It took approximately six minutes.
Six minutes in which five men, each nearly twice the size of Ling Xiaoying, collapsed one after another at Xu Jinyao's feet, twitching and groaning.
And in those same six minutes, Xu Jinyao's legs finally gave out beneath him, the adrenaline wearing off and leaving him overwhelmed by the scene before him. He staggered, falling forward.
He remained dazed throughout it all, even when he was suddenly lifted bridal-style into Ling Xiaoying's arms and carried out of the room.
His gaze floated up to meet her face - cold, stoic, unsmiling - as she paused beside the fallen Lu Ziming. But then, ever so slowly, her expression shifted into the most irritatingly smug grin in existence. With an elegant flick of her ankle, she tapped the tip of her heel against Lu Ziming's chin, tilting his face up to meet her gaze.
"You look so much better lying helplessly under my feet," she murmured.
[Rachel: Mm… No, no, honey bear, that didn't land right. One more try.]
Ling Xiaoying's eyes gleamed, lips curling higher.
"You look better when you're lying limply beneath my soles."
[Rachel: Ephraim. Sweetheart. Let's give up the whole evil overlord thing, okay?]
[Ephraim: Ugh… Fine.]
The grin softened into a pleasant smile. Ling Xiaoying, or rather, Ephraim crouched down slightly, tightening his hold around Xu Jinyao as he glanced down at Lu Ziming with something close to pity.
"You're still kind of cute, you know… even if you've messed up a bit here and there. But hey, since I'm feeling merciful, I'll let you go this time. It's not like you've got anywhere lower to fall, right?"
His voice was light, teasing, almost casual.
"You're one of those lazy types, always hoping the world will hand you everything on a silver platter. Hey, no judgment. I've been there lately too. But take it from one procrastinator to another… you've got to get back up eventually. Problem is, some of us are born lucky… and you, buddy, aren't one of them."
With that, Ephraim straightened, turning away from Lu Ziming as if the man no longer existed, his attention returning to the dazed figure in his arms.
"Jinjin," he murmured, voice chirpy, "could you grab my phone? It's in the front pocket of my skirt. The skirt's pocket's huge, so you might need to dig a little, okay? Like, it's very deep in my skirt's pocket."
"Okay, okay, I get it, Jiejie. Your skirt has pockets," Xu Jinyao grumbled, digging his hand into the large pocket and pulling out the phone.
His gaze flickered over the screen.The sound recording was on.
Ephraim raised a brow, a grin spreading across his face.
"Well, well, oh ho ho… Look who's got a mouth on him now. So cheeky. Now, be a good boy and show it to that bleached-out shadow at my feet."
Xu Jinyao obediently held out the phone towards Lu Ziming. Without realizing it, his lips tugged up in a smug little smile, something rare for him, but gods, it felt good to finally deal with someone in such a gloriously cliché way. Looking down at him from above… it was every face-slapping novel's classic revenge scene.
…Let's just not dwell too hard on the part where he was being carried princess-style in someone else's arms. That part wasn't important.
'Ah… this is bad. I can't be enjoying this… I shouldn't be having fun mocking someone like this… Bad Xu Jinyao. Bad, bad, bad.'
Clearing his throat awkwardly, he quickly tucked the phone back into the skirt pocket.
Just as he opened his mouth to say something, a click echoed from nearby. His head snapped up, he caught a glimpse of someone hastily ducking behind the curve of the wall.
In that instant, Xu Jinyao's heart dropped. No longer caring about the utterly defeated Lu Ziming sprawled on the floor, he instinctively tensed, but before he could process the situation, his whole world tilted.
Ephraim shifted him easily in his arms, throwing him over one thin shoulder like a sack of rice.
The next thing he knew, the wind was rushing past him as Ephraim dashed toward the fleeing figure.
What made things worse - or better? - was the utterly physics-defying way Ephraim's 'breasts' jiggled with every step, despite being firmly pinned down under Xu Jinyao's own weight.
He chose not to question it.
He was too busy fearing for his life.
In a blink, Ephraim caught up with the photographer, grabbing the man by the collar and yanking him back.
[Ephraim: Tch. Lu Ziming really came prepared, huh. Man was ready to ruin my reputation at all costs. I admire the dedication. The hate. Such raw emotion. Also, this man has cute freckles.]
[Rachel: Less admiration, more action, honey. Grab his camera. Also, you are right. They are cute.]
