I was supposed to sleep with him, not love him. I was supposed to use his body, not crave his comfort. I was supposed to leave, not need to stay.
But I had crossed that line. Quietly. Unknowingly. And by the time I noticed, it was too late.
I was already in love with him. No matter how much I admitted it to myself, it still didn't feel enough.
And that was the most dangerous part of all.
So I shut down the softness. I smiled when I didn't mean it. I told him I was fine when I wasn't. I forced myself to ignore the little things, like how he made sure there was always tea for me, or how he barely touched his phone unless it was to take a call in another room so I wouldn't be disturbed.
But every time I acted like I didn't care, it cut him.
I could see it.
In the twitch of his jaw. In the way he swallowed before speaking. In how his hand would hover near mine like he wanted to hold it but didn't know if he was allowed anymore.
He made it so fucking hard.