The newcomer wasn't the leggy, sexy officer he'd imagined, but a hefty woman even bulkier than Barrett.
"Hey there, handsome. Inviting me to warm up by the fire? That's real sweet of you."
The burly female officer plopped down next to Franco, her thick arm sliding around his shoulders. Cheeko the cat spooked, flipping over by the campfire and darting behind Barrett.
"Hey," Franco said, his smile more grimace than grin, shooting desperate looks at EeDechi and Barrett.
"Legs are long, though." Just a bit thick, and the waist and shoulders a tad broad. Barrett's eyes flicked elsewhere.
"What's your name, cutie? Those eyes of yours are gorgeous." The tall, heavy-set officer stared into Franco's violet eyes, her round face splitting into a sly grin, her double chin threatening to triple.
"I'm Franco. You?"
Franco tried scooting away, but the officer's arm tightened, pulling him closer.
"Clorora Joestar. You can call me Clory." Her hot breath hit Franco's ear, her sausage-like lips nearly grazing his cheek.
"Ma'am, can we keep a little space? I'm a wizard, but I don't hit women." Franco stared straight ahead, his tone cold as ice.
"Don't push me away, hot stuff. Aren't you lonely?" Clorora's voice was still sweet, but to Franco, it was like a cloying, expired cream cake.
"Sorry, I've got friends. Not lonely." Franco's face was stone-cold.
"But I'm lonely."
The female officer's thick arm locked around Franco's shoulders, her other beefy hand gripping the poor wizard's chin, forcing his face toward hers.
"You say you don't hit women. But if a woman hits you, doesn't that make it more fun?"
The cavalry around them snickered, eyeing the campfire drama with wicked grins. EeDechi and Barrett stayed stone-faced, warming their hands. Cheeko, tucked in Barrett's arm, peeked out with half her head, staring at the officer.
"Show some damn respect." Franco's face was cold and stern.
He pushed against the sturdy officer, but she flipped him over, pinning him hard beneath her bulk. One hand started ripping at his clothes, the other yanking open her own collar.
"Let me go! Let me go! Captain, Barrett, HELP ME!"
Franco's face crumpled, his arms and legs thrashing, but he couldn't move, like a turtle flipped on its shell.
By the campfire, EeDechi pulled out the hefty The Mystery of Magic and read with laser focus. Barrett stared at the stars, lost in his own world. Only Cheeko's obsidian eyes grew wide, its tail whipping back and forth in a frenzy, clearly agitated.
The cavalry crowded closer, pointing and laughing, clearly used to their officer's behavior and treating it like a routine show.
"Damn, such sexy, chiseled pecs." The officer had torn off Franco's robe, popped the buttons on his shirt, and was rubbing her wide, rough palm over his chest.
"I… I can't get it up!" Franco whimpered, his voice breaking, tears ready to spill.
The female officer pulled a blue-black pill from her pocket, shoving it toward Franco's mouth. "Don't worry, pop this, and you'll get hard even for a sow."
"Mmph!" Franco clamped his lips shut, thrashing his head to dodge her hand prying at his mouth.
"Enough!"
EeDechi slammed her book shut with a loud thwack and rose steadily by the campfire.
A cavalryman whipped out his sword, pressing it to EeDechi's throat with practiced ease. "Little adventurer, wanna play hero? Sit down and enjoy the show."
EeDechi shot him a cold glance, grabbed the blade at her throat, and twisted it into a mangled steel pretzel with one hand.
"What…" The cavalryman's jaw dropped, speechless. But he was no rookie. He quickly drew a dagger from his waist and lunged at EeDechi.
EeDechi, pissed, smashed a fist into his chin. His jaw shattered as he sailed into the sky, joining the stars.
Chaos erupted. More cavalry charged EeDechi, swords swinging, but Barrett tripped a few with a casual sweep of his leg. Those who got close to EeDechi met crushed chests and snapped ribs.
Barrett carved through the fray, his longsword flashing cold in the firelight. Blood and steel danced, and soon most of the cavalry lay dead or dying.
Clorora, seeing the tide turn, grabbed the iron warhammer strapped to her back. As she started to rise, a low, powerful chant rumbled from beneath her.
Franco spat out the final syllable, and a surge of magic snapped into place. A powerful gust exploded beneath Clorora's hips, blasting the hefty officer into the night sky. Her silhouette flashed against the moon before she crashed back to the ground, motionless, her fate unclear.
The fight died down. Horses screamed in the dark, and the surviving cavalry groaned in agony, their cries filling the air.
"Well, shit. Slane Theocracy's gonna put another bounty on us," Barrett said, leaning on his longsword with a weary shake of his head.
Hooves thundered into the distance as a few cavalry fled the chaos. EeDechi, Franco, and Barrett didn't bother chasing. They gathered their gear, mounted the Slane Theocracy's nightmare warhorses, and rode hard toward the Eight Greed Kings desert under cover of night.
…
At dawn, the sky still a hazy glow, a dust-caked man slumped on an exhausted warhorse, galloping into a military outpost on the outskirts of Berdystch. His lips were cracked, eyes bloodshot, clearly sleepless all night.
Soldiers rushed to pull him from the nightmare steed. A burly officer yanked open his inner shirt, spotting a gold-stitched emblem. "You're with the WarLion cavalry. Where's your team? Weren't you headed to the border for a rotation?"
"We were attacked," the man rasped. "Three adventurers… three bandits attacked us. Several of us are dead, and many more are injured. Send reinforcements. You might still catch them."
"Bandits that tough, huh? Where are they now?" The officer frowned, spreading a map out for the man.
The man jabbed a finger at a wasteland on the map. "They were here last night, then headed south."
"South?" The officer mulled it over, a slight grin creeping up. "Perfect. A Clearwater Scripture expedition team's coming back from the Eight Greed Kings desert. I'll send a raven to them. They can handle it on their way."
"Clearwater Scripture warriors?" The man didn't flinch at the word "expedition." He collapsed, exhaustion overtaking him, and muttered as he drifted off, "Good… I can rest easy now."