Ephraim didn't even need to act.
Xu Jinyao had already caught the camera mid-air, flipping through the photos with quick fingers before turning the screen towards Ephraim.
"He took quite a few shots that, well… could be interpreted as… less than savory," Xu Jinyao said dryly. "Honestly, it looks like some crime scene. You, kidnapping me after beating up a bunch of guys. Very… violent."
Ephraim blinked.
[Ephraim: …Isn't that literally what I just did though? I mean, nothing he said is technically wrong.]
[Rachel: True. But darling, you wouldn't want everyone else to know that.]
[Ephraim: …Fair point.]
Curious now, Ephraim leaned in. "So? Which picture turned out decent?"
Xu Jinyao scrolled back, showing him one where Ephraim stood protectively in front of him, shielding him from the gang of violent hobos earlier, right before he'd proceeded to beat them into the ground.
Ephraim's eyes lit up.
"Oh-ho, not bad! Look at me. The hair, the confidence… it's giving overpowered female RPG character with secret S-tier skills vibe. Very cool. I love it."
Strands of his beautiful, silky hair (wig) had fallen loosely over his face, making him look slightly ruffled, but effortlessly confident — the very image of a beautiful, deadly heroine defending the weak.
Xu Jinyao, on the other hand, grimaced.
He looked pale.
Confused.
Worse still, his trembling hands clung desperately to his 'Jiejie' in pure terror. It was even more humiliating considering their faces were basically cut from the same mold, making his sorry state look all the more exaggerated.
Still… compared to the other photos, this one was at least somewhat presentable.
Without another word, Ephraim casually raised a hand and smacked the struggling photographer on the back of the head, sending him collapsing unconscious to the floor.
Then, with an easy glance, he looked toward a nearby staff member peeking fearfully from behind a pillar.
Ephraim smiled sweetly at them, a smile so pleasant it made the three staff members tremble on the spot. He lifted a hand, beckoning them over with a lazy wave of his fingers.
"C'mere, you three. I don't bite. No, no." His tone remained light, but the glint in his eyes was far from harmless. "But tell me… how did those guys manage to stroll into my room, hm? Even let this peanut gallery waltz in, too. What now? You taking bribes?"
The three staff members paled, looking down like guilty schoolchildren.
After a beat, a petite girl among them finally managed to stammer out,
"T-they… they forced their way in. We've already called the police… they… they knocked out security, we had no choice… we're sorry, dear customer… we… we're cowards."
[Ephraim: She's cute.]
[Rachel: I wanna bully her.]
[Ephraim: Rachel! OMG!]
[Rachel: Look at her though. That little buttercup looks so easy to tease. She's adorable.]
[Ephraim: Stop- don't corrupt me. Now I wanna mess with her too.]
[Rachel: Hey, hey, let's stay civil and moral on the job, babe. No bad habits.]
[Ephraim: You literally started it.]
Ephraim narrowed his eyes at the girl, making her shrink back instinctively, though she didn't run. Good girl.
He crooked a finger at her. "Little Miss, c'mere."
The girl glanced nervously at one of her male co-workers, then looked back at Ephraim with misty, terrified eyes.
"M-Miss… w-we called the manager… and the police… I-I swear, we'll explain everything properly! We… we won't lie! R-reimburse you — twice, no… no, three times the room charge-"
"Oh, that won't be necessary." Ephraim smiled, resting his free hand on his hip. "Say… are you good at taking photos?"
"P-pardon?"
"I asked, are you good at taking pictures?"
"U-um… I-I'd say I'm decent… I think?"
"Wonderful." Ephraim clapped his hands together softly. "Come. Take a picture of me and Jinjin. Make sure you get those background actors sprawled behind us in the frame, yeah?"
Xu Jinyao's face instantly twisted in horror.
"Like this?! Jiejie, are you insane?! What are you thinking?! The only view in that picture would be of my butt with the way you are holding me right now."
"Come now, Jinjin. You're being a bit prideful. You're tushie ain't that fat or curvy. But if it worries you so much, I will carry you like a princess. How does that sound?"
"That's not the the point here!"
The picture, of course, was still taken.
That very photo, along with a few others, was later sent to Xu Youyi, accompanied by the entire ridiculous story behind it.
