Jonathan sat back in his chair and said:
"Okay, let's see if I got this right. Dad sides with the humans, how could he not be he is the Bringer of Light. I have known all my life that he is not the literal Devil, or I would never have called him Dad or wanted to have contact with him. I wouldn't have even existed because Mom would rather die than start a relationship with the literal Devil. Michael hates Dad's vision and gets into a big argument with him. An argument that grew into a feud and got worse and worse with Michael until he wanted to go on the warpath and kill Dad. But I suspect that killing Dad because of his image of humanity was not Michael's only motivation. Dad is the first Angel. Metaron is the second but he is Michael's foot-soldier so no problem. Michael is number three and wants to be number one at all costs. As long as Dad exists, exiled to Hell or not, then he is the heir and the only one who can take the throne. There is nothing that could stop Grandma and Grandpa from changing their minds and overturning Dad's ban, should it have existed in the first place. As long as Dad lives, he is a threat to Michael and a possible heir to the throne. Should Dad ever ascend the throne it would not be much fun for Michael and his. So, Dad must disappear to clear the way to the throne for Michael. To save Dad's life, you decide to stage his fall in the hope of calming Michael down. Instead, the opposite happens because unwittingly you have given him a much bigger target. Now Michael suddenly has a much bigger chance of a real war and a massacre. With underlying his aspiration to the throne. You don't have to make up because there is nothing to make up. The story of the Antichrist is concocted because you think it will never actually happen. Dad meets Mom and the mice start dancing because I am the Antichrist in everyone's eyes. I have inherited Mom's mercy, Dad's light, and the power of the three thrones. You fear an imminent war and hope that I can prevent it. You do not oblige or force me to do anything because even in these extreme circumstances you did not want to restrict my free will. Do I have all this correctly?"
Everyone around the table nodded and his grandmother said:
"Absolutely right Jon."
He shook his head and made a glass of his vodka mix appear and everyone let him think for a moment. Finally, he spoke:
"I don't know whether to call you idiots or not. With that, I'm mainly looking at Grandpa. Two observations old man. One, how in Grandma's name did you ever get it into your head to completely give humans a free pass? Humanity is a child. Just like a human child, mankind needs guidance or before you know it they will stick a fork in the socket. And two, why on earth did you have to create warriors Grandpa? Who is there to go to war against or defend you? More importantly, why didn't you contain those jerks when it became clear that misery was coming?"
God replied:
"Michael and his were meant to maintain peace and tranquility in Heaven. Not as offensive soldiers, but more as what today on Earth are called policemen who patrol and assist the inhabitants with advice and counsel. Not only in the city but also in the fields with newly arrived souls. Unfortunately, it became more and more apparent that Michael had a poisoning influence on the Angels and tended toward violence, something that spilled over to the others. The only ones who were immune to it were your dad and the younger Angels. Unfortunately, not enough since there are only 26 here."
Jon shook his head and responded:
"For fuck's sake! The answer to my second question is free will, of course. Even Angels have free will up to some point. And Michael's propensity for violence is based on hate. He is the general and he is going to have hated to see that Dad got the same result and much more done with the Angels and souls with his light and kindness instead of snarling orders. He would have hated that he would always come third in Heaven after Grandpa and Dad!"
He turned to his father.
"Dad, I am not the only one blessed by the three thrones, you are too. You are my father therefore the first in line for the succession to the throne. Then why me?"
"Because I'm too tired Jon. Thousands of years every day preventing a Demon from doing something idiotic that could have triggered that war. But most of all because the five of us here at the table simply realized that you are the much better choice. You know what humanity needs because you are half human and the light and warmth in you is simply unmatchable."
Jon looked at Elise and fell silent for a moment. Finally, he asked her:
"Honey, are you sure you want to do this? That we should do this? We can still go to plan B."
"Love, this is still so extraordinarily big for me that I can't imagine it. But this is the opportunity to be together forever, to save our children, to save all our little brothers and sisters. They hope that you become their leader and that you can save them. Rae Rae, Jo, Zelo, Maggie, and everyone else in that room, humans and Celestials. Yes, we absolutely must do it! I will be the new Mother Nature and Grandma will help me until I completely understand what I must do, I'm sure!"
