[Lavinia's Pov]
EXTRA! EXTRA! READ ALL ABOUT IT!
No, seriously.
Read. All. About. It.
Because apparently, the very moment my father—the scariest, grumpiest, broodiest emperor in the entire history of monarchies (and possibly in the history of human emotion)—unveiled my brand-new castle wing made entirely of literal diamonds and gold…
…the whole empire just collectively lost its mind.
I mean—how? How did we go from "Happy birthday, beautiful princess" to "The economy is in cardiac arrest"?
The headlines in today's newspapers are more dramatic than the final chapters of a tragic romance novel and funnier than any scripted court jester joke.
Just… look at this headline mess:
THE ROYAL WHISPER:
"SEVEN-YEAR-OLD PRINCESS RECEIVES CASTLE WING MADE ENTIRELY OF DIAMONDS — PUBLIC STILL RECOVERING FROM SHOCK"
"Witnesses report temporary blindness from the sheer sparkle. Sources claim the Emperor smiled. twice. Investigation ongoing."
THE COURT GOSSIPER:
