Disclaimer: I own nothing, this is purely a fanfic for enjoyment.
Cross-over from various games, books, anime, manga, and movies.
The familiar characters you see here belong to their respected authors and owners.
"Speech"
Arc 6: Drama In Life - Chapter 7
It's been a week since Elizabeth and Paimon joined, and I've got to say—being in the Land of Ooo is something else.
"Paimon made the BEST pie ever—and it's made out of snow!" Paimon shouted, spinning midair like a little winter tornado, arms flung wide in triumph. As she landed, she held up a slightly wobbly, vaguely pie-shaped mound of snow she'd smushed together with her hands. "Ta-daa~! Look! Isn't it beautiful? It's a masterpiece! A chilly, frosty, yummy-looking masterpiece!" She burst into joyful laughter, cheeks flushed from the cold and her own excitement. "Paimon is a culinary genius!"
Elizabeth stood tall, chin lifted with some sort of pride. "That you may be." She declared. "But I bet my snowy cake is better!" With a dramatic sweep of her arm, she revealed the towering creation behind her, glittering layers of snow and tightly packed ice stacked like some frosty architectural marvel. "And everyone knows cake is better than pie." She added smugly.
Off to the side, Shirahoshi knelt down carefully, her long pink hair pooling around her as she focused intently on her task. With delicate fingers, she shaped a tiny snowman, no taller than a seashell compared to her current, reduced size. "Ehehe… It's so small and cute." She whispered with a bubbly giggle, her breath puffing soft clouds in the chilly air. "I hope he doesn't get lonely out here…" She added, gently patting a miniature snow hat on its head. Her expression was full of childlike joy—a warm, glowing contrast to the cold all around her.
Yup. The Land of Ooo is something else, alright.
I raise an eyebrow as I spot the Ice King soaring through the sky with Princess Bubblegum in his arms, cackling deviously.
The Ice King is a blue-skinned, elderly man with unnaturally pointy fingers and toes, sharp teeth, and a long, goblin-like nose. He wears a dark blue tunic, and his lengthy white beard flows down past his waist, covering most of his body like a cold curtain. Perched atop his head is his iconic golden crown—three jagged points tipped with blood-red rubies. A magical artifact, the crown grants him dominion over ice and snow, as well as the unnatural ability to survive far beyond a normal lifespan. Yet, for all its power, it doesn't make him truly immortal. He could still die—just... not from aging.
Not too far off, I spot Finn and Jake running and chasing after the Ice King.
"Hey, fart-face!" Finn shouted at the Ice King, loud enough to cut through the wind and catch the girls' attention.
"Huh?" Ice King responded as he landed on the snowy ground not too far away from the rest of us, blinking in genuine confusion, as if Fart-Face were his real name and he'd just heard it for the first time in years.
Odd as that sounds...
"Hmm… but Blue Man doesn't look like he has a fart for a face, though?" Paimon tilted her head, brows furrowed in very serious confusion. She squinted up at him like she was trying to spot an invisible gas cloud. "Paimon's pretty sure farty-face should look different!"
"I think that was an insult." Elizabeth replied, her own eyes narrowing slightly as if mentally replaying the words. Then she just shrugged, the motion casual, almost careless—like the weight of someone else's opinion couldn't quite stick to her anymore. "...But eh."
Shirahoshi hummed a gentle tune as she returned to her tiny snowman, her smile soft and peaceful. The air was crisp, but not cold enough to bother her. She crouched low again, fingertips brushing the snow with the same tenderness she once reserved for sea creatures back home. "I think I'll give him a little scarf next~" She murmured dreamily, utterly at peace in the moment.
For once, there was no need to glance around nervously—no danger, no raised voices, no looming strangers: just quiet, and snow, and her own little corner of calm.
Her soft giggles mingled with the breeze as she carefully shaped the snowman's arms. "You're going to have lots of friends soon, okay?" Shirahoshi whispered sweetly, her heart completely at ease.
"Unhand Princess Bubblegum!" Finn shouted at the Ice King once more, his voice full of righteous fury.
"Fools!" Ice King bellowed, firing a blast of Ice Magic at Finn. The beam missed, instead striking the grassy ground in front of him, where it quickly froze, forming a slick patch of ice and a sharp little icicle spike.
"Whoa!" Finn stepped back just in time, then hastily gathered some snow in his hands, forming a snowball with practiced speed. Without missing a beat, he hurled it at the Ice King.
"Ee hee hee hee—OOH!" Ice King yelped in pain as the snowball slammed into his face. "MY EYESIGHT!" He howled, flailing around in an exaggerated panic, rubbing his eyes with his free hand.
Meanwhile, Jake, ever the shape-shifter, grinned mischievously. He contorted his body, shifting his rear into Princess Bubblegum's shape. Finn, quickly spotting the opportunity, placed two rocks on it, mimicking her eyes. With an exaggerated stretch, Jake extended his lower body and swapped it out, replacing the princess with his rear end before Ice King had the chance to notice.
Princess Bubblegum let out a soft, confused noise, her brow furrowing briefly before she giggled quietly, realizing what was about to unfold.
"Hey! Ice King! I bet you'll never kiss the princess!" Finn shouted, his tone teasing as he grinned.
"I will kiss her! I will—GAH!" Ice King yelped as a swift kick to the back sent him sprawling face-first into the snow, his golden crown flying off and landing neatly in my hand.
