The next day
Hoshi's point of view
I narrow my wood coloured eyes, as the golden sun shines into them, pleasant April wind blowing away the cigarette smoke of my cigarette.
"Did you tell him about Aito?" I ask my dark haired sister who's leaning against the balcony railing beside me, her face also bathing in the setting sun.
"No, why would I tell Nikko about that?" She asks with a light frown, her fingers trying to scratch the paint off my black railing. I let her do so, because we will soon get a new one.
"I thought you were telling each other about your crushes" I scoff teasing her.
"He's not my crush!" She barks.
"Really, not even after all those years he's been hitting on you?" I smirk, taking a drag.
"No" She looks away, already seemingly offended. It's partly because the wind brings all the deadly smoke into her face, partly because of the uncomfortable questions I'm asking her.
Although Yuki knows everything about my half-relationship with Nikko, Nikko apparently doesn't know anything about Yuki's long time, determined suitor Aito, mine and Yuki's friend since childhood.
Since he is my best friend, I have never supported his inclination towards my little sister, who has fortunately never been into him. Yuki has been denying him since the first time he confessed to her, which is like when he was six, but his love still hasn't faded a bit.
And lately I feel like even she may have started to see the bright sides of Aito's personality, and the real kind and fun person he is, in a way that is more than just a friend.
"And it's not like he still likes me," Yuki states, her gaze still looking away from mine. "He's got a girlfriend now" She says, her voice slightly annoyed, as if she didn't like this fact. Her hands begin to focus less on the nicety, now scratching the paint off more nervously.
"They broke up" I say with a straight, almost cold looking face.
"Really?" She stops.
"Don't act like you don't see it" I say, now speaking with a slightly annoyed and serious tone. "The way he looks at you sometimes, all the annoying notes about being together that he's teasing you with… He never meant it as a joke, even when he had a girlfriend… He may not give you chocolate for valentines day anymore, and buy you flowers on your birthday, but he still likes to hang out with you, invite you to our apartment for cup of coffee and a piece of pie. He doesn't think of you as about a possible partner anymore, but that's only because you let his love for you fall asleep. If you ever tried to wake it up, he would eventually fall in love with you again"
Yuki sags a little, as if she was feeling guilty, probably because of the reckless way I put my words in. Yet she knows nobody can blame her for not liking somebody back.
"I won't tell Nikko. I don't want to bring up what has been forgotten, and I don't think Aito would be happy either" She says with a slightly troubled tone.
My voice softens a bit, as Yuki finally, although indirectly, admits she sees it.
"Even if it's just that you need to talk about it with someone? I'm sure he would understand that" I say, because Yuki probably still doesn't understand my intent. I know she needs to talk about it. She may not even really like Aito, but she's definitely confused about her feelings towards him.
As an older brother of hers, who never supported any spark between them, she definitely doesn't trust me with this, so I at least want her to tell Nikko, so she doesn't have to drown in this strange feeling alone.
The sun is getting lower and lower.
"No, it's different when they know each other," Yuki says, orange rays gleaming from her black, shiny hair.
"Huh? They know each other?" I ask, a bit surprised, my black hair on the other side taking warmth of the orange rays in, absorbing them.
"Yeah, Nikko knows your roommate you moron. He just doesn't know he is your roommate" She says, a bit harshly. This tone of hers always indicates that the talked topic genuinely bothers her, and she already wants to drop it.
Because I trust my stubborn sister and Nikko that they together will figure this whole Aito thing out, I listen to her hints and let this topic go. Instead I bring up a more serious one, that has been dwelling in my head since yesterday night.
"Yuki, don't you have any clue why Nikko is so scared of me?" I ask cautiously, vulnerably.
Yuki immediately frowns, slight confusion in her expression.
"What do you mean he's scared of you?" She asks, clearly suspicious of me.
"Like he doesn't talk about his feelings at all, and yesterday he thought I was mad at him. He was shaking…" I say, registering a honking sound from the city traffic in our view.
While I start registering the traffic sounds more and more clearly, Yuki thinks. There's probably a sentence forming in her mind at the moment, so I give her the space she needs. After a while, she begins to talk.
"He's a very closed person, and even when he opens up he prefers to keep his struggles to himself. That's what I observe on him" She starts, "Yet when there's a little too much on him, he needs to talk about it. If he doesn't, he easily gets nervous, and his head is then so overwhelmed and confused that he often behaves in a way different to himself. That's what he's told me once. That it's as if his system was just too overworked"
"But why doesn't he talk to me then?"
"I think he's really careful with such things as a romantic relationship, and by that I mean he is probably not sure what he can tell you and what he can not. He's scared of not being accepted"
The last sentence sounds in my head a few more times, as I look into the distance, my view partly blinded by the sun. It just somehow makes so much sense.
"Shit, that's horrible" I say with a worried tone and blow a grey cigarette smoke out of my mouth. "I'll need to talk with him about it."
When I finish this sentence we can hear the front doors open. Aito came home. Yuki puts a pointer finger on her lips, indicating for me to stay silent about the topic we have been discussing. I nod.
Busy traffic, the sound of scratching off paint, blowing smoke, pleasant April wind, a sound of stubbing out a cigarette. Nothing can be heard when we leave the warm afternoon behind us, when I close the balcony doors. Nothing but silence.