He didn't have to say anything or ask anything. His grandmother sat nodding vigorously and said:
"With everything I have for as long as it takes Elise, I will serve you when you are the new goddess."
He looked at those present and said briskly:
"We all know that Grandpa worked in mysterious ways and Grandma also worked in mysterious ways but to a lesser extent. This stops now, dammit."
He looked sternly at his grandparents and father and said:
"I'm only going to ask this once, and regardless of your answer, there is no turning back after that. Grandma, Grandpa, Dad are you absolutely sure you want to hand over your powers to me and Elise and give up your connection to your thrones?"
The three did not hesitate for a second and answered in agreement. He nodded in agreement, took a deep breath and said:
"Very well. You three are compulsorily retired with immediate effect! Elise is the new Goddess and I'm the new God from this moment forward! Hence, I am now going to outline briefly what is to happen and this is not open to interpretation or discussion. If you do not agree, well the door is open. You can leave any time, fuck off and get on with all the trouble you have caused up to now."
It was obvious to those present from the intonation of his voice that he spoke like the new God and was anything but in the mood for drivel.
"So I'm sure Mom knows about this whole circus from the beginning and is conspirator number six!"
The five at the table only nodded. Jon shook his head and said:
"Then shall I call in conspirators' number seven, eight, and nine? Thus, the whole little club is complete. This shit show is far from resolved. Not on the Celestial level and not on the fucking human level. We still have a hell of a lot of work to do. Dad, you don't need any more generals. If after this conversation you even think for a second you can still give B&B orders, then we are going to have a serious conversation! Raffa and Grandma will be able to do anything they want but they too will no longer be able to puzzle you together damn it! I'm still so pissed at you guys that it's advisable to keep your heads down for quite a while. Maybe I'll cool off in a few centuries!"
He fired off a prayer:
"Azrael get your ass in here immediately or you can forget about having sex with my Liz ever again! Zelo, Bearus, and Belios the conference room right now! Argo you too and bring Domino."
Less than a minute later, the four Demons, Rae Rae, and Domino flew into the room without knocking. The six of them made a slight bow to Elise and Jon, Azrael said:
"My Lady, My Lord, you called?"
He said:
"Rae Rae if you want to stay my right hand, become the right hand of God, sit down because things are going to get a little crazy after dinner. Zelo, fancy becoming Hell's general manager?"
The young Demon looked at Jon with wide eyes and stammered:
"My Lord, why me? B&B are the generals of Hell. I am but a low-ranking Demon."
"Because Hell needs renewal, modernization. Belios is the perfect general for the administrative shit in Hell. Bearus is the perfect general for manpower and daily policy in Hell. Both are irreplaceable. But I have an idea for a new policy that requires someone younger to serve as general manager. Any interest?"
All the young Demon could do was nod.
"Belios and Bearus will you stay in service, or do you want to retire like Dad? And if you want to stay on duty, do you have problems with Zelo in his new position?"
"No problem boss, just try to stop us. Someone has to train and keep an eye on those young Celestials."
Replied Bearus with a thick smile and without hesitation, the six of them took their seats. Bearus looked him sternly in the eyes and said:
"As long as we can have some fun along the way I'm okay with anything boss..."
Jon shook his head amusedly.
"Let me start with you six. Only when we're working do you use the titles! Got it? Other than that, we're just Elise and Jonathan!"
At the same time, the six of them replied:
"Yes My Lord!"
He nodded and then looked at his grandparents and father:
"I hope you didn't make any mistakes in your little plan this time because Grandpa has been known to make mistakes in his designs! For heaven's sake, have you looked at the platypus yet? Dad must have gotten you pretty wasted there Grandpa."
Which elicited a giggle around the table. He took a deep breath and shot into his new role as God:
"As of today, Angels and Demons no longer exist. As of today, only Celestials exist. These will cooperate with each other, support and help each other, and above all, they will live together in a place of their choice either Heaven or for the next few centuries Eden. The first one who tries to create discord will appear in my shit book for the next few centuries. Second, the people we are going to bring to Eden are going to be ruled by a council made up of humans and Celestials. The sole purpose of the council is the welfare of all, no exception. We are going to guide humans with a gentle hand into a future where they will not kill the planet again and we will help them to colonize their solar system, their Milky Way, their galaxy, and the entire universe. Three since Elise and myself have so few Celestials we will elevate people to Celestials. That way the few Celestials that currently exist will have the chance at romantic love and maybe even a first generation of Celestials that will be born instead of created. Four, I'm going to shut the old Heaven down but not in the way you might think now. I'm going to hermetically seal off the city from the fields and keep the fields freely accessible. That means that souls will be able to travel freely back and forth between the old Heaven and the new one so that loved ones will never be sealed off from each other and they will have the choice of where they want to live. An added benefit is that Michael and his idiots will not be able to access the fields and harass the souls."
