"Have you heard..."
"The yellow-haired guy recently formed a Konoha girl group."
"Apparently, from now on, all funerals will be handled by this girl group."
"What!?"
"That sounds amazing! I should go home and ask my father when he's planning to die."
On the bustling streets of Konoha, a group of villagers gathered, fervently discussing the latest news about the so-called Konoha girl group that Uzumaki Naruto had allegedly put together.
According to a well-informed insider, all the members were top-tier beauties with incredible looks and figures.
In short, they were diligent and dedicated.
The villagers, upon hearing this, even developed a newfound admiration for Naruto. After all, if they could witness such a grand spectacle at funerals, who wouldn't look forward to it?
---
Hokage Building
"Kakashi..."
"Have you been having a little too much fun lately?"
Tsunade cracked her knuckles as she stared at the twelve men before her, each adorned in an array of embarrassing women's clothing. The sight was enough to make her eyes sting.
She never imagined that there were so many closet perverts in Konoha.
Standing beside Tsunade with his hands on his hips, Naruto pointed dramatically at the group and declared in righteous indignation.
"That's right!"
"Auntie, listen to me! I knew something was off about these guys ages ago!"
"They even tried to kill me to keep me quiet!"
"How heartless can they be!? What do they think of the villagers?!"
Half an hour ago, White Silk Sasuke and Bunny Girl Kakashi had led the others in an attack against Uzumaki Naruto.
Even his so-called brother-in-law, someone who was practically family, turned on him without hesitation.
Before Naruto could even finish talking, he had already been hit several times by Bo Bing(Sasuke) and oyhers. The worst part was that when he attempted to flee, Shikamaru had snagged him with his Shadow Binding Jutsu for a mere half-second.
That half-second had been more than enough.
The entire group had unleashed their most powerful moves, creating a chaotic beatdown. Even Naruto, the protagonist himself, had been momentarily frozen in place.
If the original timeline's Naruto had been present, even he might not have survived this onslaught.
Luckily, Naruto managed to react just in time, casting a powerful spell and using the secret technique of "Xing"—taught to him by Master Shangjiu—to enter an untargetable state.
With that, he swiftly booted every single cross-dressing offender through a space-time portal.
Thus, they all landed right here—in the Hokage's office.
---
Kakashi kept his head down, silently fiddling with the rabbit ears on his costume, his expression unreadable.
Might Guy, on the other hand, was completely unbothered. Dressed in a black leather jacket, he remained ever-passionate about his youth.
Neji's once-bright eyes had lost all luster. Now, he simply stared ahead like a hollow husk of his former self.
The only one who seemed to be enjoying himself was Sasuke.
Since this was already his second time being caught in this situation, he had at least learned from experience—he had torn off the white silk before the fight even began. As a result, he was the most normally dressed among the twelve.
When they had been thrown into the Hokage's office, there had still been a fair number of people inside. It wouldn't be long before their reputations were utterly ruined.
For the first time in his life, Sasuke felt relieved about his own social awkwardness.
If Inuzuka Kiba and the others continued to call him "Brother Bo Bing," he swore he would make sure the entirety of Konoha got to see their cross-dressing pictures.
Yet, as much as he enjoyed this small victory, something even more thrilling made his blood rush.
Sasuke narrowed his eyes slightly, running his fingers over his eye sockets.
At this moment, he was stronger than Naruto.
---
Meanwhile, the other eleven people in the room clenched their fists in frustration. They never expected to actually defeat Naruto, but they also never expected that he wouldn't even fight back—
Instead, the yellow-haired bastard had simply teleported them straight into Tsunade's office.
Damn it!
Whether it was Sasuke—the mastermind, Kakashi—the accomplice, or Naruto—the snitch, everyone was convinced that Team 7 had set them up!
Seeing the entire group seething in silence, Naruto couldn't help but rub salt in the wound.
"What happened to all that confidence, huh? Didn't you say I wouldn't make it out alive?"
"Come on, hold your heads up high! Show me those smug faces from earlier!"
He even pointed at Neji, clutching his chest in mock heartbreak.
"Brother... I'm so disappointed in you!"
Naruto's shameless instigation skills were top-tier.
At first, everyone had been drowning in their own humiliation, but now, thanks to Naruto's incessant taunts, they were glaring at him with renewed fury.
Had they not been standing inside the Hokage Building, the battle definitely would have continued.
"That's enough!"
Tsunade finally snapped, glaring at Naruto.
Even so, she was in a good mood today. After all, this wasn't Naruto's fault, and at worst, these idiots were just indulging in their own personal hobbies. It wasn't like it would impact the village.
Waving a hand dismissively, she turned away, unable to even look at them anymore.
"Go clean up the streets of Konoha."
"Come back in a week and submit a 10,000-word self-reflection essay."
"Now get lost."
Hearing their punishment, the group collectively sighed in relief.
Thank god.
At least Lady Tsunade didn't call their parents.
Just then, Kakashi timidly raised a hand and asked cautiously,
"Uhh... should we still clean while wearing these outfits?"
Everyone: ???
Naruto: ???
Tsunade: ???
A suffocating silence filled the room as everyone turned to stare at the real white-haired pervert.
BANG!
"ABSOLUTELY NOT!" Tsunade roared through gritted teeth.
If the villagers saw her subordinates sweeping the streets in bunny suits, she would be the one dying of shame!
Tsunade took a deep breath, resisting the urge to beat Kakashi to a pulp. With an exhausted sigh, she looked at him with sheer disappointment.
"Kakashi..."
"If your father were alive to see this... he'd be so disappointed in you."
"He won't know."
Sasuke: Hmm?
Kakashi's retort was barely out of his mouth before he was promptly yeeted out the window.
After dealing with the biggest offender, Tsunade shot a warning glare at the remaining group, scaring them into fleeing without another word.
Yet, while they were relieved that things hadn't reached rock bottom, little did they know—
The gossip queen, Shizune, had already spread their glorious deeds far and wide.
And this matter spread at an extremely terrifying speed.
By sundown, the entire village would know.
And their reputations?
Utterly doomed.
"Sasuke, Naruto, what are you guys still doing here?"
"Will you wait for me to treat you to dinner?"
Tsunade glanced at the two people who were dressed normally, and felt somewhat relieved.
Since the second Five Kage Summit, there has been no major chaos in the ninja world, and Team 7 has been behaving itself.
Nothing serious has happened in these years.
It seems...
They have finally passed the age of getting into trouble and are gradually becoming sensible!
However, Tsunade still reminded Naruto before the two left.
"Naruto, you have grown up. I hope you can be as reliable as your father."
"Think about that mysterious organization. They have already cleaned up your mess twice..."
"You should become a hero like him, shouldering the safety of the world."
Naruto had already stepped out of the door with his left foot, and he instantly perked up when he heard Tsunade say that.
"Hokage-sama!"
"Don't worry! I will definitely become someone like them."
Um...
I joined Akatsuki directly.