Eve sat on my bed, her mouth slightly open. She blinked silently, clearly stunned.
I could see she was in shock. What I had just told her had shaken her deeply. She couldn't believe what had happened at Felix's birthday party.
"It wasn't just that he had a paranoid personality," I said, nervously twisting my hands. "He had been obsessed with me since elementary school. I was a threat to him, and he was a threat to me—and to other people."His parents had thought he was getting better, but meeting me had unleashed the madness in him all over again.
The blonde furrowed her brows and leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees. She looked like she was piecing something together.
"That was strange. He had been obsessed with you since elementary school, so why did he only really notice you after the Mike incident?"
"The school was huge. He had never paid special attention to any girls. Besides, I had changed a lot over the years—he might not have even recognized me," I explained.
"What if he had been watching you from the shadows all along? Think back to the beginning... You told me that when you were chatting with Mike, Felix was staring at you, his eyes full of love."
"You meant when you joked he was in love with his friend?"
"At the time, I thought it was weird that he'd look at you that way—he barely knew you. But now... it was starting to make sense." Eve covered her mouth with her hands. "God, it was even scarier thinking he had been watching you secretly all that time. He knew who you were... so what was he waiting for?"
A chill ran down my spine.
"Why would he wait? It seemed like he would try to get close to me from the start."
"Or maybe he was waiting for the perfect moment to strike."
"Were you crazy?" I slapped her hand away, glaring at her. "Don't turn him into a monster. Okay, he had problems and needed help, but he wasn't a psychopath."
"Then what was he?" she asked, her voice quiet but sharp. "How did he treat you? Like you were his possession. You couldn't break free from him. He controlled you."
I looked out the window, a tear slipping down my cheek.
"I couldn't explain it, Eve... I loved him so much, but I was terrified. I knew I had to break away because his parents were already planning to move away, to another city, for his treatment. I knew we'd have to part soon, but it hurt so badly. My heart ached just thinking about it."
"Remember this—he was a danger to you. You would never find happiness like this. Eventually, it would become a prison. You'd end up locked away in some basement, and it would be hell."
I pushed my hair back and sighed heavily. I knew Eve was right, but what could I do when I still loved him so much?
*
The last days of school were beautiful, with the scent of vacation already in the air. But this year, unfortunately, I couldn't be happy.
I sat on the grass court, watching the boys play basketball. My best friend was next to me, fiercely typing out messages on her phone. Meanwhile, I kept my eyes on Felix, wondering if he was the main cause of my gloom.
He pretended everything was fine. Since his birthday, he acted as if nothing had happened between us. I helped him keep up the facade so no one would suspect something was wrong.
I didn't know if Felix truly ignored it, or if I had become so practiced at forcing a smile that he simply didn't notice.
Something strange was happening to me. Although I still loved him deeply, I could no longer be happy in his presence. Everything had changed after that night—after the way he had treated me in the bathroom and at the hotel.
A vague feeling clouded my mind. On one hand, I didn't want to leave him; on the other, I desperately wanted to. I wished he would leave me alone so I could breathe freely.
But instead, I felt suffocated—as if trapped in a cage.
"This is the definitive end," my friend's voice pulled me out of my thoughts. She put her phone down and looked ahead. "Sebastian and I have nothing to do with each other anymore. We're just acquaintances who didn't work out."
I wished, like her, that I could simply end a relationship and breathe freely.
"What happened that made you decide that?" I asked.
"I told him I kissed my soulmate on my birthday and had butterflies in my stomach."
I shifted my puzzled gaze to Mike, who was just aiming the ball at the basket.
"Why didn't I know anything about that?"
"I've been wondering about it myself. It's strange because before that, Sebastian was just a friend—he's gay. There was no question of romantic feelings."
My friend was a sweetheart. Breakups and new loves came easily to her.
I didn't know whether to envy her.
"So just like that, you already had a crush on Sebastian, just because you felt butterflies around Mike?"
"With Sebastian, it was a weak infatuation. With my soulmate, I feel so different," she said with a smile. "Ah, those teenage hormones."
Well… I had noticed long ago that they were growing closer. I wanted her to leave Sebastian and focus on Mike.
At least I was satisfied with that.
"I'm glad you made that decision."
"I'll be happy when you finally make the right decision, too," she said, placing a hand on my shoulder. "I'm worried about you, Selena."
I didn't answer. I just watched Felix as he shoved a teammate who had accidentally bumped into him during the game. Sometimes he acted too aggressively over trivial things.
