I Died, Again.
As someone who has been stuck in this cycle for a long time, I can tell you that after a while, you get used to it.
And for someone like me, who has lived as an immortal for a while, the years that pass are just a grain of sand.
Well, soon, this boring exile life will come to an end, and I'll be able to rule my kingdom once more.
My beloved home, my castle! Father will be back soon!
Even walking through that famous street, praised by all the writers, my home fills my mind.
People pass me by, but I see no life in their eyes. They're just pretending to live.
If they saw my kingdom, they'd have to chop down all the trees in Russia to describe its perfection.
Russia... The place where I now live. I have a small clinic as an obstetrician. And this is a perfect place where I thought I'd live my life quietly, just like before. At least, that's what I thought ten years ago.
"Daddy!"
I shiver from the warmth of your voice in the icy streets. Olga.
My beautiful, bright-eyed daughter. She's only 10, but sometimes her eyes hold secrets older than a hundred years.
Before meeting her, I planned to live a simple life, and after I died, I'd return to my home in Arafa.
Until I saw the secrets hidden in her green eyes.
I hold her hand. She's chasing butterflies again. It's not spring, there shouldn't be butterflies here. But still, one seems to be fluttering around her. Colorful, sparkling. It's not a butterfly. It's a soul.
"Daddy, look at the butterfly!"
I look.
But not at the butterfly. I look at the soul of the butterfly. There's something there.
Something invisible but strangely familiar. It's like... someone from our past. A reflection of a soul I once knew, before my exile.
-
The first time I realized I was in a mortal body, I had to face a horrifying truth.
When I looked into the eyes of mortals, I saw their death.
I had never had a mother before. And I never would. Because every time I looked into her eyes, I saw her suffering.
I distanced myself from them, observing from the outside.
That's when I started to hate humans. When I was an immortal, I was curious about mortals. But God wouldn't let me see them.
Now, I despise them, yet I create more of them.
I've delivered 130 babies so far. 30 of them grew up healthy, 60 I killed at birth, to do them a favor. The world was too dirty for their pure souls. For the remaining 40, I waited for them to grow up.
When they did, I stole their butterflies. The young butterflies keep me alive.
Then, I selected the people I hated the most. I killed them, stole their butterflies, and gave life to those I wanted to live.
I deliver the justice that God has failed to provide.
-
At home, later that evening.
Olga is sleeping, and I'm sitting in the living room, dimming the lamp as I look at an old book.
It has a golden seal embossed on its cover. From a family lineage. Not mine. My brother's.
Lucifer, the brother who swore he wouldn't leave me after being cast out.
Lorean, my brother who abandoned me, falling in love with death.
I hate him. Even in death.
I look at the mirror.
It's not my reflection.
It's my twin.
Lucifer.
He's smiling.
"Did you miss me, Lucian?"
"Not yet," I reply. There's still time.
The reflection disappears. Only I remain. But inside me, something stirs. A feeling. Something I haven't felt in a long time. Fear.
-
That night.
Olga is sleeping. But her face twitches. She's seeing something in her dream.
I go to her. She's sweating. Shivering. Murmuring.
"I'll give it back… I'll give it back… it wasn't mine… it wasn't mine…"
I wake her up. "Sweetheart, it's okay. Daddy's here."
I stroke her red hair, kiss her forehead, and she snuggles closer. "No one can take you from me, don't worry."
Slowly, she drifts back into her dream.
My little Olga.
We have what humans have sought for centuries.
Immortality.
But still, we were abandoned in this cold place.
Don't worry, daddy will protect you.
I am Ivan Fyodor Yudin. A father who will do anything to protect his daughter, a brave doctor who sacrifices everything for his patients.
I am Lucian. An immortal who messed things up while trying to protect his family.
Immortality isn't a gift… it's a curse.
But this time, I will protect my daughter… no matter the cost.