Melvin- i think.... i think we should stop.
Uncle- ...what do you mean?
Melvin- i don't want mom or dad to know about us.
Uncle- hahaha. You're not the only one.
Melvin- well it doesn't feel like you're helping at all anyway.
Uncle- the fuck? You think i am forcing this on you?
Melvin- what else?
Uncle- bruh. I can't believe this.
Melvin- ..don't have to.
Uncle- ...
Melvin- ...
Uncle- fine then let's break up.
Melvin- so you're fine with this?
Uncle- we don't have a choice anyway.
Melvin- ...i wish we just ran away from this shithole. I hate this life.
Uncle- hahaha that's were i gotta stop you Romeo. i don't think i hate being a Nelson to the point i have to run away.
[Melvins mom knocks on the door asking Larry to come to the living room since his dad and mom are leaving to go overseas for their honeymoon trip.]
Grandpa- how you like your new uncle Melvin?
Melvin- he's cool.
Grandpa- how bout you Larry? You like Melvin.
Larry- fine i guess. He has his little..... quirks.
Grandpa- alright then. have fun kids.
[Larry hugs his mom as she kisses his forehead then leaves with Larry's new step dad.]
Uncle- stay safe...
Grandma- you too babi.
[For the next few weeks Melvin and his uncle stay in the same house while Amy pays frequent visits to play with both of them after school. Melvins mom doesn't mind Amy hanging around too much but Melvins dad is strict about dating. He doesn't like Amy at all and frequently talks to Melvin about manhood and girls. Melvins mom leaves the house in the care of Jenny, a house help , who does all the chores and reports to Melvins mom at the end of the day. Everything goes normally for the first few days until Melvin brings up Alice into the conversation.]
Amy- hey... um can i call you Larry or unc is fine?
Uncle- lary please.
Amy- so how do you like the idea of coming to one of my friends birthday party? I heard you'll be alone at home so...
Uncle- yeah I'm not interested. Thanks for inviting me Amy.
Amy- sure alright...
Melvin- she's mad cause i told him about Alice. She doesn't want me to date her.
[Larry glares at Melvin cause he didnt know all this information. Larry was already pissed off cause Melvin was acting up for days, ever since they broke up.]
Amy- mad? Alice is a fucking gold digger. Hate to say this but she has no class... also pretty on the outside, shallow inside. She is the epitome of bitch fuckery. No wonder I'm pissed off.
Melvin- She's everything you will never be.
Amy- shut the fuck up or I'm gonna rip your face off...
Melvin- try me bitch.
Uncle- show me a picture of her.
Amy- gladly.
[Amy hands him her phone.]
Melvin- hahaha... you're definitely obsessed with her.
Uncle- right. She's cool i guess.
Amy- not cool enough.
Melvin- don't talk inbetween two adults.
Amy- hahaha take that back Melvin or I'm gonna say something you'll regret.
Melvin- hit me.
Amy- you won't like it.
Melvin- I'm not scared.
Uncle- can you guys stop? I'm fine with no one fighting like a bitch.
Amy- you're lucky to have an uncle like him.
Melvin- you're the lucky one.
Amy- what? Would you throw hands at me?
Melvin- i would.
Uncle- STOP IT!
[Larry scolds Melvin while he listens like a kid and glares at Amy. They bark at each other while Amy enjoys the chaos.]
Uncle- hmm. You have zero dating knowledge.
Melvin- ohohoho talking like a smartass asif you've dated selena gomez.
Uncle- well they are lot more in number than your count.
Melvin- name one.
Uncle- which one? The best friends or girlfriends?
Melvin- show me the contacts.
Uncle- ....fuck off.
Melvin- come on i knew it. That was whitest lie ever told in the universe. Probably whiter than chalk dust.
Uncle- i can't show their personal info but i can name them.
Melvin- ok say it then.
Uncle- hmm. My first bff was... say her name is Annie. We were besties back in class 3. She liked to play minecraft with me. And her favorite color was pastel violet.
Melvin- don't tell me about bffs, name the gfs.
Uncle- shut up and listen.
Amy- yeah Melvin, stop being a pussy.
Melvin- Amy please shut up.
Uncle- and the last one i dated was Denise. We dated for few years.
Melvin- and then?
Uncle- no more. Rest are just friends.
Amy- how many?
Uncle- 4 or 5.
Melvin- and how many guys?
Uncle- same number.
Melvin- so many girls and none to date. So are you gay or what?
[Suddenly there's a chilling silence in the room as Larry glares at Melvin once again.]
Amy- stop taunting him. Come on now Larry. Melvins just an asshole sometimes. Anyway so what happened to Annie?
Uncle- she stopped talking to me after her father took custody of her. Due to the rough divorce patch, he took a transfer to Roadplaza Northwest and she went with him. Now we barely talk. Not even a single text message.
Amy- hmm. What about the 2nd one?
Uncle- the 2nd girl was a bitch actually. Let's call her Benny. I never thought she would betray me but she did and she did it the worst way possible.
Amy- what did she do?
Uncle- she cheated on the exam and got caught, then blamed the whole class. The whole class blamed me cause i basically planned the whole thing. I got suspended and was demoted 1 grade because of her.
Melvin- Damn.
Uncle- yeah.
Melvin- what next?
Uncle- hmm right now my bff is a guy. Let's call him Caleb.
Melvin- ...hahaha.
Amy- so how's he?
Uncle- he's... better than the girlfriends i had before.
Amy- girlfriends?
Melvin- better than me too?
Uncle- yeah.
Melvin- sheesh.
Amy- you mean friends right?
[Larry smirks while staring at jealous Melvin.]
Amy- come on its just a friend right? You said bff not gf.
Uncle- girlfriend, boyfriend... what gives? It's all the same thing right?
Amy- no it's not. Girlfriend means you guys were dating.
Uncle- i mean dating in 3rd grade would be.... uhhh kinda impossible. My mom was really strict about these kinda stuff. So i acted a little gay in class to mingle with the girls.
Amy-....
Melvin- are you serious?
Amy- wow. I've never met a Gay dude before.
Uncle- i never said I'm gay. I just pretended to be one.
[Melvin breaks into laughter and leaves the room to chug some alcohol from the fridge. Amy laughs too to break the tension and sighs. She leans on Larry.]
Amy- don't bother. I used to think Melvins from the same category. He acted a little gay as well. I mean guys do it all the time huh? Just to get some girls....?
Uncle- maybe not always.
Amy- ....well it seemed like you guys fought or something.
Uncle- ...not really.
Amy- no? But it felt like it.
Uncle- it's probably the heat thats getting to you.
Amy- yeah probably the heat. I hate June summer. Turns people into zombies. It's the worst. It gets me, gets everyone.
Uncle- in gonna turn on the ac. One sec....