Haruto took a deep breath, holding his hands in front of himself, pouring his energy into the waterfall that flowed in front of him. Behind him, he knew that Satsuki stood a few paces back. She was sitting on top of the water. Her exercise was less about raw power and more about control. She had to keep herself from getting wet, and Haruto himself would provide the added difficulty.
How?
With a loud yell, Haruto quickly snapped into motion and pushed forwards, towards the waterfall, letting his energy spike for a moment.
In front of him, the waterfall exploded, sending water everywhere. For a moment, Haruto was glad that he'd brought along a swimsuit this time, as he had no problem getting wet. Though it also reminded him that not a few paces behind him, seated on the river was one of the village's most beautiful females, sitting cross legged in such a way that he could see every contour of her body, as detailed by the skin tight fabric of her swimsuit.
Unbeknownst to him, his teacher had set it up on purpose, if only to see if he could provoke any further development in that direction.
The water exploded in every direction, soaking Haruto to the bone and rushing past him, crashing down on Satsuki. Soon enough, however, it passed, and Satsuki let out a deep breath. Other than her hair being a little wet, she remained untouched by both the water beneath as well as the one that had just rushed past her. "That was… harder than I was expecting."
"Your chakra control needs to be top notch. You can't afford to screw up with those bombs of yours," Jiraiya said, from where he stood a few paces away, reading one of his books. "So I'm giving you the hardest control exercises I can think of. By the by, Naruko should be back just about…"
"Now," Naruko confirmed, walking from the tree line. "I am not your errand girl," she said, glaring at her teammates, before sighing, "but I did bring the lunch you asked me for," she said. "However, I spent some time looking for other supplies. I found something interesting. Jiisan, would you mind..?"
"Of course not, hime!" Jiraiya said, springing up. "Show me," he said, as Naruko put down the bag with takeout she'd brought along on a smallish rock.
Haruto and Satsuki quickly caught up with her and Jiraiya, and lunch began.
Naruko pulled the pistol out of the storage seal stitched on the inner side of her left sleeve. "It's a pistol," she explained, launching into what she had been told about its capabilities.
"That's a pretty steep price," Haruto commented.
"Of course it is. She was probably overcharged. She does look the part of a noble bimbo," Satsuki commented.
"I'm more interested in the disappearing salesman… why would he leave his store unattended?" Jiraiya said, frowning.
"It is not my fault that you look like the filthy peasant that you are," Naruko countered. "Nonetheless… It is a powerful weapon. Inefficient, but I believe that's nothing that a sealmaster can't fix."
"Hm… I'll see what I can do about that. Actually, this is as good a time as any to get all of you started on basic sealing lessons. And yeah, I know you've got the basics, but reviews never killed anyone!"
None of them seemed particularly pleased by this.
***
After a day of fun on the water, and by that I mean it was fun for Jiraiya as he spent the entire day beating the everloving tar out of his team after their lessons on sealing were done, the response to the message was finally written, and Team Jiraiya prepared to depart all the way back to Konoha.
The trail back was mostly uneventful. Because it was so late, though, Jiraiya opted for them to make a rest stop at a town that was on the way. It was a fairly small little village, no more than a hundred inhabitants at most, and the fact that it had an inn at all was impressive, particularly considering it wasn't that bad a place. It was a peaceful, picturesque village, the kind that appears solely in tales. Strangely enough, the village was populated mostly by rather young people, instead of the expected aged ancients.
And then Jiraiya had to reveal that the image was, in fact, too good to be true when he revealed it was actually a bounty hunter hub. The village earned most of its income by catering to the needs of missing nin. They paid their protection fee to Taki, and as such, survived to continue to do so. It was a strange kind of arrangement, but one that was economically beneficial for all involved, and as such it was tolerated.
The population's youth was also quickly explained, as it was a recent settlement, all things considered, built ten years ago. Nine, if you're not counting the time spent scouting the place. The people who'd originally settled were entering their thirties or forties, and just about all of them, one way or another, made their income off of the 'tourism'.
The 'Inn' served as a rather… sleazy bar, as well, during the night. Naruko hadn't stopped complaining about having to sleep at such a despicable establishment, and how it made her feel dirty in ways she couldn't even explain, since they first learned of the town's nature, and she'd made more than one threat of just simply wiping it off the map entirely.
Had she not been walking around with Jiraiya of the Goddamned Sannin, some might've decided to 'teach her a lesson' for her tendency to run her mouth. Of course, there was an odd, idiotic man who seemed not to recognize Jiraiya, who thought they were just some nobodies.
This led to an incident on the rather sleazy bar, as that guy was seated on the table next to theirs, with some of his buddies. The rather low lighting of the bar when one of the village's girls wasn't on stage providing entertainment couldn't' be blamed, though, as Jiraiya was rather visible even in low light conditions. Plus, they were closer to the lights away from the stage, closer to the bar, so it didn't even make sense why he wouldn't recognize Jiraiya on sight.
