It started with a sniffle.
A soft, almost pitiful little sniff from the tiniest, fluffiest member of the group. Then another. Then—
BOOM.
The wall behind them trembled. A scorch mark sizzled where a flower vase used to be.
"GET DOWN!" Kale yelled, diving behind an overturned table.
Lyra screamed and slid across the floor, holding up a pillow like a shield. "Why is this happening?!"
Ash, already crouched behind his barrier of grimoires, gritted his teeth. "He's got allergies. Probably to whatever weird mountain pollen is in this region. Don't let him look at flowers!"
"DON'T LET HIM BREATHE!" Vix shrieked, barely dodging another sneeze that blew a hole clean through the cabin's door.
Poffin, curled up and miserably sniffly in a blanket nest, lifted his head weakly. "...'T's not my fault the world's trying to assassinate me with nature…"
Seren was using her shield as a literal roof over her and her beer. "I told you to leave him in the tent!"
"And let him nuke it?!"
Another sneeze—KRA-KOOM—this time blasting a chunk of the ceiling clean off. Outside, a goose honked once in alarm and took off into the sky.
Ash dragged a potion bottle from his bag and flung it at Poffin. "Drink that! It's enchanted honey and antihistamines!"
Poffin sniffled, caught it mid-air with his mouth, swallowed, then blinked. "...Tastes like burnt socks and regret."
"Good, means it's working."
A tense silence fell as everyone braced. Poffin's nose twitched once… twice… then nothing.
They exhaled.
Then he sneezed again—BOOM.
"…We're camping outside tonight, aren't we?" Kale asked, brushing soot from his face.
"Absolutely," said everyone in unison.
After the fifth sneeze turned Lyra's staff into kindling and Seren's ale into vapor, it was unanimously decided: Poffin needed professional help.
"He's gonna blow us up in our sleep," Vix muttered, crawling out from behind a smoldering cabinet.
Ash sighed, glancing at the frazzled ball of fluff shivering under a blanket, steam puffing gently from his nostrils like a broken tea kettle. "Yeah. We're taking him to a vet."
"But you're a Beast Tamer," Kale said, already trying to wring out his scorched cape. "Can't you just… tame his lungs?"
Ash gave him a long, deadpan look. "I tame monsters. Not walking hair-trigger explosives with hay fever."
Poffin sneezed again—fwoomp!—lighting a tapestry on fire.
"Bless you," Lyra said weakly, tossing a bucket of water at the flames. "And by the Goddess, please stop."
Ash hoisted Poffin gently, holding him like an unstable bomb. "There's a clinic just outside the town gates. Let's hope they don't ask questions."
"They will," Seren said flatly, wiping soot off her brow. "They always do."
"They'll understand when he vaporizes their potted plants," Vix added.
Poffin groaned. "I don't need a vet. I need a muzzle, a sedative, and maybe a nap…"
"Yeah?" Ash muttered. "Well, you're getting all three."
The vet wasn't far.
Keyword: wasn't.
In theory, it was a short stroll down a hill, past a sleepy stream, and into a sun-dappled grove. Easy. Gentle. Serene.
In practice?
"INCOMING!" Kale yelled, diving behind a tree as a sneeze-lobbed fireball arced over his head and set a bird's nest ablaze.
"I said I was fine!" Poffin yelled from Ash's arms, fur fluffed and twitching like he was prepping to detonate again.
"You sneezed and cracked a boulder in half!" Vix shouted, now covered in soot, leaves, and what might've been an angry squirrel's dinner.
Ash was stone-faced, walking with calm determination, Poffin tucked under one arm like an unstable thermonuclear purse. "This. Is. Fine."
"Do you even know where you're going?" Lyra huffed, shielding her head as another explosive "Achoo!" singed the edge of her sleeves.
"Yes," Ash said. "Toward the screaming woodland creatures and suspicious crater marks. That has to be the right direction."
Seren, ever the optimist, cracked her knuckles. "At this rate, the vet's gonna need a vet."
Eventually, with the forest gently smoking and every insect in a five-mile radius relocated, they reached the small thatched building with a painted pawprint over the door.
Ash paused, turned to the others. "No one mention the word 'bomb.' Or 'explosion.' Or 'volatile sneeze projectile.'"
Vix crossed her arms. "So... we lie?"
"We spin the truth creatively."
Poffin sniffled. The air shimmered ominously.
"And we do it fast."
The door creaked open, and the scent of antiseptic herbs wafted through the air, mixed with something floral. The party stepped in cautiously, smoke-charred and mildly traumatized.
And then she appeared.
The vet.
A woman so radiant she looked like she'd walked out of a painting—and not the medieval, slightly cursed kind. No, this was a full-on portrait of calm, competent beauty, with rolled-up sleeves, delicate gloves, and a smile that said "I've dealt with worse."
Ash blinked. Lyra blinked. Seren blinked. Kale and Vix tried not to gawk.
Poffin?
Poffin's nose twitched.
The room froze.
"Oh no," Lyra whispered.
The vet gently reached out, tilting her head. "Aww, poor little guy. Allergic reaction?"