"Why did Creepy Face kick Fart Face away?" Paimon blinked at me, her tiny eyes wide with genuine curiosity as she floated closer, her gaze flicking between me and the face-down Ice King. "Did Fart Face do something wrong? Or was it just, like, a random kick?" She added, her voice taking on a prying tone as she tilted her head, clearly trying to make sense of it all.
Princess Bubblegum let out a startled gulp, her eyes now locking onto our group for the first time, a realization dawning on her as she noticed our presence.
Elizabeth's eyes widened, a gleam of genuine wonder dancing in her gaze as she leaned forward, almost eagerly. "OOOH!" She exclaimed, her voice filled with sudden excitement. "Can I see it?"
Her stare locked onto the crown in my hand, the weight of her curiosity is hard not to notice. She was like a child with a new toy—fascinated and unable to look away.
Shirahoshi, for her part, continued in her own little world, her smile soft and content. It was clear she hadn't noticed the commotion, and frankly, I wasn't about to interrupt her peaceful moment.
"Alright." I began, my tone calm and dull. "I know I said it before—Princess Shirahoshi and her friends are here to enjoy some fun time in your Ice Kingdom, Ice King. But I don't want you to interrupt their good time. In exchange, I'll make sure no one enters your kingdom during our stay without your permission."
I glanced over at Elizabeth.
"You can hold it, but don't wear it. At all." With that, I handed the crown to her.
Ice King's body trembled—not from the icy cold of his own domain, but from something far more primal. He whipped around to face me as he sat in the snow, hands raised slightly in panic. "Wa–wait a second!" He stammered. "I didn't try to stop your fun time or anything! I didn't mean to ruin anything!" He scrambled backward, not even trying to take his crown back from Elizabeth. He looked too rattled to think straight.
I raised an eyebrow at him, then turned my attention to Princess Bubblegum. She offered a nervous little wave, her expression awkward but not unfriendly.
Then I looked over to Finn and Jake.
Jake, ever the dramatic one, fainted outright. His body sagged and flopped back into its original shape with a soft plop.
Finn, meanwhile, puffed up his chest and tried to look tough—his expression a poor attempt at bravado as he glared back at me, trying to keep cool.
"But Fart Face! You did interrupt our fun time!" Paimon huffed, puffing out her cheeks like an angry little balloon. With her hands firmly on her hips, she floated in front of the Ice King, delivering the most intense disappointed glare her tiny face could muster. "Paimon was having a great time, and then you just had to show up with your chilly drama!"
"I swear I didn't mean to!" Ice King cried, flailing dramatically as he dropped to his knees and pressed his face into the snow before Paimon in a panicked bow.
Elizabeth held the crown delicately, her fingers tracing its rim with a mix of fascination and careful reverence. Tilting it toward the light, she squinted, thoughtful. "I wonder…" She muttered. "Can the crown change size depending on who wears it?" She gave it a gentle poke, as if expecting some mechanical click or magical spark in response. "Or maybe… it just chooses who fits." She added, half to herself, half daring the artifact to answer.
I sighed, stepping forward and taking the crown from her hands. Elizabeth pouted a little but didn't argue, her eyes still watching the magical artifact with burning curiosity.
I walked over to the Ice King and casually tossed the crown to him. It landed squarely on his head.
"Alright. Just go away." I said flatly. "I'll handle these three."
Ice King didn't waste a second. With a startled squawk and a blur of blue robes, he took off flying back to his ice castle, vanishing into the cold horizon.
"Now that he's out of the way..." I turned toward the trio, my tone sharp and unimpressed. "What is with you three and the Ice King? Seriously. I think I counted five times this week..." I pointed at Princess Bubblegum. "That you have been kidnapped by the Ice King. Then these two—" I jabbed a finger toward Finn, who was still glaring at me, and Jake, still unconscious in the snow. "Come charging in for the rescue. Do you have some sort of sick pleasure in getting kidnapped, or what?"
Princess Bubblegum stared at me, completely aghast. Her jaw dropped, but no words came out.
"Hey, man!" Finn snapped, stepping forward. "It's not like PB asked to be kidnapped!"
"Sure." I nodded slowly. "Anyway, I'm just going to let Princess Shirahoshi enjoy herself. Same with Elizabeth and Paimon. I'd like one peaceful outing."
"We'll just… let you guys to it, then!" Princess Bubblegum blurted, suddenly all too eager to get moving. She shoved Finn out of the way with surprising speed and grabbed Jake by the leg, dragging his stretchy body behind her like a limp rug as she retreated.
"Yeah, three snowmen!" Shirahoshi cheered, clapping her hands together with sheer excitement. Her voice rang through the frosty air, drawing everyone's attention. Her face lit up with pure delight as she beamed proudly at her little creations, each lined up neatly in a row—one with a lopsided hat, another with a crooked smile, and the third with a too-tall twig arm. "Aren't they adorable?" She asked, glancing between her snowmen and the others, her eyes practically twinkling. "I gave them names, too! Do you want to know them?"
Her happiness was infectious, glowing brighter than the snow around her.
Paimon and Elizabeth, suddenly reminded of their previous debate, then quickly bickered once again over whether snowy pie or icy cake reigned supreme.
"Sure, Shirahoshi." I replied, choosing to ignore the two dessert combatants for now. Let them argue. This moment with Shirahoshi was worth savoring.
We stayed a little longer in the Ice Kingdom, letting the cold drift around us like a gentle lullaby as the snow continued to fall.