Prompt: Turns out, all anime protagonists can get together and hang out in some kind of pocket dimension. Asta's worst decision? Asking them for advice on how to woo Noelle.
—
Asta crashed face-first into solid ground.
Again.
He groaned and pushed himself up, brushing dust from his face. What the heck just happened...?
One second he was in the Clover Kingdom, halfway through a training session with Liebe, and the next—bam—a glowing magic circle opened beneath him and dropped him here.
Where was here?
He blinked, staring at his surroundings.
A café.
A literal café, built into what looked like the folds of space itself. Twinkling stars swirled just outside the windows. The walls shimmered like magic barriers, and the barista was... was that a panda wearing a bowtie?
"WELCOME TO THE MULTIVERSAL PROTAGONIST CAFÉ!"
The shout nearly ruptured his eardrums.
Asta whipped his head around—and saw the dumbest, most chaotic grin he'd ever witnessed.
Monkey D. Luffy, standing on a table with a meat drumstick in each hand.
"You're new!" Luffy declared, pointing with both drumsticks. "You smell like romantic confusion!"
"What the—how did I—why are you—?"
Asta's brain blue-screened.
Before he could gather a single coherent thought, a second voice cut in.
"Oi! Did someone say romance trouble?"
Natsu Dragneel somersaulted over the bar, narrowly avoiding a flaming cup of coffee.
Asta looked left.
Naruto. Sitting at a booth with a massive bowl of ramen, waving a chopstick in greeting.
Goku. Floating cross-legged mid-air, casually munching on senzu beans like popcorn.
And—was that... was that Sakata Gintoki? With his nose buried in a shoujo manga?
What was this place?
"Uh," Asta managed. "What is this café, and why are all of you here?"
"You got summoned," Goku said, mouth full. "Happens sometimes when your heart is confused."
"Especially about girls," Naruto added.
"And especially especially when the girl you like keeps calling you a 'peasant' but secretly blushes whenever you smile," Luffy said, leaning so close Asta nearly fell over.
Asta stiffened.
"…How do you know about that?"
"Bro. We're anime protagonists. We know everything about awkward romantic tension," Natsu said, giving him a thumbs-up. "It's basically our job to screw it up for seventy-five episodes before anything happens."
Gintoki flipped a page of his manga. "Some of us still haven't kissed anyone. Ever."
"Same," Naruto muttered, poking at his soup. "Still mad about that one kiss with Sasuke."
Asta's head spun.
This couldn't be real. This had to be some kind of Liebe dream-curse prank.
He pinched himself.
Hard.
"Ow."
Okay. Not a dream.
"You're here because you need help," Goku said, floating down to Asta's level.
"With Noelle, right?"
Asta flushed bright red. "I-I never said anything about—!"
"You didn't have to!" Luffy laughed. "We can smell unresolved feelings."
"I don't like Noelle that way!" Asta blurted. "I mean—I respect her! She's super strong, and kind, and really cool, and—"
"Uh huh," Natsu said, smirking. "Keep telling yourself that, lover boy."
"I-I just think she's amazing, okay?! And lately she's been kinda… different. Not saying much. Always walking away faster. I think I messed something up."
The words spilled out before Asta could stop them.
"I don't get it," he admitted. "Every time I talk to her lately, I feel like she's slipping further away. But I want to make things right."
Luffy slapped a hand on Asta's shoulder.
"Then you came to the right place."
"Time to teach you how to win over the girl of your dreams," Naruto said with a grin.
"With zero subtlety and maximum power," Natsu added.
"And possibly fire," Gintoki offered, still reading.
"I am so confused," Asta whispered.
"Perfect!" Luffy cheered. "Lesson one: Grand gestures!"
Goku nodded. "Girls love big moves. Like dropping out of the sky to save them, or eating a ton of food until they're impressed."
"That doesn't even—what?"
Naruto pointed a chopstick at Asta. "You gotta do something bold, man. Confess your love in front of the entire kingdom! Or buy her fifty dogs! Or paint your face with 'I LOVE NOELLE' and backflip off a building!"
"I don't think any of that will—"
"You're not thinking big enough!" Natsu declared. "How about you fight a giant monster for her? Doesn't matter if there isn't one—just make one and then beat it up!"
"You could even wear a cool costume," Goku added helpfully. "Chicks dig costumes."
Asta stared at them.
Mouth slightly open.
Brain slowly leaking out his ears.
These guys are insane.
But…
But they were heroes. Famous ones.
