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Chapter 59 - 59: The Princess Diaries.

Everything that is written LIKE THIS is something Azula wrote in her diary.

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Although the trip had been quite wonderful because of the views of the South Pole, especially the strange sensation of seeing both the sky and the land completely white, Azula felt a strange sensation that perhaps the relatively peaceful moments were about to end. 

She didn't know why she suddenly felt a little anxious, especially about the future, as if something was about to happen, but it didn't ruin the warm atmosphere that had developed with her friends at that moment. 

Away from the warfare, the intrigues, the scheming, just a group of friends looking at the world from a perspective that few have been able to do in 100 years, who can say they've traveled on a Flying Bison, no one at the moment!

Except them. That made the moment all the more special, and although Ty Lee and Shisui noticed her strange humor, they played along, after all, if it was something serious, she would discuss it with them herself. 

The thing is, Azula keeps a diary. At first, it might seem silly, but how could a serious princess like her keep a diary? But sometimes she would think of things that she was embarrassed to say, so she would write them down in her diary. 

She usually wrote trivial things, she wouldn't write anything really important or compromising in her diary, what if someone stole it? It would be really funny if she revealed important secrets in her diary and one day it would be read by inappropriate people.

Still, her diary was full of little thoughts, things like the names of the sons and daughters she wanted to have with Shisui. If her fiancé knew that Azula had done such a thing, even though she was not very controlling daily, he would be scared. 

It wasn't just the names, but when they would be born, how she planned to raise them, and even what specific lessons she wanted to teach them. Azula's temperament was more stable than her original counterpart's, but that didn't mean her intelligence and lust for control were cut off.

She simply redirected them elsewhere. She wasn't an over-the-top perfectionist, but she was a woman who thought a lot beyond what her generally calm face said. 

After all, she was a person who was truly blessed by the world, as some would say, but even so, she never felt jealous of Shisui. Why, aren't there many who feel jealous of him? Someone who was called a Sage by the Avatars and who attained enlightenment.

Perhaps if she were an immature 14-year-old brat with bad parenting and a fragile emotional state, she would be jealous of Shisui, but as I said, her thirst for control was diverted elsewhere; it never left her. 

She was already Shisui's fiancée, they loved each other, and it's not like he hid his advances from her, so her own power could also grow by following his advice, why be jealous? Even a vague path of her own was emerging within her, just like her older brother Zuko. 

Zuko found his way relatively early on; who would have thought that the Crown Prince of the Fire Nation would be more talented with swords than with his country's flagship element?

But Zuko was able to combine both disciplines so that when he used them, they were the same, proving his path. Azula, too, had found a path. 

In the privacy of the night, with Shisui sound asleep beside her, Azula played with small fathoms of blue flame that danced on her fingers. If someone were to see these actions, they would not notice anything unusual at first. 

But if they were paying attention, they would notice that the blue fire dancing in Azula's hands was more than just dancing flames under her control. Her outstretched hand had a fire in each of her fingers, the temperature didn't bother her, there was no temperature at all.

'Spirit fire,' Azula thought, remembering the legends associated with blue fire. 

Though it was a symbol of power, proving that Azula's chi was not only abundant but of high quality, it was the folklore of blue fire that was important.

Generally associated with the dead and the spirits of the deceased, even though the Fire Nation had a custom of cremating bodies, stories of blue fire dancing over corpses had reached them. 

The interesting part? She was able to confirm that it was real when she went to the battlefield. She was able to see these blue fires dancing over the corpses one night when there was no time to clean up the battlefield that had suffered terrible carnage that day. 

Perhaps because of her connection to the blue fire, instead of being afraid to see such a legend manifest before her, she was intrigued and included such a phenomenon in her experiments and quest for improvement. 

It was only now, after being completely relaxed, after seeing more of the artistic abilities of each element, and especially after feeling a strange sense of fear while flying on Appa's back, that Azula was able to manifest this strange fire. 

Ironically, she had been trying to create more powerful and hotter flames, just as her great-grandfather Sozin had done when he and the Avatar Roku entered a spirit cave where they were both able to create blue flames and even white flames. 

She wanted to not only have white flames, but she wanted to be able to shape them in a much more spectacular way, without having to shape them so much or carry an attack too much, like when she wanted to create a falcon made of fire. 

However, as it turned out, she gave herself what she had first, and although she wanted to scream with excitement, she had several things to think about; it was late at night, her fiancé was asleep, and the people near her tent were asleep as well. 

Besides, she was a polite and refined princess, although she didn't like it very much; manners were implanted in her bones by the work of her mother, who worried a lot about her usual rudeness. At least when she was a child, she was a little wild. 

Thinking of the times she spent with her mother, a smile appeared on Azula's face, and the blue flames, which had taken on a lighter shade than usual, merged into a beautiful lotus flower that she twirled in her hand. 

