All this time, Hisuian Zorua had always considered itself a child.
It had no intention of taking on any responsibilities, nor did it have any grand ambitions.
One by one, its friends evolved, grew stronger, and matured.
But for Hisuian Zorua?
There was no real need to rush, was there?
Life only happens once—wouldn't it be better to just enjoy the carefree joys of childhood?
Whether in terms of mindset or self-awareness, Hisuian Zorua never saw itself as a mature Pokémon.
In any aspect.
And now, here comes Mew telling it—
"Kid, you're not so little anymore. It's time to become a Gym Guardian."
...Wait, are you joking?
Hisuian Zorua stared at Mew, its face full of disbelief.
It turned to look behind itself.
Nope. No other Pokémon around.
So Mew wasn't talking to someone else.
Which meant...
Had Mew, the big boss, created an imaginary friend in its own mind?
How pitiful.
I should tell Boss Natsume about this.
With that thought, Hisuian Zorua decided to make a quick escape.
Only a fool would take this job.
Life on the farm was already perfect—plenty to eat and drink, training whenever it felt like it, slacking off whenever it didn't.
Why on earth would it sign up for extra work?
Was it bored out of its mind?
Hisuian Zorua simply couldn't understand.
However, just as it took two steps, it suddenly felt a tight grip at the back of its neck.
In the next moment, an overwhelming force lifted it into the air.
Its four little legs flailed helplessly.
What... What just happened?
Turning its head, it saw Mew staring back at it with a look of utter dissatisfaction.
"Meew!"
So this is how you treat your big boss?!
Mew looked deeply hurt.
After everything I've done for you, you can't even do me this one favor?
How heartbreaking.
...Seems like I'll have to double tonight's training session.
Mew made up its mind.
At the same time, it also realized something—grabbing a Pokémon by the scruff of its neck felt incredibly satisfying!
No wonder Natsume always liked picking it up that way.
Decision made: from now on, it would start grabbing other Pokémon like this too.
Ignoring Mew's threats behind it, Hisuian Zorua began to complain.
It wasn't that it didn't want to help—it was that it simply couldn't!
Hisuian Zorua had a very clear understanding of its own combat ability.
Right now, let alone standing up to Persian or Corviknight, it couldn't even beat that burly Marshtomp by the pond!
That guy was practically all muscle at this point—just looking at it, you'd think it was about to evolve into a Machamp instead.
Hisuian Zorua didn't know why, but its illusions never seemed to work well on the Pokémon at the farm.
For a while, it even doubted its own skills, wondering if it simply wasn't suited for illusion-based combat.
Then one day, it snuck off to test its illusions on some wild Rattata and Oddish nearby.
That's when it finally confirmed—
The problem wasn't with its illusions.
The Pokémon on the farm were just completely ridiculous!
Especially Persian.
Its illusions had virtually no effect on Persian at all—not even enough to make it hesitate.
With its strongest ability rendered useless, Hisuian Zorua had long since placed itself at the bottom of the farm's food chain.
"Meew~"
I see now.
After hearing out Hisuian Zorua's grievances, Mew nodded in understanding.
Then, it began to persuade Zorua.
Simply put, becoming a Gym Guardian didn't mean anything too serious—it just had to deal with the occasional Trainer coming to challenge the Gym.
Most of them probably wouldn't be very strong.
Besides, Pokémon from the outside definitely weren't as absurdly powerful as the ones on the farm.
Wouldn't this be the perfect opportunity to play to its strengths?
"Suo!"
Hisuian Zorua's eyes lit up after hearing Mew's explanation. It grabbed Mew's paw, looking as if it had just attained enlightenment.
Boss Mew, I see now. I was being immature before. Now, I truly wish to improve!
If you would be so kind as to—
Before it could finish, Mew unceremoniously tossed it to the ground.
Nice try, kid. You think I don't watch TV?
With Hisuian Zorua sorted out, Mew continued recruiting for its so-called Mew Guard.
By the lake, it found the Marshtomp gathering energy for its next evolution.
