Cecilia
After spending the day reflecting on Jason's warnings about Asher, I decide to go to the cinema to distract myself. When I arrive, I'm looking for a seat when I notice not only Asher but also that he's signaling for me to join him.
"Does Jason know you're here?"
"Are you going to ask me the same question every time?" I snap, irritated by his question.
I'd rather he greet me or something, show interest in me rather than what my brother thinks.
"Sit down," he tells me.
"No thanks, I don't want people thinking I'm part of your harem."
It takes a lot of strength to say that because I don't care what others think if it means being in his presence, even if he doesn't talk to me. I'm caught off guard when he pulls me toward him.
"You should feel special, Ceci; you're the only one I invited to sit with me at the movies," he says with his most charming smile, and it warms my heart.
I quickly get up from him before I do something foolish and sit next to him, doing my best not to touch him.
"Sit comfortably; I'm not going to eat you," he says, offering me the blanket.
I think for a few seconds about Jason and his warnings, but I decide to ignore them and accept Asher's offer. I settle in comfortably, pressing against him while sharing the blanket. I place my bowl of popcorn between us, and my heart starts racing. I've dreamed so much about this moment. Even if it means nothing to him, it's everything to me.
We stare at the screen and remain silent. The movie starts, and I try my best to ignore him, to block out his intoxicating scent. Even though I'm focusing on the film, I can't. My mind keeps drifting back to the person next to me. I think about everything I know about him, but honestly, apart from his habits, I don't know much. I don't know his hobbies, his relationship with his family, aside from the fact that his parents are divorced. I want to know more about him; I want to understand him, know what he wants to do in the future—basically, I want to know everything about him.
I need to catch myself and stop obsessing because knowing him, he could start ignoring me again overnight, and that would break my heart.
Halfway through the movie, I can't hold back any longer.
"Why are you talking to me now?" I ask him.
"What?"
"You heard my question. You ignored me before, and now you invite me to sit next to you and act like we're friends or something."
"We're not friends, Cecilia," he replies, and it feels like a slap in the face.
I pull away from the blanket, ready to leave, but he holds me close to him.
"That's not what I mean. We don't know each other well enough to be considered friends," he corrects himself. "Last time, you asked why I was ignoring you, and I realized I had no reason to." He holds my face so I'll look at him.
"And what do you want now?" I ask, managing to hold back my tears.
"We can get to know each other better, and who knows, maybe we'll become friends," he says with a small smile.
I resume my original position and stare at the movie. Unfortunately, my calm doesn't last more than a minute when he places his hand on my thigh and starts to caress me.
"What are you doing?" I ask, doing my best not to let him see how his actions are affecting me.
"For us to be friends, we need to lay some ground rules. Jason talked to me earlier to say that you have feelings for me. Is that true?" he asks, looking me in the eyes.
Damn Jason. Why did he go and tell him that? I don't know what to answer. If I say it's false, I might have a better chance with him, but if I tell him it's true, what will he think? What will he do?
"And what if it's true?"
"You didn't answer my question, Cecilia."
"I find you attractive, that's all."
"I hope for your sake that you do because I'm only interested in sex, nothing more."
"And who said I was looking for anything other than that?"
"You're not like that, Ceci; you're romantic. You're looking for your prince charming to marry and start a family with," he says, bursting into laughter.
"You don't believe me, Asher? Tell me, would you agree to be my friends with benefits if I asked?"
Damn, what am I doing? He's looking me in the eyes, then at my lips, and I know he wants me as much as I want him, but he's holding back.
"I don't usually agree with Jason, but you deserve better than a jerk like me, Cecilia. I only know how to use, use until I get bored, and then I move on."
"And what if that's what I want, Asher?"
All I desire is to be with him. He can use me if he wants; if that's what it takes to have him, I'll accept it.
"I wouldn't allow myself to do that to you. I know you have feelings for me, Cecilia. If we start something, it will end badly. The last thing I want is to hurt you."
Even though his words should make me realize and encourage me to forget him, they have the opposite effect. I'd rather suffer for something that brought me happiness than suffer in vain.
The following chapters are available on Radish Fiction: author name Yacin_Nd, book title Deep Tears.
My other books (Control, Regret, Flawed) are also available on Radish Fiction.
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