I sat on the bed and stared at the wall after being rejected. Why did we have to sleep separately? I wanted to cuddle. Why was he setting physical boundaries like these thick walls?
I lied down and sighed. Sometimes I just couldn't understand him. He was clingy before but now he wanted space. What was I supposed to do with my overflowing love that I wanted to show through cuddles? It had been a few days already since he started living with me and every night, it was the same routine- me getting rejected for cuddles and sent back to my own room.
And the police hadn't been able to trace that bastard yet. I wonder if they were even doing their job properly. But well, I should trust Jeremy's uncle. Ugh. Just the thought of Piere's face made me want to punch him. Where was he hiding?
My phone rang, startling me. I picked it up.
"Mama?" I greeted.
"Son. Were you asleep?"
"Not yet. Why? What's up?"
She laughed. "It's nothing. It's just I haven't called you for so long. How are you?"
I bit my lips. There was so much going on. "I am good. How are you?"
"I am doing good too. Kristen said you have a friend who is staying over at your place. Is he a colleague?"
Crap! "Uh...yeah, he is uh...our school's doctor."
"Ah...I see. Why is he staying with you?"
"Um...actually, his landowner is refurnishing their building so the residents were asked to shift for a few days." I lied.
"Oh I see. I thought since it's a long vacation, you could come home for your birthday."
"Well...I will see. I just can't leave my friend here alone."
"Bring him over too. It would be nice to meet your colleague."
My mouth was hung open. Would it be a good idea? But one or the other day, I needed to come out to my parents? But would they accept me if I came out to them? Would they feel disgusted and start thinking me as a disgrace to the family?
"Son?"
"Oh?"
"Come on, it's not something to think about so hard. You can definitely bring your friend over."
"Okay, I will ask him first."
"Good. Do let me know."
"Okay."
"Goodnight."
"Goodnight." I hanged up, deep in thought.
I had just realized that one day I would have to tell my parents.
I knocked on the door, hoping that he hadn't slept yet. He opened the door. The table light was on and there was a book on the bed.
"Hi." I smiled, leaning on the door frame. Every time I looked at him, I felt happy.
"Hi. What happened?"
"Nothing. Wanna go for a long drive?" I asked, looking into his eyes.
His eyes widened. "At this hour?"
I squared my shoulders, smiling.
He grinned broadly. "Sure. Let me grab my coat."
The road was free with a few cars only. It was already mid night. I liked long drives, especially at night. And sudden plans always had more enjoyments. I turned to glance at him on the passenger seat, munching on late night snacks- some crackers. I couldn't help but smile fondly.
"I like long drives. Thank god it's not snowing tonight." He said, staring ahead at the road.
I nodded in agreement. "What else do you like?"
He turned his head sharply to look at me in surprise. "Um...now that you have asked, I can't really remember."
I laughed. "Yeah, happens. I do remember a little what you liked six years ago but tastes changes you see."
He smiled. "So does that mean you like sweet things now?"
I grimaced. "Not at all. I can never like sweet stuffs. What about you? You don't like sweet things anymore?" I smirked.
"Well, that's never going to change. I still love sweet things." He smiled smugly.
I shook my head with a smile. "So...what else hasn't changed? Do you still like me?" I stared ahead as I asked that.
I could feel his shocked stare on my face. "I...you...you still haven't realized?"
I frowned. "What?"
"Oh god. Of course I do, you silly. Or else I wouldn't be in this car with you right now."
I nodded. Then what could be the reason he was rejecting me and setting boundaries?
I turned to smile at him.
"Y-you? Do you?" He asked hesitantly.
"I like you too." I smiled and watched as his cheeks turned red.
We drove around in silence, not the awkward one. Silence was never awkward for us. I was still in my own thoughts, wondering about the future. We weren't those young boys anymore. Now we had responsibilities and a lot to worry about. I still had to come out to my family. Just the thought of coming out made my chest heavy. Six years back I had thought about it already and I was filled with courage that I could do it but now, I felt fearful. What if I lost my family? What if they feel disgusted by the fact that their only son liked guys? Kao lost his family too. It had been six years already and they hadn't cared to look for their son. What if it happen to me?
