The Glorious Death of a Genius Idiot
Buried beneath a mountain of dirt, crammed into a hole barely big enough for a depressed spoon, Aya lay motionless. A twitch. A sigh. A philosophical moan of suffering.
If anyone had been listening—which no one was, because she had no friends and was an ant—they'd have heard the final thoughts of a life gone terribly, stupidly wrong.
Aya (muffled): "This is it. This is how I die. A dumb ant who played herself."
No stamina. No power. No plan. Just a smushed exoskeleton full of sarcasm and secondhand embarrassment. She hadn't just hit rock bottom. She'd dug through it and was now beneath the bedrock, being judged by ancient subterranean fossils.
Her internal monologue was writing her obituary with flair.
"Here lies Aya. Died like an idiot. Could have stayed hidden. Tried to outwit goblins. Failed spectacularly. May her spirit reincarnate as a slightly smarter fungus."
She sighed. Long. Dramatic. The kind of sigh that deserved a thunderstorm and sad violins. The dirt above trembled.
Then—DING!
A blinding blue notification appeared in the pitch-black, lighting up her dirt coffin like divine judgment.
STATUS UPDATE!NAME: AyaRACE: AntlingLEVEL: 6 (+3 LEVELS!)SPECIES: Aegis Mandible [Soldier Ant] 🛡️All stats: FULLY RESTOREDSkills: POWERED UPBonus: +300 Skill Points
There was a beat. A pause. A blink.
Aya: "…I WHAT?!"
Her jaw dropped so hard she nearly dislocated her mandibles.
Aya: "I LEVELED UP WHILE DOING NOTHING! HAHA! I'M A GENIUS!"
Laughter burst from her like a villain in a straightjacket. Hysterical. Unhinged. Possibly disturbing to the worms nearby. She flailed her tiny legs in the dirt.
Aya: "THE SYSTEM PITIES ME! I'M THE CHOSEN ONE OF INCOMPETENCE!"
She was euphoric. She was victorious. She was—
CRACK.
A sharp pain cut through her back like a lightning bolt. Her joy turned into a scream.
Aya: "WAIT. WAIT. AM I DYING?! IS THIS WHAT ASCENSION FEELS LIKE?!"
Her shell began to peel, splitting like a rotten peanut. Inside, her raw, squishy form glistened. For a terrifying moment, she was completely exposed. Vulnerable. Pathetic.
Aya: "OH GOD I'M BALD! I LOOK LIKE A BLOB OF SADNESS!"
She curled up, ready to weep like a Victorian widow.
But then—Shimmer. Shine. Clink.
A new shell began to form, layering over her like sacred armor bestowed by the gods of bad luck. Her mandibles grew sharper. Her body grew tougher. Her legs looked less like twigs and more like actual tools of destruction.
Aya: "Holy crap. I'm… I'm gorgeous."
She flexed. She posed. She did a little victory dance in her dirt hole. There was no one to witness it, but if they had, they'd have given her at least a 7 out of 10 for enthusiasm.
Aya: "I FEEL LIKE A BRAND-NEW ANT!"
Then her stomach growled.
No. Not growled. It roared. It let out a screech so violent, it might have violated some kind of sound-based Geneva Convention.
Aya: "…I am starving."
She stopped mid-flex. Her eyes narrowed. Her limbs trembled. All the post-evolution high drained from her like a leaky pipe.
Aya: "This is the worst RPG mechanic. Why does evolving cost all your calories?! I JUST BECAME BEAUTIFUL!"
With no energy left to curse fate, she flopped face-first into the dirt.
Aya (muffled): "Feed me or kill me. I'm not picky."
But the system didn't respond. No magical fruit. No nutritional cutscene. Just her, her regrets, and the aftertaste of dirt.
So she did what any intelligent being would do.
Aya: "Time to eat… something… disgusting."
Aya emerged from her dirt-cradle like a freshly reborn disaster. Gleaming armor? Check. Glorious level-up? Check. Utter exhaustion and raging hunger? Check and double check.
