t was a warm Johannesburg afternoon when the Andrews family moved in to the McDonald's old house next door.
I was sixteen going on seventeen, enjoying my final few weeks of summer holiday before term started, swimming almost hourly in our backyard pool and then sunning myself dry. I heard voices over our fence, a family discussing where to put the barbecue. Various opinions were voiced over what to do about the dilapidated lapa at the bottom of the garden.
One suggested an entertainment area, another a home office. A young female voice wanted it to be her bedroom - the others laughed, teased her gently about spiders and snakes and bats and owls as she squealed and laughed and protested her immunity to all these terrors.
I smiled as I slipped back into the water. They sounded nice. It would be good to have neighbours again - the McDonald twins had gone off to University and the parents had decamped to the coast to enjoy early retirement.
Later that evening, I was drying my hair in my room after my shower, watching a tall blond boy in their back garden as he assembled some sort of gym equipment with the well-intentioned but ultimately counterproductive assistance of an aged Labrador retriever.
He was thin, lithe and muscular, and I leaned against my window, watching him as he climbed onto the equipment's sliding seat and tested its movement back and forth.
A petite brunette woman came outside, and her words floated faintly up to me.
"William? Supper's ready."
"Thanks, mum, I'll be right in. Just testing the ergo."
"Don't be long, your food will get cold."
I watched her lean forward, kiss his head, tousle his unruly blond hair, and noted the broad grin he gave her.
Definitely a nice family.
.:.
School term started, and I got back into my routine. Most mornings Dad would drive me to school, some days Mum - when Mum took me, our timetable seemed to sync up with our neighbours. I'd watch them organising themselves, bundling their school bags and sports equipment into the family's big BMW, secretly amused at how William would herd his chaotic younger sister Sue like a dedicated sheepdog.
Our parents would nod, wave, say hello to one another, and as time went on, make small talk and arrange lunches and dinners. Sometimes William would look at me, smile a shy hello of his own. Sometimes, if I was feeling generous, I'd do the same.
William would spend an hour every evening working out on what I'd since learned was a rowing machine - in the open if the weather was fine, under their lapa if there was thunder.
I took to swimming in the evening during his workouts if the weather was good - I couldn't see him from our pool, but I could hear him, and the rhythm of his set pieces gave me a metronome for my own swim - not that our pool was anywhere long enough for a proper workout, but I did it religiously anyway.
And, besides, he was good company - quiet, disciplined, and reliable.
Summer became Autumn. Lent term ended, Michaelmas started after a short holiday. I made the senior B swimming squad at my school - a good achievement for me, about as far as I could go without dedicating my life to swimming. However, neither I nor my parents were prepared to make that kind of sacrifice. I loved swimming, I didn't live it.
William made the crew list for his school's first Eight. I learned this by eavesdropping on his family as they congratulated him one evening. It gave me another datum on the mental map I was slowly assembling of him. I dropped some passing congratulations one evening, and he thanked me with a genuinely warm smile that left me warm and slightly breathless for days.
My seventeenth birthday rolled around, and to celebrate it I had a small dinner at home with just a couple of my closest friends. I'd never liked socialising much outside of very small groups, and the idea of having a large party (even though my parents had suggested it) did not appeal whatsoever to me. So instead we ate ourselves to standstill on barbecued ribs and chicken prepared by my Dad, who stood outside in a May rainstorm to ensure that I had the birthday I wanted.
And, the next evening when I got home from school, my grinning mother showed me a small bouquet of blue Irises that William had dropped off. Attached was a plain white card, a neat cursive "Dear Tamsin - happy seventeenth. William" written dead centre.
.:.
"William?"
He straightened up out of the car boot and smiled at me. "Tamsin. Hello. How're you?"
"Fine, thanks. I... just wanted to thank you for the flowers."
"You're welcome. I hope you had a nice birthday."
"I did, thanks."
"Wills," his mother called from inside. "I need help, please."
"Gotta go," he said, as he closed and locked the car boot. "Um... see you around."
"See you later," I replied softly. I watched him carry the shopping bags indoors - he gave me one more brief smile before he closed their front door.
I went back inside, ignored my mum's amused look, and glanced again at the flowers I'd placed in a vase on our kitchen counter.
He really was a very good looking boy.
.:.
Bit by bit I learned about him through passing conversations before and after school. He and I shared a love for fantasy novels, though he also loved Sci-Fi. Before long we had a book-exchange going, swapping in and out of our libraries as the weeks and months trundled on. We started to have long rambling chats, perched on ladders leaned against our respective back garden fences.
Wills was frequently away over weekends for rowing camps, but was back for his eighteenth birthday - a loud, raucous back-yard party his parents had warned everyone might go on into the early hours. I'd watched the shenanigans with some amusement from my window before I went to bed and piled a pillow onto my head. Everybody loved the Andrews family, nobody minded the late night.
I don't know if anyone else in the street sent him a gift, and if they had, I believed my near-mint hardcover copy of the 'Chronicles of Amber' by Roger Zelazny would probably be one of the better ones.
Inside the cover I wrote a simple "Ex libris Tamsin. Happy Birthday, Wills".
According to him, it trumped everything else by a country mile.
Autumn became winter, winter became spring. I was seventeen going on eighteen, Will was coming to the end of school and starting to think about his matric exams and what he'd do thereafter.
"I think it's University of Cape Town for me," he said one evening, as we leaned on the fence between our houses, having one of our now traditional catch-up chats.
"At least you know where you'll be going."
"Yeah, but I'll miss home."
"UCT's very international, or so I hear. Lots of interesting people at least. My cousin says she loved it there - very outdoor lifestyle, and you'll have the ocean."
"Mm."
"Are you going to keep rowing?"
"For first year, maybe. Depends how hard my coursework gets."
"You're bright, you'll be fine."
He smiled at me, squinting slightly in the sunset reflecting down off my bedroom window. "Thanks, Tim Tam. Coming from you, that's a massive vote of confidence."
"Not like you need my cheerleading," I said with a smile.
"Tammy! Supper!" my dad called.
"Be right in!" I yelled.
"Catch you later," Will said, and I smiled back at him.
.:.
"Boyfriend all right?"
"Oh dad," I said, exasperated.
"Don't tease her," mum berated him. "Or I'll make you eat dinner outside in the cold."
"Yes love," he replied, contrite, and mum winked at me.
"Will's mum says he's thinking of going to UCT," Dad said.
"He was just telling me."
"It's a good University. You should start thinking about your choices, Tammy."
"I've still got a year of freedom," I replied tartly, and my parents chuckled.
.:.
Even under the most extensive torture I will not admit that I cried like a baby on the day that William left for University.
I'd pretended to be totally blasé about it, teasing him about becoming a filthy Southerner, how he'd turn into a lentil-eating hippie. He'd smiled at me and given me a wrapped package, with instructions to only open it once he was gone.
I'd tucked it under my pillow, and when my family had waved his family off on their trip to the airport I'd climbed deliberately upstairs to my room and torn open one of the neat lines of sellotape with a fingernail.
He'd left me his own personal copy of the Lord of the Rings - his name, William Patrick Andrews, written nearly on the inside cover in aged navy ink, a fresher "See you around, Tim Tam. Wills" curling gracefully under it.
And that was the trigger - I'd curled up into a ball on my bed, wrecking it with an extended bout of silent, brutal, muscle-straining sobs.
My parents had left me alone for a diplomatic period of time, and then my mum had quietly let herself into my room. She hadn't said a word, merely put an arm around me as I crawled half onto her lap and letting me find peace in my own time.
Neither mentioned my red eyes or quiet, interstellar distance over the next week, and I pretended very hard that nothing was wrong.
I'm good at lying to myself about important things.
.:.
My final year of school started - a swiftly-passing blur of swimming galas, provincial trials, exams, stress and frequent fretting about the future. Will and I desynced - any time he was home I'd invariably have something on; our few brief conversations felt stilted and artificial and left me depressed and unsatisfied. He'd always be happy to see me, and I'd always sink into a day or two of crippling melancholy when he was gone.
Blue Irises arrived on my eighteenth birthday, with a card reading, simply, "Still not eating Lentils," and I'd spent the rest of the day stuck in a slow grey lethargy that I'd only managed to shake by the next morning.
My parents and his parents had regular dinner dates - his dad joked at one point that they might as well cut a hole in the fence since it would save having to lock the front doors.
And then I matriculated, and went away to University myself, with only my mother around to cry over my departure - kind of melodramatic in hindsight given that I was still living at home. But I guess we're both emotional creatures, my mum and I, and it was childhood's end, in many ways.
