"Alright, thanks in advance."
"No need to thank me! Paimon is a good person, after all!"
Zephyr bonked her on the head. "Oh, you're the good person, huh? So why do I have to do all the work? Amazing how that happens."
Paimon clutched her head, pouting in protest.
Ignoring her, Zephyr walked over and pulled a drumstick out of his pocket.
"...What's this?"
"A Sweet Madame drumstick."
"I know it's a drumstick. I mean, aren't you supposed to be healing me? Why are you handing me food?"
"Eat it. It'll heal your wounds."
"...Huh? You're saying eating a drumstick can heal me? Do I look like a three-year-old to you?!"
Zephyr stayed silent. To be honest, when he first played Genshin Impact, he was also baffled that eating food could restore health.
And he was doubly shocked by the fact that every single character in the game was an absolute glutton.
Paimon urged, "Hurry up and eat it! If you don't, I will!"
"…"
Without another word, Zephyr shoved the drumstick into Megumi's mouth.
"I won't eat it—I won't—mmph! …Nani?!"
Megumi Fushiguro was shocked. His injuries… they were actually healing!
Zephyr sighed in relief. Good, Genshin food still worked for healing. That was one less thing to worry about.
"This is unbelievable! What's in this drumstick? How can it do something like this?"
Paimon shrugged. "With your intelligence, Paimon doubt Paimon could explain it in a way you'd understand."
Lumine gave her a very questionable look. Pretty sure you don't understand it yourself either.
Megumi barely resisted the urge to punch this "little curse spirit." After all, she had just saved him.
"Hey, little one, why are you the only one talking? Where's your master?"
Paimon stomped her foot in the air, fuming. "Master?! Paimon is her companion! There's no superior-inferior relationship here! If you keep talking nonsense, Paimon will beat you up!"
"…"
"You don't believe me, do you?! Aaaagh, this is so frustrating! If Paimon had my full strength back, Paimon could squash a weakling like you with one finger!"
"Oh? The little thing's got quite the mouth. If you're so tough, why not settle it one-on-one?"
"You think Paimon is scared?! Let's do this!"
Paimon immediately flew behind the Traveler and shouted, "Go get him, Traveler! Beat him up!"
Megumi Fushiguro felt several veins pop on his forehead.
"What are you looking at? Never seen a one-on-one fight before? The Traveler and Paimon are of one mind! I am her, and she is me! So it's totally fine for her to fight in my place!"
Pfft!" Megumi nearly coughed up blood. He hadn't felt this bad even during the fight, but now, for some reason, he felt like he was about to collapse.
Zephyr changed the subject. "Paimon, go pick up Sukuna's finger."
"clear and bright~"
"...What?"
"Heh, you don't know? It's from a viral video on some app! clear and bright~!"
"...Wow. You haven't even been here a full day and you're already watching short videos."
Paimon picked up the grotesque, withered finger with visible reluctance.
Megumi tensed up. "Wait… is that your goal?"
"You guys shouldn't be holding onto that thing. Give it to me—I'll keep it safe!"
Paimon suddenly pulled out a pair of sunglasses from who-knows-where and smugly declared, "Hmph! Hmph! Hmph! Even at death's door, you sure do talk a lot. You really think you know who broke this seal?"
Megumi's pupils shrank.
Heh heh… You were just pawns in our master plan. Our goal was to use this finger to lure Jujutsu Sorcerers here, and then— OWWW! Traveler, why'd you hit me?!"
Zephyr sighed. "Stop making things up. I'm a good person, okay? Don't go around ruining my reputation."
Besides, Satoru Gojo was hiding somewhere nearby. If he actually believed that nonsense, it'd be a real problem.
Zephyr turned his head. Ahem… The 'friend' hiding over there, why don't you come out?"
"Araa, arraa~! Since I've been found out, I guess I can't stay hidden anymore."
At some point, a new figure had appeared on the rooftop.
Dressed in black, with white hair, and a blindfold covering his eyes…
"Kakashi?!"
Megumi ignored that and called out, "Gojo-sensei?!"
Gojo Satoru grinned. "Kakashi? Who's that? Girl, you've got me very curious."
"Gojo-sensei, why are you here?"
"Yo! I wasn't planning on coming at first, but, well, I just couldn't stop worrying about my dear little Megumi~! What if you got hurt? What if you accidentally died? I just couldn't leave you alone, so I came!"
Megumi twitched. "...Sensei, could you please stop calling me 'little Megumi'?"
"Got it, Megumi-chan. Understood, Megumi-chan. Anything else, Megumi-chan?"
"…"
"Well, now that I've got the whole picture—"
"Wait, Gojo-sensei, have you been here the whole time?"
"Yup."
"…So you were watching while I was getting beaten up?"
"Uh… well…"
Tch! Trash."
"Now, now! Your teacher was just looking out for you! No rain, no rainbow! No beatdowns, no Jujutsu Sorcerer growth! This is all just a loving teacher helping his dear student, you know!"
Megumi took a deep breath, forcing himself to swallow down a thousand curses.
"Oh, right, almost forgot!"
Gojo pulled out his phone. "An injured Megumi-chan… an angry Megumi-chan… you don't mind if your teacher takes a few pictures to show the second-years, right?"
Although he phrased it as a question, Gojo's tone was completely certain. Before he even finished speaking, he had already snapped a few photos.
Megumi gritted his teeth and raised an arm to cover his face.
"The higher-ups are going to nag about the loss of a Special-Grade Cursed Object. Since I was in the area enjoying the scenery, I figured I'd drop by. So? Did you find it?"
"You literally just saw everything, so why even ask? The Cursed Object is currently in the hands of… that… uh, new species of Cursed Spirit? Cursed Corpse? Mascot?"
"Paimon is not a mascot! And definitely not a Cursed Spirit!"
Gojo stroked his chin. "Fascinating species. This is my first time seeing one. Hey, mind if I dissect you?"
Paimon shivered and immediately flew behind the Traveler. "Of course not!"
Gojo turned to the girl in front of him. "Yo, little lady, why are you so quiet? You looked really pissed off just now. What's wrong? Someone make you mad?"
Zephyr raised a middle finger. "You've got some nerve asking that!"
Wait, was I the clown all along!?"
Gojo looked genuinely shocked. "Now hold on, I don't think we've met before. Why do you have such a deep grudge against me?"
Zephyr narrowed her eyes. "Gojo Satoru… did you really lose your memory?"
"Lost my memory? What are you talking about? I don't remember ever having amnesia."
Megumi deadpanned. "Gojo-sensei… if someone had amnesia, of course they wouldn't remember it."
Wait, was I the clown all along!?"
Zephyr sighed. "Then have you noticed anything strange about yourself recently?"
"Oh, definitely! Lately, every time I eat my fill, I feel super bloated."
"…"
Megumi facepalmed. "That just means you ate too much!"
//END