The party raged on, and Leo drank like tomorrow was just a pesky rumor.
Then, amidst the clashing of cups and Leo trying to duel a tree (yes, a tree), I spotted familiar faces stuffing their faces near one of the food carts.
I made my way over, and as soon as they noticed me, all eight of them stood up so fast they knocked over two chairs, a plate of roasted lizard tails, and a suspiciously sentient jello.
"Woah, if it isn't the ever-powerful Leo the Invincible!" I grinned.
The fake Leo—now definitively not Leo—scratched the back of his head, red as a boiled crab.
"Glad to see you three are still alive... and apparently adopted a small army."
"Yes, thank you for saving us back then, ma—Master Troy," Julio stuttered.
"Your real name's not actually Leo, right?"
He cleared his throat. "It's Julio."
I nodded and turned to the demon and cat-boy beside him.
"San," the demon said.
"Shun," said the cat-boy with a fangy smile. "And these guys are our new pals." He gestured at a cluster of kids behind him who were currently arm-wrestling using their foreheads.
"Nice to meet you. I assume you've retired from impersonating faction leaders?"
All three chuckled in unison like guilty schoolboys.
"It was a one-time thing," Julio said. "We swear."
"By the way, Mis—uh, Master Troy, your fight earlier was awesome!" Julio beamed.
"Glad you enjoyed it."
Then came the tiny tug on my hand.
"Big bro Troy?" Rafaela was suddenly beside me, staring intently at Julio. "Ah… Leo the Invincible?"
Shun and San choked on their laughter while Julio looked like he wanted to evaporate.
"I just learned his real name's Julio," I said, introducing her. "This is Rafaela."
"Hi, Raf!" the group chorused.
She gave a sweet little wave. "Hi."
"Ey, boss! We're not done here yet!" Leo's voice thundered across the plaza. He was standing on a table, waving his comically oversized booze bottle like a war banner.
I knelt down beside Rafaela. "Wanna play with them for a bit? I think it's safer than hanging around a bunch of soon-to-be-accidental-arsonists."
She glanced between me and the group, then gave a decisive nod.
I patted her head and stood. "Thanks for looking after her."
Julio gave a thumbs-up. "You can count on us, Boss!"
He upgraded me from "Master" to "Boss" real fast.
I headed back to Leo and Xin, who were now aggressively debating whether or not you could train a chicken to be a mount.
"What took you so long, boss?" Leo asked, somehow still sober. Or maybe he just looked it.
"I ran into some old friends," I said, sitting down and reclaiming my drink.
Xin leaned in. "So now that you're leader of the Fang faction, got a plan?"
Leo perked up. "Yeah, boss. You're not gonna be like a certain someone who took over and realized halfway through he actually had no idea what he was doing, and dumped all his responsibilities onto me while I was trying to retire and knit scarves."
"I told you to challenge me," Xin said with a sigh.
I shrugged. "I've already told you—my goal isn't just this faction. I want to change the whole town."
They both froze mid-drink, like I'd said I was going to become mayor, god, and local tavern owner all at once.
"I'm challenging the next faction leader tomorrow."
Silence. Then two synchronized nods.
Leo grinned. "That's insane. I like it. Just... watch out for the Spriggan faction. Leal is tough, but that old hag Raiden? She might literally eat challengers."
"Old hag?" I asked.
Xin gave Leo a side-eye. "Don't call Raiden that. And you wonder why she curses you every harvest."
Leo shrugged. "Eh, occupational hazard."
He shook his now-empty bottle. "But enough about terrifying witches—this is a celebration!"
From under the table, he produced a much smaller bottle and waved it dramatically. "For the finale, I present to you... The Mind Breaker."
At least it wasn't cartoonishly massive.
He poured a crystal-clear liquid into our cups. It looked like water. It smelled like nothing. That should've been a red flag.
Xin took a sip and swayed slightly. His face turned beet red in 2.3 seconds. "I made it," he mumbled proudly.
"Oh no," I muttered.
"Drink up, boss!" Leo beamed.
I took a cautious sip.
…
It tasted like nothing.
Nothing at all.
Which is how I knew I was doomed.
"Good, right?" Leo asked, grinning like a supervillain monologuing before pushing the red button.
"What's it called again?" I asked, blinking as the sky started to wiggle.
"The Mind Breaker," he whispered like he just activated a forbidden technique.
And that—that—was the last thing I remembered.
The morning sun sliced through the curtains like a judgmental sword of light. My bed felt like a boat in a storm, and the light betrayed me with cruel intensity.
My skull felt like it was being stomped on by an army of tiny goblins wearing steel boots. My mouth was dry. My soul felt like it had been wrung out and hung over a flaming pit.
I groaned, rolled over—and immediately regretted it.
I groaned.
"Big bro Troy?" came Rafaela's angelic voice, gently pressing a wet towel against my forehead.
"What… what was that drink?"
She smiled, unaware of my suffering.
"I will never drink that demon piss again," I muttered, burying my face in the pillow.
Somewhere in the distance, I swore I could still hear Leo cackling.