Draziel's POV
She staggered at the news of being stuck here. I shouldn't care—it was just her shock playing out. Yet, something pounded hard against the thin walls of my chest from inside as she teetered on her unsteady feet before me, each unbalanced movement of her legs cutting at the strings holding my heart in place.
As if propelled by magic, I was lunging forward to grab her even before I knew I was.
Midway through, the promise I had made to myself struck my mind—a whip of warning to get my senses back in order. And I dropped back.
I had promised myself to stay away from her. Not to touch her and risk activating that strong pull that bites deep into my blood, wanting me to hold her in my arms—wanting me to do even more things that I'll regret. I intend to honor that promise.
Still, I couldn't stop myself from heaving a heavy sigh of relief when she dropped sideways to grab onto the baluster for support.
My relief was halfway through when her hand suddenly slipped from the baluster. A cold shudder split my whole body as she fell fast to the floor.
"Human… Fuck… Lyra," I screamed. To hell with the promise, I grunted in my head as I teleported fast to her back. I snatched her in the air before she could reach the ground.
She pressed her palm against her forehead to keep back the dizziness while she struggled gently to her feet in my arms. "I am sorry," she apologized, whispering softly. She pushed my arm, trying to break off my hold and stand independently.
I stared down at her. Her brows wrinkled in pain—her eyelids dropped so low, it was hard to see that alluring warm amber pair, while she shook her head gently as if to shake off the dizziness from her eyes. And somehow, I just couldn't bring myself to let her go.
Against my promise, against that nagging warning flashing in my mind, I pulled her deep into my arms, pressing her petite body tight to my chest, the warmth of her calming me.
Then I heard those soft, muffled noises again, those tiny snorting sounds that picked at the strings of my soul, sending a strange kind of pain spreading through my veins. I almost hated myself for not being able to help her, not being able to do anything to return her to where she belonged.
Hot moisture burned holes into my robe as I held tighter to her, letting her cry all she wanted on my chest.
She eventually pulled away from me. She stared up at me, her eyes as dank as the weather after a heavy rainfall. The rainfall that stained her cheeks, drawing long lines down her eyes.
"I am sorry, I can't save the future you anymore, Draziel. You are going to die in the year—"
I pressed my thumb on her warm lips, stopping the rest of her speech in her mouth. "I have told you, no matter what happens in the future, I am never going to die. Nothing and nobody can kill me, not even Zarek. And you should stop talking about what will happen in the future. It causes changes in the timeline." I said, letting go of her lips gently.
"But Zarek is just as powerful as you, and he was determined to kill you. He killed me across lifetimes just to make you miserable. Varin also betrayed you; he was planning…" I pressed my fingers on her lips again, two this time, shushing her up again.
"Why do you think my future self never traveled to the past to kill Varin or Zarek or do something to change the events of the past, even when he could time-travel?" I asked, raising a brow at her in question.
She leaned back from me, her brows wrinkled now in concentration. "That's because—"
"That's because he knows disrupting the timeline causes further damage to the timeline and only makes things worse. If he killed Zarek or Varin, he might never have met you… The past, future, and present are a connected whole, and a significant change in the past is capable of completely altering the future." I explained. I grabbed her arms and pushed her gently from me. I had a feeling if she stayed longer in my arms, I might not be able to fight that pull again. And I would hate to lose that little control I still had over myself.
For a split second, I thought I saw something like—pain—flash in her eyes. But it was fast consumed by her brows, as they narrowed further while she slowly grasped the concept.
"So if I told you what Varin and Zarek would do, it could cause a massive change in the timeline." She inquired, the curiosity echoing in her voice.
"Yeah," I nodded in confirmation. "It would cause a change in my choices and will in turn affect the timeline. So let the events flow as they are supposed to. Unless the changes that happen after won't be what we love, it would be worse."
She drew back from me a bit, cleaning the traces of tears from her cheeks with the back of her hand. She bowed her head a bit lower, her brows still arched ponderously on her forehead. She leaned to rest on the balustrade behind her. A hint her mind was still struggling to grasp the concept of time-traveling. "So you mean I have to treat Zarek and Varin like I know nothing of their future? Like, I don't know that they will hurt me or you."
"Hhmmm," I nodded. "And like I said, the past, the future, and even the present are a connected whole. Your appearance in the past is an aberration. It is not meant to happen. If you keep telling and treating Zarek like he is evil, that might actually be what gets him to become evil faster than he would have. Treat everyone accordingly, even down to the maids and guards."
"That is going to be so hard," she said, raising her head fully to me again. "Whenever I see Zarek and Varin, what I see are the two people that cruelly hurt me and you."
"Just learn to look past that," I grinned softly, cocking a brow, demanding an answer. "Can you try…"
She caught my grin, and the serious expression on her face dissolved into a gentle smile. "I'll try, but I can't really promise," she said. "So is it possible for you to learn and master the time-traveling techniques within a year and a half? I don't have much time; I usually die before—" Suddenly, she paused. Realizing not to let the wrong information slip. Her eyes jumped and narrowed exclusively on me. She shook her head, and her lips loosened again, and she repeated her questions. "Can you learn and master the time-traveling techniques within a year and a half?"
I wouldn't tell her she doesn't even have that much time to live and that I hadn't even found the scroll from which I have to learn the techniques. I wasn't sure how she could take that truth. Yet, I wouldn't lie. Lies were one thing I never touched. So there was only one way out.
"An expert prescribed that you should take a cold bath and keep taking it, because you have something he calls fever…"
"Fever…" she screamed, her eyes bulging from their sockets. She threw her palm to her forehead and screamed even louder. "I am really running a fever."
Demons don't fall sick, so I wouldn't know what a fever is. But from her screams, it sounded like a very disastrous thing.
I drew closer to her by impulse. I leaned my hand to touch her face but withdrew at the last minute, cautioning myself.
"Is fever really, really bad to have for a human?" I asked. There was a strain to my voice that even I was surprised to hear. I sounded so terrified.
Her eyes narrowed fast at me, then immediately, they calmed, and a knowing expression graced her face as if she suddenly realized something. "It isn't so bad sometimes, but sometimes, it is. I have died from it once or twice before."
"Then you need to get to the bathroom quick. I'll have Zarek have the maids prepare a cold bath for you."
"I don't want the maids. Treating them accordingly doesn't mean I trust them. The only person I trust in here is you."
"Then should I come along?" I blurted out before I could get to caution myself.
I realized what I had done when her eyes narrowed further on me. I grunted, cursing myself under my breath. How could I have foolishly proposed that? I should be staying away from her and not watching her take her bath.
"Perhaps, I'll have my most trusted guards—"
"No!" She refused. "You have already volunteered. I want you. I can only feel safe around you and nobody else."
A nagging bell rang somewhere in my mind, warning me to back out of this while I still can. But surprisingly, I found myself whispering, "Okay," agreeing to the very thing I wanted to avoid.