She didn't mention that there were other Diana soldiers in the room. Others watched. My army. I gave them power and this is how they use it. It's my fault. They are mine but they are wicked. That will not be fixed by punishing one of them. They have to want to be good."What would you like for me to do to him?" I ask her. I don't reach out to comfort her. She doesn't need it, even though I think I do. She re- minds me of Evey too.
Nyla touches her dirty curls and shrugs. "Nothing," "Nothing isn't enough."
"To fix what he tried to do to me? To make it right?" She shakes her head and her hands clutch her sides. "Nothing is enough."
The next morning, I assemble my army in the Ceres square. A dozen limp; few Aureate bones can really be broken because of their strength, so most of the injuries suffered in the assault were superficial. I smell the resentment from Ceres students, from Diana students. It's a cancer that']1 eat away at the body of this army, no mat- ter who it is focused on. Pax brings Tactus out and shoves him to his knees.
I ask him if he tried to rape Nyla.
"Laws are silent in times of war," Tactus drawls. "Don't quote Cicero to me," I say. "You are held to a higher standard than a marauding centu- rion."
"In that, youre hitting the mark at least. I am a superior creature descended from proud stock and glorious heritage. Might makes right, Dar- row. IfI can take, I may take. If I do take, I deserve to have. This is what Peerless believe."
"The measure of a man is what he does when he has power, I say loudly.
"Just come off it, Reaper," Tactus replies, confi- dent in himself as all like him are. "She's a spoil of war. My power took her. And before the strong, bend the weak."
"I'm stronger than you, Tactus," I say. "So I can do with you as I wish. No?"
le's silent, realizing he's fallen into a trap.
"You are from superior family to mine, Tac- cờ tus. My parents are dead, I am the sole member of my family. But I am a superior creature to you."
He smirks at that.
"Do you disagree?" I toss a knife at his feet and pull my own out. "I beg you to voice your con- cerns." He does not pick his blade up. "So, by right of power, I can do with you as I like."
I announce that rape will never be permitted, and then I ask Nyla the punishment she would give. As she told me before, she says she wants no punishment. I make sure they know this, so there are no recriminations against her. Tactus and his armed supporters stare at her in sur- prise. They don't understand why she would not take vengeance, but that doesn't stop them from smiling wolfishly at one another, thinking their chief has dodged punishment. Then I speak.
"But I say you get twenty lashes from a leather switch, Tactus. You tried to take something be- yond the bounds of the game. You gave in to your pathetic animal instincts. Here that is less forgivable than murder; I hope you feel shame when you look back at this moment fifty years from now and realize your weakness. I hope you fear your sons and daughters knowing what you did to a fellow Gold, Until then, twenty lashes will serve."
Some of the Diana soldiers step forward in anger, but Pax hefts his axe on his shoulder and they shrink back, glaring at me. They gave me a fortress and I'm going to whip their fa- vorite warrior. I see my army dying as Mustang pulls off Tactus's shirt. He stares at me like a snake. I know what evil thoughts he's thinking. I thought them of my floggers too.
I whip him twenty brutal times, holding noth- ing back. Blood runs down his back. Pax nearly has to hack down one of the Diana soldiers to keep them from charging to stop the punish- ment. Tactus barely manages to stagger to his feet, wrath burning in his eyes.
"A mistake,' he whispers to me. "Such a mis- take."
hen I surprise him. I shove the switch into his hand and bring him close by cupping my hand around the back of his head.
"You deserve to have your balls off, you selfish bastard," I whisper to him. "This is my army," I say more loudly. "This is my army. Its evils are mine as much as yours, as much as they are Tac- tus's. Every time any of you commit a crime like this, something gratuitous and perverse, you will own it and I will own it with you, because when you do something wicked, it hurts all of uS."
Tactus stands there like a fool. He's confused. I shove him hard in the chest. He stumbles back. I follow him, shoving.
"What were you going to do?" I push his hand holding the leather switch back toward his chest.
"I don't know what you mean ... he murmurs as I shove him.
"Come on, man! You were going to shove your prick inside someone in my army. Why not whip me while you're at it? Why not hurt me too? It'1l be easier. Milia won't even try to stab you. I promise."
I shove him again. He looks around. No one speaks. strip off my shirt and gO to my knees. The air is cold. Knees on stone and snow. My eyes lock with Mustang's. She winks at me and I feel like I can do anything. I tell Tactus to give me twenty-five lashes. I've taken worse. His arms are weak and so is his will to do it. It still stings, but I stand up after five lashes and give the lash to Pax.
They start the count at six.
"Start over!" I shout. "A little rapist cur can + swing hard enough to hurt me."
But Pax bloodywell can.
My army cries in protest. They don't under- stand. Golds don't do this. Golds don't sacrifice for one another. Leaders take; they do not give. My army cries out again. I ask them, how is this worse than the rape they were all so comfortable with? Is not Nyla now one of us? Is she not part of the body?
Like Reds are. Like Obsidians are. Like all the Colors are.
Pax tries to go light. But it's Pax, so when he's done, my back looks like chewed goatmeat. I stand up. Do everything I can to prevent myself from wobbling. I'm seeing stars. I want to wail. Want to cry. Instead, I tell them that anyone who does anything vile--they know what I mean- will have to whip me like this in front of the en- tire army. I see how they look at Tactus now, how they look at Pax, how they look at my back.
"You do not follow me because I am the strong- est. Pax is. You do not follow me because I am the brightest. Mustang is. You follow me because you do not know where you are going. I do."
I motion Tactus to come toward me. He wavers, pale, confused as a newborn lamb. Fear marks his face. Fear of the unknown. Fear of the pain I willingly bore. Fear when he realizes how differ- ent he is from me.
"Don't be afraid, I tell him. I pull him forward into a hug. "We are blood brothers, you little shit. Blood brothers."
Im learning.