People who had saved their worlds. Who had faced impossible odds and still won.
Maybe… maybe they knew something he didn't.
Maybe he had been doing it wrong.
Noelle had always seen him as the idiot with no magic. Maybe now it was time to really show her who he was.
Even if it meant doing something ridiculous.
"Alright," Asta said, straightening up. "I'll do it. I'll try your advice."
Luffy grinned. "Attaboy!"
Naruto clapped him on the back. "You won't regret it."
"You absolutely will," Gintoki muttered.
"Let's start with the easy stuff," Natsu said. "Next time you see her—lift a boulder over your head and scream her name!"
"While juggling swords!" Goku added. "That'll get her attention!"
Asta gulped.
This is either going to work... or kill me.
The panda barista placed a glass of something neon and fizzy on the counter.
"First drink's on the house," it said.
He downed it in one gulp.
Mistake.
His vision went white—
And the next moment, he was back in the Clover Kingdom.
Standing in the middle of town square.
In front of at least a hundred people.
Holding a very large rock over his head.
With "I LOVE NOELLE" painted across his shirt in bright red ink.
And Noelle?
Noelle Silva had just walked around the corner.
Her eyes widened.
Her jaw dropped.
She froze in place.
Asta felt the blood drain from his face.
Oh no.
—
Asta's arms shook.
The boulder was heavier than he thought.
Definitely heavier than he should have picked up with zero warning and no warmup.
But the moment had arrived. The crowd stared. Noelle stared. Time itself seemed to hold its breath.
He opened his mouth.
And screamed, "NOELLE, I LOVE YOUUUU—"
The boulder slipped.
It hit his foot.
Asta howled, dropped to one knee, and tried not to cry.
From the corner of his eye, he saw people backing away.
A toddler started crying.
A merchant dropped his fruit basket.
Noelle still hadn't moved.
Her hands were clenched at her sides. Her face was completely red.
Not pink. Not flushed. Crimson.
"You absolute idiot," she said, voice cracking.
Asta winced. "It's not what it looks like—okay, it is, but I swear I had a plan—"
"You painted your shirt."
"I thought it'd be dramatic!"
"You screamed my name in public!"
"They told me to!"
"Who told you?!"
"…Anime protagonists?"
Noelle blinked. "What the hell does that even mean?"
Asta opened his mouth. Then closed it. Then reopened it.
Nothing useful came out.
Noelle turned on her heel and stormed away, stomping so hard her magic flared behind her in bursts of steam.
Asta slumped.
His foot throbbed. His pride ached more.
The crowd slowly resumed life. Someone snorted. Someone else whispered.
Someone threw a tomato.
It missed, but still.
"…Okay," Asta muttered. "That didn't go exactly like the plan."
A low rumble echoed behind him.
Asta glanced back.
The portal had opened again.
The café shimmered in the distance, glowing like some terrible beacon of second chances and worse ideas.
He sighed and limped toward it.
Inside, chaos was already underway.
"—then I told him, obviously she wants you to summon a hundred shadow clones and write haikus about her on the Hokage monument!"
"Why didn't you suggest a fire dragon confession?! Girls love fire dragons!"
"No, no, no—he should've used Instant Transmission to pop up behind her and whisper 'Notice me.'"
Asta shuffled in.
Face drawn. Shirt torn. One shoelace missing.
Luffy saw him and grinned. "You're back!"
"I failed," Asta said.
Gintoki didn't even look up from his manga. "Oh no. What a shocking outcome."
"I think she's mad at me," Asta added. "Like, really mad."
"She's not mad," Naruto said. "She's flustered! That's great!"
"That's progress!" Natsu agreed.
"Absolutely not progress," Gintoki muttered.
"She was this close to blasting me through a wall!"
"See? Strong emotional reaction. Classic tsundere behavior," Luffy nodded.
"I don't think this is tsundere, I think it's pure rage."
"Same thing," Goku said cheerfully.
Asta sat down and buried his face in his hands.
"…Maybe I'm not cut out for this."
"Don't say that!" Naruto said, suddenly serious. "You're just getting started!"
"You need more flare, more drama!" Natsu yelled, flames licking his shoulders.
"No more yelling," Asta groaned. "My throat still hurts."
"New plan!" Luffy announced, punching the air. "Phase two: show her your wild side!"
Asta peeked through his fingers. "…My what?"
"You gotta be unpredictable!" Naruto said. "Keep her guessing!"
"Do something so weird and random that she has to pay attention to you," Natsu added.
