"Really?"
Ron had already picked out a stone stool and asked curiously.
"I'm a hybrid—a mix of all sorts of nasty creatures," Cohen said bluntly. "Like a cursed evil unicorn, a basilisk, stuff like that."
"You're joking!" Ron said, incredulous.
"Cohen, this isn't the time for jokes…" Harry chimed in, finding it hard to believe. Cohen looked so normal—well, mostly normal. Sure, most ghosts avoided him, Norbert had been scared of him since hatching, and… okay, maybe there were a few odd things.
"I get it if you can't accept it," Cohen said. "I didn't think I could keep this hidden forever anyway. Friends shouldn't have too many dangerous secrets, right? But honestly, I'm fine with it. If you think being around me is too—"
"Too cool!" Ron's eyes lit up. "Can I borrow your dad for a bit? Bringing a basilisk home would shut Fred and George up for sure—"
"Learn from him…" Sisoko grumbled at Cohen.
"Don't be ridiculous. Even if you're really part basilisk or whatever, we're still friends," Harry said, shaking his head. "We're buddies with Hagrid, aren't we?"
In a shadowy corner, an old man who'd been secretly watching the friendly chat between two boys, two basilisks, and a Dementor nodded in satisfaction and left—though he left his phoenix behind. Fawkes wanted to keep watching the show.
Like owner, like pet. Nothing wrong with that.
"I'm not being ridiculous. This is just the kind of moment where you say stuff like that," Cohen said, raising an eyebrow. "Come on, didn't you just feel a little warm fuzzy 'wanna be lifelong bros' vibe in your hearts?"
"Not anymore," Harry said dryly.
"What about Hermione—"
"She's fine…" the old basilisk said to Harry, so he could pass it on. "She just passed out. Before I got here, she'd already been hit by that guy's spell."
The old basilisk poked the unconscious Lockhart with its tail tip.
"By the way, I remember this guy. He came looking for me a few times before, with that Salazar heir."
Harry knew the basilisk meant Voldemort—Lockhart was definitely one of the culprits from the earlier attacks.
"It says Lockhart knocked Hermione out with a spell before it got here," Harry relayed to Ron. "And yeah, Lockhart's been helping Voldemort with the attacks."
"That filthy liar!" Ron shot a disgusted look at Lockhart.
"So what do we do with him?" Cohen asked. "Should we each take turns peeing on his face?"
"Gross," Harry said.
"Not classy," Sisoko added.
"Salazar's been dead for ages," the old basilisk said. "No need to do that in front of his statue… He doesn't deserve *that* much…"
"We should drag him out and expose him," Ron said fiercely. "Fake autobiographies, attacking students, helping You-Know-Who…"
"He'll wake up to a collapsed world," Cohen quipped.
"So… we can head back now?" Harry asked the two basilisks. "Since… we don't have to fight anymore?"
"I'll come back later," Cohen said suddenly.
Harry and Ron both turned to look at him.
"We can't just leave them in the Chamber," Cohen said, raising an eyebrow. "What if Voldemort comes back to stir up trouble? I'm taking them to my suitcase. It's better for everyone—Hogwarts won't have any more basilisk attacks, and Norbert won't be so lonely."
"That's actually a solid idea," Harry nodded. "We probably shouldn't tell the professors about this—oh! Let's just say we killed the basilisk. There are two shed skins out there—they look fresh enough."
[*Ding! Tom Riddle's grand purge plan has been thwarted. Kindness Branch (2/7) completed. +1000 Goodwill Points. Reward: *Advanced Spellcraft Imitation* available for pickup.*]
[*Ding! "Save a basilisk's life" overachieved. +2000 Sin Points. Reward: 2 Flesh Puppets available for pickup.*]
"Kids, I can keep your secret," said the Sorting Hat, which had been ignored on the damp floor. "But you've got to be nice and take me back to the headmaster's office—I don't have hands or feet, you know."
"Really?" Ron asked, skeptical.
The Sorting Hat was starting to regret opening its mouth.
But they definitely wouldn't leave it behind.
Sisoko helped Cohen and the others get Lockhart down to the pipes. Fawkes flew overhead the whole time. Once they found the unconscious Hermione, Sisoko gave Cohen a quick goodbye.
Now it was just the three of them, plus the knocked-out Hermione and Lockhart.
"How do we get back up?" Ron asked first, since that was the main reason he hadn't been able to get Hermione out earlier.
"Climb… climb up?" Harry asked, unsure.
"Help us out, Mr. Fawkes!" Cohen said, turning an eager gaze toward the phoenix.
Fawkes responded with a peck. It wasn't impressed with Cohen's earlier performance—thought he could've hammed it up a bit more.
"Hiss—" Cohen rubbed his head. The peck wasn't hard, but it was perfectly calibrated to sting without breaking his skin.
Clearly, Fawkes had plenty of practice pecking people.
"What's it mean?" Harry asked, puzzled, as Fawkes flicked its long golden tail feathers at him after pecking Cohen.
"Phoenix feathers fetch a high price," Cohen said spitefully.
"Is it telling you to grab it?" Ron wondered.
"But it can't possibly carry all of us…" Harry said, confused.
"Not gonna pluck one?" Cohen asked, disappointed. "Fine… we'll just hold onto each other and—wait, we've got two unconscious people here…"
Cohen suddenly realized the problem.
They'd need to wake someone up to get everyone out.
Guess Lockhart could keep snoozing, then.
Cohen crouched beside Hermione, reaching for his wand—only to get some not-so-great news.
He'd had his wand with him when Sisoko swallowed him, but he'd been too caught up watching the drama unfold. It seemed Sisoko had accidentally snapped it with a chomp.
"Looks like I'm not the only one needing a new wand this year," Ron said, somewhere between gloating and sympathy.
"Borrow mine," Harry offered, handing his wand to Cohen. "It must've been your… uh… basilisk relative, by accident…"
"No big deal," Cohen said casually. Magic tape couldn't fix a broken wand, but the Elder Wand could.
And, conveniently, the Elder Wand was with Dumbledore.
(End of Chapter)