'Not even his own shadow followed Askia.'
The statement resounded and pulsated in his mind while his icy-blue eyes—pale, almost translucent blue, but lusterless and dull, wandered off—losing their focus with absent-mindedness evident in them.
"Askia..shade…shadow.."
He muttered as his eyes drifted away staring deep into the void. The statement occupied his mind while the recent worries were subsided by it.
Askia was born on 30th of August of 2007. Like other tramps, his birthdate wasn't of much significance to Askia, but that day was one of those days that were indelible to him. But why? Was it because that was the last time he felt the warmth of his mother or because that was the only day he was treated as a normal human?
Askia himself wasn't sure of the reason. But he recorded that date as 'The Day when I was put in misery by The God.'
He was born without a shadow.
God didn't behold him with His merciful eyes.
As Askia was gazing aimlessly, suddenly he realised someone was looking at him. He followed the direction and saw that a person with a gentlemanly demeanor with warm, bright yellow eyes and a beam on his face was inspecting him. He sat at the corner seat—exactly in the opposite direction where Askia stood.
It made Askia eerily uncomfortable and he changed his position and went towards the other half of the compartment.
In a train, full of passengers, it wasn't considered unusual if someone stares at you, and Askia was used to people staring at him—with disdain, contempt, disgust and sometimes fear.
But what made him feel wary and uncomfortable was that the person was beaming at him. A radiant smile is the last thing he would expect someone to wear while they look at him. This, along with his strange observation that no one had noticed him after entering the station, caused a cold sweat to run down his spine.
As he moved towards the other side, he tried painting the face of the strange man in his mind, but to no avail. He couldn't remember his countenance except for the beam and warm, bright yellow eyes.
As he pressured himself to remember his features, he experienced an explosion—exuding blinding rays of light in his mind. He got startled and rubbed his eyes and realised it was an illusion.
No, not an illusion. It was something of a psychological experience.
He deduced that it was more than an illusion, since his temple was strained like someone had flashed a torch extremely close to his eyes.
Did it happen because of him? It's possible.
As he made a preliminary assumption, he decided against thinking about the strange man. Thankfully, the ache in his temple quickly subsided.
But, Askia marked something unwonted.
The volcano of past traumas that had erupted in his mind were long gone. Usually, whenever he grieved about his past, it took him at least an hour of absent-mindedness to comfort himself. Also, the physical afflictions and torment that he was accustomed to, were miraculously healed. His icy-blue eyes, which were lusterles and looked dead, lit up with a yellowish hue. They came alive.
His body joints felt oiled and sluggish movements were now replaced with agility.
The prolonged exhaustion was replaced by exorbitant energy. He was rejuvenated.
It was as if someone had healed his soul.
Even though he was duly freed from physical suffering, as long as he retains his memories, there will always be a lingering distress in his psyche perturbing his emotions.
'How is this possible? Am i finally being blessed by The God?' is what he should've thought of. But he somberly said to himself.
"Is this how it feels to be alive? It's heavenly."
He clenched his fists as tears built up in eyes . He tried to restrain them but they broke through the wall and flooded his face.
He fell to his knees—at one corner near the entrance. Askia clutched his ribs tightly, uprooted a few strands of hairs and bit his already chapped lips hard, resulting in bleeding.
He was agonizing.
He laughed bitterly—seemingly at his destiny, and didn't wipe the 'bloody' tears off his face.
"Is this how normal people feel? If yes, then I'm so freaking envious of them."
He sobbed and continued.
"But why bestow me with this experience , God? Do you want me to have a bite of this heavenly fruit that I could never taste again? You want me to get addicted to this, only for you to take it back as soon as I change my mind. But jokes on you, I will stand firm with my decision."
The train—which boarded hundreds of passengers looked desolated and an eerie silence reigned. The atmosphere inside was as cold as it is in a morgue. In an alienated and isolated corner, Askia bawled but no one looked in his direction let alone console him.
…
Askia helplessly wailed, showing no signs of stopping anytime soon.
The stranger— in a bright yellow and white suit, sitting across the compartment -- looked in Askia's direction and nodded as though he could look through all the obstructions.
His golden yellow eyes—with an orangish hue, turned almost white. His eyeballs looked like two miniature suns as they exuded blinding canary yellow—almost white rays of light from them. He was using a cap which concealed his hairs but the cap glowed with orangish-yellow shade. His beaming smile was constant but looked even more majestic now due to the light of the two 'suns'.
Askia, who was dealing with his mental anguish, experienced the explosion—exuding blinding rays of light again in his mind. This time he tried to focus on the centre of the explosion and witnessed an elliptical blob of light with two spheres of light—each like a morning sun.
