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Chapter 127 That Which Was Given Freely
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Naruto had slept through the entire day. His body was sore but not from injury, as he healed by Estus and was untouched by enemy blades. No, it was the exhaustion of the mind; even though he had killed many undead, there was a mental weight to taking so many lives, and so he slept to refresh his thoughts.
Now, with the moon casting a cold silver sheen through the slats of the porch, he sat awake. Not restless. Just… still.
Oscar was not happy about it.
The little crystal lizard hissed, scampering across Naruto's lap and trying to bite his fingers.
"No." Naruto tapped him lightly on the head with two fingers.
Oscar growled. Not a real growl, not one that could scare anything larger than a squirrel. But it carried all the attitude of a beast three times his size.
"I know you're mad I didn't play with you today," Naruto said, scooping the lizard into his arms, "but I was tired."
Oscar looked away with a dramatic snub.
Naruto's voice dropped into a baby-talk tone. "Come on, buddy. I said I was sorry. How about this… I give you a broken straight sword to eat."
Nothing.
"Two broken straight swords?"
Oscar's eyes flicked to him, then deliberately turned away again.
"You little..." Naruto twitched. "Three? You want three?"
Oscar nodded without shame.
"When did you become such a greedy negotiator?" Naruto muttered. "How about I give you none."
Oscar gave him the puppy dog eyes.
…Gah, Akamaru's been teaching you too many tricks, Naruto muttered, pulling out the broken weapons and watching the crystal lizard crunch away with tail-wagging satisfaction. Naruto leaned back into the porch chair. The night was cool, not cold. Somewhere in the distance, waves struck rock. Leaves rustled. It was quiet.
When he was younger, silence like this had terrified him. Silence meant no one was coming. Silence meant he was alone. But now… now it was a sign. A kind of gentle proof that everyone he cared about was safe and asleep inside. That he could finally, if only for a night, breathe.
"I don't think you're on guard duty."
"Nope. That's Kiba's job. Pretty sure Kurenai-sensei stuck him with it after that stunt he pulled."
A light thump behind him, followed by a rustle of cloth and hair. Kakashi landed silently, crouched at the edge of the porch before leaning lazily against the wooden railing.
"You know," Naruto said, "we do have doors."
"Where's the coolness in that?"
Naruto chuckled, rubbing Oscar's smooth back. "Fine. Stay and soak in the peaceful night then. As long as you don't weird up the vibe."
They sat for a long while.
"I told the others that I ordered you to scout Gato's gangs. That everything you did was part of an undercover operation."
Naruto blinked. "You… lied for me?"
"I did." Kakashi pulled out his book but didn't open it. "It was the only thing I could think of. If they knew the truth, how far you went... they'd… They might not trust you."
Naruto looked down at Oscar.
"They live in a village full of killers," he said. "What's one more?"
"It's not the killing," Kakashi said. "It's why you killed. That's what matters."
Naruto looked up. "Sensei, I had a good reason."
Kakashi didn't interrupt, so Naruto kept going.
"I did what I had to. I did what a knight... what I knew I needed to do. Those people weren't soldiers. They weren't warriors. They were parasites, bleeding this place dry. I didn't act for the mission. I acted for the people."
"Naruto," Kakashi said, not looking at the boy. "Do you know the relationship between civilians and shinobi?"
"Uhh… no?"
Kakashi nodded slowly, as if he expected that. He took a moment, tapping the book against his knee, then began to speak.
"Shinobi are weapons. But we're also people. That's the contradiction we live with. We're taught to detach, to kill without hesitation, to value the mission above all else. But even a weapon needs a wielder, and even a killer needs a home."
Naruto stayed quiet.
Kakashi's voice remained calm, steady, but there was a coldness to it. "We serve the village. But the village exists because of the civilians. Every headband, every kunai, every ration you get on a mission? It came from them. Blacksmiths. Farmers. Builders. Traders. They keep us running, and we protect them in return. It's a cycle... interdependent."
"Okay, that makes sense, but..."
"But," Kakashi continued, "then you add the Daimyo to the mix. The real rulers. We might have Kages, but they answer to the feudal lords. The Daimyo control the funding, the trade rights, the legitimacy of our existence. They see the Hidden Villages as private armies, hired blades that protect their interests and borders. If they don't like what we do, they can cut us off. Politically. Financially. Publicly."
Naruto blinked. "...So?"