Poffin inhaled sharply, puffing up like a furry balloon. Everyone dove behind furniture in perfect sync. The vet didn't even flinch.
And then... nothing. Just a soft hiccup and a pitiful sniffle.
The party collectively exhaled in relief.
Then Poffin's nose twitched again. Another sharp inhale.
Everyone tensed.
Silence.
False alarm again.
Vix popped her head out from behind a potted plant. "Is he broken?"
"He's buffering," Ash muttered.
Inhale. Hold. Shudder. Pause.
Still nothing.
The vet simply chuckled and reached over, casually scratching behind Poffin's ear. "You're just wound up, huh?" she cooed. "Let's get you checked."
Everyone stared in awe as Poffin melted in her hands like warm butter. No explosions. No glowing fur. Just... bliss.
Ash narrowed his eyes. "He wasn't sneezing. He was stalling."
Poffin yawned dramatically, now sprawled across the exam table like a royal fainting maiden.
The vet delicately adjusted her monocle. (Yes, she had one. For flair. Obviously.) With surgical precision, she leaned in, one gloved finger gently parting Poffin's fur as he laid on the table like an overdramatic soap opera star.
"Aaand... there it is," she announced with a triumphant smirk.
The party leaned in as she plucked something small and wispy from Poffin's snout.
A feather.
A single, slightly singed, yet undeniably goose-like feather.
Silence.
Then—
"You're telling me he nearly nuked half the town because of a feather?" Seren said flatly, arms crossed.
Ash nodded solemnly. "Feathers. Nature's ticking time bombs."
Lyra smacked her forehead.
Poffin blinked slowly at the offending object now pinched between the vet's tweezers, then glared at it with the fury of a thousand suns. His nose twitched again—out of indignation this time.
"Explains the false alarms," the vet said with a little shrug. "Every time he twitched too hard, it brushed just enough to almost trigger the sneeze reflex. It was wedged in pretty good. Has he been around feathered critters lately?"
Ash turned to him. "Oh right.. the army of strays incident...that...goose."
Poffin didn't respond. Just slowly looked away in what could only be described as the universal body language for: I regret nothing.
Vix turned over to him. " But he didn't act like this yesterday right?"
Kale responded. "Maybe it wedged itself down his nose when he was moving around so intensely the day before?"
"It doesn't matter. Poffin's all healed and that's what matters" Lyra declared.
The vet offered Poffin a tiny tissue.
He declined. With contempt.
The party let their walking explosive floof finally calm down.
But the vet? She just chuckled to herself as she swept the feather into a jar labeled: "Hazardous Material."
Ash stood a little apart from the group, casually leaning on the counter as the others discussed their financial downfall due to owing the village chief for property damage. His gaze shifted to the vet—Velvet—who was calmly jotting something down in her notebook with the poise of someone very used to dealing with nonsense. Chaotic, potentially explosive nonsense.
"You know, not a lot of people can keep their cool with a ticking furball threatening to detonate every five seconds," Ash remarked, tone neutral, hands in his coat pockets.
Velvet didn't look up at first. "Occupational hazard," she replied smoothly. Then, as if she remembered the social protocol of eye contact, she glanced up at him and offered a small, unreadable smile. "I've had worse. Once treated a fire-breathing ferret with separation anxiety."
Ash blinked. "That sounds like a war crime."
She snorted softly. "He cried fire. Literally."
A pause. It hovered—quiet, calm, slightly awkward in the way two people shared a moment without acknowledging it out loud.
The background noise of the party crescendoed into someone accusing someone else of emotionally bonding with a goose, and Ash's eyes flicked in their direction with a sigh.
Velvet smirked and extended a hand over the counter.
"Velvet," she said simply.
"Ash," he returned, taking it with an almost imperceptible beat of hesitation. Her grip was confident—practiced. Professional.
Totally professional.
No one said anything more about it. And no one needed to.
Except Poffin, who suddenly coughed loud enough to break glass, clearly unimpressed with how long that handshake lasted.
Velvet didn't flinch.
Ash didn't comment.
But his ears might've been just a tiny bit pink.
The group filed out of the clinic, a little more relaxed now that the threat of sneeze-induced annihilation had passed. Poffin was perched on Ash's shoulder, wrapped in a comically small scarf the vet had insisted on for "emotional support"—though judging by his smug expression, he considered it a badge of honor.
Lyra was already recounting the tale to Seren with dramatic hand gestures, embellishing parts that absolutely did not happen, while Kale trailed behind with Vix, who was attempting to shield her face from secondhand embarrassment.
Ash walked a bit slower, letting the group drift ahead.
Just a casual glance back.
Totally normal.
The clinic door had already shut behind them, but Ash's gaze lingered for a moment, thoughtful—measured. Then he adjusted his collar, muttered something under his breath like "Velvet, huh…" and turned back toward the group.
"Hey!" Lyra shouted from up ahead. "You spacing out?"
Ash didn't miss a beat. "Just mourning my peace and quiet."
Poffin grunted, flicking his tail across Ash's cheek.
He kept walking. But yeah… he looked back. Just once.