First year and second year of university flew by as I dabbled in a commerce degree and experimented with relationships, which I found ultimately to be more trouble than they were worth. I lost the big V sometime in first year to someone who seemed on the face of it to be a relatively nice boy - whom I subsequently caught with a 'friend' a mere two weeks after I'd let him inside me. Disgusted and disillusioned, I retreated into my swimming and my studies, barely registered the coming and going of third year and my degree before I enlisted for honours and, somehow, graduated cum laude.
I found a job and a small flat and started working, driving home to visit my parents most weekends and sleeping in my old room overlooking the gardens.
William and I passed like ships in the night - I'd hear stories of him when I came over, and I grew into the habit of dropping in to say hello to his parents and his sister, who were always delighted to see me, always treated me like family, and who would fall over themselves to be the first to tell me what Wills had been up to - both good and bad and, sometimes, ugly.
It helped, somewhat.
.:.
I was twenty two going on twenty three. It was a bright Saturday afternoon, and I was floating quietly in the pool when I thought I heard his voice coming from next door. I stopped and listened for a moment, letting my ears confirm it wasn't a figment of my imagination. It was him.
I lifted myself out of the pool, reached for my towel, and knotted it around my waist. I dragged a chair to the fence and clambered up - and there he was, taller and better built than I remembered him, tousled blond hair falling over his face as he helped his father dig weeds out of a rose bed.
"Hello, stranger," I called.
He and his dad looked up in surprise, and both grinned at me.
"Tim Tam!" he replied. "Hi, what a nice surprise!"
"Afternoon, Tamsin," Mr Andrews called back. "Come on over, we have beer and wine and there's spectating and management work to be done here."
I laughed. "Be right there, Mr A."
I ducked indoors and grabbed my discarded vest and shorts. "Going over to the Andrews'" I told my mum. "Will's here, I'm going to catch up with him."
"Enjoy yourself," she answered with a nod and a smile.
I closed the door behind me, and vaulted over the low hedge between our gardens. Then I rang their doorbell and tried to straighten my hair a bit and make myself a bit more presentable.
William opened the door, and we stared at one another for a moment.
"Hello," I said.
"Hi," he replied.
"I was promised wine and beer. Are you going to let me in?"
He laughed and stepped aside.
I glanced up at him as I brushed past him, noting the stubble and the sun-bleached highlights in his hair. "Been spending lots of time outdoors with the hippies?"
"I never did take to lentils, you know," he retorted, grinning. He led me through the house and outdoors into the back garden, where a wine bottle was chilling in a cooler alongside a six-pack.
"Help yourself to some wine. I've still got some indentured labour to finish," he lamented.
"Labour," his dad snorted. "You don't even know the meaning of the word. Pass me the fork, Wills."
"Hi, Mr A."
"Charlie, Tamsin," Mr Andrews said as he tried to dig out a dead rosebush. "I always did hate these fucking plants," he muttered. "Thank god this one croaked. One less to prune."
William winked at me. "I suspect dad eased it on, but he denies everything."
"Don't give your mother ideas," Mr Andrews growled good-naturedly. "Or she'll make me replace it."
I grinned and helped myself to a glass of wine. And then I sat, watching the boys digging. Well. Watching one of them, mostly.
Will had clearly carried on rowing. He was whip-thin, muscled like a rock-climber, with a hard delta of lats rising to his broad shoulders. His calves bore the scars of hours on the water being chaffed by poorly-finished decking. His legs were sculpted, and he really did not look like he was carrying any spare weight whatsoever. A day's worth of stubble shadowed his chin - it suited him, gave him a roguishness that just added, in my opinion, to his already excellent looks.
He was sweating profusely by the time they finished, and as his dad went inside to wash off, Will elected to simply turn on the lawn sprinkler and stand in it for a few moments. The shirt clung to him, and did all sorts of extremely wonderful things to his anatomy before he shook himself like a dog and turned the water off.
I laughed at him, and then handed him a beer as he came to sit opposite me at their weathered garden table.
"Hello," I said again. "It's nice to finally get a chance to talk to you again. It's been so long, I've almost forgotten the sound of your voice."
"I feel like every time I arrived here you were leaving or had just left."
"Yeah, it was piss-poor scheduling on our part. What the fuck have you been up to, anyway?"
He took a long pull on his can, then set it down. "Bit of this, bit of that. Mostly work, some rowing. I represented UCT one or twice overseas, but then I expect you already know that."
"Yeah, your sister kept me up to date. How is Sue enjoying it down there?"
"Loving it. She's a born student. I suspect she'll never leave, she'll just gain an asset number at some point."
I laughed. "And you? Where are you working?"
He winced. "At a bank in Cape Town, for my sins."
"Suit-wearing lentil eating pansy!" I teased.
"Shut up, Tim Tam," he replied, grinning. "I heard about your cum laude. Congrats, Tamsin. I was super stoked for you. What are you doing these days?"
"Thanks. Mostly I'm just doing research at the moment. I work for a private security firm, advising international clients on travel and investment risks. Well, researching the advice that other, more eloquent, prettier girls then parcel up for our clients."
He rolled his eyes, dismissing my comment with a snort. "Prettier. Pah. And your swimming?"
"Recreational mostly now."
"Shame. Still keeps you in shape though."
I took a breath, touched by the compliment. "As does your rowing, clearly."
"I took up swimming too. Seemed a wise thing to do given the amount of time I spend in the ocean these days on a surf board." He grinned. "Got to be able to out-swim the great whites after all. Or at least swim faster than one other person."
"You are so totally a hippie," I laughed.
He stuck out his tongue, and I grinned at him.
"I've missed you," he said, after a period of silence.
"Ditto. My life has been devoid of entertainment. No one to talk to, all by myself," I sang softly, still grinning.
He snorted, then eyed me. "I doubt that. But, on that topic - since you're here, some mates of mine and I are going out clubbing this evening - you want to come?"
"Whereabouts?"
"Rosebank somewhere. Martin knows the place, says it's got amazing dance floors and good music."
I squinted at him. "Sure," I said, after a moment. "I could do with an outing. What time? Is it a complete sausage fest?"
"I'm leaving at nine, swinging through to pick up Martin. You can get a ride with me if you like. Entirely sausages, I'm afraid."
"You staying sober?"
"As a judge. Two drinks max."
"Dress code?"
"Marty reckons jeans and a nice shirt would do for us, so whatever the equivalent of that is."
"I'm there like a bear."
"Excellent," he grinned.
.:.
I selected a tight black halter-neck dress that fell to mid-thigh, and a pair of open-toed high-heels to go with it that gave me a little bit more height - good for vision in the confines of a club, and helpful when talking to Will who had always towered so far over me. I applied base and mascara, then rouged my cheeks ever so slightly. I elected to let my hair hang loose - it was still above my shoulders, and I knew the slight wave would set off my face well.
Then I kissed Mum and Dad goodnight, stuck a house key into my clutch bag, and closed the door behind me. Will was waiting in his mom's battered Audi, and he smiled and waved at me as he caught sight of me.
"Tim Tam, that's a lot smarter than jeans and a nice shirt," he said, amused. "You look great."
"I don't get to dress up much, so I take the chance when I can."
"I like what you've done with your hair. It suits you. Really highlights your eyes."
I flushed, smiled, glanced away. "So, picking up your friend and then clubbing?"
"Off we go," he agreed, as he eased the Audi into gear, and I leaned back into the leather seat, watching him.
.:.
It was dark, and loud, and I loved it. The four of us stuck to a standing table, watching the dance floor and everyone around us - I listened with one ear to the boys catching up on news and deeds, and laughed at the more raucous or raunchy ones. Martin and Guy were clean, nice men, but Will was still the pick of the three of them, and I derived a lot of evil pleasure from watching the speculative looks many other women were throwing his way - and even more from the glares I was harvesting.
By my third Bacardi I was buzzing, laughing, pushed up against Wills by a press of other clubbers. At one point he put an arm around me, dropped his hand to the small of my back, and I could almost hear the girls around us eating their livers in envy.
As for me, well... I ached in a different way.
.:.
I needed the loo.
"Be right back, need the ladies," I announced, drawing amused grins from the boys and comments about my lack of big match temperament. I gave them all a smiling middle finger, then forced my way through the crush near the bar, and from there into the passage towards the toilets.
queued for what felt like ages, had an amazing wee, freshened up, and was making my way back to the table when a man put his arm around me and pulled me against him.
"Let me go!"
"You've got a nice body, chicky."
"Let go of me. Let go of me right now!"
I struggled, tried to break free, and then screamed as I felt him shove a hand between my legs.
"Get your hands off me you fuck!" I shouted, contorting myself, trying to break free.
"Tam!"
There was a scuffle as Will grabbed my harasser, and threw him violently against a wall. "You fucker," he was shouting, "I'm going to moer you!"
