Kei watched as Tsunade kicked off her high heels, walked barefoot to the fridge, grabbed a bottle of sake, and took small sips while urging his shadow clone to cook. He looked utterly doubtful about life.
Was this really his home?
Then why was she so naturally sitting at his dining table, bossing him around to make food?
The shadow clone glanced at him, who was standing behind Tsunade, trying to figure out what had happened during the time the real body and Tsunade had spent together at Konoha Hospital.
Otherwise, why would she suddenly act like Jiraiya's long-lost sibling… Yep, overly familiar.
"You handle this." The shadow clone decided not to waste time thinking and dispersed into a puff of chakra smoke.
"Lady Tsunade, what would you like to eat?"
Kurenai poked her head out of the kitchen.
Through the thickest of rose-tinted idol filters, she only saw Tsunade as bold and righteous—truly worthy of the title of Konoha's greatest kunoichi!
"I'll have whatever Kushina is eating for lunch."
Tsunade propped her chin with one hand while casually swirling the sake bottle in the other, throwing the problem straight at Kei. She didn't believe he'd make something terrible for Kushina to eat.
"Wait, are you paying for the meal with that attitude?" Kei rolled his eyes in frustration.
"Tch—I'll bring you his Water Release scroll later. Now hurry up and cook." Tsunade waved her hand dismissively, completely unfazed.
"!!! Lady Tsunade, please wait a moment!"
Kei's expression changed in an instant.
Under the bewildered gazes of Guy and Genma, he didn't hesitate for a second—he grabbed an apron and rushed into the kitchen.
Tobirama—the man rumored to have signed a contract with the ocean itself. A master of Water Release, whose jutsu left even the best water users questioning their existence.
Water Release: Water Severing Wave, Heavenly Weeping, Water Release: Hard Whirlpool Water Blade… each one devastatingly powerful and insanely practical.
Even though Kei had studied countless Water Release jutsu in his years in the Analysis Team, could they even compare to the lifelong creations of Tobirama?
Once he mastered Tobirama's techniques…
By then, holding both the Second Mizukage's and the Second Hokage's legacies...
As he fantasized about his glorious future, he noticed his students looking at him with disdain, as if they wanted to disown him as their teacher.
"What are you staring at? Guy, knead that pastry dough again. I'll teach you a lost Strong Fist technique later—ever heard of Explosive Impact?"
"Genma, heat up the milk for the crêpes, grab the whisk, and mix the batter properly. Want to learn Flying Nail Mist Soaring and Torpedo Nails? Then get moving!"
"Kurenai, want to learn how to make croissants properly? Pay attention—later, I'll teach you an original genjutsu, Phantom Curse of the Wailing Spirit!"
Despising Kei, understanding Kei, becoming Kei.
Under the tempting lure of new ninja techniques, the three of them moved with impressive speed!
Kurenai, who already had a basic understanding of cooking, quickly got the hang of it after watching Kei demonstrate twice. Once she got comfortable, she even started chatting.
"Sensei, I heard you have a genjutsu that makes anyone caught in it collapse in agony, and even summoned beasts suffer unbearable pain… is that true?"
Her face was full of anticipation. Clearly, compared to the Phantom Curse of the Wailing Spirit, she was way more interested in this one.
"… Who told you that?" Kei paused for a moment, looking a little weirded out.
Among all the genjutsu he had created, there were quite a few that made people scream in torment…
But the only one capable of making even summoned beasts suffer was probably Trump's Ecstatic Nightmare Realm.
As an advanced version of Here's a D for You, Trump's Ecstatic Nightmare Realm forced the target into a genjutsu where they became Trump, who was being relentlessly pursued by Dahmer.
If they didn't get caught? The chase continued indefinitely. And if they were finally caught… well, Dahmer got to have his fun.
Back then, when he was young and reckless, he hadn't held back.
He only cared that the technique was effective—that it could deal a devastating psychological blow to both humans and summons alike, instantly breaking their mental defenses. Everything else? Didn't matter.
But now? He was older, and he actually cared about his reputation.
"I-I heard about it from Jiraiya-senpai… D-Did I say something wrong?" Kurenai blinked her eyes, asking cautiously.
Jiraiya had mentioned that this genjutsu was only classified as a B-rank technique, the same level of difficulty as the jutsu her Kei had taught her, so she figured she'd ask about it. But judging by the reaction… had she just touched on something she really shouldn't have?
That damn bastard! Kei gritted his teeth, cursing under his breath.
Jiraiya had been getting more and more shameless these past few years. Since Minato had become Jiraiya's apprentice early on, Kei had never been too unfamiliar with him. For some reason—he couldn't even remember why—Jiraiya had once asked to experience one of his genjutsu.
And it just so happened that Trump's Ecstatic Nightmare Realm was fresh off the drawing board at the time, so he figured, Why not test it? And thus, Jiraiya—and his summoned toad—became the first-ever victims.
It was just a genjutsu! It wasn't real!
So why the hell was Jiraiya still holding a grudge over it?! Did he seriously go out of his way to tarnish his reputation as a teacher in front of his own student?!
Slap! Slap! Slap!
"Hahahaha! Oh, I remember now! I remember! You guys are talking about that jutsu—the one that even scared the toads of Mount Myōboku! Kurenai, let me tell you about it—hahaha!"
Tsunade smacked the table, laughing so hard she was nearly in tears. And with each laugh, waves and ripples rolled uncontrollably—visually captivating, to say the least.
Just remembering how Jiraiya had shivered at the mere sight of Orochimaru for over a month, and how a certain toad from Mount Myōboku had undergone a complete transformation…
She was laughing so hard that she could barely breathe.
Kei frowned, debating whether to stop Tsunade from continuing, but he hesitated. If Jiraiya were the one telling the story instead, things would probably sound even worse.
After all, if he had already brought this up to Kurenai, his credibility was already in the negative. Seeing Tsunade laughing uncontrollably, and their teacher awkwardly avoiding the topic by focusing on making croissants, his three students instinctively knew—This was a story worth hearing!
A tale of Jiraiya and their own teacher. Not to mention—one of the three great summoning lands, Mount Myōboku, was somehow involved.
They had to hear this! Please continue!
After finally laughing enough, Tsunade composed herself and began recounting the events of that year.
The story wasn't even that complicated.
Back then, Jiraiya wanted to test Kei's unusual genjutsu on a summon first. So, he called forth a toad named Gamariki from Mount Myōboku.
Originally, Gamariki was a clean and proper male toad—handsome, even. He was apparently quite the ladies' frog back in Myōboku, with plenty of female toads chasing after him.
As a summoned beast, he naturally thought: What kind of genjutsu could possibly affect me?
And then—boom!
Not even three seconds after the jutsu was cast, he exploded into smoke and immediately fled back to Myōboku.
Jiraiya tried to summon him again to remove the genjutsu, but Gamariki flat-out refused to return. Curious, the young Jiraiya couldn't resist trying the technique himself.
And then… Well, he did manage to break free through sheer willpower. But for over half a month afterward, he would tremble at the sight of Orochimaru.
Not only that, every time he squatted down, he would violently fart. He went through so many pairs of pants that it became a public concern.
It wasn't until Hiruzen finally couldn't stand it anymore and ordered a specialized genjutsu therapist to help Jiraiya recover that the situation was brought under control.
And as for Gamariki… A month later, when they saw him again—
He had transformed completely...
Fiery red lips, a seductive posture, and a pink bow tied on top of his head. And he, too, suffered the same post-genjutsu trauma as Jiraiya.
Squat—fart. Squat—fart.
And the worst part?
He was a toad.
As Tsunade told the story, she kept smacking the table while laughing uncontrollably.
Guy looked down at his own tight-fitting bodysuit, suddenly feeling deeply unsettled. Genma, on the other hand, shuddered so hard that he almost dropped his senbon.
This… this side effect is terrifying!