System: [New Mission: Experience Cultural Bonding With The Girls… In A Mixed Hot Spring] Reward: MAXED Luck Stat (Temporarily) Penalty: Slippery Slope Into Awkward Fanservice Territory]
Me: "Nope. I'm out. This is bait. Ultra bait."
System: [You Have Been Force Teleported. Have a steamy time.]
I opened my eyes inside a traditional Japanese-style inn nestled in the mountains, with steam rising in elegant trails outside the sliding doors.
"Why am I in a yukata?" I asked aloud.
"Why are we in yukatas?" Cynthia echoed, tugging at her robe and glaring at the System icon floating above her head.
Akira peeked into the room. "The hot spring's ready~! The sign says 'Mixed Bathing OK!' with a smiley face. That's totally normal, right?"
"I'm going to jail," I muttered.
Nari, already holding a towel and exuding menace, stepped in. "You look way too excited. Stop it."
"I'm literally vibrating in fear."
"Sure."
In the changing room, the System dropped its next surprise.
System: [Bonus Mission: Resist Looking At Any Girl For Longer Than 3 Seconds] Reward: Dignity Restoration Token Failure: Immediate Public Roast (Live Commentary)]
"Challenge accepted," I whispered like an action movie protagonist.
And then I stepped into the hot spring.
Steam swirled. Bare shoulders shimmered. My brain panicked.
Cynthia was already soaking with a sake bottle in hand. "Welcome to the shame zone."
Akira cannonballed in, splashing everyone. "This is so relaxing I might never leave."
Luna emerged from the steam with two towels barely hanging on and said, "Oops. One of them slipped."
"NOPE." I turned around so fast I dislocated a vertebrae.
System: [Warning: 2.9 seconds eye contact. You were this close.]
"Can we all act normal for five minutes?" I begged.
Sera appeared like a ghost in the mist. "Normal doesn't exist here."
"...true."
We played a hot spring word game. The loser had to answer a spicy question from the group. I lost every round.
"Ethan," Luna grinned, "do you fantasize about anyone here?"
I considered lying. I really did.
But Nari stared at me with a look that could vaporize steel. "Choose your next words very carefully."
"...Yes?"
Chaos erupted.
Akira laughed so hard he choked on his drink. Cynthia clapped like she was watching a rom-com. Sera scribbled something in a black notebook titled List of Sins.
System: [Bond With All Girls: +1. Your shame fuels the narrative.]
Later that night, I escaped the hot spring and collapsed onto my futon.
Only to find Luna, Nari, and Cynthia already waiting there.
"...Are we having a sleepover?" I asked, voice cracking.
"Something like that," Cynthia said with a wink.
"You're the only one with a private room," Luna added.
"System," I whispered in panic. "Emergency evacuation."
System: [Negative. You Must Endure.]
I lay back as three girls argued over who got which side of the futon. I had been turned into a body pillow.
System: [Mission Complete. You Have Unlocked Title: Hot Spring Survivor – Sus Level MAXED] Temporary Perk: +5 Luck (Applies To Romantic Entanglements Only)]
I sighed.
Me: "This is my life now."
System: [You Love It, Admit It.]
Me: "...No comment."