I was barged aside as another man forced his way through the crowd. Then I screamed, a terrified "Will!" as the newcomer wound up and punched William in the side of the head.
Will went down like a marionette, and I screamed again, elbowing and kicking my way to him.
Two huge bouncers parted the crowd like Moses. One got Will's assailant in a head lock and bent him into a posture that seemed excruciating given the way he started to scream. The other dodged a punch from my groper and felled him with a brutal blow to the stomach before helping his friend subdue the first man.
I dropped to my knees next to Will, shaking him.
"Will. Will. Jesus. William. Wills. Wills. Jesus fuck, Will, wake up!"
A shaven-haired man with took my arms, restraining me gently. "Stop shaking him. He might have a head injury. Keep him still. Is he with you?"
"My neighbour. Please, he needs help. Please call an ambulance!"
"Barman's already doing it. What happened here?"
"That fuck," I said, pointing at the man on the floor. "That poes groped me. He had his hand up my fucking dress! Will pulled him off me and that other fuck punched him in the side of the head!"
"Ok. I'll take care of it. I'm police," he added. "I was supposed to be off-duty, but I'll take great delight in making sure this scum and his friend spend the night somewhere cold and miserable. You want to press charges?"
"Yes," I spat, venomously. "Fuck yes. Fucking sexual assaulting fuck!"
"Good. My name's le Roux. Please don't leave without talking to me, I need your statement so I can make sure these pigs get processed. I'll find you once I'm done them. Stay here with your friend."
Martin and Guy had managed to force their way through the press. Someone gave me a blanket, which I used to cover Will. And then I started to shake as the adrenaline wore off.
Guy put another blanket around me, and he and Martin crouched awkwardly to either side of me as I held Will's hand and fought back the tears.
.:.
Uniformed police arrived and carted the scum off in the back of a satisfyingly filthy van; I gave a brief but furious statement to to Sergeant le Roux and he promised to let me know once they'd been processed at the station.
Will began to come round as they were loading him into the ambulance. He was completely out of it - he couldn't remember what had happened or where he was and started to try to get off the stretcher, but he calmed down once I took his hand.
"You were in a fight," I kept telling him when he'd ask every few minutes. "You're being taken to hospital. I've phoned your mum and dad. Everything's fine. You're fine. Rest, Will. We'll talk once you've been admitted and checked, ok? Don't worry, Wills, I've got this."
Guy, Martin and I hopped into Will's mum's Audi and followed the ambulance. We hovered until we got word that Will was stable - a nasty concussion, but he had no fractures or any signs of internal bleeding and would most likely be discharged in the morning. I phoned Will's parents to let them know he was ok. Martin and Guy drove his car home, and Dad came through to pick me up.
I didn't tell Dad why Will had been hit, just that someone had been giving me grief and Will had tried to intervene and got sucker punched for his trouble. My dad has an incandescent temper where his little girl is concerned, and I needed him to focus on driving rather than on vengeance and hellfire.
I hugged Mum, and had a shower to wash the evening's filth (both physical and psychic) from me, then curled up, shivering, on my bed.
I didn't sleep much. I was too worried about Will.
.:.
I waited until he'd been home for about an hour, and then rang their doorbell. Will opened it - and I went thermonuclear.
"You fucking moron!" I raged at him. "He could have had a knife! He could have had a gun!"
"Hi, Tim Tam."
"Are you out of your fucking mind? What if he'd stabbed you! What if he'd shot you! You... you moron!"
"I'm feeling great, thanks for asking."
I grabbed his shirt; attempted to shake him.
"I am, literally, so angry with you right now I am struggling to put it in to words! Muppet! Doos! Idiot!"
He reached out, and pulled me into a tight, enveloping hug. I squeaked, struggled, and then gave up as the floodgates opened. I hit him ineffectually, open palmed, on the chest - a child's instinctive anger, hampered by my tears. Then I just leaned against him, trying to control myself, hands clutching his shirt spasmodically as I cried harsh, shuddering sobs.
"You fucking man-child," I hiccoughed, after some time. "Idiot. Moron."
"You're repeating yourself."
"I was so fucking scared. So fucking scared. Jesus. I thought he'd killed you. I thought you were fucking dead, Will."
"I was just resting."
"Don't. Don't trivialise this right now, you shit. Don't you dare. You put me through hell, you fucker."
Will's mum stuck her head around the corner. "She's right, Will. You were stupid. You could have been killed. Tammy's got every right to be livid with you. Don't mock her."
I pulled away from him, brushed furiously at my eyes, ashamed that Will's mum had heard me swearing. "Idiot," I breathed, shuddering.
"You'd better come in, Tammy." his mum said, as she gently took my hand and lead me through to their kitchen. "Don't worry, sweetie," she added, as she passed me a wad of tissues for my eyes, "you've not even scratched the surface of the scene I caused when we got him home. Hell hath no fury etcetera etcetera."
"I couldn't sit down," Will offered, deadpan.
"Idiot," I repeated with a shudder.
"That man sexually assaulted you, Tam."
"And if he'd killed you? What the fuck then, Einstein? Sorry, Mrs A," I added, hastily.
"You were assaulted, Tammy?" Will's mum touched my shoulder, looked at me with concern.
"Some man felt my... me... against my wishes while I was coming back from the ladies. The bouncers would have dealt with it. Will didn't need to get involved."
"Are you ok?"
"Just really angry, Mrs A."
She sighed, then turned to make tea.
I glared up at William, and he tried to look contrite. The dark bruising on his cheek and jaw didn't help at all.
"I hope it hurts," I said, unfairly. "Idiot."
"Yeah, it does, but I don't care. It was the right thing to do."
"The graveyards are full of people who did the right thing. I've only got one of you."
He glanced away, sombre, and his mum took the moment to place a cup of tea in front of me. "Going upstairs," she said softly, as she gave me a brief one armed hug. "Call me if he keels over, will you, Tammy?"
"Yeah. Sure. Once I'm done kicking him around a bit."
"Get one or two in for me, will you?" she added with a small smile. She pulled Will against her, then stepped back and stared up at him. "You're an idiot," she agreed with me as she left the room.
I took a deep breath and clasped the cup of tea.
Will opened his mouth.
"Shut up. Quiet. Just. Just be quiet for a bit, Will."
He closed his mouth, and took a seat opposite me. I glared at him, then let out a shuddering sigh. "Stupid idiot," I muttered.
He mimed a broken heart and tears.
"You're such a clown."
"I never claimed otherwise, you know. Tam... are you okay?"
"No, I'm fucking angry."
"I didn't mean with me, Tam. I meant about what happened to you. He violated you, Tam."
"He didn't have time to do anything worse than touch me, Will. He wasn't in me."
He clenched his jaw. "Still. It's not right."
"Of course I'm not okay about it, and I mean to see the fuck strung up for it, but it's just my body, Wills. It's not my heart or my mind or my soul. It's foul and wrong and evil, and it's fucking bullshit that he did it to me and I am mad as a snake about it. But Will... you could have died. And that's far, far worse for me. Never, and I really do mean fucking never ever do that to me again."
"Tam..."
"You fucking swear it to me right now."
"I swear to never do that again."
"Ok." I took a breath, then another. "Christ. I need vodka, not tea, and I'm still fucking pissed with you, William. I'm going home. I just had to come here to scream at you and make sure that you were okay and scream at you some more."
"Tamsin, I leave for Cape Town tomorrow evening."
I stared at him, suddenly cold and tired. "Oh. Oh no. So soon, Will? Really?"
"Yeah, I was just up for a city break, to visit my parents."
"For fuck sakes," I sighed, slumping forward, rubbing my eyes tiredly. "You just got here."
"Yeah, sorry for screwing it up so well. If I'd known you'd be here I'd have stayed longer."
I shook my head. "Ships in the night. Just... come say bye to my parents before you leave, will you? Mum will be really down if you don't."
"What about you?"
"I never say bye to you, Wills. It's always just a see you later."
I stood and made for the door. "Bye, Mrs A!" I called out. "Thanks for the tea!"
"Bye Tammy, love to your folks."
"Will do!"
I glanced back at him from the door. He was watching me, pensively stroking his cheek.
"See you later, Wills."
"See you later, Tim Tam."
I closed the door behind me, and kicked it hard once for good measure.
.:.
I pushed off the wall, floating on my back, watching the towering cumulonimbus that predicted an afternoon storm. The water was helping wash away the fury but had not yet done one iota to ease the memory of the crushing fear I'd experienced.
I closed my eyes, controlling my breathing.
I could still hear the sickening crack William's head had made when it struck the floor, could still taste the bile in the back of my throat.
Part of me, of course, was humbled at the knowledge he'd stepped in so readily to protect me. Who wouldn't feel that? Who wouldn't feel it to the depths of their soul that someone would stand and fight for them?