He looked at his father and asked:
"Have you sent all the Demons but those of Dis to the lower regions, level five and further down?"
The Devil nodded, not really understanding what his son wanted with that.
"Okay, from the moment the transfer of power is completed I am going to create an unbreakable barrier between level four and level five. Why? The case with Liz's little brother got me thinking. I have concluded that there must be an incredible number of souls like Tim who are worth trying to help and take them to Heaven. I refuse to believe that all souls in Hell are lost. If Tim is more than worthy of being taken to Heaven then there must be others. We cannot use the Demons from the lower circles. With them, everything is based on violence, punishment, and sadism. Celestials like Argo and Zelo from Dis are perfectly suited to set up this project, though. Yes, some will still be punished. It is, unfortunately, human nature that serial killers and child rapists and murderers will exist from time to time. But our main goal as of now is a rescue operation!"
He lit another cigarette:
"Is this clear?"
The heads of those at the table slowly began to spin. They did not know this Jon. They knew the Antichrist with a terribly short fuse who would turn to violence at the slightest whim. An Antichrist who was more than clearly capable of laying out a long-term strategy that would benefit everyone but whose tendency to strike ferociously was clearly still present was something completely new. The five could not help but be impressed while Elise and Liz sat and listened with warm smiles.
"Dad if Mom is your great love, then I very strongly suspect you want to take her to the new Heaven?"
The big evil Devil lowered his head, but everyone saw that his eyes were watery. He said in a small voice:
"Yes, if the new God could work that into his strategy and allow it."
Jon threw his arms in the air and said:
"For the love of all that is holy and unholy, why wouldn't I want to do that? It's my mom and I don't have to change my strategy. I had most of this shit figured out by now!"
He looked at Elise:
"Love, do you want your mom in the new Heaven too?"
She got tears in her eyes and said:
"Very much Jon because I love my mom."
He got his sneaky smile around his mouth and said:
"Well if I want to marry you then surely there must be someone to whom I should be able to ask for your hand."
Her eyes twinkled at those words. He looked at Liz who was already looking at him with tears in her eyes:
"Your little brother is ready to move to Heaven. So?"
"Please yes Jon, I want to be able to embrace him again."
He merely nodded and turned to the conspirators again:
"Reading the file on Liz's brother made me realize that these souls don't belong in Hell forever, so we're going to get them out! No argument! The human fields in Heaven are the same. An impenetrable shield between the city and the fields so the souls are safe from Michael, but we can still collaborate with them anytime when needed."
He pointed to his father and grandparents.
"I've had enough of this bullshit, and it stops here! No title for you guys, not even an honorary title. You are from now on Grandpa Robert and Grandpa Lu. Grandma of course not. Grandma will get any title she wants from me just because she managed to last an eternity with you two idiots without getting hooked on drugs and booze!"
This elicited wide smiles and giggles from the ladies present.
"Once Heaven and Hell are sealed, I immediately create a new Heaven and Hell. Thus, new thrones are created, and the old Heaven and Hell are permanently closed. This is for everyone, Liz is my left hand!"
He slammed his hand on the table:
"If Elise or I am unavailable for any reason, there is no higher authority than her. Make that damn clear to everyone and never let me snap at anyone who doesn't treat her with the respect that comes with her position. I may be the new God, but my equipment is still hanging in the closet and I'm not going to have a problem getting it out! Got it?"
Everyone around the table nodded, overwhelmingly sensing that the Crown Prince of Hell was lurking beneath the surface, shaking at the bars of his cage from time to time. He pointed to Rae Rae:
"Just before Grandpa and Dad transfer their powers to me and Grandma to Elise you go like lightning to Heaven, and you take Muriel with you. There you pick up the souls of Elise's mom and my mom. You leave Heaven with them immediately. Don't hesitate for a second! Do you understand? You Bearus to Hell and you pick up Liz's little brother like lightning!"
