"Kanade..."
"What's wrong?" Natsukawa Kanade asked curiously, tilting his head slightly at Eriri's hesitant expression.
"..."
She simply stared at him, as if struggling to get the words out. The moment stretched between them until—
"I'm hungry."
"Huh?" Kanade blinked, thinking he had misheard. "But didn't you just—"
"It's not enough! How am I supposed to be full with just a sandwich, idiot?" Eriri huffed, crossing her arms. "You should be more proactive at times like this! Even if I don't say it outright, you should know what I mean… Seriously, if you were a protagonist in a gal game, you'd be on the Bad Ending route already!"
"How am I supposed to read your mind?" Kanade sighed. "Besides, this is reality, not some dating sim. There aren't convenient branching dialogue choices here."
If there were, he'd want to rewind time and stop himself from making all those dumb mistakes before each confession. Maybe then, his relationships wouldn't have ended up this tangled.
"It's just an analogy, idiot." Eriri poked him in the side, her expression turning more playful. "Anyway, don't change the subject. Go buy me another bread roll, quickly!"
"Eh? So I'm the one going?" Kanade's face twisted in mild disbelief.
"Obviously!" Eriri declared with the confidence of royalty. "I'm so hungry I can't walk anymore!"
"..." Kanade was taken aback.
Since when did this proud little golden retriever learn how to act spoiled?
This excuse felt eerily familiar… like something a certain bossy student council vice president would say when she wanted to make unreasonable demands.
You two are really a perfect match for each other, huh? Kanade sighed internally.
But, despite his grumbling, his body moved automatically. He even made sure to clean up their table before heading off.
"..."
Eriri remained quiet, watching his retreating figure. As soon as he disappeared around the corner, the cheerful facade on her face slowly faded. Her lips moved almost imperceptibly as she murmured,
"You always agree so easily…"
============================
Meanwhile, on his totally unfair errand, Kanade successfully bought the requested bread. However, on his way back, he stumbled upon a scene that made his eye twitch.
The forgotten trio.
They were supposed to be eating together, yet somehow, his so-called friends had abandoned him, comfortably seated at a private table, happily munching away.
Kanade's brow twitched.
"Care to explain what exactly is going on here, my dear friends?"
With his fingers clasped together and his voice laced with faux politeness, he gazed at the three traitors before him—Hikigaya Hachiman, Tanuma Tsubasa, and Miyuki Shirogane. They had all abandoned him to suffer on his own while they indulged in a peaceful meal together.
Kanade's irritation only grew as he realized they weren't even trying to look guilty. No, it was even worse—
"Yeah, yeah, that's real rough. Want a drink?" Hachiman drawled lazily, barely looking up as he slid a canned coffee toward Kanade.
"..." Kanade narrowed his eyes at the peace offering, his expression unreadable.
"Sweet?" he asked, testing the waters.
"Sweet," Hachiman confirmed with a nod.
Kanade sighed in exasperation.
"You didn't even try to bribe me with the bitter one?!" he snapped, pointing an accusatory finger at his so-called friend.
This guy knew he preferred slightly bitter coffee, and yet he still tried to pacify him with this overly sweet heresy? Clearly, Hachiman had just passed him his own backup drink!
"If you don't want to drink it, then hand it back." Hikigaya Hachiman stretched out his hand with a deadpan expression. "That way, I can save some money."
"Yeah, no chance." Natsukawa Kanade shot him down instantly. It wasn't every day he managed to squeeze something out of this guy, so even if the coffee was unbearably sweet, he wasn't about to give up his hard-earned prize. Worst-case scenario? He'd rinse his mouth a few extra times later.
"But let's be clear here—you owe me an explanation." Kanade took a reluctant sip of the overly sweet canned coffee, grimacing slightly. "And don't try to feed me some dumb excuse like 'I got lost on the way back.' Even a kindergarten kid wouldn't believe that."
"Tch…"
"Oi. Did you just click your tongue? Were you seriously about to say that?"
"Nope. Just your imagination." Hikigaya Hachiman immediately shook his head, feigning innocence with an utterly serious face.
"Actually, I was just diagnosed with a rare terminal illness. The only cure is eating my meals here. It was an emergency, so I didn't have time to notify you."
"..."
Kanade nearly choked on his coffee. For a second—just a second—Hachiman almost sounded convincing. But no. No way. What kind of nonsense was that?
"Are you even listening to yourself right now? Are you sleep-deprived? Or just completely brain-dead?" Kanade rubbed his temple, feeling a headache coming on.
Realizing he wouldn't get a straight answer from this guy, he turned to the other two culprits at the table, pinning them with a sharp gaze. Surely, at least one of them would be decent enough to tell him the truth.
And sure enough, despite Hikigaya's best efforts to stop him, Kanade finally managed to uncover the real reason.
"Apparently, since I was seen happily chatting with two girls while eating, Hikigaya suggested you guys find another place to sit so I could have a 'better opportunity to deepen my romantic connections.'"
Kanade repeated the words flatly, his expression void of emotion as he looked at Hachiman, who was now pretending to be utterly absorbed in drinking his water, as if this had nothing to do with him.
"So? Do you have anything to say for yourself after spreading such outrageous slander about me?"
"Yeah." Hikigaya nodded solemnly. "There's a correction I need to make."
"Oh? And what would that be?"
"It wasn't about 'talking about love' but rather 'cultivating emotional bonds.'"
"THAT'S THE SAME THING!!!" Kanade's voice rose in disbelief.
Seriously, what was wrong with this guy?!
Then, turning to the other two, he gave them a scrutinizing look. "So you two just went along with this lunacy?"
"Well, I actually thought Hachiman had a point," Shirogane Miyuki admitted shamelessly.
"Yeah, President, we couldn't just go over and interfere, right? Besides, I was kind of hoping to observe your legendary techniques firsthand," Tanuma Tsubasa added with a smirk.
Kanade: "…"
What the hell do you mean, 'legendary techniques'?! Could you at least clarify before making it sound like I'm running some kind of sketchy operation?!
"Don't listen to their nonsense. We just happened to run into each other and had a casual conversation. That's all." Kanade sighed, already feeling the futility of trying to explain himself.
The problem was, adolescent boys were like a pack of gossiping hyenas. Even the slightest hint of something romantic in the air, and they'd swarm the topic like sharks to blood. It didn't matter how innocent the situation actually was—once a narrative had been spun, good luck trying to set the record straight.
"Ah, don't worry, President. I completely understand. Your secret is safe with me. I won't tell anyone—especially not the Vice President. You can rest assured."
"Same here. I'll keep quiet. No need to worry."
Kanade: "…"
WHAT SECRET?!
And why did they suddenly bring up Kaguya?!
Just what exactly were they planning to tell her?!
He suddenly felt an ominous chill down his spine. He needed damage control. Fast.