But it had been death, for me, to see him lying there. It had shaken me to the bone. Made me seriously reassess who I was... and how important he was to me. And I'd realised that, to me anyway, life away from him was a grey and lonely existence...
I felt a ripple of waves, and turned my head, squinting.
Will was perched on the tiled rim of the pool, stirring the water idly with his legs as he watched me. I swallowed the remaining anger, pushed it deep, down and away. Will didn't need more griefing. I'd been more than mean enough to him today. It was time to make friends again.
"Hi Will."
"Hi, Tim Tam. I saw you swimming so I thought I'd hop over and join you, and work on my apology."
The top of a ladder peeked over the fence. I snorted - Will and I had always set up a highway during summer holidays; he'd had a standing invitation to use our pool and had taken frequent advantage of it. He'd clearly not felt like coming through the front door; he was probably tired of the attention, knowing him.
"Coming in?" I asked.
"Nah, just chilling a bit."
"Mm." I pushed off the wall once more, drifting, conscious now of the way he was watching me. My two-piece costume showed more than I'd ideally like in the circumstances, but I'd thought I'd have the pool to myself.
And anyway, he'd probably earned the right to admire me a little bit. It wouldn't kill him, and might just give him a bit of necessary introspection.
So I drifted on my back, watching the encroaching clouds, leaving him to stew with his thoughts. I reached the far wall, turned upright again, and glanced at him - he was still watching me, still pensively twirling a leg in the water.
"You'd feel better for a swim, you know," I said.
"I'm not wearing a costume."
"It's never stopped you before."
He snorted, then pulled off his teeshirt. He had filled out, grown a man's gorgeous chest and shoulders. I approved - they suited him.
I moved closer, then reached up and took his hand and pulled him down into the water with me.
I pushed off the wall and floated away, and I felt the ripples as he did the same. We drifted in silent company, an armada of two, as the clouds built slowly in the heavens above us.
"Tam?" he said, eventually. His voice was soft, cautious.
"Wills."
"What did you mean earlier when you said you've only got one of me?"
"I said what I meant."
"That's what I'm asking."
"You're a bright boy, you'll work it out. I believe in you."
Thunder rumbled in the distance, and we both glanced over our shoulders, instinctively evaluating the distance to the storm.
"Half an hour?" I hazarded.
"Yeah... We could go sit in the lapa, watch the lightning."
"Or indoors in your kitchen."
"We have beer and wine," he offered, eyebrow raised.
"After last night I could use a drink or ten. I'll go put on something decent and be right over."
He waited for me to climb out of the pool, then lifted himself out after me. I caught him watching me as I dried my stomach and legs, and I'd be lying if I said it didn't bring a slight flush to my cheeks to know he'd finally started to notice that I wasn't a girl any more. I made sure I lingered a bit before wrapping my towel around my waist, giving him time to properly appreciate me.
I was blushing by the time I was done. Will had a strangely intent expression on his face, but he gave me a light "See you later," as he climbed on a chair and swung his leg back over the fence. I watched him go, feeling slightly ashamed for flaunting myself. But I'd wanted to see if he'd react. And it had been gratifying to see that he had.
I made my way indoors, and up to my room. Thunder rumbled, closer this time. The storm was building.
I stripped out of my costume, and dug a plain but decent push-up bra out of my bag. I clipped it on, adjusted myself, and then pulled on a pair of sheer panties. A tight white vest and blue jeans and I was good to go. I turned sideways, checking my profile in my mirror. Decent cleavage, but not trashy or obnoxiously slutty.
Good.
My jeans were worth what I'd paid for them - they clung to me without appearing to, and I approved of what they did for my bum.
I left my hair loose and tangled, not wanting to waste the time in drying it. I knew Will wouldn't mind.
"Mum?"
"Yep, Tam?"
"Heading over the fence, going to watch the storm with Wills."
"Give him a hug from me and tell him I hope he's feeling better. You going to be back for supper?"
"I will," I said. "If not, I'll shout."
She laughed, and waved.
I rang the Andrews' doorbell and waited, shifting nervously from foot to bare foot.
William opened the door - he'd pulled on jeans and a clean shirt of his own. He smiled, turned aside and let me in, and then made a strange noise deep in his throat as I stepped up and hugged him, hard. After a moment, he wrapped his arms around me and held me, face pressed into my damp hair.
"That's from my mum," I said softly. "Partly. But also it's to say sorry for giving you so much abuse this morning. It was unfair of me and I'm sorry."
"I know I deserved some of it, but apology accepted. Have you accepted mine?"
"Wills, you've never done anything to me you needed to apologise for. I was just scared and angry and I exploded. It wasn't right and I'm sorry for going psycho on you."
"Never apologise for caring, Tim Tam." He brushed his lips against my forehead and I shivered.
"Wine's cold," he announced, releasing me. I regretted that, the sensation of his arms around me had left me slightly giddy. I wanted more, but I fought down the urge, let him go and followed him through to the kitchen.
Thunder growled, very close now, and Wills paused before pouring me a glass of white. "Sounds like it's going to be a big one." He topped his own glass up, and raised it to me.
"Cheers, Tam."
"Cheers, Wills."
"So, fill me in, please. I've got this strange memory from last night of you holding my hand and telling me I was ok."
"You were completely out of it, Wills. You kept trying to get up off the gurney... stretcher... fuck, whatever it was. You were very confused, completely fucked in the head. It was the best way I could think of to get you to lie still short of sitting on you or strapping you down. I had to tell you what happened about fifteen times in total."
"Thanks for being there for me, Tammy."
"Where else would I be?"
"What do you mean?"
You'd just pulled someone off me. It was actually kind of awesome, you know. You looked like you went into full-on red-mist Saxon rage. I think he probably shat himself a bit."
"Pity player two entered the game," he muttered, rubbing gently at his jaw.
I glanced across at him. "How sore is it, really?"
"Pretty sore. Constant throb, more when I move my mouth."
"So talking hurts?"
"A bit. So does smiling."
"So I'm effectively torturing you, right now?"
"Yep."
"Good."
He laughed, then winced, then laughed again.
"Sorry, but you do kind of deserve it a little bit," I said.
"Touché."
A flash of bright white outside, a monumental roar of thunder. A gust of wind blew through, and I heard windows banging closed upstairs.
"Shit, that's hail," he said, and I glanced outside, where squash-ball-sized chunks of ice were starting to fall.
"Oh boy. There goes your mum's car. I hope it doesn't take out windows like last Christmas."
I spun on my seat, leaning back against the counter and watching the developing carnage. "Shit. It's a big one, isn't it."
"Yeah. Crowd-pleaser."
Then Will slid his chair up next to mine. I glanced up at him and then, heart thumping, I risked leaning in against him and rested my head against his shoulder.
I heard him sigh, and he put his wineglass down on the countertop with a faint clink.
"Tammy?"
"Will."
"What's on your mind?"
"Explain."
"You're behaving... differently. Towards me."
"Am I?"
"Yes. You are. Very differently. And I... I need to know why."
"Why?"
"Because I desperately want to put my arms around you, and I'm scared that I'm... misreading how're you're acting towards me."
"You can put your arm around me, Wills," I breathed.
And then I shivered as he did just that, and leaned in harder against him, closing my eyes.
"Tammy, are you ok?"
"Yes but no but yes," I whispered with a shudder. "Just... I've just realised how long I've been waiting for this moment."
"Tam?"
I sighed and glanced up at him. "Sometimes, William, you're really not very quick on the uptake."
"You're into me." He sounded surprised, perplexed even.
"Yes, Wills, I am."
"Since when?"
"Wills... honestly, I'd be lying if I gave you an actual answer. And I actually don't really know. But it feels like since forever."
"Tim Tam, why didn't you ever say anything to me?"
"I guess it was just never the right time. And I... was scared. Of rejection or some such shit."
"And now?"
"Last night terrified me, Will. Shook some things loose in my head, if you can believe that. I... realised just how much I needed you in my life."
"And you decided to..."
"Let you know how I feel about you. You were my friend, Will. But... somewhere along the line you became... more. To me. And I don't want to hide that from you any more."
"Your timing really sucks, you know that."
"Yeah. Still. I guess it maybe gives you a reason to come back to visit a bit more frequently."
He pulled me in against him, and we listened to the roaring tempest outside.
"So what now?" I said, softly.
"Right now? Or from now on?"
"From now on, Will."
"Well, it's going to take me some time to wind things up in Cape Town and organise a transfer, so we will have to be long distance at first."
I took a shuddering breath. "Will... what..."
He stared down at me, a slight smile crooking his mouth. "Tamsin. You just let me know, in no uncertain terms, that I was missing out on something unique by not being around. Something I'd never dared to even hope for. So of course the first thing I want to do is make sure I'm around. Because I don't want to miss this chance with you."
