The bright neon lights flickered, casting a bluish glow over the dimly lit bar. In the middle of it all, two disheveled figures suddenly appeared out of thin air—a bearded man in a torn shirt, and a bald man with a resigned expression.
It was none other than Tony Stark and Yinsen, freshly returned from what felt like a lifetime in a cave.
For a moment, everyone in the bar stared.
Some squinted through their alcohol-induced haze, trying to figure out if their drinks had just betrayed them. Others simply shrugged, assuming it was just some weird party trick.
But some people recogniged him, they stared, Some whispered. Others squinted, trying to confirm if they were really seeing that Tony Stark. The man who had been all over the news not long ago, captured by terrorists, now... standing in this bar?
"Tony Stark? No way!"
"Is that Tony Stark? Didn't they say he…?"
But after the initial murmurs of curiosity, the crowd slowly lost interest. Most were too drunk to care, their hazy minds dismissing the sight as a hallucination or perhaps just another Tony Stark stunt. Before long, people returned to their drinks, laughter, and questionable dance moves.
"Where... where the hell are we?" Tony mumbled, rubbing his temples. still in a daze. He blinked rapidly, shaking his head as if trying to clear away the fog in his mind. The world around him spun slightly, but it didn't take long for his Stark-grade resilience to kick in.
"Home," Yinsen answered, but his voice carried more hope than certainty.
Tony blinked a few times, then realization struck.
"We're saved!"
Without warning, he threw his arms around Yinsen, lifting the man in an overly enthusiastic bear hug.
"We're home, Yinsen! We made it!"
The billionaire's eyes scanned the bar, taking in the mismatched furniture, the neon lights, and the overwhelming smell of beer. He expected a grand return, maybe some kind of heroic entrance. But no. Instead, he had been transported to a dingy bar filled with questionable characters.
The people around them continued to glance their way, though most had already dismissed the scene as the typical nonsense that happened in a bar at 2 AM.
But Tony didn't care. His relief was too overwhelming.
After shaking off the dizziness, Tony finally tried to get his bearings.
The bar was crowded, but something felt... off.
Most of the patrons were white guys in various states of intoxication, shouting over each other and chugging drinks like their lives depended on it.
"This doesn't look like Malibu," Tony muttered.
"Hey, buddy! Quick question. Where are we?"
The man blinked, squinting at Tony as if trying to decipher whether this was some sort of game. After an awkward pause, he mumbled,
"Huh? Bar."
"Yeah, I got that part," Tony said through gritted teeth. "But which city? State? Country even?"
The guy just grunted, taking a swig from his drink before staggering away.
"Great. Fantastic," Tony muttered, throwing his hands up.
He vaguely remembered the kid—Eric?—who had sent him back with some promise about sending him to his "favorite place."
And naturally, Tony had assumed that meant a burger joint.
Because, well...
Tony Stark and cheeseburgers are basically soulmates.
But this?
This was no burger haven. This was a bar.
A loud, chaotic bar.
Tony frowned.
"Yinsen," he said, his voice flat. "Does this look like a place that serves cheeseburgers?"
Yinsen, still dazed, simply blinked. "...No?"
Determined, Tony decided to try his luck.
He spotted a passing waiter—a skinny guy in a cheap vest who looked one spilled drink away from quitting his job entirely.
"Hey! Two cheeseburgers!" Tony called, raising his hand dramatically. "Extra fries!"
The waiter paused, visibly confused.
"Sir, this is a bar. We don't serve food."
The words hit Tony like a sucker punch.
"No... cheeseburgers?"
The waiter shook his head.
"Only drinks."
Tony's shoulders slumped.
That kid said he'd send him to his favorite place. And yet, here he was—burger-less.
His disappointment was immeasurable.
"This is a betrayal of the highest order," Tony declared dramatically, slumping back into his chair. "I deserve compensation. I should sue. Yinsen, remind me to call my lawyer."
"Fine," Tony sighed. "Forget it."
Yinsen, ever the reasonable one, gave him a small shrug.
"Maybe we should just leave, Tony."
"Yeah... good idea."
Just as Tony was about to stand up, a familiar voice rang out from across the bar.
"Tony Stark?!"
Tony froze.
He turned to see a man with a toothy grin and a questionable choice of a velvet blazer.
Bob Richard.
Bob was what people in polite society might call a second-generation chaebol. His father owned some massive corporation, and Bob spent most of his time wasting the family fortune on lavish parties.
While Tony had always found him harmless, he wasn't exactly someone Tony wanted to see right now.
"Tony! When did you get back?" Bob's voice was far too loud for Tony's comfort. "Man, I'm so sorry about what happened to you!"
Tony forced a half-hearted smile.
"Yeah, thanks."
But then Bob's gaze shifted. His grin twisted into something more... amused.
"Oh... I see," Bob said, dragging out the words with an almost theatrical flair. "Looks like your taste has... evolved since the kidnapping."
"I mean," Bob continued, patting Tony on the shoulder. "Life-or-death experiences can really change a man.
—
Tony blinked.
"What?"
—
Bob nodded toward Yinsen.
"You know," he said, lowering his voice dramatically, "I never pegged you for a bald guy kind of man, Tony."
—
For a moment, Tony's brain short-circuited.
"What the hell are you talking about?"
—
Bob smirked.
"Hey, no judgment! Love is love."
—
It hit Tony like a freight train.
No... No, no, no.
—
He quickly glanced around the bar, and that's when the horrifying realization dawned on him.
There were no women.
Not a single one.
—
It wasn't a regular bar.
It was a gay bar.
—
And Tony Stark, the world-renowned playboy, had just waltzed in—holding hands with Yinsen like they were on a date.
Tony's face went pale, then red, then something that could only be described as comically mortified.
"YINSEN! WE'RE LEAVING!"
Without giving Yinsen a chance to respond, Tony grabbed his arm and bolted for the exit.
"Tony!" Bob called out, his laughter echoing behind them. "If you ever want to explore something new, give me a call!"
Tony didn't stop. He didn't dare look back.
"Oh, for the love of—!"
Yinsen, still utterly confused, simply allowed himself to be dragged along.
"Tony, what's wrong?"
"Everything."
Once outside, Tony groaned, running his hands through his hair. "Great. Just great. You know what the headlines are gonna be tomorrow?
"Billionaire Tony Stark Returns from Afghanistan — and Switches Teams!?"
Yinsen simply gave him a wry smile. "At least you're alive to read it."
Tony paused. Despite the absurdity of the situation, he couldn't argue with that.
"Well, I guess I can live with that. But first thing tomorrow…" He narrowed his eyes. "We're finding a burger joint."