The morning sun poured weakly through the cracked windows of the Black Bulls' hideout, casting long streaks of gold across the wooden floorboards. The scent of fresh eggs, meat, and something sweetly unidentifiable wafted from the kitchen, drawing the entire squad like moths to a flame.
The common room was loud—too loud—with every chair filled, some squad members sitting on crates, cushions. It was a chaotic mess of mismatched personalities... but it was their mess.
Asta shoveled a mountain of food into his mouth like a starving beast. "Sho wha' do Maghic Knighths actually do?" he asked, spitting crumbs across the table.
Magna froze mid-bite, veins popping in his forehead. "Are you seriously asking that, you little punk?! You joined the squad yesterday!"
Saru leapt onto the table in a dramatic pose, flexing like he was about to wrestle a dragon. "We get to punch bad guys!"
"Don't jump on the table, you hairy menace!" Charmy screamed from the kitchen as a frying pan nearly flew at Saru's head.
"We protect the country! Guard important stuff! Stop bandits, jerks—basically, it's the manliest job in the world!" Magna declared, lifting Asta off his seat by the collar like a disobedient kitten. "And you signed up without even knowing what we do?!"
Luck tilted his head, confused. "Then why did you join if you didn't know, Asta?"
Asta scratched his head sheepishly. "I mean… I just want to help people! Maybe protect the peace and stuff…"
"Ohhh~ I might meet a wonderful gentleman while on bodyguard duty," Vanessa crooned, her face flushed and a half-empty bottle of wine clutched in one hand as she slumped against the table.
Saru raised a finger like a wise old sage. "But Vanessa, no man likes a lady who can outdrink him."
WHAM.
Vanessa's fist collided with Saru's face before the words had even finished leaving his mouth. He spun comically in the air and landed with a thud, groaning as a small tear welled at the corner of one eye.
"Owwww! Why did you hit me?! It's the truth!" he whined, lips quivering in an exaggerated pout.
"Don't piss me off first thing in the morning, brat," Vanessa grumbled, cracking her knuckles.
Saru immediately scrambled to his feet and dove behind Noelle, clutching the back of her robe like a lifeline while sticking his tongue out at Vanessa.
"You coward," Noelle muttered.
Luck grinned like a maniac. "It's fun! You get to fight all kinds of bad guys. And if they're criminals, you can beat them up real good, and nobody gets mad at you!"
"That's not… how laws work," Noelle said quietly, face twitching.
"It's a noble occupation," Gauche added suddenly, eyes glittering as he pulled out a lovingly polished picture of Marie. "My little sister respects Magic Knights more than anything. And with the money I earn… I can buy her anything she desires." His nose started bleeding profusely as he stared dreamily at the photo.
"FOOD!!" Charmy bellowed as she slammed her grimoire open. A giant sheep chef appeared in a poof of fluff and immediately began conjuring a feast larger than the table itself. "Magic Knights get to eat so much food! It's the best!"
From the corner, Grey transformed into a perfect (though nervous) clone of Asta, waving awkwardly. "Uh… long story short… it's a good job… I guess… Looking forward to going on a mission with everyone…"
Asta laughed. "Thanks, Grey—I mean, me!"
Noelle, seated stiffly among the chaos, glanced from person to person—Saru licking his wounds behind her, Vanessa chugging from her bottle, Charmy chasing her sheep around the table, Gauche bleeding on his picture, Luck laughing maniacally, Magna arguing with a chair that bit him somehow.
She blinked slowly, a single drop of cold sweat sliding down her cheek.
"They're all complete weirdos."
The morning fog had barely lifted when three fresh recruits stood lined up outside the Black Bulls' base. Asta cracked his knuckles, Noelle crossed her arms with an annoyed frown, and Saru bounced on his heels with wild anticipation.
Magna stood in front of them like a drill sergeant—arms folded, sunglasses gleaming like he was about to announce something world-changing.
"All right, you brats," Magna declared with a wide grin. "I'm gonna give you your first mission! You're headin' to the village of Saussy… to hunt boars!"
"YAAAAA!!" Saru exploded into a jump, landing in a crouch with his hands flaring like claws. "I love hunting boars! I LOVE IT! Boars are so full of rage and meat! RAWR!"
Noelle sighed in frustration. "Tch. What a stupid mission."
Asta raised a fist in confidence. "Pfft, I could take out a dumb boar with my bare hands!"
Magna's veins popped. "DON'T YOU GO UNDERMININ' BOARS, YOU MUSCLE-BRAINED IDIOTS!!" he screamed, spittle flying from his mouth. "Those things are nasty when they're wild! One of 'em busted my arm last year!"
Suddenly, a heavy thud echoed behind them, and a wave of pressure washed over the recruits as Yami approached, cigarette in mouth and a smug smirk curling his lips.
"The two of us lost a bet the other day," Yami said bluntly. "Promised some old geezer we'd do him a favor—whatever he asked."
Asta blinked. "Huh? What does that have to do with us?"
Yami ignored the question, continuing with a smirk. "Turns out, that geezer wanted to get rich and raise his village outta poverty. Crazy old bastard said he wanted to help his people live better lives. Humans are strong when they've got something to protect… or someone."
Asta scratched his head. "But… that's not our problem, right?"
