Past
The walk home was in total silence as each of them were deep in thought, yeah, Yan is right, Han is the only one to make a decision here and they will respect whatever her choice is. Their house stood humbly at the foot of a mist-laced hill, its tiled roof sagging under the weight of time and moss. Walls of sunbaked mud bore the soft scars of decades gone, and the wooden beams, darkened by smoke and rain, creaked softly in the breeze. A faded red banner fluttered weakly on the doorway, the ink of good fortune long blurred by weather. Chickens clucked freely in the yard, scratching the packed earth beside rows of drying garlic strung like trophies across a crooked bamboo pole, Yan opens the door, and Yun helps her in placing the basket in their places, Yan gives a nod at Wei who runs directly to his sister's room.
His sister lay curled on the narrow wooden bed, head buried deep in the old linen pillow, her shoulders rising with each quiet breath. The room was dim, lit only by the afternoon sun filtering through rice paper windows. Her silence hung thick in the air, and the way her fingers clenched the edge of the blanket told him this was retreat. Maybe from him. Maybe from the whole world. The floor was a quiet mess of old books, as if she'd searched through them in a flurry and given up halfway.
"Han?" he slowly calls with his voice as little as possible; she turns her face away from him and looks at the wall. "I'm sorry" he says, and she hurriedly stands up like the bed just hurt something in her and she runs to him and hugs him tight while he starts crying. "If I kept what I saw to myself and never answered to Madam Chi you wouldn't be this sadden" he cries, "If I had just kept what I saw to myself… if I hadn't answered Madam Chi…" he sobbed, his voice cracking.
Han's arms tightened around him, and for a long moment, she didn't say anything. Her face was buried in his shoulder, her breaths trembling against the fabric of his robe. Then, slowly, she pulled back, eyes red but dry, as if she'd run out of tears long ago.
"You didn't do anything wrong," she whispered. "You only told the truth."
"But it hurt you."
"It wasn't you who hurt me," she said, brushing his cheek with her thumb. "It was them. It was always him."
Around them, her scattered books lay untouched on the floor, spines bent, pages fluttering gently in the breeze from the window. The ribbon-bound stack sat in the corner like a forgotten promise. Her bed was still warm, but now it looked like it had witnessed something too heavy for its soft blankets to hold.
He looked down, ashamed. "I just wanted them to stop bothering you."
"I know." She touched her forehead to his. "You tried to protect me. That's more than any man has ever done."
"Are you sad because he's going to marry that girl?" he asks, voice small but steady after finally managing to wipe away his tears.
To him, no village girl could ever match his sisters. Yan, with her long, flowing hair and legs tall enough to reach even the highest shelves. Han, the cleverest and kindest of them all—he once saw her helping a girl at the farm search for lost tools, her deep brown eyes full of patience. And Yun… well, Yun could be annoying at times, but when she wanted to help, no one was more reliable.
His sisters were perfect. It was the villagers who were blind.
With a soft sigh, Han pulls him gently to sit on her bed. Her fingers glide through his hair, brushing it back with care, her silence more comforting than words. "I am sad but it is not the end of the world, you know, hmm… it was my fault I decided to like someone who will never even look at me and I am sure it will be over soon and maybe I will be lucky enough to find a husband that likes me for me" she says, it does hurt, she had never loved someone before and the first time she saw him, he looked so like in the books she read, or so she thought. Chun work for the imperial family, she knows nothing of his job as she never ask she just happen to listen to the farmers one day and they said he was doing great, for her, he had very long and pretty fingers, like he had never work or seen hardship, his eyes were so deep and smile so bright, his words so purposely elegant that she could not stop comparing him to Cangjie, yes, he was that important to her but deep down she knew fiction was never to happen in her life but she still hope for it each time he will smile or do something good to her.
"Do you think someone like that exists?"
"Yes, if mother had a man like dad, I am sure there are other men just like him, they are just too far to see and too close for others to notice" yes, she was confident she will meet someone the gods have chosen, she wasn't the first woman to ever love the wrong person, pray, her older sister had the most cruelest things and she remember having nightmares for days. She loved reading novels where the girl finally had the courage to embrace her love for the man she gazed at but she had never thought of the other side characters that was abandoned to fight for herself until her sister had the same book title on her life just that she wasn't eloping but the one giving the blessing and since then had she always hated such story lines. They never spoke of the ones left behind but centered themself on the main characters, what of their cries and sleepless night? Asking themself if they will ever be enough for someone, and now she also has to embrace the cruel side of reality were the knight watches his queen take the hand of another man with anything but feeling of joy and prayers for she will always wish him a happy marriage, she will just hope Yun face not such a thing in her life, she has just reached the age of hairpin, it mustn't be her priority now.
"Can I say something?" he asks, and she hums in approval. "If you are going to look at him tonight, make it your last time. Yan said you are the only one to make a decision here, if you drink the antidote early, then you will heal earlier but if you keep drinking then you will catch another disease and I doubt there's a medicine that cures antidote" finishing he hears his sister laughter's filling the room and this brightens his face more, at least he could make her laugh.
"Where did you pick up all this serious talk? Lately, you've been acting more grown-up than Father," she says, smiling as her laughter fades. "You're only twelve, sweetheart. You shouldn't be carrying so much on your shoulders. We're your older sisters—we're the ones who are supposed to look out for you, not the other way around."
"But I am the second man of the family and the only one who isn't busy," shrugging he continues, "so, it is more likely me who has to keep an eye on the beautiful queens of this house." Yes, if a man isn't able to love his sister as he should then he will protect them and show the world that they were never alone to begin with, he is not a full man but there is no age to define strength and bravery.
"You are the hero of this family, Wei Zhaoyun live to the fullest and trust your judgments, because without you I will be a better fool"