"Sir, Director Fury is trying to contact you. Shall I put him on hold?"
Tony has barely stepped out of the room where he's taken Thor before JARVIS' quiet voice sounds in the microscopic earpiece he's wearing. If you'd told him this morning that Thor would ask to be allowed to meditate on his next steps of all things, Tony would have laughed in your face. But here they were and the facility he'd had J build for the hammer was full of empty rooms, at the end of the day.
He was still trying to wrap his head around the whole 'Loki is a girl' thing and if he could have, he would have spent the next few hours working out what it meant for him and his plans. Nothing on Earth seemed to be different from what he remembered yet, but Loki had very much been a man in his original timeline. What did it mean that according to Thor, Loki in this universe had always been a woman? That sure, there were some incidents with shapeshifting and magical disguises over the centuries, but Thor was confident Loki had always defaulted to a female form at her base. It might have something to do with Tony's method of time travel, he supposed. Because- no. He was letting himself get off track. Eye on the ball, Stark.
Tilting his head to the side, Tony considers JARVIS' query for a moment before shaking his head with a sigh.
"Nah, he'll just have Coulson track me down so he can hand me his phone instead. And that doesn't sound nearly as fun as when I make him use Nat for that."
A raunchy grin spreads across Tony's face as he finds himself momentarily reminiscing about the numerous instances of Natasha handing him a phone with a furious Fury on the other end. Tony and Natasha had a deal. If she was going to hand him things, she better be willing and ready to give him a hand in the other way too. Or a mouth, as it were. Needless to say, talking to Fury was a lot easier when he had Agent Romanoff's lips wrapped around his cock the entire time.
"As you say, Sir."
A moment later and Fury's voice comes through, loud and clear.
"Stark. You actually believe this bullshit?"
Coulson had certainly gotten word back to his boss fast. Tony had been spoiled with having Natasha as his SHIELD watchdog for the last year and two months if he was being honest. Especially since she was on his side, allowing him to drip feed Fury whatever information he wanted.
Alas, Secretary Pierce couldn't be seen to show Tony TOO much blatant favoritism, or it might actually raise Nick's suspicions. As such, they were going to be saddled with Coulson, Barton, and the other SHIELD mooks for this operation. Just couldn't be helped.
Humming, Tony leans back against the wall and stuffs his hands into his pockets.
"Yeah Nicky, I believe it. I'm sure you've already seen the readings that Dr. Foster and her team picked up out here last night. As well as what was picked up by satellites in the region also. I'm also sure that you aren't a scientist, so you probably have no clue what it all says. Well here's some information that you'll be able to wrap your head around, Director. J?"
"Package sent, Sir."
On the other end of the line, Fury curses as JARVIS bypasses half a dozen SHIELD Protocols in order to send the latest packet of information right to the one-eyed man's computer. The Director doesn't say anything about it though, instead he opens up the packet and after a moment curses under his breath a second time.
Smirking, Tony nods to nobody.
" That ' s right, Nicky. The hammer is completely extraterrestrial in origin. And not just the metal either. The leather on the grip and the loop at the end is not from any animal on this planet, Nicky. Past or present. As for 'Thor' himself, he's not human either. He's been weakened to near-human levels, but his biology is completely out of this world."
"… And that's enough for you to buy his Norse God bullshit? Isn't it more likely this is some kind of conman from outer space who read our myths and is trying to mimic them or something?"
Tony tilts his head to the side. See, that's why it was hard to hate Nick Fury ALL the way through and through. The man was great at pivoting. Though to be fair, it made sense that the SHIELD Director would be quick to believe Thor was an alien… after all, Nick and SHIELD had had plenty of dealings with aliens in the past, hadn't they?
Likewise, Fury's idea that Thor might be an intergalactic conman was honestly kind of inspired. If Tony didn't know everything he knew, he'd think it was actually a pretty solid theory. With that in mind, he lets his tone become conciliatory.
"It's possible, Director. Which is why I'm taking things nice and slow. Being all cautious like. If he is what he says he is, we've got an opportunity to make an amazing ally… or a truly terrible enemy. If he's not, then I figure we'll find out soon enough just by studying him and the hammer. And like I told Secretary Pierce, nothing we've tried so far has been able to move the hammer anyways. Neither organic nor inorganic methods have proven effective, despite every scan I can run saying the thing shouldn't weigh much more than it appears to."
Tony shrugs as he takes a breath and then continues on.
"You catch more flies with honey then vinegar, Fury. And since we can't exactly exploit this situation in any other way, I've decided that diplomacy is our best bet at this stage in the game. The WSC agrees with me."
Silence on the other end for a moment, and then…
"Tch. Much as I hate to admit it, so do I Stark. But I've got my eye on you."
Fury hangs up on him before Tony can make a pirate joke, but he just chuckles and shakes his head.
"Same ole Nick Fury. Well alright then. I suppose-." "Sir, Thor Odinsson has entered a state of distress."
Wait, what? Furrowing his brow, Tony turns back to the room he left Thor in and steps back inside. He'd been expecting to return to a cheery Thor having decided he needed to do something like going on an adventure to rescue some damsel or secure some ancient relic to become 'worthy' again.
Instead, when he walks back into the room where he'd left Thor to his meditation, its to find the big blond man crying. To be fair, it's the manly, brave kind of crying. Hands clenched into fists; jaw clenched even harder. One big honking manly tear streaking out of the corner of one of his big blue eyes. But there's no denying it… he's crying.
"Thor? What's wrong buddy? I literally left you in here five minutes ago."
Looking up at Tony, the depowered God of Thunder doesn't just look sad… he looks broken.
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