"Like dyeing your hair pink!" Goku suggested.
"Like riding a boar through the castle!" Luffy shouted.
"Or challenging Fuegoleon to a staring contest!"
Asta's eye twitched. "Those are terrible ideas."
Gintoki glanced up. "For the record, I once tried dressing as a girl to impress someone. Got punched. A lot."
"…Noted."
"Okay, how about this," Naruto said, leaning forward. "Tomorrow, you write her a love song. Perform it in your squad's training courtyard. Shirtless. With fireworks."
Asta stared at him.
"I don't even know how to play an instrument."
"Perfect," Luffy said. "Raw, chaotic energy! That's what wins hearts!"
"Do you want me to die?" Asta asked.
"Not die," Goku corrected. "Just suffer. Briefly."
Asta groaned into the table.
This is going to kill me.
Still...
Noelle hadn't completely blown him up.
Yet.
Maybe that was progress.
Maybe.
Probably not.
He sighed and sat up.
"Fine. Phase two. Let's do it."
Luffy whooped. Naruto grinned. Natsu fist-pumped.
Gintoki sighed the sigh of a man watching a train about to explode in slow motion.
And so, with renewed dread and absolutely no musical ability, Asta prepared for his next terrible mistake.
—
Asta stood shirtless in front of the Black Bulls' courtyard.
He was freezing.
He was sweating.
He was probably dying.
Beside him stood an instrument he'd barely figured out how to hold.
A battered lute.
Stolen—borrowed—from a street performer who had no idea what Asta meant by "I have to serenade a royal."
Asta strummed.
It sounded like a dying squirrel.
Several of his squadmates winced.
"Don't do this," Finral said, sipping tea from behind the safety of a reinforced barrier.
"Do it," Magna grinned. "I wanna see what happens."
"Why is he shirtless?" Vanessa mumbled.
"Something about passion," Grey whispered.
"Is he bleeding?" Charmy asked, concerned.
"Yes," Gordon nodded. "From the soul."
Asta ignored them all.
His gaze locked onto Noelle, who had just exited the castle in full uniform, hair immaculate, poise flawless—
—and stopped dead when she saw him.
Her eyes widened.
She looked at the lute.
She looked at the hearts painted on the ground in glitter.
She looked at the Black Bulls watching from the shadows.
She looked at Asta.
Her expression said run.
But he didn't.
He strummed again.
Worse this time.
Then he sang.
"Oh Noelle, with your hair so silver and dress so blue—"
Noelle's mouth fell open.
"I'd fight a thousand dragons just to be with youuuu—"
"Stop," she said.
"Your voice, like lightning, your smile, divine—"
"Please stop," louder now.
"Will you, won't you, be my Valentine?"
The last note cracked.
Someone clapped.
Asta wasn't sure who.
He was dizzy. Possibly concussed.
Noelle's eye twitched.
Her face went through fifteen emotions in three seconds.
And then she screamed.
"ARE YOU INSANE?!"
"Yes," Asta said honestly.
Her magic surged.
A geyser of water exploded beneath him.
He soared thirty feet straight up and landed in a nearby tree.
Leaves rained down like confetti.
Noelle turned. Walked away. Said nothing else.
Asta groaned from the branches.
"Still better than yesterday," he mumbled.
"Debatable," Yami called from the door. "You're banned from performing anything within a two-mile radius from now on."
"Understandable," Asta muttered.
The portal opened again that night.
Same glow. Same ominous hum.
He stepped through with the sluggishness of a man who had been humiliated repeatedly in broad daylight.
Inside the café, the usual suspects awaited.
Luffy greeted him with a fist bump.
"Nice work!" he beamed.
"I got launched," Asta said.
"Means she felt something!" Naruto grinned.
"Her foot up my—"
"Progress!" Natsu declared.
"You need more." Goku scratched his head. "Ever consider a magic beast parade?"
Asta stared. "That's not even romantic."
"You're right," Luffy said. "Next time, write her name on a giant blimp and crash it into her bedroom window."
"Perfect," Naruto nodded. "Symbolism."
Asta dropped into a chair.
"I'm starting to think... you guys are bad at this."
Everyone went quiet.
For one second.
Then Gintoki leaned back, deadpan.
"You're just realizing that?"
"I believed in the dream!" Asta protested. "You guys are all heroes! You beat villains! You save the world!"
"We don't get girls," Gintoki replied flatly.
"I got married!" Naruto offered.
"Off-screen. Barely counts."
"I have kids!"
