"Hello, everyone... I'm Yoon Soobin.
I know many of you will be shocked to see me after such a long time. For more than a year, I've been hiding—not because I wanted to, but because I was afraid. Afraid of facing the truth, afraid of the guilt that haunted me every waking moment. But now I see how wrong I was. I should have faced everything back then. I should have stood by her when she needed me the most. But I didn't. And because of that... I lost Jia.
At the time, I made the gravest mistake of my life. I didn't believe her. When the rumors spread, I hesitated, and in that moment of hesitation, So Yejoon took his chance. I thought he was my best friend. I thought Jia would be safe with him, that we both could trust him with all our hearts. But I was wrong. So terribly wrong. By the time I realized what was happening, it was too late. Jia was gone.
To all of you who have supported me for so long, I owe you an apology. I've been a coward. I disappeared when I should have stood tall and fought for the truth. I left you in the dark, hiding behind my own fear and guilt. But today, I'm here to say I'm sorry—not just to all of you, but to Jia.
The whole situation feels like a cruelly scripted play, where Jia and I were nothing more than puppets in Yejoon's hands. I didn't see it then, but I see it now. And no matter how late it is, I vow to seek justice for Jia.
She believed in me, even when the world didn't. But when she needed me most, I faltered. I let her face the storm alone. To all of you who still remember her, I beg you—don't make the same mistake I did. Stand by her now, even though she's no longer with us. Jia might have become the brightest star in the sky, but I know she's watching us. I can feel her presence, her warmth, her love...
I promise you, I will not disappoint her again.
But I have one last thing to share with you. From this moment forward, you will no longer see me as an idol. The day I lost Jia, I lost the part of me that made performing meaningful. My love for her was never official, but it was everything to me. Today, I have officially left my group, Bond One. It was not an easy decision—I love my members with all my heart. I will support them until my very last breath. But I can no longer stand on that stage without her in my life.
This is not the end of my journey; it's the beginning of a new one. I'll find a different path, a different purpose. But Jia... she will always remain my guiding light.
Take care, and take love, Yoon Soobin."
The dim light from my phone screen illuminated the otherwise dark room as I finished watching Soobin hyung's video. His trembling voice, the raw pain in his words, felt like shards of glass piercing through my chest. Jia noona's face flashed before my eyes—her radiant smile, her laughter that once lit up every room she entered. And then, the silence she left behind.
Jihyo sat beside me, her small hands balled into fists. Her voice broke the suffocating silence.
"Oppa, I hate him."
I turned to her, startled by the venom in her tone. "Why?"
"Why did he hide himself? Why didn't he do anything? Jia unnie needed him, and he vanished!" Her eyes brimmed with frustration, but beneath it, I saw pain.
"That moment was crucial," I said, trying to keep my voice steady. "You're too little to understand."
Her lips trembled, her defiance unwavering. "Some people will still hate him. Like me."
I sighed, dragging a hand through my hair. "It's not abnormal. People love to hate. They give it freely, without understanding, without knowing the weight of their words." I paused, my throat tightening. "They did the same to Jia noona. She endured so much hate, so much cruelty. But when she…" My voice cracked, but I forced myself to continue. "When she passed away, everyone pretended to love her. This circle of hypocrisy never ends."
"So, you're supporting Yoon Soobin?" she asked, her voice trembling with a mixture of anger and curiosity.
"Yes," I replied without hesitation.
Jihyo's eyes widened in disbelief. "Oppa, bring him here."
"Why?"
"I'll ask him myself what he mixed in your food to make you defend him." Her sarcasm stung, but I knew it came from a place of hurt.
"Don't act like you know everything!" My voice rose, sharper than I intended. She flinched, her stubbornness faltering for a moment.
I softened my tone, guilt creeping in. "Jihyo, You can't speak to people like that, not without understanding their pain. Soobin hyung didn't just lose Jia noona; he lost himself. His silence wasn't cowardice—it was his way of coping with an unimaginable loss."
Her lips quivered, but she said nothing. The fight in her eyes dimmed as she rose and walked to her room, closing the door softly behind her.
Alone again, I stared at the paused frame of Soobin hyung on my screen. His expression haunted me—grief-stricken, yet resolute. For the first time, I understood what he had lost, what he had endured in silence.
As I replayed his words in my mind, a tear slipped down my cheek.
"Hyung," I whispered into the quiet room, "I'll stay by your side. For Jia noona. For you."
Next morning I prepared breakfast for Jihyo and me. She came out from her room with puffy eyes, she cried all night. I could see it in her eyes. Did I sold her too much? She didn't say a word which wasn't her personality since she was always loud and cheerful. Maybe Our Dad and Her Mom didn't ever scold her. I broke the silence and said,
"Jihyo, I'm sorry."
She didn't answer and she was about to leave without having breakfast. I said again,
"Jihyo, I scolded you and apologized. Maybe I'm your stepbrother but a brother after all. So let me take care of you. You want this, right? You told me when you came here first that you always wanted a brother. Let me be the one for you and you're still little, you might not understand what's happening around you. So don't misunderstand Soobin Hyung. He's a wonderful guy."
After hearing me Jihyo started to cry loudly, came towards me, hugged me all of a sudden and said with trembling voice,
"Don't ever scold me again, Oppa. Dad and mom never scolded me. So I'm not used to it."
"Okay…." I was frustrated for that sudden hug since there was no one in the world who ever hugged me like that. This was the first time someone hugged me like that. I was standing like a statue, I wanted to pat her back to calm her down but I couldn't for my shyness and frustration. She opened her puppy eyes after ruining my T-shirt with her tears and said,
"Oppa, I'm hungry."
"Alright eat now. I've prepared breakfast. And don't cry."
She slightly bowed her head towards me. I was so confused and asked,
"What?"
"Pat my head, Oppa. I loved it when mom and dad patted my head."
"Ahh..OK OK…" I patted her head softly for the first time.
After her leaving for school, I lied down in my bed, I wanted to get some sleep since I had no class that day. I closed my eyes and then found myself in a office room. Gosh! I was seeing the future vision again. It was not ordinary office. I was trying to figure out what it was. Then someone tapped on my back twice and said,
"You've been waiting for one hour, son. I'm sorry for that. I had an important meeting."
When I was about to turn around my vision stopped. I couldn't see anymore vision except that person's one golden teeth. I woke up, I knew I couldn't sleep anymore since I just saw another viison of what would happen in future soon. I took my phone,there were some messages from Yujin and Sera. I opened Yujin's message first. He texted,
"Taesan, I'm sorry. I didn't have any idea about how cruel my big brother was. I don't know how to face you. Forgive me. I don't wanna lose our friendship."
I replied him,
"Don't worry, let's talk tomorrow."
Then I opened Sera's inbox. She texted,
"Taesan, call me when you're free."
I didn't want to reply her. The thing Dohyun said to me was still in my mind. Maybe I confused her, i didn't want to grow any romantic feelings for anyone while my life was a mess. All I had to do was start to avoid her. I didn't want make her life hell like me. She already got hurt twice. I wanted to protect her by avoiding her.