"What do you think happens if a civilian population, or a Daimyo, starts thinking a shinobi village is unstable? Or dangerous? Or barbaric?"
Naruto's lips parted but no words came out.
"Do you remember what Zabuza said? About the Mist's graduation exam?"
Naruto nodded slowly. "He had to kill his entire class."
"That's right. And after he did that… things changed. Because it wasn't just about the brutality. It was the story of it. The rumors. The image. The world heard that and said: that village breeds monsters. Civilians stopped hiring them. Daimyos cut funding. The economy tanked. They had to change their entire system just to clean up their image."
He leaned in slightly. "Now imagine what happens when you, a twelve-year-old from Konoha, wipes out an entire nation's criminal underworld in one night."
Naruto sat still, processing that.
Kakashi let the silence sit before continuing. "That's why I lied for you. Why I covered your tracks. I couldn't let the Wave or other ninjas trace that massacre back to you or to Konoha. I did it to protect you. And to protect us."
A pause.
Naruto nodded. "Thanks for everything, Sensei."
Kakashi exhaled. "Just… learn from it. Next time, plan. Come to me. We'll figure it out together."
"I will," Naruto said with a lopsided smile. "Maybe I should start taking this whole ninja thing a bit more seriously."
Kakashi gave a chuckle until the next part hit him like a kunai to the back.
"No, I mean it," Naruto added casually. "Up until now, I've really just treated being a shinobi like a… side hobby."
Kakashi froze. "WHAT?!"
"Yeah," Naruto said, shrugging. "I mean, I only became a ninja because I wanted to be Hokage. But after that dream died, I didn't really have a reason to keep at it. I just stayed because of Iruka-sensei… and you… and because I'd already come so far. It felt wrong to quit. But, yeah, I've mostly thought of it as a hobby."
Kakashi stared at him. Absolutely stared.
It wasn't even the words themselves, it was how easily, how lightly, Naruto had said them. Like it wasn't a bombshell. Like it wasn't a fundamental rejection of everything Kakashi thought he knew about this boy.
Side hobby.
Kakashi's thoughts spiraled. What did that say about Naruto's sense of duty? About the Will of Fire? The legacy of the village? The sacred pride of shinobihood? Had it all meant nothing to him? And what was so great about being a knight? That was the question haunting Kakashi as he stared at the boy beside him. A boy who had once shouted his dreams of becoming Hokage to the heavens with his whole chest now talking about ninja life like it was a weekend craft project.
Kakashi's fingers curled tightly around his little orange book, not out of anger but quiet dissonance. He had seen countless shinobi lose themselves to war, ambition, loss but this was different. This was rejection. A soft, smiling dismissal of the entire system that had raised him.
Naruto hadn't lost faith in Konoha. He'd simply… outgrown it.
And the seed that started that?
One name had echoed in Kakashi's mind from the moment Naruto put on that battered foreign armor and named his lizard.
Oscar.
"Hey, Naruto," Kakashi asked, feigning the tone of casual interest even though his throat was tight. "Can I ask you something?"
"Yeah."
"What does Oscar mean to you?"
A flash of confusion passed through Naruto's eyes. He reached up and poked the fat, glinting lizard curled lazily on his shoulder.
"You mean this little guy? He's my buddy, obviously."
"No," Kakashi said, the faintest note of insistence slipping through. "Not the lizard. I mean the man. Oscar of Astora. The one you named him after. Why does he mean so much to you?"
Naruto didn't respond right away.
His expression didn't twist, didn't contort. It simply… fell still.
Kakashi recognized that stillness. It wasn't fear. It wasn't shame. It was armor. The kind you put on when someone brushed too close to an old scar. Naruto turned to the window, his silhouette etched against the pale moonlight. The shadows clung to the curve of his jaw, the slope of his shoulders.
"You always ask such heavy stuff at night, y'know that?" he murmured, like it was a joke. But there was no laugh behind it.
Kakashi didn't press. He simply waited.
Naruto breathed in, deep and slow, and when he spoke again, it was without pretense. "Oscar was my master," he said. "But I didn't know him that well. Not really. Not in the way you know your sensei. He found me when I was… lost."
Kakashi turned his head slightly, watching the way Naruto's fingers drummed rhythmically on the porch rail.
"He gave me a sword before he gave me a name," Naruto said. "Taught me how to stand, how to breathe, how to move. But more than that, he looked at me and didn't see a brat, didn't see a burden. He just… saw a boy who needed help. And he helped me."
"That's all?"
