Chapter 1 - wish you were gay

A/N: This is a snippet take for Billie's "wish u were gay", through her lyrics, i wrote a befitting scenario from my own take. Short novels like these are meant to be read along with music (https://youtu.be/lryoNQXm-Xo) (or not). happy reading!

𝘝𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘦 𝘐 - 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘢𝘵 𝘮𝘦.
"Stella, I'm tired. Can we stop?" His voice trembled as he spoke. No. I don't want to.

"You know i love you." I know you love me too. So, why don't you say it back?
"Ah, Do you still want to go to New Zealand this month? I'll book us a flight so—"
"—I'm Going on a business trip Tomorrow. I won't be back until the end of the month."
Did you forget? Today's our anniversary. I purposely chose the date carefully to be both even numbers, so that you wouldn't forget. And that pair of numbers were our lucky numbers.

"where are you going?" without receiving a response, the door shut followed shortly after heavy footsteps.
I just wanted you to look at me. Did i ask for too much? Is that so hard to grant?
I've grown tired too. I'm tired of chasing you. It's humiliating, but for you, I stayed. Why is it that i refuse to leave you? ..Right, I have my own pride to keep too.


Verse II - 𝘊𝘭𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘺
I am Stella Hashil, The woman who never backs down to anything that comes her way.
But it took one guy. One guy who acted like he was doing me a favor by dating me. It took just one guy, for me to realize I wasn't on my high-horse anymore.
He wasn't interested in me, nor indulged in the topic of 'love.' And, The worse part was that i was head over heels for him.
He better not tell me that he just accepted my proposal only because he felt his hero instincts kick in. I can't accept that. Because I am not a princess who needed saving from my nonexistent love life.
Yes, he was crude. But wasn't i the one who started, and wanted this from the very start?

"So? any progress?" The sound of clinking and liquid pouring felt calming. "Unfortunately." I scoffed at my own answer.
This was the limit. And just how far it could go.
"Well, i heard something pretty interesting. Care to lend an ear?" My friend, Dianne leaned closer to me whilst holding up her glass to look at me through it.
"This Cleo girl and Ian are a really good match, don't you see?" It didn't take long for me to clear my head, and i understood what she meant.

It wasn't me that she was looking at through the glass.

I glanced to my side only to be greeted by the sight of my fiancé holding a girl by her waist, and intimately at that.
why? what's so good about her that makes you look at her so affectionately?

Verse III - 𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘫𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘰𝘶𝘴𝘺?
I squinted my eyes to see who she meant by Cleo, And i did not expect seeing my own cousin's face so close to my fiancé's.

Is this the moment where the fiancé feels her blood boiling after seeing her partner at a bar with another woman?
Because i don't feel it at all.
"Tsk! A two-timing soon-to-be groom and an aspiring homewrecker? What a match!"
I almost forgot that Dianne was beside me, I should've been reminded just how loud she was before she basically announced that we were present.
"Dia! shut your mouth, what're you doing?!" Oh dear lord, If you're hearing this, Please pray for my sins, and thou shall be forgiven. for I'll be adding a new one tonight.

"Aren't you tired of this roleplay that started ages ago stel?"
Right, Thanks for wrapping up my spoilt script. This is my last, and good chance to break free from the chains on my heart. Even if i still have a teeny bit of lingering feelings, i doubt it'd make up for the time I've lost because of my love for you.

Verse IV - "𝘐𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘦𝘦'𝘴 𝘢 𝘤𝘳𝘰𝘸𝘥 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘸𝘰 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘶𝘴, 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘴𝘭𝘪𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘥 𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘺."
I got up from my seat after downing an entire glass of beer. Then I approached the pair of figures while my thoughts slowly dissipated into thin air, The next thing i knew; I was marching towards them ever so shamelessly.
But why am i the one who feels regretful? I shouldn't be. After all, I'm the one who's supposed to be sympathized. What would've happened if it wasn't tonight that i discovered about his adulterous act? And i was marrying him? Damn.


"Aah, so this was where you were going?" My eyeballs moving to scan my surroundings. He was here, at a bar—"with a companion too, i see." At this point, I know we were probably drawing a shit ton of unwanted attention. I mean, This climactic moment is called a fuss in real life, isn't it?
I stared at the girl who looked so damn pitiful that i almost had trouble holding my laughter,

Her? THAT Cleome? I refuse to believe in utter BS. She is a woman capable of stealing someone's boyfriend, I wouldn't be surprised if she picks up hand-me-downs too.




Verse V - If i can't have you, Then no one else can.
:"well—aren't you just a bitch?" I scoffed at this very woman standing infront of me while holding my fiancé's hand. wiping the tears of from the corner my eyes, I couldn't help but let out a small laugh this time, This was a painfully entertaining show.
Ian pulled cleo away and Caressed her cheeks,
"Are you having fun?" He turned to me and gave me this nasty glare i ever received in my whole life. he had no right to be the first person to ever give me that.
"Quite alot actually. Thanks for asking." I clapped at his shamelessness, This sight is a masterpiece!

"Everyone! Do you see this Man here? He must've thought he could screw me by bringing his mistress here ." Not really, Im just spewing bullshit, but who cares? This is none of their business; And I'll make it theirs if they'll listen in too much.
"Do you all know how I'm feeling right now? oh, he was supposed to be my groom, but as it turns out, it is not me who is his bride."
Look at me, All of you. feel burdened for me.
"Are you out of your mind? let's go somewhere else-" without a hint of resistance, i calmly followed through while i was dragged outside the building.
"Are you done?" He let go of my hand while looking all disheveled, looking like a total mess.
"Do you know? I'm the one who's supposed to be feeling like shit right now. Not you." I crossed my arms and looked at him from head to toe. "You went way too far-" "so?"
What about me going 'way too far'? that was too 'far' for you?
"Ha? on what part?" Your definition of far is nowhere near mine. Who are you to tell me that?

You who accepted my feelings without ever returning it, Those years we spent together made me into an idiot who kept on holding on that single thread of hope that you might change. And you dare bring a lousy girl that can't even hold a candle to me? Those years i wasted on you, that place in your heart, was stolen by a girl so unworthy to be even called 'my cousin'?

"You real piece of shit."
"haha...goodness ian," Stella laid her hand back and leaned closer, "Isn't that supposed to be 𝘆𝗼𝘂?" caressing his cheeks and reaching for his hair she calmly whispered sweet nothings in his ears.

"𝘐𝘧 𝘪 𝘤𝘢𝘯'𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶, 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘯𝘰𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘦𝘭𝘴𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘯."

I am doing everyone a favor by not letting another fall victim to your wicked heart.