In the berry grove, it located the Vikavolt duo—one of them even being a Shiny Vikavolt—alongside the Tsareena leader of the farm's grass-type Pokémon.
Strictly speaking, these Pokémon were all early members of the farm.
They had just been too focused on their own training for a long time, so they didn't interact with Natsume as much.
Take the Tsareena leader, for example.
When Mei's Steenee had returned last time, even though it still got thoroughly beaten, its progress was evident enough to pose a slight threat.
Since then, the Tsareena had been training diligently.
In terms of a web novel analogy—
The three-year promise has arrived. (crossed out)
The dragon king returns. (crossed out)
Well, something along those lines.
Honestly, Mew really wanted to recruit Persian, Corviknight, and that Shiny Furret for its Mew Guard Squad.
But that seemed pretty unlikely.
So it decided to just let that idea go.
Instead, it opted for Pokémon that were strong enough and ones it got along with.
Why the two Vikavolt?
That came from a casual conversation Mew once had with Natsume after a meal.
Natsume had mentioned that some Trainers followed a philosophy of "wild battles."
That meant Trainers would fight alongside their Pokémon in combat, claiming it to be the truest form of battle.
Natsume occasionally wondered—
If someone challenged him to a wild battle, he would just bring the two Vikavolt along.
One on the left, one on the right—two floating cannons.
And if anyone actually managed to break through their defenses and reach him?
They'd be rewarded with a punch to the face.
Mew remembered that conversation well.
Someday, it wanted to try it too.
Two floating cannons sounded incredibly cool.
Finally, Mew found its two little rookies—
For now, the twin Charcadet were still in the "full of potential" phase.
As for their combat ability... better not think too much about that.
They might be able to hold their own against newbie Trainers.
But against seasoned Trainers, they'd just be a minor inconvenience at best.
No helping it—training time had been short, and they hadn't evolved yet.
Taking down a fully evolved Pokémon as a base form was near impossible unless it was naturally strong to begin with or the opponent had been poorly trained.
That said, the two Charcadet agreed to Mew's plan without hesitation.
They had no idea what being a Gym Guardian entailed.
But if Boss Mew said to do it, then they'd do it.
After finalizing the lineup for its Mew Guard, Mew swiftly went to find Natsume and report its selections.
"Ah, Mew? Give me a second."
At that moment, Natsume was busy giving Togetic a bath.
This was proving to be quite the challenge.
Ever since it was a Togepi, it had hated bathing.
The feeling of water washing over it made it deeply uncomfortable.
Every bath session had been a struggle.
And now that it had evolved into Togetic... nothing had changed.
Natsume sighed as he watched Togetic stubbornly cling to the water hose, refusing to let go.
It had been an entire month since its last bath!
The realization hit Natsume just after getting home.
This thing had been rubbing against him constantly, but it hadn't been washed in a month!
Every time bath time rolled around, Togetic found some way to escape.
It hadn't been like this when it was younger, but at some point, that changed.
Maybe this was its rebellious phase?
"Alright, alright, Togetic, relax."
"It's just a bath, nothing to worry about."
Holding the showerhead in one hand and gently rubbing Togetic's head with the other, Natsume tried to calm it down.
"Toki!"
Still clinging to the hose, Togetic puffed up like a balloon.
It looked like an angry little pufferfish—so round it was practically begging to be poked.
That thought crossed Natsume's mind as he watched it pout.
After some coaxing, Togetic finally accepted its fate and turned its back to Natsume, signaling its reluctant surrender.
"Good, good, Togetic is a brave Pokémon."
"Brave Pokémon get rewards after bath time."
Testing the water temperature, Natsume gently poured some over Togetic's back.
Once it got used to it, he aimed the showerhead directly at it while keeping up the soothing talk.
Sometimes, Natsume wondered if he had a double standard.
For cute Pokémon like Togetic, he would coax them into bathing.
But Corviknight?
One bucket of water over the head.
Wash or fight.
Under Natsume's "mortal threat," every Pokémon—Corviknight included—had no choice but to bathe.
