CHAPTER 1 - A Strange Boy
"Don't go near him, he's crazy."
"He's always talking to himself."
"He doesn't have real friends, that's why he makes them up."
… So many annoying voices… I still remember the voices of the kids who mocked me. The people who judged me without knowing me. The insults. The humiliation.
To be honest, I didn't really care what the people around me thought of me, but it still hurt because it was a reminder that I would never be a normal person like them.
I've always wanted to be a normal person, but I never managed to.
"Ignore them, Saik, you're not crazy, you're just different from the rest."
"It's true, ignore those insults, words are just words. If you don't let them offend you, they won't hurt you."
The ghosts were my only friends, but I decided to distance myself from everyone. My family thought I was strange. The kids thought I was strange. The whole world thought I was strange, which is why I decided to keep my distance from everyone and stay quiet. I would never feel comfortable socializing with living humans, so I didn't even try.
I got used to keeping a serious face so the ghosts wouldn't notice I could see them, and I even let my hair grow to cover my eyes so they wouldn't look into them and suspect me. The less contact I had with ghosts, the more normal I would be.
Everyone thinks I'm an emotionless boy, but I have fun and feel sadness too. I got used to not smiling, which is why I never smile and keep a serious expression.
I sacrificed my childhood and my mental and physical health just to try to be normal… but I failed. No matter what I tried, I didn't fit into society and always ended up disappointing my parents.
I really tried to be a good student, but I would get stressed and stop studying, choosing to play or sleep instead.
I felt embarrassed for my classmates, so I never tried to make friends… And, well, also because I was too lazy to socialize.
I don't want to make friends; they're unnecessary in my life, but… Ah, I don't know… This little girl is so… adorable and innocent… like a younger sister.
… A younger sister… Maybe…
Ah… I decided never to get involved with ghosts, but she's a different case.
"My name is Saik. What's yours, little girl?"
She hesitated for a few seconds, looking at me with confusion and fear. Well, after all, I'm a human talking to a ghost. I'm probably the first person she's met who can see her, and she's lucky because the people who share my ability usually treat ghosts like mere objects.
… Well, I did too at first, but I learned to work with them, and as long as they treat me well, I'll treat them well.
"M-my name is Yuki… Are you a ghost too? How did you open the door? Teach me how to touch objects, please!"
"No, I'm alive."
"Y-you're alive?! And why can you see me?!"
"Hmm… I never knew. As far back as I can remember, I've always seen ghosts… Well, it was nice meeting you, you can go now."
She lowered her gaze, and I felt sadness in her being.
Yes, I confirmed what I feared the most. A ghost unable to leave. Her soul is too weak and fragile; it clung to staying in this world, and that damaged her soul. You deserved to rest in peace, but you chose to stay in this world. Why? Who did you love so much that you preferred to endure immense pain just to stay here?
To be able to endure the pain of feeling your soul being damaged, to not go to paradise and stay here… This little girl has incredible willpower, worthy of my respect.
"I… I'm sorry. I can't leave. I've tried many times, but I can't go."
"Ah, I see, you're the kind of ghost that can't leave… Got it… I'll go get some holy water. I'll be back in a few minutes."
"Uwaaaah! Are you trying to kill me?! I'm already dead, I don't want to die again! No, no, no!"
Yes, she wants to stay in this world, even though she can't leave this house.
She wants to keep living because she has hope that one day she'll be able to leave and enjoy life again. I can still feel hope in her; she refuses to give up so easily.
I see. Yuki, why do you cling to this world? Who do you love so much? Your parents? The life you never got to enjoy?
Do you want to travel the world as a ghost? See your family and friends again?
If so, I admire your perseverance.
To be able to keep going and not give up. I don't feel any negative energy in you, not even a trace, which means you didn't let sadness control your life.
Yuki, you may have died as a little girl, but you have more courage than any adult could ever hope to have.
"I'm sorry, but it's uncomfortable for me to have you here… By the way, I guess you were murdered. I didn't know this house was used by a family before. My parents never told me anything about it."
"I lived with my mother in this house five years ago. One day, a man came into the house and killed me. I never knew why he attacked me. He just came in, stabbed me, and left," she said, pointing to her chest.
She was stabbed in the heart, so that man's goal was to kill her, not just hurt her.
"Ah… He didn't assault you or steal anything?"
"No, he just killed me."
Ah, I see. Yes, your mother probably got involved with the wrong person, and that person sent an assassin to kill you as revenge. I've seen that kind of thing many times in my life.
An innocent person paying for someone else's sins. How unfair.
