"I am not here to lecture," he said in Indonesian, his voice slow and rhythmic. "I simply want to share... about how we—the Balinese—view life."
He looked at each young face sitting around him, one by one.
"In Bali, we call this life Tri Hita Karana: harmony between humans and God, humans and humans, and humans and nature. If one is disturbed, then life will be unbalanced."
Riri nodded slowly, taking notes. Romo seemed interested.
"But, within that teaching... is there room for moral confusion?" Romo asked. "Like when we know stealing is wrong, but the person who steals is actually saving their family?"
The Pedande smiled, unhurried in his response.
"Good and bad are not absolute things on this earth. The truth you hold today can change after you know the suffering of others. That's why, in Balinese spirituality, what's most important is not just dharma—but rasa."
He touched his chest slowly.
"If dharma is law... then rasa is a compass. Without rasa, the law becomes sharp downwards and blunt upwards."
Marlon looked up slightly, adding:
"So... could it be said that to truly live spiritually... we need to sharpen our rasa, not just obey?"
The Pedande nodded.
"Obedience without rasa can become stubbornness. But rasa without direction can also be misleading. So our task is to balance both."
Sophie then asked Marlon to show a bit of the morning's recording. Marlon connected his camera to the mini projector, and everyone watched a clip about the interactions in the market. In one part, a female vendor was seen refusing a tourist's offer with a fake smile. In another part, a young male trader secretly raised the price for a foreign buyer.
"If we look at this," one of the participants murmured, "we can be angry or understanding. But from a spiritual perspective... how is it, Bli Pedande?"
The Pedande smiled.
"That is what we call panca indra. The eyes can see, but the heart decides whether we will judge or understand. And that... is a lifelong practice."
The morning healing circle became like a lecture, a spiritual retreat, and a discussion forum all at once. At the end of the session, Sophie concluded:
"We will continue to record and observe human interactions. But not to judge them... but to know ourselves—our reactions, our judgments, and the rasa that arises from what we see."
The participants nodded, some smiling thoughtfully. That day, in the midst of a bustling Ubud that was quiet within, their cameras not only captured external life but also began to reveal inner life.
The Pedande smiled softly as he heard Marlon's words. In the healing circle, which was still filled with a calm and contemplative atmosphere, all eyes turned back to Marlon, who leaned back slightly, his eyes looking at the bamboo ceiling. He was carefully arranging his words.
"I once read," Marlon said, "that in Sundanese philosophy, there is something called Tri Tangtu di Buana. Three pillars of life: Resi, Rama, and Ratu. Resi is a spiritual leader, Rama is a parent or educator, and Ratu is a leader or ruler."
He looked towards the Pedande, then swept his gaze back to the circle of healing circle participants.
"If you think about it, all three have a role to guide. Resi guides internally and spiritually, Rama guides in family and education, and Ratu guides society politically or nationally."
"But now..." he continued, his voice softening, "...do we still have these three figures in our lives? And even if they exist, are they still listened to?"
Romo rested his chin on his hand, his eyes sharply fixed on Marlon. Riri also seemed silent, clearly lost in the same contemplation.
Sophie responded softly, "That's very similar to the loss of collective parenting structure, isn't it?"
Marlon nodded, "Yes. The world feels more chaotic, not just because of technology or information that's too fast, but maybe also because we've lost direction. We've lost figures who should guide not with orders, but with rasa and example."
The Pedande interlaced his fingers in his lap. His voice was soft but firm as he spoke.
"What you call Tri Tangtu is very much in line with our view. In our teachings, life is balanced when there is a spiritual leader, a family leader, and a community leader. But what is lost is not just the people... what is lost is the trust in the values they represent."
Someone from the healing circle participants asked softly, "If that's the case... how do we know the direction if all those compasses are lost?"
The Pedande replied after a moment of silence, "By becoming the compass ourselves."
Everyone fell silent. Only the sound of the wind touching the bamboo leaves could be heard.
"If there are no more resi we trust, then we learn to listen to the voice of our own hearts. If there are no more rama to guide us, we learn to be educators for ourselves and others. And if the ratu is no longer present in justice... then we learn to lead with kindness on a small scale, in the place where we stand."