The Angel and the Demon only nodded.
"You will feel the old Heaven and old Hell being shut down, no more Angel out and no more Angel in. You will feel the new Heaven emerging and then you will immediately bring their souls there! Since you are all Celestials from now on former Demons will have no problem entering the new Heaven. Timing is damn important because there will only be a few seconds between closing and arising!"
He turned to his father:
"Dad, from the moment you feel the new Heaven you come up and take care of our mothers. You take Raffa with you because Tim will need help to acclimate to Heaven after his stay in Hell. It will still completely empty there, except for miles and miles of grass, so it will be pretty crappy for a few days. Tim is barely fifteen so he will need some gentle help. The palace will look exactly like the Deflin house. I don't want a fucking giant monstrosity like there is one in Heaven now. I have absolutely nothing to compensate for… Grandpa!"
At the latter, he had looked at his grandfather with a smirk, and the God's mouth had immediately dropped open wide.
"The hall we use tonight will be the throne room. I will divide the top floor into two extensive suites for now. On the left for you and Mom, on the right for Grandma and Grandpa. On the second floor, there will be rooms for Raffa and Tim. Elise's mom will stay with you and mom for a while pap. Say we're sorry we can't welcome them in person, we'll be busy binding with the thrones. And give me a damn list of names of Demons you had selected but couldn't be here so as not to upset the balance."
Now it was Belios' turn:
"You are gone are going to make sure the trailers out there get occupants. First, ask for volunteers to shack up together in a trailer for a while. Each trailer has two bedrooms so that shouldn't be a problem, plenty of room for everyone. Everyone as of tomorrow morning no wings for now. Make that very clear to those young enthusiasts because there are a lot of people coming here tomorrow morning to deliver new trailers. I am so not in the mood for a lot of heart attacks among humans! Then you choose a living unit on the floor upstairs. You choose one or share one together I don't care. I want senior staff around. There are twelve units so plenty of room too, Muriel, Jo, and Zelo are here too and one of you always keeps an eye on Cas until we get back or I'm going to get fucking pissed! You'll wish you had stayed behind in the old Heaven or Hell once I'm done with you! That goes for you too Rae Rae pick a unit, or you stay in your guest room at our house the choice is yours."
Jon pointed to his uncle and aunt:
"Uncle J and Aunt M for you just the same, pick a living unit. Those are big enough for four because that's what I made them for."
Last in line were his grandparents:
"And you two, you are so happy to be grandma and grandpa and want more grandchildren so badly. Well, then you are going to be able to practice because you are off babysitting duty. Sam and Jules are on time in their beds because they must go to school tomorrow. I don't care but Cas at the same time, we will put her on the same schedule as the two others. Davy when he starts to get tired because that kid has been through enough the last few years. Fay, Hope, and Pam know themselves when to crawl in. It's a school day tomorrow so you two are not running with the rules. Doesn't matter that we are the new God and Goddess their asses are in school tomorrow, of all of them!"
His father asked:
"Jon, why the list? If you shut down Hell, then no Demon can get out."
Everyone could immediately sense that he was getting pretty pissed off again.
"Did you not fucking listen? Dis will be a free zone! I'm going to fucking drag those 21 of yours out of Hell and then those 21-winged idiots of mine out of Heaven. Bearus and Belios, I will make the Demons appear next to the pool at one o'clock noon. Collect them, all 47 of them, control them, and brief them on what's going on. Rae Rae, with me in the great hall together with the 25 that are already here minus Cas. The first general meeting with everyone attending is not until two o'clock. I'm going to take some damn time first to yell and rant at my idiots and kick them in the ass so hard they'll taste leather for weeks! After that Rae Rae, you can happily play with them for a while. If you need to knock heads together to get their minds in the right place, feel free!"
Rae Rae had been observing the two new Gods very closely as she had done several times before. She thought:
"Yes, this is the beginning of our new future. The way his wife looks at him, the way he looks at his wife, how they look at the children together. Everyone in the new Heaven, the New Hell and Eden, and later again the rest of Earth will always feel assured of their friendship, support, love, light, and warmth. But Jonathan will never reign as the old God. No mysterious ways, he will always express himself crystal clear. Very, very loud if necessary."