"That's strange. There must be some hidden motive… Ah, honestly, I don't care. I'll go get the holy water."
"Uwaaaah! You're the worst! Heartless monster! You're supposed to feel sorry for me and let me live here!"
Live here… with me?
At that moment, I remembered my ability and my mother's words… The words I overheard when she was arguing with my father about my behavior. "His grades are getting worse, he has no friends, and he's always talking to himself… What did we do wrong?"
… My mother felt guilty about my behavior… I disappointed my mother. Surely my mother wanted a smart and sociable son like her… My mother was a beautiful and intelligent woman. She helped me study, but I got distracted easily… She wanted a perfect son, and she ended up with a stupid one.
I want to fulfill that dream for my mother.
I want to be a normal person.
I want to be the best student, one who makes my parents proud.
And… I want to be able to feel happiness again.
I don't want to be alone… I don't want to.
"You know, my mother wanted her son to be intelligent… I want to fulfill her dream… I'll graduate as the best in school… But I need your help."
"My help? How?"
"Listen, I can't become intelligent overnight, so I'll cheat. You'll give me the exam answers, and I'll give you a home. Do we have a deal?"
I don't really need her help, but I want her to feel useful to me and not like a burden in my life.
This little girl feels like a younger sister, and I need someone like that in my life to keep from going crazy.
It's a win-win. I give her a home, and she keeps me company in this new life without my parents. The company of an adorable little sister will make me feel less sad and, maybe, make me feel like a big brother, useful, and not… a useless person whose life no longer has meaning.
"But that's wrong. That's cheating. Wouldn't your mother be disappointed?"
Yes and no. She'd be mad if she knew I cheated, but if I become truly intelligent, my past cheating would be forgiven… I suppose.
"No. Listen. I want to attend the elite school 'Raikon.' I need to be intelligent to get into that school. While I'm at school, I'll study hard, I promise, but I need to maintain excellent grades to be the best in school. While I become intelligent, you'll help me and give me the answers."
That school is extremely expensive and unusual, but it'll be worth attending. It's the perfect school for someone like me, who prefers to avoid unnecessary trouble with annoying classmates.
Their education system is strange and very strict, but I think I'll survive without any issues.
A perfect school, a little sister, a normal life without ghosts or secret organizations messing up my existence. No evil ghosts trying to control the world. No nuns with disturbing pasts. Much less drug lords with spiritual powers controlling the drug market, meddling in my life.
A normal life without problems and with the company of an adorable ghost girl… Ah, I think I can enjoy this new life while fulfilling my mother's dream.
"I guess you're right… If you become intelligent, it won't matter if you cheat… But I can't leave this place. I'm sorry, I won't be able to help you. B-but I can tell you jokes so you don't get bored and…!"
I gently patted her head, and she got nervous since she wasn't used to physical contact with another person.
"D-don't mess up my hair!"
"Done."
"Huh…? Huh?! I-it's true, w-why can I feel your hand?"
"Let's just say it's an ability."
I developed this ability while ignoring ghosts.
I could pass through ghosts when I ignored them, but when I wanted to talk to them, they could touch me, and I could touch them. If I want, Yuki can touch me, but if I don't, she can't.
This effect doesn't just work with me; it works with other objects too, as long as I want her to be able to touch them.
For example, a plate. If I don't want her to, she can't pick it up, but if I do, she can lift it with her hands.
After explaining this to her, she immediately smiled with joy and took my hand.
How cute. I definitely made the right decision. Having her by my side will make my life less difficult, and maybe, I'll even enjoy it, at least a little.
"I can finally take a bath! It's been so long since I bathed! I'll stop being stinky Yuki and go back to being clean and beautiful Yuki!"
"Ghosts can't get dirty, don't worry, you don't stink. Aren't you going to ask how you'll leave this place?"
"Ah… That's right… How?"
"Simple. Ghosts who can't leave a certain place are weak ghosts, ghosts with weak souls… Or so a ghost told me, I'm not sure if it's true. You became stronger because now you can touch objects, and so you can leave without any problems."
She stared into my eyes, her eyes starting to well up with tears.
You really missed being able to leave, didn't you?
"And how long does the effect last?"
"As long as I want. I'm the only one who can deactivate it."
"… Thank you."
She hugged me tightly and started crying.
"Thank you so much! Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, really, thank you so much!"
"… You're welcome?"
Ah, well… This isn't so bad… Having company will be nice.
A little sister, what I always dreamed of having… I hope her company helps me keep going and not give up on my dream.
You're my only hope, Yuki… My only hope of feeling like a normal person.