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"Harry and I…we don't know each other, I know that. And he doesn't consciously remember loving me so I know if he were to consider the matter, he would believe he doesn't yet, but I think he believes he could love me and wants to love me. I know he loves the idea of me, someone who loves him and who will be there for him, but he doesn't trust that I do and I will yet." He tilted his head. "I won some ground by getting him away from Lily's sister and her family; by keeping my word and ensuring he could come live with me instead."
"For a man whose mind is shrouded in clouds, you see remarkably clearly." Blackhawk said finally.
"The Dementors did a number on me." It was a statement.
"Your mindscape is badly torn." Blackhawk acknowledged. "You require a great deal of mind healing. Your Occlumency has helped you regain some measure of control but you require additional support to regain the rest."
Sirius nodded slowly.
"I would thank you for the report you provided to Doctor Jordan of Harry's childhood. It will help her avoid some pitfalls in his mind healing." Blackhawk paused. "I don't suppose you have one for your own."
Sirius's free hand clenched into a fist and he forced himself to take a breath. "I'm afraid no-one investigated my childhood." There was a keep-out message in his tone and he wasn't surprised when Blackhawk backed off.
"Your body also requires healing." Blackhawk continued. "In that, you and your godson are remarkably similar. You both suffer with malnutrition and physical weakness. I believe it would be best for much of your treatment in this regard to be together." His eyes twinkled. "It will aid in your getting to know each other."
Sirius felt his lips twitch, reluctant amusement swelling at the comment.
"We should speak of Albus Dumbledore." Blackhawk said finally. "You have a lot of anger towards him about the binding on Harry."
"I have a lot of anger towards him full stop." Sirius admitted with frank honesty. "He was primarily responsible for Harry ending up in the custody of the Dursleys. He failed to check on him and failed to ensure Harry was safe with them. He's used Harry since in regards to Voldemort." He gave a sigh. "And I'm not exactly thrilled that he left me to rot in Azkaban without a trial or a visit when I worked as part of his Order against Voldemort." He motioned with his cup. "The binding is just the latest item on my list of things to be angry at Dumbledore for."
Blackhawk nodded slowly in understanding. "The problem with great men is that everyone looks to them to know everything, and quite often they themselves fall into the trap of believing that they do. I believe it so of Albus's actions in regards to the soul anchor and binding. I don't believe he knew how to solve the problem of the soul piece without killing Harry, and thus believing there was no solution, he did the binding to keep the remnant weak."
"Do you know him?" Sirius asked a little rudely.
"We are acquaintances not friends." Blackhawk said. "We met when I toured Europe some years ago." He picked up his water. "Albus is a true master of transfiguration and potions. He made a fascinating dinner companion, and is somewhat useful as a correspondent when we require an expert opinion on spells in order to heal damage such as your uncle's, but we have little else in common. I have dedicated my life to healing just as the rest of the people of the Valley; we learn more and more every day; we learn from the muggles as much as we do from other healers around the world."
Sirius appreciated Blackhawk's honesty. "My apologies for my abruptness." He murmured. "Perhaps you're right and he didn't know how to deal with it. I just…I worry about his motives."
"Consider this," Blackhawk said, "that Halloween night, Albus had reason to believe that this soul hook within Harry was the only anchor to life that Voldemort had. He could have killed the child, believing that to do so would eliminate Voldemort as a threat."
Sirius frowned, his blood running cold at the thought. Merlin, it could have happened too because Dumbledore hadn't known about the other horcruxes at that point.
"Instead, he chose to keep the child alive." Blackhawk said. "However, I admit it is confusing that he has never sought to find a solution in the years since although he may have done with other healers who may also not have known a solution."
"I don't think he did." Sirius said. "We think there may be a prophecy involved."
Blackhawk frowned heavily. "Such things should always be treated with caution. I should know."
Sirius looked at him with interest. "Are you a Seer?"
"Not truly." Blackhawk said eventually. "I always See my clients but that is the extent of my gift. I Saw the image of you and Harry arriving when your uncle shook my hand in farewell. Of course, I thought you would be twenty-seven and Harry would be five when you arrived; when the time passed and you did not come…I believed my Sight had failed for the first time." He smiled ruefully. "I didn't take a de-aging potion into account." He motioned at Sirius. "And so you see why visions and prophecies require careful handling. It is all too easy to discover that what you think they show or mean is something else entirely."
Sirius nodded slowly, his attention shifting again to the boy in the bed. "I just want to keep Harry safe."
"Then we must get you fit enough to face the challenge." Blackhawk stood up.
Sirius followed, stretching to get the kinks out of his back.
"Your other form will be more comfortable for sleeping, I feel." Blackhawk smiled. "Be warned that my colleague takes a dim view of dog hair." He vanished the table and left.
It only took a moment for Sirius to shift into Padfoot. He jumped up on the bed and sidled up to nudge Harry's hand with his cold nose.
So, maybe he wouldn't kill Dumbledore, Sirius mused, mulling over Blackhawk's words; Dumbledore had kept Harry alive and maybe the binding had been to help not hurt so…maybe Sirius would only maim him a little. He closed his eyes and let the warmth of Harry beside him, the sound of Harry's wonderful breathing, lull him to sleep.
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