We set off the same day and went to the City's capital: Dongying Camp.
Amidst the darkness of the camp, Lin Jian's gaze pierced through me. His lieutenant Wu and sworn brother Xie flanked him, silent, sharp-eyed. I had been dragged along for one cruel reason: to help capture Zhang Li—my brother. The weight of that truth pressed into my chest like a blade.
That evening, I poured tea for him. My hand trembled so badly the scalding liquid spilled over his fingers. He didn't even flinch. Just stared at me, his eyes black and endless. The silence between us was unbearable. It wasn't hate I felt anymore—it was something rawer. It gnawed at my ribs.
That night, the room we shared was barely lit, the moonlight slicing us in two. I stood at the edge of his bed, dagger in hand, my breath shaking.
I moved without thinking.
But as the blade neared his throat, his eyes shot open and he reacted with terrifying speed. I was slammed onto the bed, his weight pinning me. His hands like iron around my wrists.
"You're trembling," he said quietly. "Scared of killing me, or that you'll fail?"
I said nothing. The blade stayed in my hand. He saw it—and let me go.
I sat up slowly, but I didn't lunge again. Instead, I turned the blade toward myself.
"I didn't come to kill you," I whispered, voice thin. "I came here because I want you to do it."
His expression stilled.
"I want you to take my life. Make it make sense. Maybe… maybe if you do it, all of this—what I am—what I'm becoming—will stop."
My fingers trembled harder.
"I don't understand anything anymore," I choked out. "I don't know who I am. I'm not who I used to be. Something in me is screaming, tearing me apart. I can't breathe when I think about what he did—what my brother did—for me."
"I died, Lin Jian," I said. "I died. And now I'm walking in a body stitched together with the blood of strangers. I feel them in me—I feel them—and I can't tell where I end and they begin."
Her voice broke.
"I'm losing myself," she whispered. "And no one even notices."
Then—her knees buckled.
The dagger fell from her hand with a soft clink.
Her eyes rolled back, and she collapsed like a puppet with its strings cut.
He was there before she hit the floor.
He caught her mid-fall, arms strong around her limp frame. He lowered her down slowly, his breath tight. For a second, his hand hovered above her cheek, uncertain. Then he let it fall—his fingers brushing a strand of damp hair from her face.
"You stupid girl," he murmured. But the words were empty. Not cruel. Just… helpless.
He pulled her into his lap, her head against his chest, her breaths shallow and quick. His hand moved slowly, instinctively—stroking her hair, then her back, like one would calm a frightened animal or a fevered child.
And for a moment—just a moment—something shifted in him.
His usual cold was still there, but it flickered. The control he wrapped himself in, the constant readiness for violence—it loosened, even if just briefly.
He looked down at her pale face, slack and unconscious, the tracks of tears still wet on her skin.
His jaw clenched. Then… slowly, he closed his eyes, leaned his forehead to hers, and let himself exhale.
Not out of weakness.
But out of something deeper.
Something he wasn't ready to name.
"Someone! Get her a doctor."Lin Jian's voice cracked, a raw edge to it. His eyes, usually sharp and calculating, were filled with a mix of sadness and fury. He pitied her, the poor, broken girl before him. But his pity was a drop of water over a festering hatred, a hatred that ran deeper than any ocean.
He'd always told himself he didn't develop feelings for Yinuo. Just an obligation, a duty, a strategic move. But there was a sting in his heart, an ache that wouldn't fade. This love, twisted as it was, was beyond redemption.
His mind flashed back to the day he'd first encountered Zhang Li, a charming, manipulative man disguised as a healer. His sister Wang Kong Shu arranged in a marriage she didn't want with the crown prince of Dongying, found and fell in love with Zhang Li. He'd seen how Zhang Li had drained his sister, her once vibrant spirit fading with each stolen breath, her energy used to revive Yinuo. He'd heard her plead, whimpering with a desperation that ripped through his soul, begging him to keep it a secret from her husband, the emperor. Her love for Zhang Li blinded her to the man's true nature. And then, he'd seen Zhang Li kill her, a casual cruelty that shattered the last vestiges of Lin Jian's sense of justice.
This drove the emperor to task the young Lin Jian with his life mission to become a spy in Zhang Li's established sect disguised as a disciple, find his beloved sister he'd hidden and stop his continued cruelty. Lin Jian had doubted Yinuo's identity from the way Zhang Li treats her, his suspicions were confirmed when he sent Yinuo to the Jade falls and came back telling him she relived the immortal's life she was able to enter the mirror that the immortal's lover crafted, because she had the immortal's trace. Upon finding that out, he sent out a message to his nation and massacred Zhang Li's sect; originally he had taken Yinuo in a safe place and planned to get her back later, just to find out she fled. She didn't escape their grasp and fell into his hands. Now, with his original identity General Yang Su Ning he came back to his country with Yinuo.
Zhang Li, a man who had taken everything from him - his sister, his peace, his very soul - had now been found. After months of relentless pursuit, they finally tracked him down, hiding in a secluded village, a viper waiting to strike again.
But this time, Zhang Li wouldn't get away. Lin Jian wouldn't let him. He would make Zhang Li feel the same way he did when he lost his sister. He would make him taste the bitterness of betrayal, the sting of loss, the cold, empty ache of a heart ripped apart.
Yinuo, the girl he had sworn to take revenge on, was his weapon, his conduit to the pain he wished upon Zhang Li. He would use her, to break Zhang Li, to destroy him, to ensure that he never saw the light of day again.
Lin Jian looked at her for a long moment, then turned and left the room.