Otherwise, what awaits them is Persian's slap.
Don't ask why it's not Natsume doing it.
Natsume insists he doesn't usually get his hands dirty.
(Persian: Ordering me to do it doesn't count as doing it yourself, huh?)
The warm water quickly soaked into Togetic's body.
That sensation of water pouring down from above always made Togetic feel a little short of breath, instinctively holding it in.
After scrubbing a little, Natsume reached to the side and picked up a Pokémon-specific body wash.
It was a special formula, too.
It contained many ingredients beneficial for Flying-type Pokémon, helping them maintain their feathers and keep them smooth and glossy.
Besides that, there were other components—one specifically for cleaning dirt and another for making fur look shinier.
Natsume squeezed all of them into a single bottle, added some water, and shook it vigorously.
Once the mixture was fully blended and foaming, he poured it over Togetic.
In no time, Togetic was completely wrapped in a thick layer of bubbles, with only its head and tiny feet sticking out.
"Toki!"
Togetic instinctively wanted to shake itself off.
But seeing how seriously Natsume was washing it, it held back the urge.
"Alright, close your eyes. I'm rinsing now."
After giving Togetic a heads-up, Natsume washed the foam off its body.
Wash, apply conditioner, rinse, towel dry, and then…
"Mew, hit me with some hot air."
"Slow and controlled, okay?"
Turning his head, Natsume called out to Mew, who had shown up at some point to watch.
"Mew~"
Perched on a shelf, Mew rolled its eyes.
Natsume always managed to find it, without fail.
Even though most humans wouldn't notice even if it followed them around all day.
And he always treated it like some handy, all-purpose machine.
Unbelievable—Mew was a Legendary, for crying out loud!
One day, he would know its true power!
...But for now, Mew obediently took a deep breath and exhaled slowly.
A stream of warm air flowed from Mew's mouth, swirling around Togetic like a vortex.
The heat swiftly whisked away the excess moisture from its body, leaving a lingering warmth that gently dried it off.
"Tokki~"
Feeling the cozy warmth, Togetic couldn't help but squint its eyes in contentment.
This was so nice.
For Togetic, the brief comfort of being dried after a bath was one of the few reasons it could convince itself to go through with bathing at all.
It quietly gave Mew's hot air technique a thumbs-up in its mind.
Maybe it could get other Pokémon to learn this too.
That way, they could help dry each other off.
Today, you help me. Tomorrow, I help you.
Yep, just drying.
"Alright, go play."
With the bathroom cleaned up, Natsume smiled at the now fresh and clean Togetic.
"Toki!"
Togetic gave itself a strong shake and then joyfully flitted away.
There was no trace of its earlier misery.
Well, kids' moods change fast.
Sometimes, just a small Ultraman card was enough to keep them happy for hours.
"Mew!"
My turn!
The moment Togetic left, Mew immediately flew up to Natsume.
Now it was time to talk about its matters!
It had things to report too!
Waving its tiny paws, Mew nearly blocked all of Natsume's vision.
"Alright, alright, calm down."
Reaching out, Natsume instinctively tried to grab Mew's waist and pull it down.
But with a smooth twist, Mew effortlessly dodged his hand.
"Mew!"
Dry your hands before touching me.
Eyeing Natsume's damp hands—still wet from washing Togetic—Mew's face showed obvious disdain.
Did he even realize how uncomfortable it was for a cat to get wet?!
"Ah, my bad."
Grabbing a towel from the side, Natsume started to dry his hands.
But just as he touched the towel, a thought struck him.
"Hey, Mew."
"Mew?"
"When's the last time you took a bath?"
"...Mew!"
"Get back here!"
Just as Mew tried to dart out of the bathroom, Natsume snatched it out of the air and yanked it back inside.
With a loud slam, the bathroom door shut, and Mew's wails echoed through the house.
No matter the world, cats never really liked taking baths.
***************************
Read advanced chapters ahead of everyone else on my P@treon.
P@treon/GodDragcell