Princess Nightingale happily cleared her desk, her heart leapt with happiness. It had been a while since she had company for brunch. "You may take a seat," she said while maintaining her decorum. "Now wait here while I fetch our meals," her smile hanging from her plain-looking face.
Gully sat in the dimly lit room and noticed several detective boards on the wall with threads linking one hand-drawn picture to the next, with scribbles underneath. He realised that the princess was also a talented artist.
The princess returned with a lidded pot and 2 bowls. She carefully laid out the cutlery. "I got too excited and made more than 1 serving, so you must help me finish the noodles."
"Sure..., " Gully said with a wet appetite, looking forward to devouring royal delicacies.
The princess grinned with pride as she took the lid off the pot. A roar of fire danced from the pot, and a tar-like offensive smell filled the room. In the flame, Gully could see bloody black and red noodle strands dancing and screaming in the fire, akin to a scene from hell.
"What is this?" Gully asked.
"Oh! This is a soup noodle. We should have it while it is warm!" Princess Nightingale said.
'Soup noodle? Why does it look like the opposite of what she described?' Gully wondered. "Did your maid cook this?" he asked.
"How rude, I made it especially for us. Do you think my maids are capable of making such lovely food?" the princess said with slightly teary eyes. Something seemed to strike a nerve in her.
Gully looked around and realised that the poor princess had no attendants nor a maid-in-waiting- a norm amongst the aristocrats.
The princess stood and ladled the food into Gully's bowl. A tar-like liquid sizzled and melted part of the bowl, and small, tiny flames were still visibly frolicking around the dead noodles. Gully took his fork and plunged it into the thick black substance. The fork instantly felt lighter.
"Silly, you have to wait for the soup to cool a bit. Now I have to get you a new pair of fork," the princess said with slight annoyance.
"Princess, do you enjoy cooking?" Gully asked reprehensively.
"Of course! I cook all my meals. You never know when someone will try to poison. This is the safest way to live a long and healthy life here!" she said as she handed Gully another silver spoon and kept the melted spoon in a drawer full of melted utensils.
Gully looked at the unappetizing meal with dread, the black unknown substance emitted a deathly aura with negative rizz. Taking a gamble, he took the whole bowl and ate everything in one mouthful. Bitterness, saltiness, and weird metallic aftertaste assaulted his taste buds.
The princess looked with shock and later broke into laughter—finally, someone who appreciated her cooking. "Oh my, I should have cooked more!" she said with a big smile on her face.
Gully face turned purple, as if poisoned and drifting in and out of consciousness. "Princess Suha... I think I need to rest a bit... sorry."
"That's alright, I experienced food coma sometimes too. You can rest on the table." She said.
Gully rested and saw the room spin and all the information from the detective board seemed to float into his brain. So many information and yet he was not in the right condition to remember every detail. "Is this the legendary dark cuisine that assassins use for assassination? Is this poison training?" he wondered as he felt his stomach churn and bled.
Miraculously, the food had a healing factor. Every time he was about to faint from the pain, a small miracle ingredient would heal him and bring him back to life. And every time that happened, he would level up by 1. It was as if he had taken a level-up potion. Unsurprisingly, his pain and poison resistance grew with each level.
By the time he had fully regained consciousness, the princess was already cooking dinner.
"No... no more," he cried silently.
"Oh! Great! I'm so happy you enjoyed it. I'm making dinner now, do you want any desserts?" she asked happily while whipping up a storm... a literal storm.
Gully could only cry bitterly at his miserable fate of being the princess' squire cum taster.