"You'd... do that? Will? For me?"
"I'm surprised that you're surprised, Tam."
"Honestly... I am. I mean... I'm flattered, and breathless, and giddy, and I'd be lying if I didn't say you just melted me, but... Will. Your whole life is down there."
"It's a place, Tam. Just a place. Life is about people. And you're my people."
I sat up straight, staring at him.
"Close your mouth, Tam," he said, amused. "You'll catch flies."
"Are you honest to God serious, Will? You're not fucking with me, you're really, deadly serious about this?"
"Have I ever lied to you, Tamsin?"
"No..."
"Then why would I start now?"
"Will?"
"Yeah?"
"You can kiss me, if you'd like," I breathed.
He smiled, and gently reached out to cup my chin.
It was better by far than anything I'd ever fantasised it would be, and I think I probably made some noise, because Will was grinning like the Cheshire cat when he let me go.
And to be fair, so was I.
.:.
"I'll see you in the morning," I said, clasping him to me. "Will?"
"Yeah?"
"I'm so very, very glad that you were home this weekend."
He smiled down at me, and I stood up on tiptoes to kiss him.
"Phone me later," he said.
"To say goodnight?"
"Something like that, yes."
"Mm. I'll think about it," I teased him.
"Go on, you, go eat supper."
"Wills?"
"Yeah?"
"See you later."
"Hah. Cheers, Tim Tam."
I closed our door behind me, and did a quiet little victory dance in the hall.
"Tammy?"
I spun, flushing bright scarlet as I realised that my Dad was leaning against the kitchen door. He laughed, shaking his head in amusement. "Was that a lottery win, my girl? Or did Will finally man up and ask you out?"
"Dad!" I protested, flushing hot. "Don't tease me or I'll tell mum."
"Come and sit down, supper's getting cold," he added, eyes twinkling.
I spent an excruciating dinner with mum and dad, distracted, grinning to myself when I remembered the taste of him. Significant looks were shared over my head by my amused parents, but bless them, they didn't tease me or pry. Mum gave me a hug as I helped her to clear up, and snorted with suppressed laughter at my inability to string coherent sentences together.
I scampered upstairs as soon as I could, and leaped onto my bed, still flushed and grinning to myself.
My phone beeped and I scrabbled for it.
- My parents are griefing me -
I laughed.
- Mine haven't yet, but they're definitely thinking it loudly enough for me to hear -
- I feel stupid for not knowing how things stood -
- I took a while to work it out myself -
- I always had a thing for you, you know. I just never acted on it -
I stared at my phone.
- You... always? -
- Yes -
- And you left it up to me to be the one to make the first move? -
- As you just mentioned, you hadn't worked it out yet, and I'd probably have scared you off -
- I'm not going to forgive you for this you know. x -
- You can punish me as much as you like, Tim Tam -
I laughed, flopped back onto my bed.
- Don't tempt me. I'm still a little angry at you for last night -
- I grovel very well -
Mum knocked on my door, and stuck her head through. "Just checking everything's ok, Tam."
"I'm fine mum. More than fine. I'm great."
"Mm," she added, as she stepped into the room and bent down to kiss my head. Then she ruffled my hair as if I was still sixteen, and I squealed. "Mum!"
"Don't stay up too late," she said, with a wink. Then she closed the door behind her.
- Now my mum's griefing me - I sent him.
- How many knowing looks are we going to get, I wonder -
- All of them. All the knowing looks, ever. - I sighed. - What are you doing? -
- Lurking in my room, missing you -
- Ditto - I replied.
- It's still early and your pool is probably still warm -
I sat up and stared outside at the gathering dusk. -Sound carries well at night. You angling to scandalise everyone? -
- I have no idea what you're implying. I was merely pointing out that the water will be nice -
- Meet you out there in 10 minutes -
I stood, closed my curtains, and stripped. I found my costume bundled in a towel, and pulled it on. I could feel my cheeks were flushed, and a big ball of butterflies churned in my belly.
I peeked through the curtains, and saw Will climbing over the ladder. I snuck downstairs and slipped out through the kitchen's sliding door.
"It's still warm despite the hail," Will said, as I dumped some towels on a deck chair.
"The solar heater works well." I sat down, and lowered myself into the water next to him. He reached out, and pulled me against him - I let out a shivering sigh as I felt his skin against mine.
"We're going to scandalise absolutely everyone."
"We're not children any more, Tim Tam."
"True. But we still need to behave, Wills."
"Somewhat, yes. Even though I'd love not to."
I whimpered as he gently kissed my neck. "Oh, oh God," I breathed. "Oh God I can't believe how much I've wanted this."
"You were an incredible test of my self control."
"Your self control was always impeccable. Didn't ever notice a sneaky look or anything until earlier today."
"You were my Tim Tam, and I would have rather died than upset you."
I draped my arms over his shoulders, pulled myself against him. He glanced downwards, swallowing.
"Yes, they're hard, and no, it's not from the cold."
"Christ, you're a gorgeous woman."
I felt him slide a hand down my back, and I shuddered. I leaned in, kissed him, and then broke away as he tried to pull me closer.
"Need to cool off, need to slow down," I whispered. "You're doing my head in. Especially when you look at me the way you are now."
"Likewise."
"I've been such a fool, Will. Such a fool. I should have worked it out long ago."
"But we got there in the end, didn't we."
"Eventually. Just in time for you to disappear off again."
"We've got some time at least."
"Uh huh. The phone bill is going to be astronomical when you're in Cape Town."
He moved closer, and took me in his arms again. I wrapped my arms around him, clung close. I could feel him against me now, throbbing, and I ground my belly slightly against him to let him know I'd noticed.
"Tam?"
"Uh huh."
"You really are beautiful, you know. You've always been gorgeous... but these last couple of years really were good for you."
"How so?" I asked, amused.
"You filled out and rounded out and went from amazing to perfect."
"I'm glad you finally noticed."
"I was always aware. Just... stealthy about how I appreciated it."
I reached down, took his hand, lifted it and kissed it. Then I put it against my breast.
"I wish we were at my place," I said softly. "I wish we had time to do this properly."
"Do what properly?"
"Make love."
"Tam..."
"Don't you want me, Wills?"
"Of course I want you," he groaned, pushing against me. "But... not here, not like this. I love holding you like this, love feeling you against me like this... but..."
"But..."
"When we do this I want it to take hours, not seconds."
I pulled back slightly, grinning at him. "Seconds, hmm?" I reached down, felt for him, and laughed softly in my throat as I heard him whimper. I stroked the outline of his erection through his board shorts. He was fully erect, rock hard, and for a moment I wished I could see him.
"Milliseconds..." he breathed. He slid a hand down my back, cupped my bum and pulled me firmly against him, and I kissed him once more as he ground against me. Then, before I could lose my nerve, I slipped my hand inside his board-shorts and grasped him. I could only just close my fingers around him.
"Jesus, Will. That is a big problem you've got there."
"Tam," he groaned.
"You said it would just take seconds, and I want to feel it."
I started to stroke him, slow and gentle at first, listening to the noises he was making, loving the way he clenched my bum and pulled me in against him. He buried his face in my neck and kissed and nuzzled me, bit my earlobe, and I felt his entire body tensing. I squeezed him slightly, amused by the hiss of breath, the way he shifted his hips slightly.
"You like that?" I breathed into his ear, and he moaned assent. "You're going to have to show me everything you love," I groaned, as I increased my hand's tempo. "I want to know you entirely. All of you. I want to make you mine. I want you to make me completely yours."
"I'm... already yours... Tammy..." he whispered. "Totally yours..."
He was iron hard, and wonderfully thick, and I could feel the heat of him against my palm as I stroked him. I felt the ridges of his cock under his skin, the way he twitched with each heartbeat. I felt him hunching forward slowly, his breathing growing shallower, muscles tighter. I pushed my aching belly hard against him, wishing he was in me, filling me, possessing me, groaning softly with my own need.
He gasped, whimpered, convulsed forward - I heard him grinding his teeth to avoid crying out, cock pulsing, throbbing in my hand as he came. He moaned, a strangled sound that he tried to hold back - I laughed softly, exultant, and pulled myself in against him, body on fire. I felt him slow, felt him take a deep, laboured breath, and then he wrapped me in his arms and cradled me on his lap, tucked in against him.
"Next time," I breathed, "Next time I want you to do that deep inside me."
We heard the kitchen door slide open, and froze.
"Tammy?" my dad called. "Are you in the pool?"
"Yes, dad," I called back, trying to suppress the giggles.
"Ok, I'll leave the door unlocked."