"Shaddup, ya bitch! We're all sick 'n tired of your whining, so shut the hell up and let us enjoy ourselves in peace!" the man had yelled, drunk enough to be ignorant of the amused faces that dominated the scenery around him, as people began to bet about how much Jiraiya was going to kick his ass. Everyone knew that if the man was with some genin brats, it was likely that the blonde was the Yondaime Hokage's precious princess. It was just common sense that someone that high profile would be with one of the few Ninja in Konoha who could protect her. Which meant Jiraiya would probably be awfully protective of the girl, as would only be expected.
Even the smashed veterans could tell that fucking with that genin team was suicide.
"Dude, shut up! You don't know who you're fucking with!" one of his buddies yelled, smacking him.
"Who the fuck cares who they are? It's just some annoying, bratty noble bimbo and probably a bunch of servants to accompany her! Hell, I'm sure they're all eager to get back at her! I can't imagine she's any more pleasant to them than she is to everyone else here," the guy said, surprisingly eloquent for someone who wore the flush of high quality booze on his face.
"Well, he's got a point. You're incredibly annoying," Satsuki said, smiling widely.
"Eh, let's not add fuel to the fire, okay?" Haruto said, turning to Satsuki. "We really shouldn't be making trouble here," he added.
"Heh. We do look like a noble's retainers, don't we?" Jiraiya said, scratching his chin. "Eheheh, a young maiden, traveling along with her retainers, the young, innocent boy, the snarky maid with a heart of gold, and the experienced butler to initiate her into the world of the perverse… This just writes itself!" Jiraiya said, giving the guy sitting on the table next to them a big thumbs up. "Can you give me your name? I'm totally gonna credit you for this one! Ohh, I just keep getting ideas! The snarky maid, tired of her mistress's overbearing attitude, decides to bend her over her knee to teach her…"
Satsuki flushed. "While I'm not against the idea of spanking some sense into that idiot, I'm not going to be touching her perfectly formed ass any time soon!"
"…Eh? I don't get it," Naruko admitted, simply. "Either way, I'm hungry. Where's my food?" she asked.
"Where you just not paying attention at all?" Haruto asked, somewhat surprised. "Though now that you mention it, it has been like, an hour since we ordered…"
"Well it WAS a big order," Naruko said, nodding sagely. "I think cooking an entire cow might take some time."
"A shame, because I'm really, really hungry, too," Haruto said.
Meanwhile, Jiraiya had leaned back, grinning widely.
"I can totally see the plot outline in my head. Quick, I need pen and paper!" Jiraiya declared, pointing his finger at the sky, and gesturing with his other hand as if he expected something to land there. Lo and behold, a poof of smoke revealed the items he'd asked for. Quickly, he put the pen to the recently appeared notebook. "Here we go. The noble maiden embarks on a journey to a distant land, and she does so with her three most trusted retainers, the experienced butler and veteran bodyguard who's been with her for the entirety of her life, the snarky young maid with a heart of gold who served as her childhood friend and the newest addition to her personal retinue, a young, innocent boy sheltered from the world!"
"What the hell…" Satsuki muttered, looking at her teacher as he began to write down what he spoke out loud.
"The maiden's building frustration leads to her angering her beautiful maid, who decides that she needs to be taught a lesson! To teach her a lesson, the maid seeks the help of the experienced veteran, who teaches her how to dominate an uppity woman like the noble mistress! The maid then bends the mistress over her knee, and delivers bare handed punishment!"
"Okay, this is really starting to go way too far," Satsuki said, beginning to dig through her pockets.
"But it only serves to frustrate her mistress even more, ruining her mood, and thus ruining everyone else's! That's when the maid and the veteran come together and decide to use the third wheel at their disposition, the young and nice boy who has unknowingly been the source of their shared mistress's frustrations, as he remains oblivious to her affections! It's through a cunning plan that the noble mistress and the innocent boy are put into a compromising position, only for them to botch it entirely!"
"Lightning or fire? So hard to choose," Satsuki muttered to herself, looking at two tags that lay in her hands.
"Deciding that this is too important to be left to chance, the maid takes it upon herself to facilitate the encounter, and finds herself dragged into it! Lost to her lust, she decides she has truly found happiness in the arms of her lov—"
There was a sound not unlike crackling lightning and a gas explosion happening at the same time, and Jiraiya was promptly silenced.
"That was… excessive," Haruto said, frowning even as he used a napkin to clean the sauce that had gotten on his cheeks while he devoured the heavily condimented meat.
"What was he talking about?" Naruko asked, as she removed the rib she'd just cleaned from in front of her face, which she'd been busy stuffing.
"Nothing important," Satsuki said, simply.
"You look sort of flushed. Are you okay?" Haruto asked. "You might be developing a fever," he added.
"Look, I'm okay, don't worry about it," Satsuki said, shaking her head.
"You sure? It might've been something you ate… or didn't eat," Haruto tried.