Her antennae twitched, scoping the wreckage of the battlefield around her. Blood. Gore. Bits of goblin strewn like abstract art made by a toddler with rage issues.
And then she saw it.One. Singular. Hideous. Choice.
Dead goblins.Rotting. Reeking. Ripe.
Aya: "I really, really hate my life."
With all the enthusiasm of someone crawling to their doom buffet, she dragged herself forward. Every inch was a protest. Every breath, a cry for help from her rapidly diminishing pride.
Aya: "Gross? Yes. Necessary? Also yes. Please don't give me food poisoning, oh goblin gods of filth…"
She hovered over a mangled corpse. Its tongue lolled out like it had seen the ending to Titanic one too many times. Aya took a deep breath she immediately regretted.
First bite—
She gagged.
Aya: "BLLLLAAARRRRGGGHHHHHHH!!!"
Her whole body convulsed like she was being exorcised.
It tasted like burnt hair marinated in sewage and sprinkled with depression. Like sadness had been cooked in a moldy boot. Like someone had boiled despair, strained it through disappointment, and used it to marinate failure.
Her antennae spasmed violently. She collapsed onto her side, shaking.
Aya: "WHY DOES IT TASTE LIKE SAD MEMORIES AND REGRET?!"
But… she kept chewing. Because life is cruel. Because evolution is crueler. Because apparently, nutrition was now measured in how much suffering she could endure per bite.
Aya (muttering): "The things I do to survive… I deserve a medal. Or therapy. Or both."
She cried while eating. Tears mingled with the stink. She didn't care. Dignity was dead. Pride had left the building. All that remained was the chewing. The never-ending chewing of evil meat.
Eventually—finally—mercifully, her strength returned. Her limbs steadied. Her stomach stopped threatening to stage a rebellion. And with the power of sheer will and suffering-induced rage, she dug herself out of the earth and crawled into the open.
The sun hit her armor. She stood tall. She raised a claw to the heavens.
Aya: "I! AM! A SURVIVOR!"
SSSSSSHHAAAAA!
She froze.
Aya: "…That better not be what I think it is."
She turned.
It was what she thought it was.
The snake.
Alive.
Glowing.
Seething with vengeance.
Aya: "NO. HOW?! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD! DEAD! I BURIED YOU IN A ROCK SLIDE!"
The snake hissed like a kettle full of spite.
Aya backed up, trembling. Her antennae drooped like dying flowers.
Aya: "DO YOU HAVE PLOT ARMOR?! ARE YOU A PROTAGONIST TOO?!"
The snake lunged.
Aya screamed. Leapt sideways. Rolled. Hit a rock. Swore.
Aya: "WHY ARE YOU SO PETTY?! I ONLY NEARLY KILLED YOU! GET OVER IT!"
It hissed again. Louder. Angrier. Sparkles of venom shimmered in the air like glitter from a toxic rave.
Aya: "You want revenge?! Fine! Get in line! I've pissed off, like, fifteen goblin clans, a rat king, and a spider cult! There's a WAITLIST!"
Another lunge. She narrowly dodged again.
Aya (sprinting): "OH GOD I'M SORRY! DON'T KILL ME! I'M TOO BEAUTIFUL TO DIE!"
The snake pursued. Glowing with resurrection rage. Faster than before. Stronger. Smarter.
Aya (panting): "How… did it level up too?! What is this, a rivalry arc?!"
The chase was on. One desperate antling, one undead snake, and an open field filled with doom.
And so, Aya did what she always did best:
She ran. Screaming. With style.
Aya ran.
Ran like her soul had filed for divorce from her body and was halfway to another plane of existence. Legs moving faster than logic, heart thundering like tribal drums at a doom festival, breath coming in rapid gasps that sounded more like existential sobbing.
The snake was behind her—no, on top of her—no, everywhere at once, a slithering nightmare with vengeance in its eyes and death in its mouth.
• [Tunnel Sprinter LV3] – ACTIVATED!• [Stealth LV5] – Laughably ineffective against serpents with a grudge.• [Quick Burrow LV2] – Currently less helpful than a paper sword.