Sophie added softly, "So healing is not just about healing ourselves, but also about learning to become a small version of the world we long for."
Riri sighed softly.
"So, if we feel this world is too gray, maybe it's because we've stopped believing that we can light a light, no matter how small."
The Pedande nodded, "That's right. You cannot change the fog that covers the entire mountain... but you can light a small lamp around you. And that lamp is the beginning of light."
The healing circle felt like being in the embrace of time. Time that was not rushed. Time that gave space to think, to ask, and to be silent.
At the end of the session, Sophie stood and looked at each participant.
"Tomorrow, as we have planned, we will go back into the field. Observing, listening, and taking notes. Not to judge, but to understand. Because only by understanding... can we regain trust in meaning."
Everyone stood up. The healing circle slowly dispersed. But the conversation, its seeds, still lingered in their hearts.
Night had fallen in Ubud. A light rain gently tapped the bamboo roof of their lodging. The humid air carried the scent of wet earth and the lingering aroma of incense from the afternoon offerings. On the back terrace, a round table made of trembesi wood became their silent meeting place that night. Dim yellow light, a cup of warm tea, and a small bowl of local snacks accompanied them.
Marlon leaned back in his rattan chair, gazing at the night sky where stars were mostly obscured by clouds.
"Can I ask something a bit... sensitive?" he said softly.
Riri and Romo turned their heads, Sophie nodded gently, "Of course. Please do."
Marlon took a breath.
"I was thinking... out of all the sins that are said to be most feared in society, why is the issue of sexuality always such a taboo? I mean, isn't it true that we should actually dare to illuminate those dark spaces? Not with high morals... but with realism."
Romo frowned, "What do you mean?"
Marlon turned his head, his eyes serious.
"Like this. Localizations are closed everywhere, in the name of morality. But precisely after that, places like private massage parlors, executive karaoke, or even services disguised as entertainment are becoming more rampant. The difference is, if before it was open and could be supervised, now it's dark and wild. Because people feel... once it's dark, anything goes."
Sophie stirred her tea slowly, not rushing to answer.
Riri nodded in agreement, "In economics, it's similar to the black market. When demand is high but legal supply is prohibited, illegal alternatives that are more dangerous emerge. And ironically, the state can't control it—in terms of health, taxes, or protection of victims."
Romo remained silent, his face somber.
"So," Marlon continued, "logically... wouldn't it make more sense for the state to illuminate that space? Not to support it, but to regulate it. So that no one becomes a victim. And so that people don't feel that 'adultery' only belongs to street people, when in fact it's also done in luxurious spaces with neat packaging."
Sophie looked at Marlon calmly.
"That's a bold thought," she said, "and also full of paradox. On the one hand, legalizing something can make control easier. But on the other hand, social legitimacy can turn into normalization."
She sighed.
"Self-healing often talks about recognizing the shadows within ourselves. Well, this... is a collective shadow. Basic instincts that we hide, we reject, but are never truly resolved."
Romo finally spoke, his voice soft but firm.
"But by bringing light to what is dark, aren't we losing principles? Isn't it sometimes necessary to face darkness with discipline and rejection?"
Marlon looked at him.
"But, Mo... does rejection work if we don't even know its true form? Isn't rejection without understanding just amplifying the illusion?"
Sophie added gently, "Maybe the key isn't whether to legalize or not... but the extent to which we honestly face reality. And how that system is not formed by fear, but by concern. Concern for all parties... including those who are dragged into that system."
Silence fell for a moment. Only the sound of rain seeping into the leaves could be heard.
Riri sighed.
"I think... this all starts from fear. We are afraid of losing control. Afraid to admit that this world is more complex than what we were taught."
Sophie smiled faintly. Her eyes were warm.
"And healing begins when we stop running from that complexity. When we dare to sit quietly in the face of what we don't understand... and still don't rush to judge."
That night, they didn't get definite answers. But that wasn't the goal. The goal was to listen. To ask. And to give space for truths that had not yet fully grown.
