The sun had a personal vendetta against Cain.
It wasn't enough that it existed no, it had to invade his room, creeping through the curtains like an overenthusiastic stalker. And worse? It had an accomplice.
"Wake up!"
His mother's voice cut through the air like a war horn, followed by the violent *shhhhk* of curtains being ripped open. Light flooded the room, and Cain let out a noise somewhere between a dying animal and a deflating balloon.
"Ugh… Mom…" He burrowed deeper into his pillow, as if sheer willpower could reverse time and un-exist mornings. "I'm on mid-term break. This is illegal."
"Illegal is you turning into a human-shaped mold on that bed," she said, poking him repeatedly like he was a malfunctioning vending machine. "Up. Now."
"Five more minutes…"
"No."
"Three?"
"I have a slipper and I'm not afraid to use it."
Cain groaned, rolling over like a disgruntled tortoise. "Fine. But I'm doing this under protest."
His mother left, satisfied with her victory, leaving Cain to glare at the ceiling like it had personally betrayed him.
"...I feel like I'm forgetting something," he muttered.
Then it hit him.
Last night.
Three idiots. A dark alley. A fight he didn't even want to be in.
"Ugh. Violence is so… effort."
He dragged himself out of bed, limbs heavy with the weight of it's existence.
The bathroom was Cain's sanctuary, a place where he could brood in peace, contemplate life's mysteries, and occasionally remember to wash.
He stood under the shower, bracing himself for the early morning shower. Morning showers always made him shiver whenever he came out of the bathroom and he never for once liked it, intact he never really liked anything.
"Why… do morning showers have to be so… cold?"
The water hit him like a thousand tiny ice daggers.
"Gah—! Son of a—!" He flailed, slapping the tiles like they owed him money.
[System Notice: Host's combat instincts are returning. Currently at 15% combat experience retrieved.]
Cain blinked at the blue holographic text floating in front of him.
"Oh. Right. The fight."
He sighed. "Great. Now my life's a video game, and I didn't even get to pick the difficulty."
He swiped the notification away and proceeded to sit on the toilet for a solid 30 minutes, lost in thought about life and mysteries of the universe.
"Why do we exist? What's the meaning of life? Why does cereal taste better at 3 AM?"
No answers came, only silence.
Eventually, he showered, singing horribly off-key (his rendition of "Bohemian Rhapsody" would make Freddie Mercury roll in his grave).
When he finally emerged, he didn't even bother drying off properly, just let the water drip everywhere like a half-melted snowman.
Just as Cain was about to dress up and collapse back into bed (his one true love), a sharp *knock-knock-knock* came from his window.
He turned.
And there she was, the most annoying human being he felt God ever created.
Victoria.
Perched on his windowsill like a very attractive (and slightly psychotic) crow waiting to devour his soul without thinking twice.
"What the hell?!" Cain yelped, clutching his chest. "Do you have a death wish?!"
Victoria smirked. "Open the window, Cain."
"And what if i say no?." He folded his hands over his chest.
"Then I'll break it." She raised a stiletto heel threateningly.
"You're a menace to society, " he grumbled, yanking the window open.
She climbed in gracefully, then immediately started inspecting him like a scientist examining a lab rat.
"Hmm. You're looking… less like a sad noodle."
"Wow. Poetry, interesting" Cain deadpanned, pulling on his shirt.
Victoria poked his chest. "No, seriously. You're getting… muscles."
"Disgusting. I'll have to fix that." He said clearly unaffected by the fact a lady had just complimented him.
She rolled her eyes, clearly disappointed. "Anyway, I'm here to meet your parents."
"What? Why?"
"Because I'm delightful."
Cain scoffed, "sure.." he gestured towards his door.
"You're no fun, Cain" she sighed
And with that, she hopped back out the window like a reverse burglar.
Cain stared after her. "...I need to move."
Just as Cain was about to reclaim his rightful place in bed and his fantasy dreams, his mother's voice boomed:
"CAIN! YOUR FRIENDS ARE HERE!"
"I don't have friends," he muttered. "I have annoyances that won't leave me alone."
Downstairs, chaos reigned supreme.
Before Cain could reach the last stair, Orion stood with arms wide open. "Cain, my man!"
Cain walked right past him. "I don't do hugs before noon."
Selene smirked from the couch. "Your mom said we're welcome."
"Then talk to her. Why am I being called here?" Cain grumbled, grabbing coffee like it was his last lifeline.
His mom gasped. "Cain! Don't be rude to your friends!"
"Acquaintances, Mom. Not friends."
Meanwhile, Mira was asleep on the couch, giggling like she was dreaming of burning down a government building.
Ravena adjusted her glasses. "I heard you were attacked last night. You okay?"
Cain choked on his coffee. "How did—?"
"I have spies everywhere."
"That's not a flex, Ravena. And as you can see with your glasses on, I'm better than usual" he said sarcastically, taking a sip of his coffee
[System Notice: Host's memory suppression deflected. Memory Fragment—4%]
Cain rubbed his temples. "Great. Now my brain's glitching too."
"Just one day," he muttered. "One day where nobody bothers me."
[System Notice: Request denied. Host's life is a comedy. Enjoy the chaos.]
Cain sighed.
"...I hate my life."