Aya: "SYSTEM, THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO BE A WIKI PAGE!"
[Survival Tip: Running away is a good idea!]
Aya: "YOU DON'T SAY?! WHAT'S NEXT, 'WATER IS WET'?!"
She skidded around a broken goblin ribcage, ducked under a collapsed stone arch, and flung herself off a ledge that might've been a staircase once—probably during a happier, less snake-infested era. Her descent wasn't so much a leap as it was gravity giving her a rude shove.
She hit the ground. Rolled. Bounced. Got mud in places mud had no right being.
Then up again, back to sprinting, because resting meant digestion, and she was not ready to be an appetizer.
The snake followed like a missile with fangs. Every time she looked back, it was there—gliding silently, murder in motion, glowing eyes locked onto her like she was the only food left in the universe.
She banked left. The snake mirrored. She zigged. It zagged harder.
Aya: "WHY ARE YOU FASTER THAN ME?! I'M SUPPOSED TO BE THE MAIN CHARACTER!"
She dove into a crevice, body barely squeezing through. The snake hit the stone mouth of the gap with a CRACK, scales scraping, dust flying.
Aya: "HAHA! YES! EAT DIRT, YOU SLITHERING—"
The snake hissed. Then began shrinking its coils to squeeze through.
Aya: "OH, COME ON! YOU CAN DO THAT?!"
She bolted out the other side and ran harder.
Every step was a heartbeat.Every breath was a prayer.Every instinct screamed, YOU ARE GOING TO DIE, RUN FASTER.
Aya's legs churned like pistons. Her feet barely touched the ground. She weaved around debris, bounced off a broken goblin shield, and used a crumbling wall to parkour up and over another boulder.
Aya: "SOMEONE GET ME AN OSCAR! I'M DOING MY OWN STUNTS!"
Mud exploded under her. Roots snagged her ankles. A rock fell. A goblin skull flew past her face like a warning shot from the afterlife.
Behind her, the snake coiled up for a leap.
Aya: "OH GOD—"
It launched.A blur of muscle and fury.
She dropped just in time, sliding under a fallen slab of stone as the snake soared over her, jaws snapping shut with a CHOMP that echoed like a guillotine.
Aya (gasping): "I'm alive. I'm alive?! I'M—"
She tripped.
Of course she did.
She hit the ground with the force of a falling planet. Dirt puffed up like smoke. Her antennae drooped like dead flowers. Her legs twitched in the most undignified tangle imaginable.
Aya: "I hate everything."
She turned her head. Slowly. Reluctantly. Full of dread.
The snake slithered back into view like a boss entering phase two.
Its body rippled with glowing veins of menace.Its tongue flicked like a lie.Its eyes burned like two angry suns.It stopped a few feet away.
Aya: "Hi. Hello. Let's be civil."
It inched closer.
Aya: "We could talk! I read somewhere snakes are very intellectual!"
Closer.
Aya: "Or... or we could do interpretive dance? You seem very flexible!"
Closer. Jaw opening. Fangs glinting.
Aya: "Okay okay WAIT WAIT HOLD ON—LOOK AT ME! I'm 90% trauma and bad life choices! That cannot taste good!"
The snake didn't blink.
She scrambled backwards—arms flailing, legs kicking, heart screaming a war drum solo in her chest.
Aya: "I AM NOT A SNACK! I'M A HIGH-MAINTENANCE MEAL!"
It rose above her, majestic and monstrous, every coil vibrating with the smugness of a creature seconds from victory.
Aya looked up, pupils tiny pinpricks of regret and sheer disbelief.
Aya (tiny voice): "Not like this… Not as a meme…"
Was this it?Was this the end of Aya the Antling?Was her tombstone going to say "Here lies Aya. Screamed a lot. Died snack-sized"?
Her whole life flashed before her eyes—mostly falling, yelling, and bad decisions dressed up as plans.
She braced herself.
The snake lunged.