"Is everything alright?"
I turned to look at him watching me in concern. "Oh, yeah...everything's alright." I stared ahead at the road.
"Are you sure? You can speak your mind to me, you know."
I smiled. "Nothing really."
He let out a sigh.
I didn't want to upset him with my thoughts anyway. "My mother called earlier. She wants me to visit home. She said I could take you along. Do you wanna go with me?" I asked.
"Wow."
"What?"
"Woah, that's kinda unexpected. You told your mother about me?"
"Kristen did. If you don't mind, we can go together only for a few days."
"I...I would love that." he smiled softly.
I smiled back. He seemed happy.
"So you still won't let me sleep with you?" I asked, both standing at his door to part ways. I prepared to be rejected.
He smiled in amusement. "You won't give up, will you?"
I shook my head.
He sighed. "Okay, but only for tonight."
"Really?" I asked in surprise.
He nodded.
I didn't waste any time and rushed in to jump on the bed. I pulled the blanket over me and patted the space beside me for him to join.
He chuckled and got on bed. I quickly pulled him to me, wrapping myself around him like a parasite.
"Gosh, let me read my book for sometime." He said.
"No. It's time to sleep."
"Please? It's just another few pages and the story will end."
I shook my head with a pout.
He sighed. "You are one big baby."
"Let me at least turn the table light off."
I tightened my hold on him. "No, let it be. I am comfortable right now."
He chuckled. "You can't sleep with the lights on, Kwan." He shifted to turn to face me. "You are still the big baby, aren't you?"
I wrapped my arms around his waist. "Yes, your big baby." I grinned sheepishly.
He blushed and reached to touch my cheek. I looked into his eyes. Something about his eyes always amazed me. The dark brown eyes were deep, always twinkling when he would smile and would speak a thousand emotion. My heart clenched, knowing he had been through a lot. His innocent soul had suffered a lot and yet he still stood strong. I wish fate had a change of course and all that happened six years ago wouldn't have happened. He would still be the happy-go-lucky person he had been. He wouldn't have had to suffer a lot. I could have held his hand and be there when things went wrong with his family. It wouldn't have been so hard for him then. He wouldn't have had to go to his best friend. He wouldn't have met Piere. Things would have been better and we could have been happier.
"You are so beautiful. Always charming huh?" He teased, smiling shyly.
"You are more beautiful." I whispered and leaned forward to peck his lips.
He smiled.
I pecked his lips again, my heart racing. I touched my forehead to his, closing my eyes. His hand traveled to my neck, tilting my head up to touch his soft lips to mine. I kissed him gently, all my sensations completely getting lost. My head filled with his scent and I could only focus on him. My heart was hammering against my chest as I devoured him. I wanted more and I could feel he wanted the same thing. I sat up, pulling him along and never breaking the kiss. I opened my cardigan and threw it somewhere. He rested his hands on my shoulders as I slipped my hand in his sweat shirt, exploring his back. I leaned back, making him sit on my lap with his legs around my body. The hardness between our legs screamed how much we wanted each other. Just as I started to pull his sweat shirt, he broke the kiss and looked at me.
"C-can we turn the light off please?" He asked.
I nodded in daze.
He quickly turned the light off and was back on my lap. The darkness added extra feeling to the atmosphere. I pulled his sweat shirt off first then took mine off. I lay him on the bed and nibbled on the nape of his neck and earlobe. His soft moans against the back of his throat was intoxicating. I got rid of our trousers and boxers and got back to kiss him. I tried to be as gentle as I could.
"This will hurt a little." I whispered as I positioned myself.
He nodded, holding onto my shoulders. He held his breath and leaned his head back, squeezing his eyes in pain. I placed a tender kiss on his forehead.