Sophie added a little more tea to her cup, then looked at Marlon attentively. The dim light from the bamboo lantern cast soft shadows on their faces, creating a reflective atmosphere that was almost silent. Even the night breeze seemed to hold its breath.
"If we illuminate that dark space," Marlon continued, "maybe… it can be regulated like a system. Women who work there have access to regular health checks. No more being forced or becoming victims of human trafficking. Pimps would lose their power. Even if all consumers had their identities recorded—not to shame them, but for accountability—perhaps shame would actually arise. The dirty, free sex that has been going on could decrease. Because there would be no more room for pretense."
Riri nodded slowly, then chimed in,
"I once read reports from the Netherlands and Germany about such legalization systems. There are red-light districts, routine check-ups, even safety training for workers. The state can actually control the flow of money, reducing hidden crime. But indeed… not all cultures are ready to accept that."
Romo sighed. He was still hesitant but didn't immediately reject it.
"From a religious moral standpoint… this is still difficult, Mar. But I understand your logic. If humans have biological needs, and we close all channels, and then all of that just runs into dark places, the result is chaos. But… is that the only solution?"
Sophie tilted her head, then replied in a deep but gentle voice.
"Actually, it's not about a single solution or not, Mo. But about the courage to see the root of the problem. Many societies are busy patching holes but never cleaning up the leaking water. Sexuality is a very large energy within humans. If it is suppressed without being given direction, it can explode—whether in the form of exploitation, manipulation, or deviation."
She looked at the three of them one by one.
"For me, the biggest problem isn't about legal or not. But about awareness. We must first ask: why does someone hire sex workers? Is it because of loneliness? Because they are unable to form relationships? Because of past trauma? Or just as a release?"
Riri thought for a moment, then added,
"If what is being served is loneliness, then the problem isn't in the body, but in the heart. But unfortunately… this industry often sells escape, not recovery."
Marlon leaned back, his gaze empty towards the sky.
"I know… this is all complex. But that's precisely it. We can't keep pretending. This world isn't black and white. And if we want to solve problems, we have to be willing to touch the mud. Not just stand from afar pointing fingers and saying 'dirty'."
Romo smiled faintly, though his eyes still held doubt.
"I will continue to question from the perspective of religious values… but I am also learning not to force black and white answers onto a world that isn't like that."
Sophie nodded with appreciation.
"And that, Romo… is the first step towards becoming wise."
They all fell silent. There was nothing more to say that night. The Ubud wind blew gently, carrying the scent of cinnamon and wet earth. In the distance, the sound of crickets and the murmur of a small stream blended into calming natural music.
Sophie stood up and smiled.
"Rest. Tomorrow morning we will continue this journey. But tonight… let the contents of our heads and hearts unite in silence."
And the night embraced them peacefully.
That morning, Ubud awoke in harmony. Sunlight danced through the leaves, the last dew rolled off the surface of banana leaves, and birdsong sounded like the opening of a spiritual symphony.
Sophie was already sitting on the veranda with a glass of ginger mushroom tea, wearing a loose white shirt and an earth-toned batik sarong. As Marlon, Riri, and Romo emerged from their rooms one by one, Sophie greeted them with a wide smile.
"Ready to explore today? We're not just going to the market, but to various 'living spaces' of the community. Every place has a story. It's just a matter of how we listen."
First Stop: Ubud Traditional Market
The atmosphere was crowded, the aroma of spices and offering flowers, and conversations in Balinese flowed like a river of life. They walked slowly, occasionally stopping to record interactions.
Riri took a picture of a mother bargaining for chilies, then whispered to Marlon,
"This is also a form of pride, you know. But healthy pride—bargaining as a form of economic defense."
Romo noted in his book,
"And on the other hand, there's also hidden charity. Many traders give more than what's paid out of empathy. Is that virtue or just culture?"
Second Stop: Souvenir Shops and Tourist Attractions
At the souvenir shops, they observed tourists busy choosing handicrafts, some only taking selfies without buying.