It was natural and instinctive, as if these flames, which she unoriginally called 'Fatuous Fire', could easily take on a certain shape. Unlike the fire modeling Zuko was doing, which was more like giving the fire a solid consistency and then kneading it into a specific shape, the lotus of fireworks in Azula's hands simply blossomed.

Under her attention, the flower transformed into a hair that raised both legs into the air and even opened its mouth as if to whine. Though it was a small figure made of pure flame, Azula felt a strange vitality in her creation, as if she could bring to life whatever she wanted. 

'I haven't reached enlightenment or anything, why is that?' Azula thought before writing down her experiments and thoughts in her journal.

Although writing in a sitting position without moving much while controlling a fire hummingbird flying around her was not as easy as it seemed, her journaling habit made it easy. 

"I feel no temperature at all in this fire, no heat or cold. It even seems like a strange illusion, my fingers going through the fire, but when I tried to make it go through my belly, I felt a sign of impending danger," Azula wrote in her journal, her golden eyes narrowing as she felt the uncontrollable factor in this fatuous fire.

She didn't like the uncontrollability. She felt she had to explore this strange flame deeply and know what concepts were associated with it. Was it death as in the legends? Life? For even the wings of the hummingbird resembled the real thing when the creature of fire flew. 

No, it was something else, but she had not touched the concepts like Shisui, so her research in that aspect would have to be discarded. But at least she had to understand the simple fire and its phenomena.

Then Azula saw something that stunned her and almost made her scream. The fire hummingbird she had created brushed against a small piece of her hair and instantly dissipated. All of Azula's hair was covered in light blue flames, dancing wildly as if pushed by the wind. 

She didn't understand why this was happening, but her hair, which she spent an hour combing before bed and which Shisui always lovingly stroked, had now become a strange, messy tangle. 

"I need to study the effects of the Fatuous Fire much more..." Azula wrote as she controlled the Fatuous Fire in her hair, pulling it away from her body and holding it in her hand.

But the strange thing was that this fire without temperature was unusually quiet, it didn't crackle or affect the flow of the wind like normal flames, it just fluttered in her hand, dancing in a way of its own. 

"The fatuous fire dances differently than my normal blue fire." In her right hand was the blissful, fatuous fire, and in her left hand were her blue flames, which snapped as well as having a temperature. 

Each flame fluttered, they even seemed to be still and controlled, there was a subtle movement in them that Azula had understood for many years. As a Firebender, how could she not understand her own fire, even Zuzu knew when her fire was fluttering left or right!

But the Firebender was a new mystery to Azula, so she understood why Shisui was always happy when she discovered she could do something new with water; exploring one's element and finding surprises like that seemed to be unusually rewarding for any Bender. 

Though Azula had never heard of anyone using Fatuous Fire like she did, or anything like it. She had never experienced anything extremely serious or life-threatening, aside from her conflict in the war, so she sank into meditation about it. 

"The Fatuous Fire is also depicted as a mischievous spirit...mischievous flames, merry flames," Azula wrote in her journal, thinking about the strange way her hair reacted to the Fatuous Fire as if someone had played a prank on it. 

The thought of fire having a 'temper' made her feel strange, but after spending so much time with Shisui, she understood that the elements were more than just a tool for benders, more than just innate, you could say they were a manifestation of themselves. 

'My flames are happy,' Azula thought, remembering how happy she felt today, despite the slight distress she felt riding on Appa's back alongside her friends and family, she felt a warmth in her heart. 

Firebenders can feel the 'flame' within them, feed it, use it, and just as Azula remembered her happy feelings, that flame burned differently in her for a moment. 

"But the Fatuous Fire is seen not only as playful but as a bad omen..." Azula's brow furrowed as she wrote this sentence; the uneasiness inside her seemed to grow stronger and stronger, as if something bad was about to happen. 

She didn't like this feeling; it made her feel out of control and increased her overwhelm, but the happy moments she had experienced came to her and diminished this discomfort. 

In addition, her emotions were more stable and her mind was much healthier than its original counterpart, so Azula did not have a panic attack; in fact, she quickly regulated her overflowing emotions by breathing. 

She didn't know what was wrong with her, maybe it was a bad feeling? Whatever it was, she would face it no matter what. The fatuous fire turned into a hawk under her intentions, looking at Azula curiously. 

"Shisui always says that no matter what comes, if it's good, he'll accept it, if it's bad, he'll crush it. Something simple, but that's the good thing about Shisui, he knows how to simplify things so that everyone can understand.

I want to be like him. Whatever I'm feeling, if it's bad, then burn it to ashes." In the tent lit by Azula's flames, a broad smile appeared on the princess's face, her golden eyes shining brightly, like a hawk watching its prey.

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AN: BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN.

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