Kara practically collapsed onto the couch, her white dress shifting around her as she sprawled out like a woman who had just conquered the world. Rogue sat down next to her, stretching out and letting herself relax as if she were equally satisfied with how the night had gone. Gwen took her usual chair, leaning back casually but watching Kara with the sharp focus of someone who knew exactly what kind of monster they had just unleashed.
Kara sighed contentedly, her eyes drifting toward the ceiling as she stretched her arms over her head. "I don't think I've had that much fun in years."
Rogue let out a quiet breath, tilting her head toward Kara. "Told you it would be worth it."
Gwen nodded once, her fingers lightly tapping the armrest, calm and sharp as always. "You did better than I thought. Natural talent for villainy."
Kara smiled at that, feeling a warmth in her chest. It wasn't often she got real praise—and for something as delightfully wicked as her first Green Tea manipulation? It was even better. But as the room settled into a calm quiet, the adrenaline fading from her veins, Kara's expression shifted slightly. Her smile softened, and her eyes drifted upward, thoughtful.
"You know," she murmured, her voice quieter now, almost distant, "back in my world, it was never like this."
Gwen raised an eyebrow, her focus sharpening slightly. "Like what?"
Kara waved her hand vaguely through the air, as though trying to capture all the things she couldn't quite say. "All this. Having a harem. Being in control. Actually having fun."
She sat up a little straighter, her playful energy dimming just enough to let something more serious slip through. "Back home, Earth is always under attack. Aliens. Robots. Monsters. You name it. And guess who always has to clean up the mess? Me and my cousin Clark—Superman."
She said his name like it was a chore, an obligation that never quite went away.
"But here's the thing…" Kara continued, her tone shifting, something between exasperation and amusement bubbling under the surface. "It's always the same. These crazy, overpowered aliens show up like clockwork, obsessed with destroying Earth for no reason. But you know what I've realized?"
She leaned forward, lowering her voice as though sharing a great secret, her eyes gleaming now with a sharp, clever light.
"They're all in love with Clark."
Rogue blinked, caught off guard. Gwen stilled, tilting her head slightly as though trying to decide if Kara was joking.
"I'm serious!" Kara threw up her hands. "All these freaky alien warlords, generals, space tyrants—they keep coming to Earth to fight him like it's their full-time job!"
She sat up fully now, her hands moving animatedly as she spoke, her words picking up speed as the realization seemed to fuel her. "There's Mongul—giant, ugly space tyrant. Ob-sessed with Clark. Always wants to fight him 'mano a mano.'"
Gwen blinked. "Okay, but—"
Kara cut her off, holding up a finger. "Then there's Darkseid. You know what he calls Clark? 'My Kryptonian.'" She made a face like she'd tasted something sour. "Gross."
Rogue leaned forward, intrigued despite herself. "Seriously?"
Kara nodded emphatically. "And don't even get me started on Brainiac. Like, you collect cities, dude. Why do you need Clark so badly? There are a million other planets with cool cities. But no. All of them? Laser-focused on my cousin."
She stood up suddenly, pacing now as though the energy of her revelation was too much to sit still with.
"It's like… a villain harem. A male villain harem."
Rogue let out a low laugh, shaking her head. "You're serious."
Kara spun around on her heel, pointing at Rogue with conviction. "I'm dead serious. Clark has a whole group of creepy, unattractive guys following him around the galaxy, obsessed with him. And you know what? He has no idea."
Dropping back onto the couch, Kara threw her arms over the back, her expression almost gleeful now.
In a deep, exaggeratedly heroic voice, she mimicked Superman. "Gosh, Lois, I don't know why Darkseid keeps showing up. Must be because of Earth's strategic value."
She rolled her eyes, slumping further into the couch. "No, Clark. It's because they all want you."
Gwen's lips twitched slightly, her gaze fixed on Kara as though she couldn't quite believe how fast Kara had connected these dots. "So you're saying your cousin is basically the male lead of a shoujo anime surrounded by possessive, psychotic admirers?"
Kara pointed at her immediately. "Exactly! And he doesn't even realize it! I mean, I figured this out thanks to you guys. Watching my own harem of insanely hot women taught me the signs."
She threw her hands out, gesturing dramatically to Rogue and Gwen. "See, I got lucky. My harem? Beautiful. Deadly. Completely obsessed with me, but at least they're hot."
"Clark? His harem is a nightmare parade. Seven-foot-tall angry warlords, skull-faced guys, robots with tentacles—the whole works."
Rogue leaned her elbow on the back of the couch, watching Kara with something between amusement and admiration. "So what you're saying is, you definitely got the better deal."
Kara let out a long, satisfied sigh. "Oh, absolutely."
She leaned back, stretching out, her eyes gleaming as she looked up at the ceiling. "You know, for years, I wondered why Earth got attacked so much. Why all these freaky aliens seemed to take one look at Clark and decide to make Earth their vacation home."
Her gaze flicked between Gwen and Rogue, her smile sharp but playful.
"Now I know. They were all just thirsty for him."
Gwen rested her chin in her hand, eyes narrowing thoughtfully. "Makes sense. Power attracts power. And your cousin's basically top dog."
Kara waved her hand dismissively. "Yeah, but they could've picked someone else. No, they all want Clark. Probably have posters of him on their spaceship walls."
Rogue let out a soft laugh. "Wonder what he'd say if he knew."
Kara sat up again, mimicking Superman's voice in a mockingly serious tone. "'Lois, I just don't understand why Mongul keeps showing up to fight me shirtless.'"
She burst out laughing, shaking her head, and Rogue and Gwen couldn't help but laugh along with her.
Finally, Kara sighed, stretching her arms over her head. "Well, I'm just glad my harem is gorgeous and actually competent."
Gwen leaned back in her chair, watching Kara with a quiet, amused look. "You realize now that you've figured this out, you're never going to see his fights the same way again."
Kara's smile widened as she leaned back into the couch, totally at ease. "Oh, I know. And the next time he calls me for backup, I'll be thinking, 'Aw, poor Supersimp and his creepy alien boyfriends.'"
The sound of their laughter filled the room as the city lights outside flickered against the windows, and Kara sat there, perfectly content, absolutely sure that she had won the harem lottery—and her cousin Clark? He had won the worst collection of obsessed stalkers in the galaxy.
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