Jihoon walked beside Taeyeon, his wallet significantly thinner and his soul weighed down with regret. The memory of premium Hanwoo beef sizzling on the grill lingered in his mind—both mouthwatering and painfully expensive.
He had entered the restaurant with dignity, but left as a man financially battered, his self-respect cooked to perfection alongside the hanwoo.
But at least it was over.
Or so he thought.
The cold night air was crisp, and the streets were unusually quiet as they neared Taeyeon's dorm.
Jihoon shoved his hands into his pockets, letting out a long exhale. "Alright," he muttered. "I think that settles things. The debt is paid, right?"
Taeyeon tilted her head slightly as she walked beside him, her lips curling into a mischievous smirk. "Debt?" she echoed, feigning innocence.
Then, with a glint of pure mischief in her eyes, she added, "Oh, Jihoon… you poor, clueless boy."
Jihoon slowed his steps, his stomach twisting into a knot. "What... what do you mean?" He had seen that look before—right before she completely derailed his life with her nonsense.
Taeyeon clasped her hands behind her back and rocked on her heels. "Have you never heard of the Taeyeon Tax?"
Jihoon blinked. "The what now?"
"The Taeyeon Tax," she repeated, her voice dripping with amusement. "A small, lifelong fee for the privilege of being in my presence. It includes, but is not limited to: snacks, coffee and occasional luxury meal—"
Jihoon choked. "Occasional?! Are you kidding me? We just had a meal that probably required a bank loan!"
Taeyeon waved him off dismissively.
"Think of it as a long-term investment," she declared with a smirk. "One day, when I become a global superstar, you can proudly say you played a crucial role in my journey."
Jihoon shot her a tired look. "And what exactly am I investing in?"
She grinned, tapping a finger against her chin as if the answer were obvious. "Taeyeon herself."
Jihoon groaned, dragging a hand down his face. "I don't remember signing up for this ridiculous venture."
Taeyeon gasped theatrically. "Oh my gosh! You don't remember?"
She clutched her chest as if she had just been stabbed—like an overly dramatic, untalented actress—then, with sorrowful eyes, she said, "Jihoon, how could you forget our sacred, unspoken contract that binds us together?"
"Because it's unspoken!" Jihoon shot back, exasperation seeping into his voice as he shut down her ridiculous performance.
"Minor details," she waved him off casually. "The point is, you're already in too deep. No backsies."
Jihoon stared at her, dead inside. "I hate this."
She beamed. "You love this."
They reached her dorm, and Jihoon let out a relieved breath. Finally. He had survived. He had paid the price—literally—and now he was free.
Or so he really thought.
Just as Jihoon turned to leave, Taeyeon clapped her hands together, her eyes twinkling with mischief. "Oh! And just a reminder—I usually enjoy a snack once a week, so be a dear and have it sent over soon."
Jihoon froze mid-step. His eye twitched. Slowly, painfully, he turned back around. "Excuse me?"
Taeyeon flashed him the sweetest, most innocent smile. "Taeyeon tax. You promised. Remember?"
Jihoon racked his brain. When the hell did I— Then it hit him. Oh.
Jihoon opened his mouth, closed it, and exhaled through his nose. "This is extortion."
Taeyeon nodded sagely. "No, this is the Taeyeon Tax. And you, my dear Jihoon, are bound to pay it for life."
Then, her expression darkened, the playful glint in her eyes sharpening into something almost ominous. With a voice laced with unwavering conviction, she declared, "And the price of your betrayal..."
Jihoon stared at her, wondering how he had reached this point in his life. He should have run while he had the chance. Maybe if he changed his name and fled the country—
"So?" Taeyeon interrupted his thoughts. "Are we going now, or do I need to add interest?"
Jihoon let out a heavy sigh, already trudging toward the nearest convenience store. "I hate this."
Taeyeon cheerfully skipped after him, her laughter ringing through the night. "You love this."
Now, inside the convenience store, the battle began.
Jihoon pinched the bridge of his nose, staring in horror at the ever-growing pile in the shopping cart. "Taeyeon, for the love of all things rational, put at least half of this back."
Without waiting for an argument, he grabbed a handful of snacks and started returning them to the shelves.
Taeyeon gasped as if he had just committed an unforgivable crime, clutching a family-sized bag of honey butter chips to her chest like he had threatened her firstborn.
"Excuse me? These are essentials, Jihoon. Essentials." And without missing a beat, she reached into the cart and put back everything he had removed.
And so, the cycle began.
Jihoon removed snacks. Taeyeon replaced them. Jihoon sighed. Taeyeon ignored him.
"Essential to what?" Jihoon demanded, watching as yet another box of Pepero found its way back into the cart. "Developing an early-stage sugar addiction?"
His eyes darted to the instant ramen, imported chocolates, and absurdly overpriced desserts she had casually tossed in.
Taeyeon scoffed, completely unfazed. "No. Essential to my happiness. And since you're already footing the bill, might as well go all out."
She pouted, hugging a box of Pepero like it was a childhood treasure. "Besides, I'm an idol, Jihoon. I burn calories faster than you can complain."
"You literally just ate enough Hanwoo to feed a small village!"
Before Taeyeon could form a rebuttal, a familiar voice chimed in.
"Wow, this is better than cable TV."
Both turned to see Yoona standing there, arms crossed, amusement dancing in her eyes.
She had come in to grab a few snacks herself but had instead stumbled upon the ultimate free entertainment.