"No," Naruto whispered.
Silence pressed between them. The only sound was the gentle chirping of the forest outside and Oscar the lizard's low purr against Naruto's shoulder.
Naruto closed his eyes, voice dipping quieter.
"You know, for years, I pulled pranks because I wanted attention. I wanted people to notice me, to see me as someone."
Naruto's voice wasn't bitter. It wasn't angry. It was… quiet. Reflective. Like he was remembering someone else's life and realizing it had always been his.
"When Iruka-sensei became my friend, I thought… I earned that. I saved him, I worked for it. I thought that was the only way it worked. You prove yourself, then people care. You risk your life, then maybe someone sees you. And I was okay with that. I was used to that."
He paused, his gaze fixed on the moonlight stretching across the floor, as if the answer to something unspoken was hiding in the shadows.
"But with Oscar…" he said. "It was different."
There was a raw vulnerability in the way he said that name.
"I didn't do anything to deserve it. He just… treated me like I mattered. Like I was worth something from the start."
Naruto lifted a hand to his face, brushing at his eyes. Oscar the lizard let out a soft trill, crawling closer along his face and giving him a gentle boop, like a comfort kiss.
"I didn't know what to do with that," Naruto whispered. "At first, I thought it was a trick. Some test I didn't understand. I was always waiting for the moment he'd turn and say, 'I was wrong. You're not worth the time.' But he never did. Even when I messed up. Even when I panicked or froze."
The words spilled out now, not in a rush, but in steady waves.
"He died trying to protect me. Not because I asked him to. Not because he had to. But because he chose to. And he left me with so much: his armor, his sword, his ideals. But the thing he left me with most..."
Naruto's voice cracked.
"...was the question."
He looked up at Kakashi, not defiant, not broken. Just a boy... trying his best to understand.
"Do I deserve it? That's what I ask myself. Do I deserve the kindness? The respect? The legacy he gave me? Every day, I try to do something... anything that makes me feel like I've earned it. Like maybe if I swing my sword hard enough, or fight just one more time for someone else… maybe I'll stop feeling like an imposter in his armor."
He gently picked Oscar up and rested the small lizard on his lap.
"What does Oscar mean to me?" Naruto echoed, his voice almost a murmur now. "He's everything. My sensei. My friend. The man who pulled me out of a grave I didn't know I'd fallen into."
He gave a brittle laugh that faded before it ever became real.
"He's… the reason I'm still standing."
The room hung heavy with silence.
Kakashi hadn't moved. He hadn't spoken. The book was long forgotten in his hand.
And yet he understood. More than words could say, he understood. Because he too knew what it meant to live in someone else's shadow. To try and make your life worthy of the people who gave theirs for you. To wear their legacy like armor and sometimes, like a chain.
"I think I'm gonna head to bed," Naruto said softly. "You should too, sensei."
And just like that, he was gone, padding quietly up the stairs, vanishing into the silence of the house.
Kakashi remained on the porch, staring into the moonlit night.
Naruto's words echoed in his chest like a wind chime in a storm.
Kindness… without having to earn it.
How starved had the boy been that something so basic had become sacred? And now, Oscar was gone. A brief light in a dark world, and Naruto had clung to that light like a lifeline. That armor he wore… it wasn't just metal and leather.
It was grief. It was love. It was purpose.
Just like a shinobi wore their forehead protector to declare their loyalty, Naruto wore his armor to declare who he was: the squire of a man who had treated him like he mattered.
Kakashi thought back to their first meeting. "I'm Naruto Uzumaki, Squire of Oscar of Astora." Now, sitting alone beneath the stars, Kakashi finally understood the weight of that title. And maybe, he began to understand the boy who wore it.
"I hope we can give you a reason to stay, Naruto," he whispered into the night. "A reason to say… I'm Naruto Uzumaki. Shinobi of Konoha."
But even as he said it, he wasn't sure if that would ever be enough.
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[ Personal Note: First off, thanks a ton to all of you for sticking with this story. Seriously, you guys are awesome. Now, if you're interested in supporting me on P@treon, let me just say that over there, I post these massive 5k-word chapters. But heads up, if you're jumping to P@treon, you'll need to start from Chapter 60, since that's where this chapter lines up with the content there.
To everyone here just reading along, please don't forget to leave a comment! Honestly, your comments make my day, and they let me know you're as invested in this story as I am. So yeah, thanks again, and I hope you have an amazing rest of your day!