"Thanks dad," I called, grinning at Will's somewhat panicky expression. "He wouldn't mind. Much," I whispered, wickedly. "He's always liked you."
"Tell that to me after I've cleaned myself off and deflated," Wills whispered. "I don't think he'd be philosophical if he caught me in the state I am now."
"I'd tell him to leave my man alone."
"I like that label," he said, as he touched his forehead to mine.
"I rather thought you might."
.:.
I kissed Will goodnight a second time, and helped him slink back over the fence. Then I snuck quietly back indoors, locking up behind myself.
Playing with Will's cock had put me into an incredibly altered headspace, and I craved release. It had been impossible to do anything more in the pool; I was supremely horny and extremely frustrated, but I knew from experience that the pool water did not make for effective lube and I'd just chafe if I let him anywhere near me - no matter how much I craved his cock buried in me.
I climbed upstairs, fetched some clean towels, and locked the bathroom door behind me. I turned on the taps to provide some noise camouflage, and stripped, slipping a finger along myself even as I was staggering free of my drenched costume bottoms.
I was aching, my clit engorged, my entire body hypersensitive following the kisses Will had left me with. I'd pulled down my top for him, let him admire and play with my small but seemingly pleasing breasts a bit - his tongue had been hot, his lips delectable, and it had taken every ounce of my self-control not to feel myself or, worse, try to slip his still-semi-erect cock into me. But Will had had an active sense of self-preservation. Plus I reckoned he probably wanted to see what he would be putting his fingers and penis into - I got the strong impression my boy was a visual guy who wanted to see, touch and taste every inch of of my body. And I had no complaints about that...
I whimpered as my muscles twitched. I backed up, leaned against the sink, spread my legs and hunched forward as I started to drive a finger into myself, then two, in and out, hard and deep.
"Uhn..." I moaned, "oh fuck..."
My pussy was soaking wet, aching to be filled. I writhed, groaned again, wishing I had something big and hard, a dildo, anything that I could pretend was him, so that I could ride it and fantasise it was his hard, thick, gorgeous, throbbing, sticky come-and-cunt-slicked cock pistoning in and out of my aching needing quivering moaning writhing...
I convulsed forward, mouth agape, groaning as my orgasm took me, hard and brutal. My legs spasmed closed, and I slipped, catching my elbow on the side of the basin, then sliding further down to the floor, thighs twitching rhythmically with savage aftershocks. I leaned back against the basin cabinet, panting, sore and giddy and fighting down the laughter at the ridiculousness of it.
"Ow. Fuck," I whimpered, giggling, rubbing my elbow. "Good job, pussy. Nice one."
Once I felt I could stand, I had a quick shower to wash the worst of the chlorine and sex and sweat off of my skin, and then slunk back to my room.
- Just had the most magical orgasm, thinking of you - I sent him, flushing.
- You are so evil. I'm lying here trying to be good -
- You'd have so loved watching it -
- I know -
- Next time I'll tell you when I'm going to do it so you can phone me and listen as I come -
- Or just video call me and let me take part -
- Mm. I might just do that -
I yawned.
- Jesus I'm exhausted now -
- It's been a high intensity twenty four hours -
- That it has. I need to put on some clothes and crawl into bed -
- Do I get a photo? -
- No. If you're good you can see it in the flesh tomorrow before you go -
- Minx. Sleep well, my Tim Tam -
- Oh I'm going to x -
I pulled on a vest, didn't even bother with panties, and clicked off my light. I probably rolled over once before I fell asleep.
.:.
I yawned, stretched, cracked open an eye. My elbow throbbed, and memories of the prior night came back to me. I grinned, flushed, squeezed my legs together and thought about him. My Will. Finally, my Will.
It was just after nine in the morning, and I crawled out from under the sheet. I dug in my bag for some panties and a sports bra, pulled off my vest and wriggled into the underwear. I found a teeshirt and some soft tracksuit pants and pulled them on, then secured my hair in a hairband.
Mum was doing the crossword in the kitchen, and she smiled up at me as I started digging in the fridge for eggs.
"French toast?" I offered her.
"Already eaten, Tam, thanks."
"Where's Dad?"
"Golf," she said, rolling her eyes.
"Ah."
"So," she added, as she folded the paper and set it aside, "how's your boy?"
"Um..." I flushed, eggs half-liberated.
She chuckled softly. "It's kind of obvious that things have changed between you two, you know."
"That clear, huh?" I sighed.
"Tamsin, the two of you have been thick as thieves since they moved in next door. It was bound to happen sometime," she added, with a grin.
"I guess it took us a while to work that out. I feel like I've wasted so much time, Mum."
"Tam, you're twenty two. You've got plenty of time."
"Hope so."
"He's a lovely boy. You make sure you treat him well."
"Mum! What do you think I am!"
She grinned at me, and picked up her crossword again. "Invite him over for breakfast," she said.
"He's leaving tonight, he should probably be with his parents."
"What?"
"Yeah," I sighed. "It sucks, but that's the life of the working couple."
"Listen to you, all grown up and everything."
"Sarcasm does not become you, mother," I grumbled.
"Well, see if he's free for lunch then - I'll get dad to stop for fresh calamari, William always did like that."
"So... you guys don't mind?"
"Mind? Tam. We've always approved of him. Just be careful. I'm not ready for grandkids."
"Mum!" I said, scandalised, laughing.
"I never had to have the birds and the bees talk with you. Don't make me regret that lapse," she added.
"Um... we'll be careful."
She turned back to her crossword and, blushing, I made my french toast and escaped to the living room.
.:.
- Oh my god my mum seriously just birds and bees'd me -
- She what! -
- Totally! I nearly died. So funny. She also said she's expecting you for lunch. Calamari -
- Oh god. Spanish Inquisition time. -
- Hahaha don't be a girl. Come over and kiss me soundly in front of them so they can get it out of their systems -
- Problem is that I won't want to stop there and you know it -
- Oh ditto. I had such wicked dreams about last night's swim -
- If they're anything like mine, I'm just going to smirk knowingly -
- What time do you have to be at the airport -
- 6pm -
- Want a ride? -
- Yes -
- I just realised how that came out. Lol. -
- :) a lift would be amazing too -
- Tease x Come round about midday if your parents are ok with it? -
- Ok. See you later Tam -
I grinned to myself, and tried to find something mindless on the television to distract myself with.
.:.
"Holy fuckballs I'm going to miss you," I breathed into his chest. "I'm going to be a wreck."
"Are you sure you're going to be ok to drive home, Tam?"
"I'll be fine. I'm good at blocking shit when I need to, Will."
"I just realised that I never did get to see you naked," he grumbled into my ear.
I smirked up at him. "Maybe when you're home," I said, with a wink. "I'll definitely need distracting."
He clasped his arms behind me, and lifted me up off my feet. I squealed, then laughing, draped my arms over his shoulders. "I forget how strong you are," I said, staring down at him.
"You're just light as a feather."
"Nonsense."
"Well, I think you are."
"So you'll be home by ten or so?"
"Assuming no delays, yes."
"Ok. I'll be home, wet and waiting."
"Tammy," he groaned, setting me slowly down. "They'll arrest me for public indecency if you carry on."
"Don't blame me for the way your mind reacts to me."
He clutched me to him again, and then kissed me - slow, sensual and delicious.
"Will," I breathed, breaking for air. "Will, you can't do that to me and then leave. It's not fair."
"You just get damp. I bulge. Seems perfectly fair to me."
"Get going. You'll miss your flight. Be safe, Will."
"Talk when I'm home, Tim Tam."
He lifted his backpack and threw it over a shoulder. One more slow kiss, and he turned.
"Will?"
"Tam?"
"Nice bum."
He laughed. "Drive safe, love."
"I will," I said, flushing. I waved to him, waited till he'd passed through security, and then made for the parking lot.
.:.
"How was your flight?"
"Bumpy," he answered. "Not much fun."
"Are you home?"
"Yeah. Just got in, busy boiling a kettle and checking what I have in the fridge."
"I wish I was there. I'd drape myself on your table and you could have me for hors d'oeuvres and dessert."
"God I'd love that. I'd definitely love to eat you."
I shivered. "What an image," I whispered. "Oh, god, I should have got you to do that to me. Should have sat on the side of the pool and spread myself and let you tongue me silly."
"Well. Now I'm not interested in food any more," he said, matter of fact.
"Oh?"
"Now I'm purely interested in you."
"Such a shame," I sighed. "So sad. That'll teach you to fly out on a Sunday night."
"Are you at your parents'?"
"No, back at my flat. So I can be as loud as I want to. I've got my curtains closed and I'm walking around in my birthday suit, wishing you were here or I were there."Show me," he breathed.
"Two secs."
I flipped the call from voice to video and waited for it to connect. "Happy?" I asked, as he smiled out at me.