"Doesn't mean you know how it happened."
Asta's head hit the table again.
Why am I listening to these people?
"You should start a food fight next time," Natsu offered.
"Declare war on another kingdom in her name," Luffy added.
"Cut your name into a volcano!"
"No more volcanos!" Asta shouted.
Gintoki snorted. "You sure you don't wanna hear what the normal guys have to say?"
Asta blinked. "Who?"
Gintoki pointed to a quieter corner.
Ichigo, Midoriya, and Tanjiro sat there, sipping tea, radiating common sense.
Tanjiro waved. Smiled warmly.
Midoriya looked like he'd been taking notes.
Ichigo looked bored but sane.
"…Nah," Asta said.
Gintoki stared. "You what?"
"I'm in too deep now. I have to commit."
Gintoki sighed.
"You're gonna die."
"Maybe." Asta stood. "But if I die, it'll be dramatic."
He turned back to the chaotic circle.
"Alright," he said. "Phase three. What's next?"
Luffy grinned.
Naruto cracked his knuckles.
Natsu lit his fists on fire.
Goku laughed.
And Gintoki whispered a quiet prayer for Noelle.
—
The next morning, Asta was meditating.
Kind of.
Mostly, he was upside down on a branch with a bucket over his head.
Goku had said it would "align his spirit."
It mostly aligned the blood rushing to his skull.
"This is fine," Asta whispered. "It's part of the training."
Below, birds chirped.
Somewhere in the castle, Noelle was yelling at Luck for accidentally electrifying a chandelier.
Asta sighed.
He couldn't face her yet.
Not after the song incident.
Or the water geyser.
Or the fact that he'd crash-landed on her table.
He was still picking pine needles out of his teeth.
The portal shimmered beside him.
Right on schedule.
He dropped down, limped over, and stepped in.
The café was loud.
As usual.
Goku was arm wrestling Natsu. (Well Natsu was arm wrestling, Goku was using his pinky). Luffy was asleep in a bowl of meat. Naruto was trying to explain romance using chakra metaphors no one understood.
Asta walked past all of them.
For once, he didn't sit at that table.
He turned.
And walked to the corner.
Ichigo raised an eyebrow.
Midoriya blinked. "Wait—he's coming here?"
Tanjiro scooted over and smiled. "Hey, Asta."
Asta sat.
Slumped.
Tired.
"…Hi."
They waited.
He didn't speak.
Just stared into his cup.
Finally, Ichigo broke the silence.
"Want real advice or another public execution?"
Asta groaned.
"I don't know anymore."
Tanjiro leaned in. "You really like Noelle, huh?"
"More than anything."
"Then maybe… stop trying to be someone else?"
Midoriya nodded. "It's not about the show. It's about honesty."
Ichigo sipped his tea. "Or at least don't show up shirtless with a glitter lute."
Asta winced. "Yeah. That was… rough."
Tanjiro chuckled softly. "You've always fought from the heart, right? That's what people admire. That's what she admires."
"She's just hard to read," Asta muttered. "I can't tell if she's mad or embarrassed or both."
"She's Noelle," Ichigo said. "That's her brand."
Midoriya pulled out a notebook. "I made a chart. Based on her behavior patterns, she's flustered ninety percent of the time around you."
"Wait—a chart?"
"Yep!" Midoriya flipped it open. "Look here: angry blush, confused blush, bashful blush—see this spike right after the shirtless performance?"
"I'm not sure if that's reassuring or terrifying."
Tanjiro placed a hand on Asta's shoulder.
"Just talk to her. Normally. No screaming, no fire, no flying wildlife."
Asta stared at them.
It sounded too easy.
Too normal.
But also…
Kind of smart.
"…Thanks," he said, genuinely.
"Glad we could help," Tanjiro smiled.
Then Naruto shouted from across the room, "Asta! I found a water dragon costume you can wear while confessing again!"
Midoriya paled.
Ichigo groaned.
Goku was already grabbing props.
"Gotta go," Asta said quickly, standing. "Before they involve explosives again."
"You could just not listen to them," Ichigo suggested.
But Asta was already walking away.
Tanjiro sighed. "Well, we tried."
Back at the chaos table, plans were underway.
Luffy slammed a scroll on the table. "New mission: win her heart through combat!"
"Ambush her with a duel confession!" Natsu grinned.
"She likes fighting, right?" Goku nodded.
Asta sat down, expression torn.
"I did say I wanted to be honest..."