After all, the other boy hadn't done it on purpose and had even apologized. So why did Felix keep attacking him?
Mike put his arm around Felix's shoulder, whispering something in his ear to calm him down. It was a relief that at least someone could tame this beast.
They both walked over to us, sat on the grass, and drank water. I kept watching Felix, wondering what was going on inside his head.
"Why are you looking at me like that?" he asked as he capped his water bottle. "Is something wrong?"
"Why did you attack him? He didn't bump into you on purpose. It was an accident."
"Because he weaves around the court like a wimp. He can't play. I don't know what he's doing on the team," Felix said coldly.
I glanced at Eve and Mike, who were whispering together. I wasn't sure if they were flirting, but they looked charming—and I envied them for it. I had felt that way once, before my relationship with Felix turned into hell.
"The sun's heating up so much, I'm starting to feel bad. I think I'll go home," I declared.
"In that case, I'll walk you out," Felix said. "Give me five minutes. I'll freshen up and change, then I'll come back to you, okay?"
I nodded weakly, forcing a smile.
As he walked away, tears welled in my eyes. I felt my friends' eyes on me, so I hid my face between my knees.
"What's wrong?" Eve asked gently.
"Selena, is something wrong?" Mike's voice was full of concern.
I lifted my face to them, my eyes wet with tears. I felt broken and worse each day.
"I'm lost. I don't know what to do…"
They both hugged me tightly as I cried into their arms. I was lucky to have them by my side.
It was late evening, and I sat on my bed, my back resting against the pillow. I scrolled through my phone, thinking about how comforting Mike's words had been while Felix was changing.
"Remember, your happiness is the most important thing. You won't be happy suffering in a relationship, even if you love that person deeply. Think about yourself, Selena. It's your life—no one has the right to control it. And I say this not to betray my best friend, but because it's true."
I opened my photo gallery. Three-quarters of the images were of Felix, the rest were selfies of me or pictures with my friend.
Why did my first love have to be so painful? My first love…
The phone beeped with a new message. It was from Felix:
"We need to meet. We need to talk."
I didn't know why, but a strange anxiety gnawed at me. Something felt wrong. Maybe I was just overreacting.
"Okay, let's meet."
"I'm waiting outside your house."
I got up and looked out the window. Dusk had already fallen, but I could see Felix's silhouette. He was pacing nervously in front of the fence.
Something must have happened…
When I left the house, my parents weren't in the living room. They were probably already in their bedroom, so without saying a word, I closed the door behind me. I took my phone in case they wanted to know where I was.
My heart pounded as I faced Felix. His sharp gaze warned me that nothing good awaited.
"Did something happen?" I asked cautiously.
His diabolical smile was his only answer.
"Let's take a walk."
I did as he suggested, walking beside him, growing more nervous with every step.
Felix was acting strange.
"You knew, didn't you? You've known for a long time," he began. I furrowed my brows, not understanding. "You schemed with my mother. You did it behind my back. It wasn't just some meeting where she asked you to break up with me, was it, Selena?"
A lump rose in my throat. I couldn't speak.
"You're silent. You don't defend yourself. You don't answer… which means it's true."
"I didn't plot with your mother. She just told me about your problem, Felix."
He stopped and grabbed my arm roughly, pulling me in front of him. His eyes were wild, demonic.
"Don't even think about getting rid of me! I'll do everything so that no one can separate us. I'm not an idiot. I'm not going to be shipped off to another city for treatment. It's not me who has the problem—it's my parents. My mother wants to control me forever."
"Your mother's worried about you," I said calmly.
"She wants to imprison me! She hates me!" he yelled. I closed my eyes, knowing I couldn't reason with him. He blamed everyone but himself. He was sick.
"Even though you're an adult, your parents still have the right to decide because you're ill," I said, touching his cheek gently. "You can't escape it. You have to get treatment. It's the only way we can stay together."
With those words, I opened Pandora's box.
"I have to treat myself to stay with you!" he screamed, squeezing my hand hard just below my shoulder. "So you plotted with my mother? You want to get rid of me because someone else caught your eye? I was right—who's the bastard? I'll kill him!"
"There's no one else. The problem is you!"
"I'm not listening to this nonsense," he growled. He pulled me close, wrapping his arms around me from behind. He pressed a handkerchief to my face that smelled strange. Then I started drifting away.
I felt dizzy and overwhelmingly sleepy. The last thing I heard him say was:
"Everything will be fine, Selena. No one will separate us. I promise."