Rachel, naturally, had been busy too. She discreetly helped Ephraim snap a few more shots even inside the police station, quietly accessing the station's internal database and surveillance cameras without anyone the wiser.
Xu Youyi was overjoyed.
The moment those photos and details landed in his inbox, the man practically lit up, burning the midnight oil to turn it into a bright, lively article. It was published not long after.
As expected, the article poured more fuel on the small fire of craze surrounding the chaotic, mysterious new female influencer. And really — how could it not?
A girl whose delicate, fairy-like appearance practically screamed "She's so dainty, she's a celestial beauty", had apparently beaten up a group of grown men to rescue her future baby's godfather.
It was the kind of mad, ridiculous story people couldn't help but fall in love with.
Naturally, the whole thing also dragged more attention onto Xu Jinyao.
With his name repeatedly mentioned alongside hers, and his face, a picture of fragile beauty, clinging to her in those viral images, curiosity about him exploded.
He looked like Ling Xiaoyu, a long-time fan favourite, and also uncannily like Ling Xiaoying, the nation's new obsession. The resemblance alone was enough to stir gossip, and people began digging.
Xu Jinyao had only stepped into the entertainment world a few months ago with Wang Jianyuan's help. Things had been slow at first, just the beginning stages.
But now, thanks to that sudden, chaotic boost of public curiosity, his following began to grow at a surprising speed.
But… well, that was a story for another day.
Back in the present, after the trouble with the police and lingering staff had finally settled down, Ephraim, in a rare moment of mercy, relented and let Xu Jinyao go home for the day.
It wasn't because he wanted to.
If it were up to him, Ephraim would've squeezed every last drop of advantage out of Xu Jinyao's unusually calm mood that day. Really, if he could, he'd milk a few more benefits - maybe a free dinner, a reluctant promise, or a few endearing reactions.
But… alas, he had a dinner date with Shen Yizhou later that evening. And there was no way he was giving that up.
On the way home, Xu Jinyao was quiet.
Not the usual brooding kind, but the kind of heavy, oppressive silence that made Ephraim finally grab him by the cheeks and turn his face toward him.
"Jinjin, are you still mad about the photo?" Ephraim coaxed, grinning. "I swear, you looked adorable in it. Adorable enough to make people go feral. Like 'I'm gonna swallow him whole, squeeze him until he pops, twist and turn him, because what else can I do with this much cuteness' kind of feral."
"Okay. That's horrifying. Please stop." Xu Jinyao sighed, his lips pursed in quiet exasperation. Then his gaze shifted downwards. "Also… you should fix your chest."
Ephraim glanced down, noticing the padding had slipped slightly. With a small laugh, he casually adjusted it back into place and beamed. "Ah, sometimes my boobage tends to slip. Happens, don't mind it."
Xu Jinyao's eyebrow twitched at the phrasing. He wisely chose not to comment.
After all… he didn't really understand the struggles of being a woman, and it would be rude to bring up how exaggerated Ling Xiaoying's - or rather, this 'Jiejie's' - chest seemed. What if she was self-conscious about it? What if it was padding because she was insecure about being flat?
Better to stay silent.
Yes. Silent.
As the gates of Wang Jianyuan's villa came into view, Xu Jinyao felt an odd reluctance.
Today had been… well, eventful.
But thinking about it now, it had been kind of fun too. Just a little.
"Jiejie," he called softly, his voice unusually sincere. "You've helped me a lot. Again. If this debt keeps piling up, it'll crush me. I… I hope to repay you somehow. So if there's anything you want-"
"Sing for me."
"Huh?" Xu Jinyao blinked, startled by how quickly she answered.
"I want you to sing for me," Ephraim repeated with a grin. "Next time we meet. That'll be the repayment for last time. And-" he raised a finger playfully, "I'm reserving a whole day too. No complaining. You tell me when you're free. We'll have a little sibling day together. Consider that repayment for this time."
Xu Jinyao stared for a moment. "…That was fast. You really don't hesitate, do you?"
"Why should I?" Ephraim laughed. "Opportunities like this don't come often. Honestly, it feels more like I'm chasing a wife than a little bro with how stubborn you are. Gotta grab every little chance I get."
Xu Jinyao almost laughed. Almost.
He swallowed back the automatic rejection on his tongue, knowing debts were debts. He turned away, face calm, gaze soft.
"…Fine. Whatever you want."
And truth be told… he was kind of looking forward to it.
Just a little.