After the infamous noodle theff, the Astral Express finally returned to a peaceful routine.
For about five hours.
Then, March 7th had an idea.
A terrible, dangerous, potentially explosive idea.
"I should learn how to cook!"
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An Unwise Decision
March 7th stood proudly in the Express kitchen, hands on her hips. "Alright, everyone! I, March 7th, am officially learning how to cook!"
Dan Heng, who had just walked in for a cup of tea, immediately turned around and left.
Welt, reading nearby, sighed. "This will not end well."
Pom-Pom poked their head in. "Pom-Pom is concerned."
March pouted. "Come on! It's not like I'm that bad!"
Pom-Pom muttered, "Pom-Pom remembers the 'space soup incident.'"
March coughed. "Okay, but that was one time!"
Himeko smirked. "Then I guess you'll need a teacher." She turned to the only person wise enough for this challenge.
"Zhongli, what do you think?"
Zhongli, ever composed, sipped his tea before responding. "I believe all skills can be cultivated with patience and guidance."
March beamed. "See?! Zhongli believes in me!"
Zhongli set his teacup down. "However… one must also respect the nature of fire."
March blinked. "Uh… what?"
Pom-Pom whispered, "Pom-Pom is even more concerned now."
---
Lesson One: The Basics
Zhongli stood calmly in the kitchen, sleeves neatly rolled up. "We shall start with something simple: a basic stir-fry."
March nodded eagerly. "Sounds easy!"
Step one: Chopping vegetables.
Zhongli demonstrated, slicing through a carrot with perfect precision.
March picked up a knife. "Okay, let's do this!"
CLANG
The knife flew across the room, barely missing Welt's coffee cup.
Welt sighed. "I *knew* this was a bad idea."
March winced. "Oops."
Zhongli remained calm. "Perhaps we start with slower movements."
---
Lesson Two: Heat Control
March poured oil into the pan.
Zhongli watched carefully. "That is… quite a generous amount of oil."
March shrugged. "More oil means more flavor!"
Pom-Pom peeked in. "Pom-Pom disagrees."
Then, March turned on the stove.
WHOOSH.
The oil immediately caught fire.
March screamed.
Pom-Pom screamed.
Welt, from the other room, muttered, "Of course."
Zhongli, unfazed, simply lifted a lid and covered the flame. The fire immediately went out.
March panted. "…I almost died."
Zhongli sipped his tea. "Fire is both a tool and a test. One must learn control."
Pom-Pom whispered, "Pom-Pom will never enter the kitchen again."
---
Lesson Three: The Final Dish
Despite multiple near disasters, Zhongli guided March through the final steps.
Carefully, she stirred the vegetables, added the sauce, and finally… plated the dish.
March beamed. "It actually looks good!"
Himeko smirked. "Alright, let's see how it tastes."
The crew gathered around as March took the first bite.
She chewed. Paused. Then smiled.
"…It's not bad!"
Pom-Pom took a bite. Nodded. "Pom-Pom approves."
Dan Heng, who had been forced to return, sighed. "At least it's edible."
Zhongli gave a small smile. "A commendable effort. With practice, you shall improve."
March puffed up proudly."I told you guys I could do it!"
Then she turned to Himeko. "So… now can I try making dessert?"
The room went silent.
Dan Heng immediately walked out.
Welt downed his coffee.
Himeko smiled. "Sure!"
Pom-Pom fainted.
Zhongli sighed.
"This will be a long day."
---
Chapter 16 Preview: Dan Heng's Attempt at Relaxation
After the kitchen disaster, March decides Dan Heng works too hard.
Her solution? Forcing him to relax.
Spa treatments?
Tea ceremonies?
Board games?
Can Zhongli help Dan Heng unwind, or will this turn into another disaster?
Find out next time!
---
Author's Note: (●__●)
March cooking = chaos.