"So you're nude, hmm?"
I held the phone away from me, then angled it, giving him a view. "Uh huh."
"Oh fuck me, you're gorgeous."
"I'm going to shave later. Then next time you'll be able to see all of me. Enjoying yourself, Will?"
"No. Aching for you."
"So sad," I breathed. I sat down on my bed, spread my legs slightly. "I'm soaking wet."
"Oh god."
"Uh huh. So, so ready for that cock of yours. If only it were here."
He laughed, helplessly.
"Want to see?" I asked, shyly.
"Uh huh."
"Ok, let me try get you a nice angle."
I reached down with my phone, trying for a slow reveal and failing. "Oh..." I breathed, after a moment or two. "I've never actually looked at myself like this. I'm totally going to be doing this some more, it's really hot. Well... this is me, Will."
"Oh man."
"Do you like my pussy?"
"Tam... You're stunning. Every bit of you. Every single bit. But your lips," he added... "I don't actually have the words for how much I like them."
"Hang on," I whispered, reaching down with my free hand. "Let me spread them for you. There. Oh God. See how tight I am?"
"Jesus fuck, Tam..." he moaned.
"You like that?" I whispered.
"Yes."
"Watch how slick I am," I whispered, as I stroked a finger over myself. "How slippery when wet. See how wet you make me?"
"Oh fuck I wish I'd stayed till tomorrow."
"I'd have... got you to put your cock in me... and fuck me senseless... by now," I whimpered. "I'd be leaking your cum everywhere. Will, I want your... cock in me so much right... now it hurts."
"I'm aching for you, Tam. So hard. Christ. I wish I was there. I'd stroke your thighs, kiss them, kiss your lips, slip my tongue up and down along your slit..."
"Oh god, Will, keep talking, keep talking..."
"I'd take your clit in my lips, gently suck it away from your body, tongue the base, the tip..."
"Oh... Will... oh god..."
"Slip a fingertip into you. And another. Stretch you a bit. Make you moan."
"Make me... writhe like... this..."
"Uh huh. Suck you. Taste you. Lick you till you screamed..."
"Wouldn't...take much... oh... oh... Will... I'm..."
I came, hard, toes curling, stomach cramping as convulsion followed convulsion. I rolled onto my side, crying now, needing him, needing his hands on me, needing his body beside me.
It was some time before I could hear his gentle, repeated "Tam?"
"Sorry," I breathed. "Sorry. Sorry. That was so fucking intense."
"Tim Tam, are you okay?"
"Yeah. Just. Overwhelmed. That was... crazy good. And now I just really miss you."
"I wish I was there."
"So do I, Wills," I whispered, rubbing my eyes and stretching. "So do I."
.:.
Every day became something I needed to summon all my reserves just to survive. During the first week I was constantly distracted by thoughts of him, so much so that I earned a verbal dressing down from my manager. I swallowed my pride, dug deep, sorted my shit out, and mostly managed to save the daydreams for out of hours time.
Weekends were harder - I started to spend a lot of time swimming as it put me into a headspace where I didn't miss him as much. I visited his family and my family, read a lot, and neglected my small circle of friends rather shamefully.
Will had leapt head-first into the process of requesting a transfer. He said he'd hinted to health problems at home. He said he hadn't mentioned they were sexual health problems. I laughed so hard at that that I did in fact wee.
Night time turned into long video chats that frequently devolved into romps. Most times I masturbated myself ragged on camera for him as he described in minute detail the filthy, degenerate things he wanted to do to me (mostly variations on fucking me to exhaustion on every flat surface in my flat). I had never in my wildest dreams about him had fantasies that came close to the reality of his voice in my ear as I came again and again for him.
Under it all, though, was the distance between us. He'd set a date for his next trip north, and I grew more and more nervous and excited as each morning came and I knew he was a day closer to me.
Three weeks became three days, then two, then one. It was Friday, and he was arriving on the 6pm flight that night.
I don't know how I managed to keep it together, but somehow I did.
.:.
I spotted him long before he saw me and had more than enough time to build to a sprint before he noticed me and reacted. I leaped, caught him and wrapped my arms around his neck, trusting him to catch me. I was amused by the muffled grunt he let out as he took a half-step backwards to absorb my momentum - and then I just burrowed in against him, listening to my heart thumping in my chest and to the chuckles and comments from the other travellers passing us by through the airport's arrival hall.
"Oh my God I missed you so much," he breathed into my neck. I clung to him, shivering, heart hammering, trying and failing to get any sort of coherent sentences out. He spun me around once, and I drank in the scent of him.
"Ditto," I managed eventually. "God, it's good to have you here. Come. I'm parked some distance away. Put me down and lets get going."
He let me go, slung his backpack over his shoulder, and then took my hand. We made our way through the crowd of Friday evening travellers, through the maze of passages and halls of OR Tambo, and, eventually to my tatty red Corolla. He flung his bag onto the back and clambered into the front. We sat for a moment, grinning at one another like kids again, and then I took his hand and placed it on my thigh for the half hour trip home.
At first he behaved, but when I slid down slightly and opened my legs he took the hint, eased his fingers down, and started to stroke gently along my aching, soaking crotch. I didn't reciprocate, keeping both hands on the wheel but letting him explore me a little. He couldn't penetrate me, the angle was wrong, but he was able to work me up to a fever pitch by the time we turned off into the small complex I lived in.
He followed me up the two flights of stairs, then stood behind me, arms around me, cupping my breasts through my sun dress and grinding his rock hard cock against the small of my back as I struggled to unlock the door.
"Oh for fucks sakes," I whimpered as I dropped my keys for the third time, and he laughed and retrieved them for me.
"Don't laugh, you're lucky we made it here in one piece," I grumbled, as I turned and stood on tiptoes to bite his earlobe. "If it had been safe I'd have pulled over and made you fuck me."
"Not my fault. You asked for it."
"Uh huh," I whimpered as I finally managed to get my key into my lock and open the door. I kicked it open, grabbed his hand, pulled him inside and bumped it closed with my hip.
And then he had me in his arms, up, against the door with my sundress bunched up around my hips, and I moaned as I felt his hard bar of a cock digging into me. I reached down, fumbled at the buttons of his jeans, and managed to pop two open. He braced us, dropped a hand, undid his belt, and I groaned as I was able to get a hand down into his underwear to feel him, cup his balls, appreciate the throbbing heat of him.
"Tam," he hissed.
"Unhuhn..." I whimpered, as I tried to get him out.
"Missed you so much..."
"Unhuhn..."
I managed to release him from his briefs, pulled his perfect hard shaft against me, held him, his huge head grinding and jutting against my belly. He was kissing my neck, my shoulders, my ears, his hands on my bum, supporting my weight as he bore against me.
I didn't hesitate. I wriggled, arched slightly, got him angled down and placed his engorged head against me, using it and my fingertips to drag the crotch-strap of my panties aside. I slid him along me, once, twice between my aching inner lips and then he took over and thrust into me. I arched back, crying out as he pushed himself deep into me, stretching me so much I felt like I was tearing in two.
"Oh... Jesus... fuck..." I hissed, eyes squeezed closed, nails digging into my palms in a mix of pain and ecstasy. I couldn't catch my breath. It hurt like fuck, it felt like I was being turned inside out - but I didn't want it to stop.
Will was on autopilot, slamming me against the door with every massive thrust of his cock into me. I was gasping, panting now, my body slowly adjusting to this, to him being in me. I lifted my legs higher, crossed my ankles behind him, angled myself - the most extreme discomfort eased. I groaned as a rippling shudder ran through me, and I felt my aching vagina spasm on him on him. He was moaning for breath now, driving in and out of me at breakneck speed, and I clung to him, letting him use me, awed by the intensity of his need for my body.
And then he groaned, and buried himself in me, crushing me against the door as he writhed and shivered. I felt him pulsing deep in me, and my body gave another shudder. I whimpered for breath, clawing at him - at his back, his flanks, kissing his neck, whispering incoherent nonsense into his ear as he emptied himself inside me.
And then he relaxed, took his weight off me, and I took a deep shuddering gasp.
I pulled his face to me and kissed him, hard.
"Sorry... sorry," he panted. "Shit.. sorry, Tam..."
"For what, Wills..."
"For being... so rough with... you..."
"You were, a little... but I forgive you," I whispered between kisses.
He buried his face in my neck, and squeezed me to him. I kissed his chin. "Wills. Wills. Look at me, Wills."
"Sorry."
"Stop saying sorry, Wills. Was it... was I good at least?"
"Jesus, Tamsin... you just have no idea..."
"Um... I thought I was ready for you but... I wasn't. Sorry, that's on me. You're just... well, you're pretty fucking big, Will, and... I haven't exactly had that much down there recently other than my fingers, so... next time we'll just need to be a bit slower, ok?"
