Snap-snap-snap-snap!
Irritatedly clicking his fingers, a long night of leading a horse through cold streets had left him maddened for sleep. Needing to get the girl off so he can begin his journey home, swapped from snappy fingers to rough claps.
Even resorting to muffled shouts,
"Hey. Wake Up! Hey. "
Shocked awake, Marie opening her eyes to a man vigorously clapping close to her face. Spooked by the sight Marie fell back landing on her hands wide eyed and moderately gasping for air. Sweat forming on her skin.
Weirded by the strange behaviour but uncaring to delve deeper simply stated,
"we're here."
and jumped out the back.
Coming to her senses, mind buzzing mildly from the sudden wake up. Took up her brief case and carefully stepped out the back, one foot at a time. Too groggy and in a drowsy slump to think coherently. The horse shuffling away the moment she was fully off. Left alone in a chill, loosely watched as the wagon strolled away. Her baggage feeling like a boulder in hand.
Standing in an unfamiliar place with a big stone building infront of her. Not a noise around, too disorientated to give attention to the swaying trees and wind, still tired and wanting to sleep.
Placed outside this building must mean it was where she needed to go. Without wasting anymore time slowly creeped inside but as she looked around, there wasn't anyone to meet her at the entrance. Empty and still in the lobby, the sun still far away from reappearing in the sky. No sunlight to enter through cracks or crevices or windows. only a tiny candle wanned in the dark on a desk. Unsure of what to do, decided to rest on a seat provided by the room and waited. Having a small inkling why she was here, Marie didn't want to think about it any longer. Not completely rested, her body powerlessly closed and drifted off. Embraced by the icy stone walls and valise between her legs.
"umm. . . hello? Excuse me."
Woken in a quiet manner. Marie opened her woozy eyes, seeing soft orange light beneath her feet. Pitifully raised her head until the face of a concerned woman met her own.
"Are you here for a check up?"
she asked.
Unsure how to carry the situation, Marie shyly nods and was brought to the counter were she was told to wait in one of the many rooms.
"Someone will be with you shortly."
Thanking the woman meekly, Marie quietly made her way through a passage and sat on the bed in her designated room. A hard mattress separated her bottom from creaking wood, her valise placed back between her legs waiting patiently for someone to arrive.
Light poured in from the single window in the room high up the wall, faint in colour only recently risen from the horizon. It's weak strength unable to warm Marie's pajamas. Hands under her thighs and arms stuck close to her body, Marie soundlessly stared out the grubby window, watching as the birds glide and leaves shake. Not even the light blue sky could brighten her today. Studying the formation of clouds and thinking what they could've looked like, distracting herself until a woman entered the drab room. A different women than before making Marie go a shade nervious.
Holding an apparatus in hand, asked Marie in a unchanging tone to show her stomach. Embarrassed, Marie followed, lifting up her course grey pajamas where the women promptly placed the end of her equipment on her belly. The object connected to her ear, she listened with hooded eyes, moving the apparatus to multiple locations.
Finished with her check peeled the object out her ears.
Speaking fast,
"you are complely fine, there doesn't seem to be any problems. Uhh you should come back in about three to four months so we can have a safe delivery."
Marie was thrown off guard to what the woman was saying but she understood it, even if she missed some words. She knew where she was. In a place for woman to safely stay at the end of their pregnancy, with many midwives and experts around to keep them in tiptop shape.
She wasn't expecting to be in such a place so soon, but Marie wasn't thinking about it a lot anyways, keeping her pain and sickness to herself. No one else knew of the times she would vomit into the trash, no one else knew of the times she would stay alone in the bathroom. And to have it discovered with her mind unprepared left her ashamed. Dread squirming it's way to her toes and hidden fingers, Marie wanting to bring her body even closer to herself than it already was. Arms closer to her ribs and head lower to her anxious heart. Feeling the stir of clammy hands as she rubbed herself under her legs whilst she connected them together. The back of her pajamas damping.
Getting asked questions, Marie did her best to answer them but with her lack of expirence and knowledge could only answer in no's or yeses without looking at the others eyes. Each question asked an added terror to her under-rested heart.
Lacking in more questions to ask
"That will be all, thank you. You can go now."
Leaving the room and leaving Marie in solitude. Marie stayed a while longer thinking.
Turning back to the window and peeking out at the early day clouds, worriness of money began to surface in her mind. She would need a place to stay, maybe she could find a cheap Inn if she looked around the area if she tried really hard. Also needing to eat, in fact, she was feeling peckish. Ready for a hardy breakfast. But she needed to spread her money tremendously thin to last her. And to pay for all that until she came back here to the stone walls. She needed to use her money sparingly, only bringing a few coins with her in her orange pouch she must be wise. Along with the necessities like toothpaste and thicker cloths for the upcoming winter, she would have to find work - The cloths she brought with her in a daze weren't enough - Which she couldn't help but be fearful of the thought, never being able to comfortably be with, let alone talk to people.
Alot of troubles but maybe the outside can liven her mood. Marie staring pass the glass, searching.
No more birds that sored across the fresh blue and white. Leafs still shake but their sight couldn't sway her mood.
Remembering a scene in her recent read, earlier in the story. Her most liked scene, a picture she could relate with. The wise archer gazing out a window lost in thought. Also searching for something just like Marie. Out onto the grass and far across the hills the archer perceived. Finding something so much more than adventure and excitement. Something the land couldn't give to her, something her home couldn't give her. Something where the only life existed. The possession of freedom to explore, like that of a rogue, a traveller, a warrior. Only, Marie didn't want a distant dream to chase. She wanted something instant, in this moment.
Staying motionless in the spot, the window taking her whole mind. Thoughts speeding past, not one remotely full but hastily replaced with another when the thought slightly waned.
Sitting on the hard mattress eyes unwithering away from the window. Marie stayed in the cold room longer than she should've. Anyone could come in and become confused by her not being gone. Which would be embarrassing if not for the small hope from Marie that someone would.
Still and thoughtless Marie stayed with the scenery. The showcase of flying birds going on and off, a third of her view blocked by leafs and another third blocked by a wooden wall. Feelings stiring but all seeming to converge back into the same sad emotion. Thinking hard to keep it away.
Thinking
Thoughts
Distractions, it was all distractions. To force her mind away from what she never wanted to think about. To stay away from what's happening to her body. She didn't want anyone to know but now every person would know when they looked at her. Awful, it's just awful. The peering eyes of the people that she couldn't run from. Their judging remarks that their eyes spoke of. The scorn they show her and her own scorn she will show to a new life. It was too much.
But Marie was a warrior, able to face anything, she was a warrior, she was.
Unable to find her strength outside she was forced away from the window's view and looked down upon herself. Lips sealed shut and slightly wobbling, a hot sensation sneaking into her face and eyes. Her vision no longer clear nor free, blurred by the salty tears that uncontrollably formed. Slipping down her cheeks and chin, Marie sat in silence, tears falling down onto her grey cloths and brief case. Trying her best to control what she couldn't. Lonely in a quiet room, she could only hear the trembling breathes that escaped her mouth.
She wasn't prepared, no matter how much time she had she wouldn't have ever been ready.