"But nothing says honest like battle!" Naruto added. "You vs. Fuegoleon for her honor!"
"What's your problem with Captain Fuegoleon?!"
"He's stealing my Salamander bit!"
"T-that… that's besides the point! She'll kill me."
"Worth it."
"Ichigo told me not to listen to you guys."
Everyone stared.
Then burst out laughing.
"You listened to Ichigo?!"
"He wears black every day and broods in corners!"
"He's so boring!"
"He probably kisses with his eyes open!"
"He fumbled Rukia!"
"And Riruka!"
"Don't forget about Nel!"
"Gross! She's a child. Ayo, someone get the world government in here, this rubber freak needs to be locked away!"
"What was that flame brain?!"
"You heard me! Does D. stand for Diddy?!"
As Luffy lunged at Natsu, Asta exhaled.
They're all insane.
But…
He kind of loved them for it.
He smirked.
"Alright," he said. "One more idea. No glitter. No explosions. Just impact."
Naruto grinned.
"Let's make it epic."
—
The wind howled.
The air tasted like iron.
And Asta—shirt now back on, but sanity questionable—stood in the shadows of a new corner of the café.
He wasn't entirely sure how he got here.
One minute he'd said "I want to be impactful"…
The next, he was dragged behind the bar and down a hidden staircase.
It smelled like blood and bad decisions.
The lighting? Crimson.
The company? Unsettling.
"Sit," said the one-eyed man in armor.
Asta sat.
Mostly out of fear.
Guts glared at him like he wanted to carve his spine out.
Next to him, Thorfinn sharpened a blade against another blade.
Eren sat backward on a chair, hands folded, eyes wild with apocalyptic energy.
Musashi meditated without breathing.
Kaneki stirred sugar into tea, smiling.
Too calmly.
Asta cleared his throat.
"So… you guys give love advice too?"
Guts said nothing.
Eren leaned forward.
"When you love someone… you make them feel it."
Asta blinked. "Okay, yeah, I can get behind that."
"You break the world for them."
"Less behind that."
"You chain your destiny to theirs," Kaneki whispered, still smiling. "Even if it means becoming a monster."
"Or a weapon," Thorfinn added, eyes vacant. "Make yourself the sword. Let her wield you."
Asta began sweating.
"I'm starting to think I walked into the wrong basement…"
"No. This is truth," Musashi said. "Bathe in chaos. Conquer her heart like a battlefield."
"Write her name in your blood across the capital," Eren suggested.
"Eat a part of her soul to prove commitment," Kaneki offered.
Asta stood.
Slowly.
Smiling nervously.
"Appreciate the… energy, really, I do. Just gonna—just gonna walk away now."
Guts didn't move.
Just growled.
"Coward."
"I prefer alive."
Asta bolted.
Back upstairs.
Back into the light.
The moment he stepped through the café doors, he collapsed face-first into a chair.
Ichigo raised an eyebrow from across the room.
"You went downstairs, didn't you?"
Asta moaned.
"They told me to bleed devotion."
"Yikes."
Midoriya whispered something about therapy.
Tanjiro passed over a cup of water.
"You good?"
"Not remotely."
Then Luffy shouted, "There you are!"
Asta winced.
He turned to see the usual crew running toward him—Naruto, Goku, Natsu, Gintoki.
Holding what looked like a banner.
It read: SAY IT WITH FIRE.
"Oh no," Asta whispered.
Goku slapped a dragon mask on him.
Natsu handed him a torch.
Naruto strapped a fireworks belt around his waist.
"You're going to confess mid-air, during a full spiral spin dive," Luffy explained.
"What about subtlety?" Asta asked.
"Who's that?" Gintoki said.
Ichigo sighed in the background.
"You know what? Let him burn."
Midoriya took more notes.
Tanjiro prayed again.
Asta stared at the mirror behind the bar.
He looked ridiculous.
Scorched.
Mentally damaged.
Wearing fake dragon wings and a belt of explosives.
"Noelle's gonna kill me," he muttered.
But he smiled anyway.
Because somewhere deep down…
Asta still believed.
There had to be a right way to do this.
Even if he had to crash into a wall or two first.
—
Asta didn't show up at the café for two days.
Not after the fire.
Not after he accidentally skydived through Noelle's shower.
She nearly drowned him in a sinkhole.
It took Yami, Charlotte, and five kitchen workers to pull her off.
So yeah. Two days.
He spent them hiding under the staircase at HQ, eating dry oats.
He needed a new plan.
Not another explosion.
Not another fight.