Soon he felt at ease. His mental agony was placated.
He got up on his feet and reminded himself.
"Suicide. That's right, suicide is what I'm here for."
As he said that, he looked at the opposite entrance with eyes gleaming with determination.
The stranger—his eyes closed, a few meters away from Askia, nodded as though he could see everything clearly. He said as though explaining to someone.
"His negative emotions are extremely potent. It's commendable that he didn't yield to them till now. Excruciating for him since he doesn't have a shadow to bear his negative emotions."
"No wonder you had to use 'It' twice." A hollow voice replied to him but no one around him had spoken a word. The voice came from beneath or maybe behind him.
The train had achieved its top speed.
Askia had poised to jump off the train. He exhaled deeply and thought 'It will finally be over.'
"Here I go."
He shouted and lunged towards the opposite entrance. He could feel that his body felt as good as new—maybe even better than new. But it was too late now. He had already embarked on a 'journey' to end his misery.
In an instant, he neared the edge of the train and thrusted upwards and leaped off the train. In mid air, he saw that another train from the opposite direction, with utmost speed, rushed towards him.
In a matter of milliseconds, he will be dead.
He closed his eyes and experienced Life review.
The memory where he was placed on the altar—in accordance with a ritual that is performed right after birth, in front of the Idol of God but the eyes of the Idol were closed. God didn't open his eyes to behold his being and put His light on Askia and as a result his shadow didn't appear. Everyone who was present during the ritual grimaced and he was declared as someone worse than a demon,
'God beholds a demon too, and His light touches even demons… yet you, child, you are vilest and cursed than demons.' A comment someone made at the ritual.
The next memory was him being abandoned by his parents when he was an infant—barely two days old.
Survival was very unlikely but he did—maybe he survived because God didn't want his suffering to end so soon.
The ones who knew about him not having a shadow and ones who saw him as a disgusting tramp—they all treated him like trash, as if he belonged to a different species from them.
A tramp hammered him and justified it by saying,
'Freak! Even shadows run from you.'
As Askia's memories flashed in his mind, he realised he doesn't have a good or positive memory.
But he didn't lament that because—it doesn't matter anymore, since he will be dead in less than a second.
The train, in a matter of seconds, neared and Askia crashed into it. He was sent flying like a small fly.
Askia incurred a myriad of injuries, it was as if a wrecking ball had struck a building—utter demolition.
His neck snapped, his bones pulverized. His limbs were mutilated—both legs and his right hand detached from his torso. The pain was so overwhelming that it numbed his senses. Askia was hurled meters away due to the collision with the train.
"Ahhhhhhh."
Askia let out a piercing shriek with blood spewing out.
With a thud he fell on the ground. His body was bathed in blood. His mutilated limbs fell in different directions. He was a bloody mess.
He was teetering at the edge of eternal sleep. With his eyes barely opened, he faced the cerulean sky and saw that the sun that hung up there was the brightest he has ever seen. It shone as if it was grinning upon Askia's grief.
Askia who was scarcely conscious, returned the grin and cussed impulsively.
"Fuck you."
…..
In the compartment Askia boarded, a pool of pitch black liquid formed on the surface. The strange liquid molded itself in an uncanny and distorted shape and threw itself out the train with a slithering sound.
…..
The stranger in a bright yellow and white suit, who had closed his eyes, nodded in a palpable manner. He rose to his feet and sighed.
"It's about time, I guess."
With that, he contracted his eyelids and removed his cap. Counterintuitively, his raven hair with a hue of dark blue were revealed. He opened his eyes and the earlier sun like two eyeballs were now, jet-black as if the two suns were eclipsed. He shifted his gaze towards the cerulean sky—though the metal roof lied between them. As he pointed his eyes up, he muttered few words in a foreign and unknown language.
The bright and warm aura that surrounded him was overtaken by cold and black cloak.
…..
As soon as Askia uttered those words of disrespect towards the bright sun, he witnessed that the sky turned grey and slowly dark was encompassing it. The brightest sun he had ever seen was turning pitch black as if the sun had eclipsed.
He frowned but then he thought that it wasn't the sun who's turning black, it must be his vision.
I must be hallucinating.
The world soon got blanketed in darkness.
Total solar eclipse!
Askia's eyes finally closed and as he was about fall into eternal sleep his body switched and he fell into paralysis. He tried to move his only intact limb but to no avail.
He had lost control of his body.
'It might be due to all the blood loss or something, nothing abnormal.' was his final thought before he plunged into unconsciousness.