It was an unspoken rule in the Avengers compound: don't drag Stephen Strange into nonsense—unless you want the nonsense to become cosmic. But rules were more like guidelines, especially when Alfredo the chicken was involved.
Tony, clad in one of his ridiculous silk robes and wielding a wooden spoon like a scepter, stood before the Sanctum Sanctorum with Steve Rogers and Kamala Khan at his side. In a satchel slung across Tony's shoulder: Alfredo, comfortably nestled in a blanket, pecking at a granola bar.
"Let me get this straight," Steve muttered, glancing sideways. "You're dragging the Sorcerer Supreme into a chicken-egg debate."
"A philosophical quandary as old as time itself," Tony replied with a solemn nod. "If anyone can solve it, it's the wizard with a floating cape and a relic that bends time like a slinky."
Kamala was barely holding in her laughter. "So... we're literally asking Doctor Strange if he can look into the past and see whether the chicken or the egg came first?"
"Exactly," Tony said, straight-faced. "And if we're lucky, we'll find out Alfredo is older than dinosaurs."
The Sanctum doors opened before they could knock. Of course they did. Standing inside, robes perfect, hair impeccable, and face already exhausted: Stephen Strange.
"You brought the chicken, didn't you," he said flatly.
Tony beamed. "You heard about the Great Debate?"
"I heard everything, Stark," Strange said, stepping aside. "The magical currents have been screaming. The chicken's aura is…" He paused, stared at Alfredo, then sighed. "Unnatural."
Alfredo clucked with serene menace.
Inside the Sanctum, Alfredo waddled onto an ancient floating cushion and pecked at air as the Cloak of Levitation hovered nearby, seemingly curious about her. The cloak dipped down and patted Alfredo gently on the head.
"Adorable," Kamala whispered.
"Terrifying," Strange corrected. "Now—what is this ridiculous question I've been summoned to answer?"
Tony rubbed his hands together like a man about to unveil the next iPhone. "We want you to use the Time Stone—sorry, Eye of Agamotto, yes, yes—to look back and settle the debate: Did the chicken come first, or the egg?"
There was a long pause.
Strange stared at him. "You want me to violate the natural flow of time… for a poultry paradox?"
Tony tilted his head. "You did it for less. Remember that one time loop with Dormammu? That was basically an aggressive negotiation with a space jellyfish."
"…Fair."
Strange sighed and turned to the pedestal where the Eye of Agamotto used to rest. A swirling relic shimmered into being—likely an illusion, or maybe not. He said nothing. His fingers danced through the air as a green glow began to wrap the room like tendrils of ancient curiosity.
He muttered under his breath. "Let's see where this madness began."
The room pulsed. The walls faded into shadow. Images flickered around them—prehistoric jungles, feathered reptiles, volcanic skies, a brief flash of Odin fighting a thunder-lizard in armor (no one dared ask), and finally… a speckled egg.
Then a chicken.
Then the egg again.
Then something in between.
Then a portal to a dimension made entirely of scrambled eggs opened, looked back at them, and winked.
Kamala screamed. Steve held his shield tighter. Tony clapped like a child at a magic show.
Strange's brow twitched. "This is… problematic."
Tony leaned in. "So? What came first?"
Strange looked them dead in the eyes. "Both. And neither."
There was a beat.
"What?" Steve, Kamala, and Tony said in unison.
"The egg exists before the chicken and because of the chicken. Time folds in on itself. The paradox sustains itself through a loop—an eggternal loop." His eye twitched. "Reality hates this question."
Alfredo clucked softly.
"She knows," Strange added. "That chicken knows more about the universe than the Living Tribunal. She is... outside."
The Cloak of Levitation wrapped protectively around Alfredo. The room grew cold. Strange didn't even try to explain further.
Kamala stepped forward. "So… the answer is...?"
Strange waved a hand. "The answer is: don't ask again."
On the way back, Tony was beaming.
"That was the best science-magic crossover event since I hacked the Bifrost. We broke time, Cap. For science. For truth."
"You're going to do this again, aren't you?" Steve asked.
"Absolutely," Tony said. "We still haven't tried asking Thor."
Kamala grinned. "I'm in. I bet Thor has a theory about chickens being Asgardian dragons or something."
"...He probably does," Steve sighed.
Alfredo, nestled back in her satchel, closed her eyes like a queen who had once again confirmed her divine supremacy.
And in the distance, far beyond mortal comprehension, the cosmic beings of the multiverse whispered one name in reverence… and fear.
Alfredo.
End of Chapter