And definitely not another monologue about devouring souls.
No. This time, he wanted brains.
So he did the unthinkable.
He approached the genius table.
"...You're sure this is the right place?" he asked, peeking around the corner.
The table was quiet.
Too quiet.
Lelouch Lamperouge sat perfectly upright, eyes calculating.
Kiyotaka Ayanokōji was lounging like a snake.
And Light Yagami was writing in his Death Note.
For fun.
Possibly.
Asta stepped closer.
"Hey... I, uh… need help?"
All three looked at him.
Judged him.
Measured him.
Lelouch spoke first.
"Romantic conquest. Age seventeen. Noblewoman target. Blunt personality. Internal tsundere tendencies. You seek... efficiency."
Asta blinked. "Yeah. Pretty much."
Ayanokōji nodded slowly. "You've been relying on chaos. You need calculated strategy."
Light leaned in, smirking. "To win her heart... we must break her worldview."
"Uh… I think her worldview's fine."
"We shall craft a scenario," Lelouch declared, eyes glowing. "One that leaves her no option but to realize her feelings."
"Scenario?"
"You fake a duel challenge. Public setting. High emotional stakes. We manipulate her responses to foster romantic vulnerability."
"You'll need a scripted loss," Ayanokōji added. "No one likes a man who tries too hard to win."
Light snapped his fingers. "And a dramatic reveal. You 'lose,' but confess with tragic finality. Maybe include a rose."
Asta was sweating.
"I don't have roses. I have… swords?"
"Even better," Lelouch whispered. "Use metaphor. A blade represents the heart. Let her see your wounds."
Ayanokōji passed him a notepad. "Here. Memorize this dialogue. Calibrated for optimal emotional manipulation."
Asta looked.
It was a paragraph.
In Latin.
"Uh—what does this even mean?"
"It doesn't matter," Light said. "It's about delivery."
Asta stared.
"…You guys have never dated anyone, have you?"
The silence was deafening.
Lelouch glanced away. He himself still didn't know if him and C.C were a thing.
Ayanokōji checked his phone, whispering something about having an unofficial harem and a girlfriend.
Light cleared his throat and scribbled something that may or may not have been Asta's name.
Seemed like Light never considered his arrangements with Kiyomi and Misa real.
Asta ended up hitting him in his pride.
"…Right," Asta muttered, folding the notepad in half. "Thanks, I guess."
He stood.
Walked off.
Burned the notepad in a trash can.
Didn't even look back.
Ichigo passed him in the hallway and asked how it went.
Asta just said, "They told me to emotionally gaslight the woman I love."
Ichigo nodded. "That's about right."
Midoriya looked scandalized.
Tanjiro handed Asta a cookie.
"Come sit with us again," he said gently. "You look like you've seen war."
"I have," Asta whispered.
He sat.
Took a long, slow bite of the cookie.
Then put his head down on the table.
A single tear leaked out.
It smelled like burnt roses.
—
The café was unusually quiet.
Not silent—never silent—but hushed, like even the cosmos held its breath.
Asta sat in the corner booth. Hood up. Arms crossed. Head bowed.
He hadn't spoken in hours.
Not since the "rose duel."
He'd tried.
He swore he tried.
He followed the geniuses' script, butchered the Latin, tripped over a pebble mid-confession, and accidentally slapped Noelle with a bouquet of thorns.
Again.
It ended with water magic.
Painful water magic.
"I'm a moron," Asta muttered.
He wasn't even sure who he was anymore.
For weeks, he'd chased the perfect approach.
Been a pirate.
A ninja.
A flame-screaming lunatic.
A dark brooding antihero.
A manipulative mastermind.
He was everything but Asta.
And what did it get him?
Burns.
Bruises.
A restraining order from Dorothy's dream realm.
And worse... Noelle had stopped looking him in the eye.
He thought he saw it. That flicker of affection, the way she'd blush, yell, flinch—but never truly walk away.
Now?
She avoided him in hallways.
Wouldn't even tsundere anymore.
That was terrifying.
She was slipping through his fingers.
He leaned back in the booth, staring up at the ceiling.
The café lights blurred.
"I wanted to impress her."
His voice cracked.
"I wanted to be cool. Smooth. Memorable."
But all he'd been was a walking disaster.
Midoriya tried to sit beside him.
Asta waved him off.
Ichigo offered a fist bump.
He didn't raise his hand.
Even Tanjiro's cookies couldn't help this time.
He was spiraling.