"He's right," Noelle said, her voice clipped. "This is clearly beneath us."
"GO. OR. DIE." Yami's voice dropped, eyes narrowing with dangerous intent.
Noelle and Asta stiffened like statues.
"W-We'll go!!" they shouted in unison, saluting reflexively.
Saru wandered up to Yami with his hands on his hips, chest puffed out. "Hey hey hey, Yami! If I'm doing your boring grunt work, I want snacks as payment!"
The next second, Saru was dangling upside down, held effortlessly by the top of his head.
"What was that, you little monkey bastard?" Yami growled, puffing his cigarette. "You wanna say that again?"
But Saru thrashed in his grip, limbs flailing like a trapped animal. "Stupid Yami! Stupid Yami! Unhand me or I'll beat you up and take all your snacks!!"
Asta and Noelle stared at the scene, frozen, sweat dripping down their brows.
"…Is that normal?" Asta whispered.
"More than you think," Magna muttered, unfazed. "Honestly, you get used to it."
Saru eventually broke free, tumbling backward with a dramatic spin and landing on all fours. "Raaaah! You'll regret that, you muscle stump!"
Yami exhaled smoke slowly, clearly unbothered. "Hurry up and get ready. You're leaving in ten minutes."
As he walked back toward the hideout, Saru was already skipping around Noelle and Asta, humming to himself like nothing happened.
"Still! It's our first mission!" Asta suddenly shouted, his whole body sparking with energy. "I'm getting PSYCHED!"
He punched the air with both fists, practically vibrating with excitement.
Noelle, arms crossed and chin slightly raised, let out a small huff. "Hmph. Me? Go to a grimy village… for some grimy old man… to take care of a grimy boar?"
Magna's eyebrow twitched. "Say what? You got a problem, kid?"
"No, no… I'm not complaining," Noelle muttered, glancing off to the side. Her fingers tugged lightly at her sleeve. "It's just… since I can't really control my magic… I was wondering if it's really alright for me to go on this kind of mission."
Magna's face softened. He struck a cool pose, one hand on his hip and the other giving a casual thumbs-up, his toothy grin sparkling like the morning sun.
"Heh. Don't sweat it. I gotcha covered."
"Mister Magna, you are the man!" Asta shouted, eyes blazing with admiration.
"Damn straight I am!" Magna puffed out his chest. "Now listen up—Finral's lazy teleporting butt can't get us there today, so we're flying by broom."
Asta blinked. "Wait. I can't fly on a broom."
"Neither can I," Noelle added flatly.
Saru raised his hand like a child in class. "I can, but I don't like brooms. They're hard, itchy, and don't come with snacks."
Magna slapped his forehead. "Tch—there's no helping you clowns…"
He turned, dramatically flinging open a nearby door to reveal something nestled inside. Sunlight hit polished metal and slick wood. There it was—his broom.
She wasn't like a normal Magic Knight's broom.
Magnificent flame decals danced along the sides, while the sleek, jet-black body was modified with footrests, handlebar grips, and even a crystal-core ignition system. The bristles fanned out behind it like the tail of a racing beast. A flame-like insignia of the Black Bulls was etched across the front.
"This, ladies and gentlemen," Magna declared with a proud grin, "is Cyclone! My sweet ride!"
"Th-Th-That's… SO COOL!!!" Asta's eyes nearly bulged out of his skull as he rushed over, inspecting every detail. "It looks like a fire-powered war chariot from the heavens!!"
"…Ewww. It's ugly," Saru muttered with a scrunched nose and a shiver of fake disgust. "Looks like something a mid-life crisis would fly."
"I-It's… tacky," Noelle said with a sniff, though her lips twitched slightly.
Magna's face turned red. "HOW DARE YOU?! If you three don't show Cyclone some respect, you don't get to ride her!"
"Whoa, whoa! It's alright, it's alright!" Saru raised both hands defensively—then flashed a wicked grin and tilted his head toward the sky. "I got my own ride anyway."
He took a step forward, cupping his hands around his mouth, and shouted with all the fire in his lungs:
"COME ON—FLYING NIMBUUUS!!"
Everyone's heads shot upward. Noelle blinked. Asta leaned forward, hands shading his eyes. Magna, already knowing what was coming, just clicked his tongue.
The clouds above stirred.
They twisted and broke apart as a golden puff of cloud tore through the sky like a summoned beast, descending with speed and grace until it floated right before Saru—perfectly circular, humming softly like it was alive.
"WOOOOAHHH!!!" Asta practically exploded. "Is that your magic!?! That's the most awesome cloud I've ever seen!!"
Even Noelle, who tried to maintain her cool, had sparkles in her eyes. "…It's beautiful."
Saru threw one leg over and straddled the Nimbus like a seasoned rider, casually reclining on it like it was a couch. He grinned down at them and stretched with a yawn.
"I ride in style," he said with a smirk, tossing Magna a sideways glance. "Sorry Cyclone, but Nimbus is the future."
Magna gritted his teeth, trembling. "Y-you…! YOU DAMN MONKEY!! You just had to show off, huh!?"
Asta waved excitedly. "Can I ride on the cloud next time!?"
"Nope," Saru said, reclining with his arms behind his head. "Only the pure of heart may ride the Nimbus."
"…I feel like you just made that up," Noelle muttered.