... "WAIT, WHAT!!?!?"
Dadan's roar wasn't just loud, it was a physical force! It hit me like a punch to my tiny, newborn chest! Her face, framed by that wild orange hair, was contorted in pure, unadulterated rage! Veins popped on her forehead like angry worms! She looked less like a woman and more like a startled, oversized badger ready to maul something!
Her hand shot out, trying to shove Garp and the baby back out the door! "WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'TAKE CARE OF HER'?! ARE YOU INSANE, GARP?! I'M A MOUNTAIN BANDIT! I LIVE UP HERE! I STEAL! I DON'T BABYSIT! AND ESPECIALLY NOT... NOT...!" Her eyes, wide and terrified, darted from me to Garp's face. She knew! She knew whose child I was! The fear underlying the rage was palpable!
My tiny body was jostled as Garp effortlessly dodged her attempts to return me. He just stood there, grinning his usual oblivious, half-maniacal grin, holding me out like I was a loaf of bread he needed her to hold for a second!
Oh, this is rich, my adult brain thought, a dark chuckle bubbling up internally. Dadan! The mountain bandit queen! Yeah, I remember her! Roger's kid being left with her... classic Garp! Totally irresponsible! Also... terrifying! She looks like she could crush my skull with one hand!
"GAHAHAHAHAHA!" Garp laughed, the sound booming through the quiet mountain air. He ignored Dadan's sputtering fury. "Just take her, Dadan! She needs a place to stay! It's a long story! A complicated one!"
"A 'COMPLICATED ONE'?! YOU THINK GIVING ME A BABY – A BABY OF ALL THINGS! – IS A 'COMPLICATED STORY'?! WHAT ABOUT THE WORLD GOVERNMENT?! WHAT ABOUT THE MARINES?! IF THEY FIND OUT I'M HARBORING—!" Dadan shrieked, her voice cracking with panic.
"Relax, relax! Nobody knows!" Garp waved a dismissive hand, as if this were a minor inconvenience. "Except for a trusted few! And me, of course! She's just... well, Ann now! Daughter of... uh... well, the important thing is she's YOUR responsibility now! Don't worry about the details!"
"DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE DETAILS?! GARP, YOU OLD FOOL! YOU'RE HANDING ME A DEATH SENTENCE! A BOMB! THIS IS WORSE THAN ANY CRIMINAL YOU'VE EVER CHASED!" Dadan screeched, grabbing at her hair. The other bandits, Dogra and Magra, poked their heads out from behind her, eyes wide as saucers, gulping audibly.
"Now, now, Dadan. Don't be difficult," Garp said, his voice hardening slightly, though the grin remained. He leaned in, lowering his voice just enough that even Dadan seemed to shrink a fraction. "You owe me, remember? A lot. And I don't think you want to see what happens if I decide you haven't paid up, do you?"
He patted her cheek, not gently, then pushed me into her arms before she could fully react. "There! See? Not so hard! Just like taking care of Ace! She's a good kid! Probably!"
My tiny body was transferred from Garp's familiar, albeit rough, hold to Dadan's surprisingly strong, but trembling, arms. Up close, her face was a mask of sheer terror and indignation. She held me gingerly, as if I might explode.
Ace? He mentioned Ace... So Ace was here too? Before me? And she took care of him? Good. Good, that means she CAN do it, even if she's freaking out right now. My mind, enhanced by the wish, was already analyzing her reaction, filing away the information. She's rough, loud, easily panicked by Garp, but ultimately... capable of taking care of a child, even one she clearly feels is a massive, life-threatening burden.
Dadan stared at me, her lower lip trembling with a mixture of rage and despair. I stared back, my large baby eyes probably looking completely innocent. Inside, though, I was a whirlwind of calculation. Okay, Dadan. You're loud, you're rough, you're probably gonna be a nightmare to live with, but you're the best I've got right now. The World Government hunts Roger's lineage. Being hidden here with you... a notorious mountain bandit... it's ironically one of the safest places to start.
"GAHAHAHA! Alright, I'm off!" Garp clapped Dadan on the shoulder – a blow that made her stagger – then turned and began walking away, whistling cheerfully. "Don't do anything stupid, Dadan! And make sure she gets strong! Like her old man! GAHAHAHA!"
He walked off without another backward glance, disappearing back down the mountain path as if he'd just dropped off a package of flour, not the world's most wanted infant.
Dadan stood frozen in the doorway, clutching me awkwardly. Her eyes were wide, staring at the spot where Garp had vanished. Dogra and Magra cautiously approached.
"Uh... Boss...?" Magra whispered.
Dadan slowly lowered her head, looking at me again. Her face crumpled. She looked utterly defeated. And then, she let out a wail that was less angry and more... pathetic.
"WHYYYYY?! WHY ME?! I'M A BANDIT! I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT RAISING KIDS! AND THIS ONE... THIS ONE IS...!" She trailed off, looking like she might cry, or maybe throw me off the mountain. I gave a little baby coo, just to test the waters. She flinched.
"Boss, what do we do...?" Dogra asked, peering nervously at me.
Dadan sighed, a long, ragged sound. She shuffled back inside, the small, rustic house smelling of wood smoke, dirt, and maybe a hint of stale booze. The interior was exactly as I expected – rough, lived-in, cluttered. Not exactly a nursery.
Right. This is home now.
Dadan sat down heavily on a worn-out chair, still holding me at arm's length. She eyed me suspiciously. I looked back, trying to channel my adult brain's focus into my baby eyes. Come on, Dadan. I'm just a baby. A really important, potentially world-changing baby, but a baby nonetheless.
Dogra and Magra hovered nervously. "She looks... quiet," Magra offered.
"Quiet?! For now!" Dadan snapped, though her voice was softer than before. "You never know with these... 'D'... brats! Ace was a terror!" She shuddered at the memory.
My mind raced again. Ace was here. He was a terror. Good to know my big brother (or maybe half-brother, details fuzzy) set a precedent. I should probably try not to be a complete handful... at first. Gotta conserve energy for training.
Training! Right! I had powers! Incredible, growth-on-demand powers! And super-fast healing! And a brain that could learn anything! But... how do I train as a baby?! Flexing my tiny fingers? Trying to lift my head? This is going to be... humbling.
Dadan groaned. "Alright, alright! Fine! Garp left her here, she's here! What are we gonna do?! We need... baby stuff! Milk! Diapers! How do you even... change one of these?!" She looked utterly lost.
Dogra and Magra exchanged nervous glances. "We could... go get some...?" Dogra suggested timidly.
"GO THEN! DON'T JUST STAND THERE!" Dadan roared, some of her bandit fire returning now that Garp was gone. "And don't tell anyone anything!"
As the two subordinate bandits scrambled out, Dadan was left alone with me. She still held me, awkwardly, her earlier terror giving way to annoyance and exasperation. She sighed again, a puff of air that smelled faintly of tobacco.
She looked at me one more time, her eyes softening just a fraction. "Ann, huh? Gol D. Ann..." She shook her head. "What a mess..."
She finally held me a little closer, awkwardly patting my back. The movement was clumsy, but... it was care. Rough, grudging, terrified care.
This is it, I thought, nestled against her surprisingly solid chest. The scent of the forest and something wild enveloped me. The start of my life in the world of One Piece. Reborn as the Pirate King's daughter, left with a mountain bandit, with secret powers and three wishes. It's utterly ridiculous. It's terrifying. And it's the most exciting thing that's ever happened to me.
My wishes. My training. My future. It all starts here. High in the mountains, under the dubious protection of the Dadan Family.
Time to survive. Time to get strong. Time to live a life that isn't boring.
This... this is home now.