Spinning so fast he didn't even notice when a familiar voice finally broke through.
"You look like crap."
Asta blinked.
Turned.
Yuno.
And not the dreamy, glowy Yuno that floats in battle.
This was real Yuno.
Hair messy. Cloak wrinkled. Eyes sharp.
Liebe floated beside him, arms crossed, tail flicking.
Asta was so depressed he didn't even think to question how they ended up here.
"You done playing dress-up?" the devil asked.
Asta didn't answer.
Yuno sighed and slid into the booth across from him.
"I've been watching," he said. "You've tried everything. Everyone."
"Yeah," Asta muttered. "And I still failed."
Liebe clicked his tongue. "You didn't fail. You lied."
"Huh?"
Yuno leaned forward.
"You pretended to be people you're not. You followed plans you didn't believe in. You turned yourself into a joke, and you wonder why she stopped smiling around you?"
Asta winced.
That one hurt.
But it was true.
Liebe dropped onto the table, pointing a clawed finger.
"She doesn't want fireworks. She doesn't want speeches. She doesn't want you to leap out of a pie wearing a loincloth."
"…that only happened once."
"She wants you, idiot."
Asta opened his mouth.
Closed it.
Yuno stared hard.
"She fell for the boy who never gives up. Who believes in everyone. Who trained till his bones broke just to stand beside her. That's the Asta she—"
"Shut up," Asta snapped.
Both Yuno and Liebe blinked.
Asta sat up, fists clenched, eyes burning.
"You don't know how it feels. To want someone so much, it hurts. To mess up every time. To try and try and try until she looks at you like you're a stranger."
Silence.
Asta's breath heaved.
Liebe smiled devilishly.
"Yeah, I got no fucking clue"
Yuno's expression softened, and nodded stoically.
"Me neither"
Asta blinked.
Then laughed.
Once. Bitter.
"Great. Thanks for nothing."
Liebe shrugged. "At least you still have a chance."
Asta frowned. "I do?"
Yuno stood.
"Of course. You're Asta."
He smirked.
"The idiot who beat fate."
Liebe floated beside him.
"Now go be you, damn it."
They walked off.
No dramatic exit.
No sparkle.
Just two people who believed in him.
Asta sat there.
Still for a long time.
Then slowly…
A smile.
Small.
Real.
"…Okay," he whispered. "No more imitations."
He stood.
Cracked his knuckles.
Rolled his shoulders.
And for the first time in weeks—
He felt like Asta.
—
The sky above the café flickered.
It always did when someone made a decision.
The dimension pulsed—soft and slow—as Asta stepped outside.
His breath was steady.
His heartbeat wasn't.
But that was fine.
He wasn't jumping into a dragon's mouth.
He was walking toward Noelle.
No weird stunts.
No disguises.
No scripted speeches or flaming pigs.
Just… himself.
He found her behind HQ.
Alone.
She stood near the training field, arms crossed, watching the sky like it owed her something.
Hair braided. Armor off. Vulnerable, but not weak.
She didn't hear him approach.
Or maybe she did and didn't care.
"Asta," she said flatly.
Still wouldn't look at him.
He stepped beside her.
Not close. Not far.
Hands in his pockets. Sword on his back.
"Hey."
Silence.
A bird chirped in the distance.
Then died mid-note and flew away.
Probably sensed the tension.
Noelle sighed.
"I assume this is the part where you declare something outrageous and blow something up."
Asta laughed.
Just once.
"No explosions today."
"Hmm. Shame."
Another pause.
The wind tugged at her hair.
He stared straight ahead.
"If I say something real," he asked, "will you actually listen this time?"
Noelle's eyes narrowed.
She glanced sideways.
Then, finally, looked at him.
"I'll listen."
He nodded.
Swallowed.
And spoke.
"I'm sorry."
She blinked.
"What?"
"I've been stupid. Like... extra stupid. I thought if I acted cool, or funny, or dramatic enough, you'd notice me more. Like me more. Fall for me harder."
Her lips parted slightly.
"I tried to be a pirate. A ninja. A genius. Even a devil-possessed tragic hero… there seems to be a lot of that archetype, w-wait that's not the point!"
"Then what is the point?" Noelle raised a brow.
"The point is… none of that worked", Asta responded.
He then smiled at the ground.
"I just made a mess. Hurt you. Confused you. Scared you, maybe."
"…You didn't scare me," she muttered.
He chuckled.
"You blew me through three walls."
"That was training."
They shared a short, awkward silence.
Then Asta continued.