"I'm okay, I promise!"
"But you're all red…" Haruto tried once more.
"I'M NOT BLUSHING! I'm not turned on by the thought of spanking Naruko, and I'm DEFINITELY not turned on by the thought of a threesome with you and her! So stop reading into it!" she yelled.
"Eh..? Okay," Haruto said, deciding to focus back on his food, as he went back to eating at a remarkable pace.
Jiraiya, meanwhile, wiped the soot off his no longer spotless outfit. "You know you practically confessed just now, don't you? You're lucky they're both too naive and concentrated on something else to notice."
"STOP IGNORING ME!" the guy from earlier shouted, tossing a fork at them.
Satsuki blocked it with her knife, then turned to glare at the guy. "If you try that again, I won't use a harmless bomb like the ones I used on him," she said, gesturing towards Jiraiya.
"I wonder if you can make an arousal bomb," Jiraiya muttered.
"You assholes!" the guy said, picking up his knife and getting ready to throw it.
A topaz smacked him on the forehead and bounced. He blinked, looking as it traced a small arc in front of him.
Then everything went white for a second, and when the light faded, the guy was sprawled on the ground, clutching at his eyes.
"Nice flashbang," Jiraiya complimented. "That one's new, isn't it?" he asked.
"I can only make decent flashbangs with actual Topaz, though, so they're very expensive," Satsuki admitted. "Probably shouldn't have used it."
"Yeah, probably," Jiraiya said, nodding. "Oh, hey, my ears have stopped ringing."
The barman had approached Team Jiraiya's table shortly after. "Sirs, madams, we're afraid that we're going to have to ask you to leave…" he said.
"You're welcome to try to kick them out before they're done with their meal," Satsuki said, "I'm certainly not going to get in between them and their food after a day of training," she said, grabbing her part of the order and digging into it.
Jiraiya, who already had his filled plate, merely smiled at the guy. "Don't worry, I'll stop any other incident way before it's a problem," he said, patting his chest. "Hey, everyone!" he yelled. "Don't make any more trouble, or I'll be forced to smack a bitch," he said, grinning widely.
"Aye aye, Jiraiya-dono!" the men chorused.
"Do they know you?" Satsuki asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Most of them know of me," Jiraiya said, shrugging. "I'm pretty sure I could take everyone here with my hands tied behind my back and being blindfolded. And that's while accounting for the fact that I have to protect you guys from the ones you can't take on your own. So yeah, I'm pretty sure we shouldn't have further trouble."
Then he grabbed the beer glass in front of Satsuki and switched it with his half empty one.
"Tell you what, you bozos, since you're such a good crowd, how about a round of drinks for everyone on me to apologize for my student's flashbang?" he asked, grinning.
There were a dozen men and half that many women in the bar. Eighteen drinks for all would come to somewhere around two thousand Ryou, because Jiraiya was sure they'd pick the good stuff since he was paying.
Everyone cheered.
Jiraiya made more than those two thousand Ryou per day with his book sales royalty money anyway.
***
"Tink, you asshole, where the hell were you!?" Sharpener shouted, as he and Shinji limped into their command center.
"Ah confirm'd, ahem, I was, 'ow you say, taking care of private business, oui?" the blond fop explained, smiling widely. "Mine spies, zhey 'ave confirmed zhe location of zhe princess and 'er team! Zhey head back to Kono'a!"
"Yeah, yeah, your spies also told us about their mission, and look how THAT turned out!" Sharpener said, pointing at Shinji, who twitched in place and seemed to be frozen, staring at the vast nothingness before him.
"Zhat's 'ardly my fault! Last minute shanges are beyond me!" Tink defended himself.
"Yeah, yeah, whatever! If there's another fuck up like this one, I'll take it out of YOUR ass!" Sharpener said. "We can't set up an ambush tonight anyway, so we'll have to let this chance pass. Ahhh… what I wouldn't give to be in nerdo's position right now! They're probably in some cheap ass motel, right in the middle of nowhere, probably all cold and shit, without blankets, so they have to press real close to each other for warmth… I can just see how they would seek my strong, muscular arms for their comfort and warmth… And then…"
Shinji twitched.
"I zhink 'e needs 'elp," Tink said, scratching his head and looking somewhat worried when he turned towards Shinji.
"Probably should take him to a hospital or something," Sharpener said, frowning and rubbing his chin. "Hey, Tink, can you help me take him to Konoha General?"
"Zhis is no work for one such as moi, I am—"
A loud ringing sound interrupted Tink, causing him to frown.
"Would you excuzes moi? Zhis call, it is very important, yes?"
"Oh, right, sure," Sharpener said. "I'll take this guy to the hospital. Don't eat all my mom's cookies, or I'll seriously give you an atomic wedgie," Sharpener said, picking Shinji up and beginning to limp towards the hospital, probably with the intention of getting himself checked as well.
Tink smiled as he watched them go, cellphone in hand.