36 - Jabami Yumeko's Life Plan
Early in the morning, Hikigaya Hachiman and Jabami Yumeko once again coincidentally met at the station. Yumeko wore a bright, radiant smile that made her youthful figure seem even more vibrant. She waved toward Hachiman with cheerful energy.
That eye-catching stray cat tag was stuck tightly between her breasts, unable to move.
For a normal person, wearing such a humiliating tag wouldn't just make them unhappy—managing not to fall into depression would already be a miracle. But Yumeko… this girl didn't show even a shred of awareness that she was supposed to be ashamed as a stray cat...
'The rules of Momobami's Eden can't restrain this gambling madwoman at all.'
Hikigaya Hachiman shook his head with a smile and confidently walked up to her, walking alongside Yumeko as usual. As for the scornful gazes from the Hyakkaou Academy students lining both sides of the path, Hachiman accepted them with ease.
'This time, at least they're not ignoring me while praising Yumeko's looks… Should I count that as an unexpected win?'
Hikigaya's thoughts began to wander.
At Hyakkaou Academy, there was an unspoken rule: stray cats and dumb dogs were subjected to bullying. And anyone who associated with them would be considered the same and treated with disdain. While they might not suffer physical insults, the emotional contempt was guaranteed.
Of course, Hikigaya Hachiman didn't care about that.
The deeper they walked into the school, the more flushed Yumeko's face became.
"Hikigaya-kun, ever since becoming a stray cat, even the school scenery I'd gotten used to now looks twisted… This feeling is just too addictive."
"Even you, Hikigaya-kun—clearly a righteous gentleman—under the influence of my own twisted perception, you look like someone who could tear off your mask of decency and rip off my clothes at any moment."
Hikigaya decided to treat her as if she was just spouting nonsense and didn't respond.
By the time they reached the classroom door, Yumeko was already covered in a sheen of fragrant sweat, nearly drooling with excitement.
She pushed open the door.
Hikigaya Hachiman immediately saw Yumeko's desk defaced with all kinds of insulting words. A paper doll in her likeness had been slashed up with a knife. Her life plan document was stabbed into the desk with a blade.
"Hikigaya-kun, come quick and look at my life plan!" Yumeko jogged over to her seat, pulled the paper out from the desk with glee.
She skimmed it quickly, then held it out toward Hachiman with both hands gripping its corners, cheeks flushed red, and presented the humiliating plan with proud openness: "My entire life is under management, and even my marriage partner has been arranged. That means I'm to live as livestock—my whole life stolen away."
[Age 22: Become the wife of Congressman Orita]
[Age 23: Give birth to Orita's first child (preferably a boy, reward: 1 million yen)]
[Age 24: Give birth to Orita's second child (preferably a girl, reward: 1 million yen)]
[Orita is elected as Minister of Culture]
[...]
[Orita's first child enrolls in Hyakkaou Academy]
[Orita's second child enrolls in Advanced Nurturing Middle School]
[Age 30…]
[Age 40…]
"Orita, huh…" Hikigaya quickly searched his memory for related info, then said with a threatening tone, "That guy's a bona fide perverted lolicon. Just recently, he was exposed in a sex scandal. I didn't think President Momobami would reach her hand toward someone like him."
"Becoming a politician's wife might not be a bad life," Yumeko said with a grin. "But unfortunately, that guy's not my type. So this life plan doesn't count."
She hugged the plan to her chest, then cheerfully walked to the classroom's trash bin and tossed it in.
Her cheeks were red and flushed. Her crimson eyes, usually filled with madness, looked slightly evasive as she turned to Hachiman.
"If only Hikigaya-kun became the congressman instead."
"…Huh?"
Hikigaya Hachiman thought he had misheard. But when he looked back at Jabami, she had already returned to her usual self.
At that moment, a few girls dressed like gyaru (trendy, flashy schoolgirls) began to surround Jabami Yumeko. Their malicious gazes were fixed on the stray cat tag hanging from Yumeko's chest.
Hikigaya Hachiman recognized them. Although he had only casually observed them before, he remembered their faces.
He recalled the rock-paper-scissors game hosted by Saotome during the entrance ceremony. Among Class 1-A, about seven students weren't under Saotome's control—and the girls in front of him now were part of that group.
'Bullying already? That's a bit too eager, isn't it?'
Hikigaya had no intention of stepping in. He believed Jabami could handle this kind of childish bullying on her own.
But unexpectedly, they were coming for him.
The leader of the group—a girl with pink hair styled in twin buns like dumplings—walked straight up to him.
She placed her hand lightly on Hikigaya Hachiman's desk.
"You need something?" Hachiman was packing up his bag, not even bothering to look up.
"Hikigaya-san, I'm Aiura Kokoro. I'd like to make a deal with you," she said.
"A deal?" Hachiman's interest was piqued by the familiar yet distant word. He looked up and lazily met her gaze. "What kind of deal are you offering?"
"That girl Saotome—she's no longer a stray cat... You helped her, didn't you? You even helped her win a small casino. She went back to her own casino early this morning and hasn't been in class since." Aiura crossed her arms, speaking coldly. "I've got a grudge against that girl."
"So what?" Hachiman replied. "You're thinking of taking it out on me?"
'What is this, a cliché villain setup?'
"No, no, not at all. Why would I try to get revenge on someone as skilled in gambling as you, Hikigaya-san?" Aiura waved her hands dismissively. "But since you helped Saotome, you could help me too, right? I can tell—you're driven by profit. What did she offer you? Money? Or her body? That girl's actually kinda pretty."
"What she gave me... I can't tell you that. But, yeah, you're pretty sharp." Hachiman nodded. "So then, what benefit can you offer me?"
Aiura slowly raised one finger. "One million yen. Help me isolate and bully Saotome. Or rather, maybe 'help' is too much—just don't assist her in the upcoming exam gambling battles."
"I want that girl completely isolated by Class 1-A. I want her on her knees in front of me, becoming my personal pet!" Aiura's expression twisted, growing grotesque and exaggerated.
"…Huh?"
Hikigaya Hachiman fell silent. That was unexpectedly childish. He thought for a moment—he was about to accept. After all, a million yen is still money, and easy cash is hard to turn down.
Besides, he didn't believe that someone like Saotome would actually lose to someone as immature as Aiura Kokoro.
Aiura saw Hachiman's silence and assumed he had slept with Saotome and that was why he couldn't bring himself to accept the offer.
So she leaned down and whispered in Hikigaya's ear, "If she can sleep with you, I can too~ And I can make sure no one in Class 1-A bullies Jabami-san."
She pointed at the mess on Jabami Yumeko's desk. "Look, as long as Jabami-san stays a stray cat, she'll get bullied badly, right? You wouldn't want such a beautiful and elegant girl like Jabami-san to be bullied, right, Hi-ki-ga-ya-kun~?"
"Oh, so you were the one behind what happened to Jabami's desk~"
Hikigaya nodded. "Your offer sounds great—but I refuse."