"I guess what I'm trying to say is…"
He turned.
Faced her fully.
"I like you. A lot. And not because you're strong or royal or drop-dead gorgeous—though, yeah, those are all true."
Noelle's face turned pink.
"But I like you. The way you yell at me when I'm dumb. The way you fight like you've got something to prove, even when you don't. The way you protect people and never ask for credit."
Her lips trembled.
He didn't stop.
"I like the way you care. The way you pretend not to. The way you're always just... you. Even when it's messy."
He stepped closer.
No tricks.
No plan.
Just a boy in love.
"I don't need to be anyone else to impress you. I just need to be me. Asta."
A deep breath.
Then:
"…And if you hate that, that's okay too."
Noelle stared at him.
Eyes wide.
Mouth barely open.
A thousand thoughts crashed behind them, none of them reaching her lips.
Asta rubbed the back of his neck.
"Heh. That was probably a lot."
He turned.
Started to walk away.
Then—
"Wait."
He froze.
Turned back.
Noelle stepped forward.
One step. Then another.
Close enough to touch.
Her cheeks were flushed.
Her hands clenched.
Her voice soft.
"…I didn't hate it."
Asta's heart stuttered.
Noelle looked up.
Eyes locked on his.
"I hated the flaming roses. The screaming. The weird Latin."
"Yeah. That was… yeah."
"But I never hated you."
He didn't breathe.
Couldn't.
Noelle scowled, then punched him lightly in the chest.
"You idiot."
He grinned.
"I missed you too."
She groaned.
Then, before he could blink—
She kissed his cheek.
Fast.
Sharp.
Like a lightning strike.
He froze.
Mouth wide.
Eyes staring into space.
Noelle cleared her throat.
"…Don't get used to that."
"I won't. I mean—I will? I—"
She turned and walked off.
Hair bouncing.
Shoulders straight.
He watched her go.
Then whispered to himself:
"I am never listening to Goku again."
—
The café was louder now.
Chairs scraped. Voices overlapped. Cups clinked against saucers.
The energy was back.
Because he was back.
Asta kicked open the door.
Head high. Grin wide.
No disguise.
No costumes.
No fake personas.
Just Asta.
Sword on his back. Heart on his sleeve.
The room fell silent.
Naruto slurped his ramen slower.
Luffy paused mid-bite, spaghetti dangling from his mouth.
Natsu sniffed the air like he could smell the shift.
Even Goku blinked.
Asta strode to the center of the café.
Tapped a spoon against a teacup.
Clink. Clink. Clink.
"Hey!" he yelled.
Everyone turned.
"I appreciate all your... creative advice. I really do."
Gintoki raised a brow. "Even the part where you faked your death in front of her to 'test her love'?"
Asta winced. "Okay maybe not that one."
Light scribbled something in a notebook.
Ayanokōji didn't look up.
Lelouch adjusted his gloves like it personally offended him to be present.
Asta continued.
"I just came to say: I'm done pretending."
Murmurs rose.
He pointed at Ichigo, Deku, and Tanjiro.
"You guys were right. I should've listened. Thanks for not giving up on me."
Ichigo gave a simple nod.
Midoriya smiled sheepishly.
Tanjiro clapped like a proud parent.
Asta turned to the others.
"And you chaos-brains—thank you for... entertainment. But from now on, I'm doing things my way."
Luffy laughed and raised his cup. "You do you, muscle boy!"
"HELL YEAH!" Natsu roared, punching the air.
Naruto just gave a thumbs up, mouth full of noodles.
Asta grinned and turned to leave.
But paused.
Glanced back.
"Also," he added, "if any of you come near Noelle again with a 'love strategy,' I will personally slice your hair off."
Silence.
Saitama looked horrified.
"Not the hair."
Asta walked out.
And didn't look back.
—
Back in his own world, things felt brighter.
Or maybe it was just him.
He'd stopped trying to be something he wasn't.
Stopped running from his own feelings.
Stopped fearing the fallout of being honest.
Now, every time he saw Noelle, she didn't look away.
She didn't shout, or flinch, or summon a tidal wave.
Well. Sometimes she still shouted.
But it was softer now.
And when he smiled, she smiled back.
They still weren't official.
But something had changed.
She sat closer now.
Laughed more.
Rolled her eyes a little less.
And when she thought he wasn't looking—
She stared at him like he was magic.
The real kind.
The kind he never needed to steal or fake.
Just… Asta.
That was enough.
And maybe, just maybe—
More than enough.