"Oh, great," Jihoon muttered, his shoulders slumping in surrender. "Another freeloader." Now, with two SNSD members in the picture, retaliation was almost impossible.
Yoona ignored him and grinned mischievously. "So.. unnie, when's the wedding?"
"What?!" Jihoon and Taeyeon yelled in unison, their faces turning varying shades of red.
"Don't be ridiculous!" Jihoon sputtered. "This—this is not a couple thing!"
"Exactly!" Taeyeon nodded fiercely. "This is more of a hostage situation!"
Yoona smirked knowingly. "Mhm. Sure."
Before Jihoon could properly defend himself, Yoona casually strolled over to the shopping cart and, without hesitation, added her own pile of snacks.
"Wait—what are you doing?!" Jihoon practically shrieked as he saw Yoona toss in a giant tub of caramel popcorn, three bags of dried squid, and an entire box of banana milk.
"Oh, I just thought since oppa is already treating Taeyeon unnie, you wouldn't mind sponsoring a poor, starving girl like me too." Yoona batted her eyelashes innocently, her voice dripping with feigned sweetness
Jihoon looked between the two of them, realization dawning. "Oh no. No, no, no. I see what's happening. I refuse to be your unlimited snack fund."
"Too late!" Taeyeon chimed, pushing the cart towards the cashier while humming triumphantly.
By the time the cashier announced the total, Jihoon felt his soul leave his body.
"That'll be 1,350,000 won," the cashier said.
Jihoon choked. "Excuse me?!"
"It's just a little over 1,000 dollars," Taeyeon said breezily.
"ON JUNK FOOD?!"
"Correction—oppa is delicious junk food," Yoona corrected, handing Taeyeon a bag of gummies to add last-minute.
Defeated and muttering about impending financial ruin, Jihoon begrudgingly paid the bill. Taeyeon and Yoona, beaming like they had just won the lottery, each grabbed their bags—though the real burden, the heaviest of them all, was left for Jihoon to carry.
With giddy smiles, they linked arms with him and strolled back to the dorm, while he trudged along, drowning in regret.
As soon as Jihoon stepped into the dorm, he realized his suffering was far from over.
"Oh! Look who finally arrived!" Sooyoung called from the couch, her eyes immediately locking onto the bags. "And look at all those snacks!"
Before Jihoon could even process what was happening, Yoona waltzed in, her voice dripping with mock betrayal. "Sooyoung unnie, did you know Jihoon oppa treated Taeyeon unnie to Hanwoo? Twice!"
A beat of silence. Then—
"Wait, wait, hold on—he treated Taeyeon to Hanwoo? Twice!!" Sunny demanded, arms crossed as she leaned forward, her eyes narrowing with suspicion.
"Yeah! What about us?" Hyoyeon chimed in, placing a hand on her hip and faking deep offense. "I thought we were all friends here, Jihoon."
"I—what—I didn't—" Jihoon stammered, his brain struggling to keep up with the sheer speed and intensity of their accusations.
His mistake? Thinking the worst was over.
"Oppa, how could you do this to us?" Yuri dramatically wiped away an imaginary tear.
Seohyun, the only reasonable one, tried to intervene. "Unnie, let's not pressure Jihoon oppa—"
"Oh no, let's pressure him," Tiffany cut in, grinning.
"This is injustice!" Yoona declared, dramatically planting one foot atop the coffee table like a revolutionary leader rallying her troops. She pointed an accusatory finger at Jihoon. "We demand equality for all!"
The dorm erupted.
"So you're saying only Taeyeon gets luxury treatment?" Sooyoung gasped, clutching her chest like she'd just heard the biggest scandal of the century.
Sunny narrowed her eyes. "Jihoon, explain yourself. Right. Now."
Hyoyeon shook her head in disappointment. "Tsk, tsk. And here I thought we had a mutual bond of trust."
"I—what—no, that's not—!" Jihoon tried to defend himself, but the voices overlapped, drowning him out.
He was outnumbered. Doomed.
The dorm erupted into chaos, voices overlapping as they cornered Jihoon. But none of this compared to the real threat looming over him.
Jessica.
Unlike Taeyeon's playful, mischievous glare, Jessica's eyes were pure ice. Her arms were crossed, her expression unreadable, but the chill in the room had dropped significantly.
Jihoon swallowed hard. "I—um—Sica?"
She tilted her head slightly, and for some reason, that was more terrifying than all the other girls combined.
"Why you only treated Taeyeon to Hanwoo?" she asked, her voice soft but somehow carrying the weight of impending doom.
"I—I—"
Jessica's stare intensified, and Jihoon could feel an Arctic wind blast straight through his soul. His brain screamed for survival.
He turned to Taeyeon. "Help me."
Taeyeon, holding a chip halfway to her mouth, simply grinned. "No backsies, remember?" she said smugly before popping the chip in, completely unfazed by the chaos she had just unleashed.
As if this entire uprising had nothing to do with her, she just casually munched away—like the Hanwoo she devoured earlier had already vanished into the abyss of her tiny, yet somehow endlessly hungry, five-foot frame.
Jihoon groaned, rubbing his temples. He was utterly outnumbered.
No one could survive an SNSD revolution without reinforcements—and he had none.
Tonight was going to be a long, merciless night. He already missed the peaceful solitude of his home.
[Author's Note: Heartfelt thanks to Wandererlithe and Daoist098135 for bestowing the power stone!]