"Well that's pretty much it for me, by the time I woke up, I was well... dead, or is it undead. Not sure anyway that's me, what's up with you. Thought I lost you for sure."
--
It's dark I can't feel anything or see anything, not even my heart beat as any presence. Am I standing or sitting, maybe I'm laying down, I'm not sure anymore.
The time here feels so different, I feel I've been here for years or maybe just a few minutes. I can't tell up from down anymore, am I even blinking or are my eyes forever closed to the light I'd known so long ago.
I tried so hard to find something other than this eternal darkness that held me close, but I've yet to break free of it's warm embrace.
"It's time for you to wake up."
Who... said that, it wasn't me and yet it was my voice. It sounds different but something tells me it was my own just the same. In this darkness that voice was the only thing I'd felt in what seemed like forever.
I small light appeared in the dark, it was so far away yet it seemed like I could reach out and grasp it. I still couldn't feel my own body let alone move it, so the only thing I could think to do was to imagine it coming to me.
Now having this small light to guide me I knew my eyes were open, and that I had not lost my sight. So I closed them and grabbed the light in my mind a pulled it closer, embracing it's warmth.
Opening my eyes I could finally see what it was, in front of me was a white door, glowing with nothing on it other than a small doorknob.
I grabbed the doorknob, opening the door, ready to leave this place and enter another. On the other side there was a room, it was small with nothing in it other than a chair sitting in front of a mirror with lights above it.
Now able to feel my body, I looked down to see I was wearing all black and my skin was pale with strange markings that I assume are tattoos covering my arms.
I chose to walk over and sit down taking a closer look at myself, but what I saw wasn't me. What I saw instead was a hooded figure looking back at me, I couldn't see his face nor his eyes.
The only thing I could see were his hands, they were pale like my own and his right hand wore a ring. I looked at my own hand and saw no ring, and yet they seemed so similar.
I lifted my hand to take a look and of course the mirror did the same, curious I imitated rolling my sleeves causing the reflection to do the same. His arms were covered in the same markings, I looked at it for a moment then looked towards the hooded face.
I hesitated finally feeling my heart beat as it pounded in my chest, I'm nervous but I don't know why. It's just me right, then there's nothing to be worried about.
I moved my hands toward my head, watching as the reflection grasped the hood preparing to pull it back.
I breathed deeply then yanked it down trying to get it over with, it was just my face..., but he looked... sad. A tear rolled down his cheek and his eyes held sorrow, touching my own face there was no such thing. So I did the only thing that made sense, I wiped it away and tried putting on a smile.
Although the tear was wiped away, he wouldn't smile at me. Is this the part of me that was locked away somewhere, was he holding the feelings I stored so deep in my mind I had forgotten. I looked down at my opened palms trying find some memory or reason for him being this way.
"It's nice to see you again."
My eyes widened and I looked up at him, his face was different half of it had turned into a skeleton, and yet I could see so clearly the sadness in the depth of its dark eye.
"This isn't what you expected is it..., how... we expected to meet again. I've been quite... lonely without you."
"What...?"
"You've forgotten about me hadn't you...., it's ok I don't blame you. Last we'd spoken you were quite upset with me, with the way our life was. And now here you are."
"I don't..."
"I've been watching, waiting for the day you would need me again... the day you would want me again. You looked so happy... I couldn't.... I couldn't bring myself to interfere with that. Even if it meant I could never be by your side again, I was willing to throw myself away so you could have what you wanted..., so I could see your smile."
I listened to him his voice was my own yet seemed so sad and lonely, I could feel every word as if it were my own yet it sounded so far away.
"It's ok if you don't want to see me or even speak to me, I understand."
"No, that's not..."
I paused for a moment trying to gather myself, then I looked up at him not breaking eye contact.
"You're right I've seemed to forgotten who you are..., I'm sorry. Please help me remember, I couldn't forgive myself if after leaving you by yourself for so long, I didn't remember you."
For a moment, just a small moment i could see it. A light in his dark eyes, a small smile trying to form on his face.
He looked down at himself, raised his hand to his face, carresing his pale face then feeling the bone on the otherside. He wiped away a tear then looked up at me again, doing so he wiped his hand over his face, making it look completely like me.
"I am..., I was... you, the old you, before you decided you wanted a normal life. You had been fighting for so long, doing what you were chosen to. It grew tiresome, you were saddened by it because it meant doing something you hated more than ever."
"What?"
"Reaping the lives of those who did not deserve to die. Even now, you seem to retain that part of you."
I looked down clenching my fists, it made sense. The reason I became a soldier was because I hated seeing the innocent die for no reasons, I wanted to protect them, and this was the best way I knew how.
I didn't enjoy killing, everyone was fighting to protect something, to do what they thought was right. But the only way I could keep the ones I loved safe was to take someone else away from their family.
That was the reality of this world, that was what I hated more than anything. But what could I do, what could one person change, in a world full of people greater than I... what could a small fish do in an ocean full of sharks.
"The same thoughts that plague you now, are what plagued you then. But you were so consumed by these thoughts and the sadness of that duty that you failed to realize, you had the power to change things, that you still do. But that path isn't one you would like, but I hope with the things you've gone through in this world, you would accept it."
"What would that be?"
He paused looking at me, studying my face, my expression. He could here my thoughts I could feel it, he understood how I felt about it. But what he wanted was a true look inside of my heart, my mind, to see if I was willing to accept him again and accept the sacrifice.
"It's the same as you do now Luke... kill those who cause pain, rid the world of those who would make others suffer. Use our power to bring peace and justice to this world."
I looked at him for a moment then looked around at the darkness that surrounded us, then looked down at my hands not saying a word.
"You're right you know... I don't like that idea. Heh but it makes sense all the same.., I accept, but tell me one thing. Can we really do such a thing."
This time he did smile, it was a nice smile. Genuine, beautiful, like it was the first time he had smiled in a long time.
"I believe we can, you're strong, always have been. Even back then you had something to protect, people who would follow you wherever you went. No matter what you did they would stand by your side, even now as we speak they await your return. If we fail, then at least we can say we tried."
"Agreed."
I smiled back at him then looked down chuckling at bit. When I looked back at him the mirror was gone, and there he was standing infront of me with his hand held out.
"Will you accept me back and join me in making our dream come true.?.?"
"I wouldn't have it any other way."
I smiled and grabbed his hand, lifting myself up I looked infront of me and he was gone. Instead the mirror was back and this time I knew it was me on the otherside.
I smiled at my reflection, I felt whole again like I had found the missing piece to a puzzle I had given up on years ago. I twisted the ring on my finger then grabbed my hood pulling it over my head.
Looking back at the mirror my face turned completely into a skeleton, but it doesn't freak me out. This is who I had always been, I remember you now... old friend.
A warmth filled my heart as I looked at myself, I clenched my fist then walked right through the mirror exiting the darkness that suffocated me for so long.
I'm ready to face what's on the otherside.