"Absolutely," he said, contrite. "Sorry. Shit... did I... hurt you, Tam?"
"A little. But it's passing and I'll live. Now... you've had your fun, so now I get to have mine. Hold still."
"Sorry?"
"Don't... move. Gonna... use you... like you used me... " I hissed as I reached down to myself, and started to stroke the base of my clit. My abs spasmed almost immediately. "Oh God," I whimpered. "You may be big but your cock head is right where... uhn... right where it needs... Jesus... to be..." I gasped. "Oh fuck Wills, fuck, it's so good with you in me like this."
He pulled slightly out, and pushed, groaning, back into me.
I wailed a helpless "Will!" as he bottomed out in me again. "Do me... do me..." I begged, slick finger dancing on myself, hips twitching uncontrollably. "Do me deep, do me fucking deep Will..."
He started to slip excruciatingly slowly in and out of me. "Tammy... Jesus, you're so tight... this is..."
"Uhn... Wills... what you're doing... don't you dare... stop... oh... oh fuck..."
And then I came, muscles locking down on him as he buried himself in me to the balls. He held me to him as I convulsed, whimpered, cursed and, yes, cried a little. He kissed me, cradled me, held me until I relaxed, until I breathed.
Then, once I was done, he slowly lifted me off him, and lowered me to the floor. We held each other tightly as his slowly-softening cock made more of a mess of both of us.
.:.
I'd discarded my underwear in the laundry basket - they were a lost cause, he was still dripping out of me, and a fresh pair was just as pointless. So I'd done what I could with a towel, then returned to my small living area, where I'd accepted the wine and the long, slow kiss he'd offered me. We sat down on the couch, and stared at one another for a breath or two.
"Are you ok, Tim Tam?"
I smiled at the concern. "Yeah, Wills, I'm ok. Why?"
He sipped his wine, shifted. "Just... feeling guilty is all."
"Guilty?"
"Like I took advantage of you. Like I was... rough with you."
"Will," I said softly, as I took his hand. "Haven't you learned by now that I shout very loudly when I don't want someone to do something to me?"
He snorted. "I guess."
"It was faster than I was ready for, I'll grant you that. But it was so hot, Will. You're so hot. I've... I've wanted you for so long, Wills. So long. And there's plenty of time for you to be really slow and gentle as well. I liked that you needed me that much."
"I'd had my fingers in you for the whole ride home. We've been intimate every night. I was finally with you again. I could hardly think about anything else other than being as deep in you as I possibly could be."
"Well. You certainly had me soaking wet, and it was a real test of my willpower that we got home. If the drive had been much longer I would have come."
"Are... are you still sore, Tammy?"
"Mm." I reached over, squeezed his thigh high up by his crotch. "Just takes time for me to adjust, Wills. I haven't really... been with many guys. And the last was a long time ago. My body will get used to you, and then you can do me as hard as you like, as often as you like, wherever you like. Within reason," I added, smirking at him as I saw him take breath.
"Drat, there goes my plans for exhibitionism."
"Uh huh. Dirty old man. I only strip in private, Wills, just so we're clear on that. You can see as much of me as you want, and have as much of me as you want... but nobody else gets anything."
"Tam?"
"Yeah?"
"You'd tell me if I did something you didn't want, right?"
I leaned back into the couch, watched him for a moment.
"Wills," I said softly. "You've only ever done one thing I didn't like, and that was getting yourself knocked out on my behalf. Stretching me out with that delicious organ of yours is a very different thing. A very wonderfully different thing."
I glanced down at his lap. "Speaking of delicious organs... looks like you're recovering a bit."
"Yes, well, being this close to you listening to you talk like this and knowing I'm allowed to touch you is kind of... intoxicating."
"Really?"
"I spent years dreaming of being able to just hold you. So... to be like this with you, well..."
I leaned forward, kissed him gently. "You're such a charmer, William."
"Just being honest, Tim Tam."
I put my wine down on the floor, and turned towards him.
"Well, speaking for myself, I kind of like knowing that I'm allowed to touch too."
I stroked his bulge gently with a finger, with two, amused at the way his body tensed. I felt him harden a bit, and I smiled up at him. "I like how you respond to me."
"Woman of my dreams playing with me. Of course I'm going to respond."
"Woman of your dreams, huh."
"Lots of them. Not all kinky," he hissed, writhing slightly.
"Some day you're going to tell me all about it," I said. "Because it turns me on so much to know that you've wanted me for so long. You can tell me all your dirty little Tammy fantasies, and maybe we'll fulfil some of them... in fact, I'd love to..."
"Are you..."
"Still soaked, still aching, yeah." I pulled up the hem of my sundress and took his hand, lowering it to me and slipping his finger between my lips as I opened myself for him. I let out a hissing sigh as he slowly stroked it along me.
"Christ," he whispered. "You're so slick."
"Uh huh," I breathed. "And to be quite precise, while some of that is due to what you put in me - most of it is just from being here with you, hearing you, wanting you in me..."
I felt him fumble at me, and I opened my legs a bit further, letting him see more of me, feel more of me. He found and circled my clit, and I groaned, sliding lower into the corner of the couch, bending my knees slightly, raising myself a bit for him.
"God you are exquisite," he whispered. "Pink, neat, beautiful."
"I had no idea what I was really like... until that night where I... showed you me. Since then... I've spent lots of time... watching me," I whimpered. "Imagining you watching me as I tease myself for you. Oh, oh Christ Will..."
I felt him tease my entrance with his fingertip, and I closed my eyes as he gently slipped a finger into me. I lay back, let him admire me, let him toy with me a bit, surfing the building wave of want, of need, in me. He was staring at my pussy, transfixed by it, and I loved the power I had over him. But I burned for him, craved more of him than just his finger. I ached for him, needed him sunk deep in me again.
I wanted him to take me, to make me utterly his.
I sat upright and felt for him. I groaned at the way he was swelling. I fumbled at his buttons and managed to undo them. I pulled him free, and paused to stared down at his beautiful penis as it stiffened, against my hand.
"I can't believe we got that in me," I whispered. "Your head is huge, Will."
"Touch it, Tam," he whispered, curling a finger over inside me.
I ground my lips down on his hand as I closed my fingers around his shaft, stroked him up and down. Will stroked his hand down my chin, and then dropped it to my breast. I shrugged a shoulder free and he slipped his fingers inside my bra to squeeze my nipple.
I stared at his cock, at the slight sheen of precum beading the tip, and then lifted myself. I pulled his hand out of me, and then threw my knee over him and walked myself up onto his lap. The hard line of his urethra stood proud from the body of his penis, and I held him in my hands as, shuddering, I slid my slick lips a small distance along him, the little bit of spare attention I possessed amused by the way he ground against me.
Then, unable to wait any longer, I lifted myself and positioned his head against my entrance.
I stared down at him as I gyrated in small circles on him, slicking his head up with us.
"Wills," I breathed.
"Uh huh..."
"I'm going to do you really, really slow so I can get used to you."
"Uh huh..."
"I'm going to slip you into me as deep as I can. Hopefully all the way. And then," I added, as I slowly let myself down on him, "and then... oh God... oh fuck Wills..."
"Tam... oh... fuck... you feel so good..."
"Touch my breasts... oh... oh, Wills, you're so hard in me ..."
He pawed at my back, undid the zip down the back of my sundress, pulled the straps off my shoulders. I reached behind myself and unclipped my bra, groaning as I took more of him into me. Then I arched back as he took a nipple between his lips.
I took the last inch of him - he bottomed out in me, and I convulsed once, twice as my body protested at the intensity of the sensations it was being subjected to.
I leaned forward, panting, and bit his shoulder. "God I hope I never get used to this," I moaned, "I hope it's always this intense when you enter me... oh fuck Wills, fuck it's amazing with you in me."
He kissed down the side of my neck as he pushed me down on him. I felt him throb in me, and I shuddered as my pussy did the same. I lifted myself slowly, then lowered myself again, mouth agape at the delicious way he moved inside me.
"Tamsin," he groaned. "You're amazing on me Your body is amazing on me."
"Keep talking... like that," I whimpered as I lifted and lowered myself again. "Keep worshiping my body, because you are going to wreck me... oh baby, this is so good," I moaned.
I settled into a slow rhythm, and Wills cupped my bum with his hands, helping lift and lower me with each stroke. I could feel every ridge, every vein of his cock as I guided it into and out of me. My leg muscles burned, my stomach was clenching, spasming every time he filled me.
And every stroke built me up a little bit further.
"Wills," I panted. "Wills, I'm going to ride you now."
"Uh huh. Fuck me, Tam, fuck me hard. Ride me stupid..."