Sophie pointed the camera at a family bickering just because the souvenirs didn't meet expectations.
"Here we see greed and envy appearing in a very domestic form," she said.
Riri noted,
"And also social gluttony—a thirst for recognition through photos and shopping, not because they need it, but because they want to be seen as happy."
Third Stop: Exclusive Bars and Cafes
In the late afternoon, they entered a cafe mostly filled with expats and young tourists. The atmosphere was more hedonistic: cocktail glasses, loud laughter, and fleeting conversations.
Marlon watched two people comparing Instagram followers.
"Pride and envy embracing tightly here," he murmured.
Romo added,
"But strangely… sloth is also visible. Many people look like they're having fun but are actually empty. Not truly present in their own lives."
Sophie smiled wryly.
"And that's the hardest thing to see from the outside. Inner fatigue disguised by the colorfulness of external life."
Last Stop: Beach Before Sunset
The beach has always been a place for reflection. Waves come and go like human emotions. They sat on the sand, still with cameras in hand, but this time the atmosphere was quieter.
An old man was bathing a stray puppy at the water's edge, while a young couple sat far apart, either arguing or just silent.
Riri said softly,
"This is a form of kindness that is not shown off."
Marlon nodded,
"And sometimes… true virtue doesn't need an audience."
Romo closed his notebook, then said,
"We've seen everything, from the dark, the gray, to the light. Maybe tomorrow we can have a mini-forum to combine all the data into a concise report. As well as… a joint reflection."
Sophie stood up, stretching her arms towards the sea.
"Let's not look for conclusions. But let today speak in our own heads and hearts tonight."
That night, everyone returned to Sophie's place. They didn't discuss immediately but enjoyed snacks and warm tea. The next morning, they agreed to hold a final discussion: a concise report on the influence of the Seven Deadly Sins and Seven Heavenly Virtues in human life, based on what they had seen for themselves.
The night was late. The Ubud wind blew gently, seeping through the slats of the wooden windows. In the central room where Sophie usually taught small classes, an aromatherapy candle burned quietly. The scent of lavender and sandalwood filled the air.
Marlon, Riri, Romo, and Sophie sat in a circle on a pandan mat. The warm tea was half gone, and their eyes were no longer as bright as they had been during the day, but felt clearer—like still water after a storm.
After a long silence, Romo spoke, softly.
"I'm just wondering… all that we've done—research, observation, discussion—will it be of any use? I mean, will the world change because of it? Or is this just a kind of personal therapy that we're packaging as 'academic research'?"
Marlon looked at the ceiling, then replied without looking at anyone.
"I've been thinking about that too, Mo. We record a lot of things, take notes, observe… but what changes? The world keeps moving with the same logic: money, power, lust. Sometimes I feel like we're just intellectual tourists."
Riri slowly raised her teacup.
"But doesn't every great change always start from one small point? Even if this doesn't change the outside world, it could be changing the world inside someone's head. And that's enough."
Sophie nodded, then replied in a low but firm voice.
"Research isn't about saving the world, but about saving awareness. One honest understanding can make someone live a little better, or think twice before acting badly."
Marlon nodded slowly, then continued,
"But… what if the results of our research actually make people anxious? Or even make them question their own lives and not find answers? Is that still called 'having a positive impact'?"
Sophie smiled.
"A painful question can also be a gift. The world offers too many quick answers. Sometimes our job is precisely to provide space for unfinished questions. That's also a form of healing."
Romo stared at the flickering candlelight.
"So… it's not about fixing the world, but about accompanying others in realizing its complexity, right?"
Sophie nodded, "Yes, and giving them the courage to keep living even when there are no definite black and whites."
They all fell silent for a moment. The night grew quieter. Outside, the sound of cicadas and the night wind echoed each other.
Riri rested her head against the wall, then murmured, "Maybe it's not about the result… but about the intention. And the courage to keep finding out, in a world that prefers quick and certain things."
Marlon smiled faintly, "And even if the world doesn't change, at least… we change. We're not the same as when we first started."
Sophie concluded the night's discussion gently,
"And that's enough. For tonight, that's enough."